The further away the better

I’m Dead

Eyes shut, hot and annoyed beyond repair, I look at the Ute and yell“if you're going to kill me, you can just f**k right off! I am not having a great day and as you can see, I’m in a crappy mood! Keep driving Dickhead!” Shocked when I realise what has come out of my mouth. I throw my luggage down, sit on my suitcase and flick my hand as a peaceful gesture to get the driver moving. I look up and see an incredible man, with distinctive green eyes, smirking at me. After a few seconds I gather my thoughts and attempt to control of my hormones, my god he is incredible, as in you could continue to start at this creature but also feel too shy to stare. I get my confidence and yell, “sorry, I didn’t realise I was the entertainment for the day, why are you laughing at me?” I'm astounding myself here, Mr green eyes speaks, deep but velvety voice my god, am I actually wet right now? Eyes closed and pushing my legs together to get some relief of what is happening to my little women, to the point of circulation maybe getting cut off, “well you seem to need some help, I don’t want to come across as a stalker, but can I call a taxi to come and get you?” I stare and missed everything he said, what is wrong with me. “ I would offer to give you a ride, clearly I don’t want to come across as some serial killer” that snaps me out! “ Huh? So you're a serial killer?” “No mam, I am not, can I call you a taxi? You probably have another hour before you reach Adelong on foot, there’s a few steep hills coming up and that luggage doesn’t look light” insert eye roll, strong independent women, thanks Cleo. I nod, head down and absolutely feeling like a fool. “Which one, taxi or me? “ I lift my head slightly, “taxi please” couldn’t imagine being in a car with that, feeling completely feral, sweaty and not in a good way, I have the chafing that could drop a hippo and my shoes I swear smell just as bad as the dead kangaroo I passed 1 hour ago. Mr Green eyes looks at me “all sorted, about 20 min I’ll wait up there, so I know you're safe just let Ritchie know where you're staying“ I give him my thanks. Knowing it’s a farm stay, Cleo booked me into, just outside of town. i***t me, just outside of town was not the right side of town I was dropped off on. I'd left my phone at the train station on purpose, and I was cursing myself for being such a reckless i***t. As promised, a taxi pulled up, an old guy in there I assume to be Ritchie. “Adelong Farm Stay please” Ritchie looks at me in an odd way, “oh s**t sorry do I smell, I’ve been walking for two hours” I grab some spray “sorry sir” Ritchie shakes his head, drives while I secretly try smelling myself and patting perfume on myself. 20 minutes later, I look up to see a house that’s pure glamour, beautiful cottage gardens, stonewalls, timber window bays and olive green panelling, drool. I walk to the reception in awe of what I'm walking into, Cleo knows me so well, after I pay Ritchie, and he gathers my luggage. I walk to the front desks a woman, smiles “you must be Kaly, I hope you found us ok, I hope all is ok, you're 3 hours late” I burst into tears. “ I’m so sorry, I am an absolute mess, I got off at the wrong end of town, I’m an i***t I can’t read maps, and I’m sweaty, I thought I was going to die to a serial killer who is an absolute stunning man my god he is good-looking, Ritchie the taxi guy thinks I stink, and I just want a shower I have no idea where I am, and this place is beautiful, miss can I please have a shower” as a sob away clearly I have lost my mind the lady roughly in her 60s maybe 70s smirks at me, what the hell is with this town and people laughing at me, I’m no bloody princess. Then I hear the door slam, as I spin around, Mr green eyes is looking at me and smirking.