Heated Vibrations

I close my eyes not wanting to see his body falling to the ground; another man shot down. Some people keep count, tally their kills, not me. Everyone I kill, I regret, but if I don't, a thousand more innocent people will die. The world is not what it used to be, and I look around me grateful in a way Tallulah won't see this. That she won't witness the misery as night falls. "You okay?" I look at Marcus one of my team, as he stumbled towards me. "Yeah, just a small cut, damn that hurt" I look at his hand holding his stomach, that isn't a small cut. I can see the blood dripping through and not slow either. "Bro, let's get you to the hospital" I help him over to the truck, the rest of the team staying behind to clear up the mess. "Well, they said dead or alive, I guess they get him dead" Marcus laughs at me, I can't laugh, though. He may have been ready to send all those innocent people off in storage units, but it still doesn't feel right killing him. Had he not had a knife to Marcus's throat, I wouldn't have shot. The knife went into his stomach, and I closed my eyes hoping Marcus would get away, but the pain clearly was too much, because the next second the knife was on his neck, and I know for sure he was going to kill Marcus. "Stop Jackson, you saw all them women and children, you saved them from a life of s*****y and r**e, you did good". His words don't help, I don't believe in taking someones life, no matter how bad that person is, but he is right. We arrive at the hospital, helping him through I sit while they fix him up, a few hours later we walk together. "Back to finish up paperwork then home. I can't wait." He can't wait but I can. We get back and do all the paperwork explain why we had no choice but to shoot him then leave for the plane. I sit down and close my eyes waiting for the flight to be over with. Marcus and his witty jokes are not for me today, going home isn't like home for me anymore. "Bro, we're home" I open my eyes and sure enough we are home. I walk off the plain, the air hitting my face as I look around me. "We're home bro finally" I smile at Marcus, my best friend and brother. To me he is my brother. We have been together since I was sixteen, we are in the navy together, trained together and he even helped me fun my business. "So we are, now what?" I look at him and he shrugs. I am hardly ever home, he is. He has a wife something to come home for. Me, I have my mother, and very much immature brother. So, I spend at least eleven months out of the year working away. "You have that party to get to" I do, with my very immature brother. I will go though; it has been at least five months since I saw him. "Right, catch you later. Let me know if you hear anything" Marcus explains before walking to his car as I walk to mine, I drive straight to my mothers. I have missed her; she is right now the main person in my life. The silence is eerie; I hate it, I am used to noise, bullets, screams, it takes time to get back to normal after a mission. Pulling up to the house, I look at it, getting out and walk to the door, knocking on it gently, waiting. I could just walk in, but she isn't expecting me, and this will be a nice surprise for her. The door opens, and I look back at the pale, fragile woman looking back to me. "Jackson" Her arms wrap around me, as I hear her quiet sobs. "Oh son, it is so good to see you home. Please don't rush off so soon again" I smile and nod at her, I don't plan to this time. Something feels different; I don't know what but I have a feeling that was my last mission. "I never rush off mum, you know I spend time and say goodbye, I would never leave without saying a proper goodbye". That though, to be honest, is more for me than anyone else. I would hate to leave and die, and have that feeling follow me to the depths of hell. There is no denying it; I have killed too many people on missions; there is no place in heaven for me. We sit down and have a drink of tea, Liam walking in and looking at me. He has changed, he seems to have matured more. Not enough but at least a bit more. "Jack" I frown at his word, he knows not to call me that, and considering it is Liam, I am not surprised. It is just more proof he has not grown up. "Really, Liam? Still not grown up enough to stop calling me that?" He laughs and shrugs his shoulders. "Old habits die, hard brother, so ready to party?" I roll my eyes at him; I am not a party person. Okay, that is a lie, but I don't drink as excessively as he does. "I have work to do first, have to check up for any issues. Mum, are you still okay for Tuesday?" I look at her, and she smiles, nodding at me. "Son, even if you were not here, I would be going. Family means everything." "Yeah, and me, I am coming as well" I nod to Liam, hugging my mum one last time before leaving to check up on the business. The drive there takes too long, the silence in the car driving me insane. I can hear the screams of the last mission. My mind is trying to wipe the images from inside my head, but they can't.