A Shadow of an Illusion

Chapter 26

Erebus’ Point of View

After I finally told Menrui what I feel for her right from the start, the whole place got quiet. I could feel the nervousness all over my body, I really cannot figure out the expression on her face. Or should I say, the expression on her face became void right after I told her the truth.

Hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko at hindi ko na rin alam kung ano ba talaga ang epekto ng sinabi ko kay Menrui. After all, I was known for being a ruthless ruler of this world. The one who stole the freedom of this world. And she came to know me as a heartless b*stard who only knows to kill people.

I thought that she will downright reject me after I said that, but it was already a minute since I told her what I feel towards her and she was still quiet. She was so quiet that for the fist time in my life, I feel so scared.

Hindi ko na gusto pa ang katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa kaya naman napagdesisyunan kong basagin iyon, ngunit nauhanan na niya ako nang tumingin siya sa akin at hindi ko pa rin malaman kung ano ang nararamdaman niya para sa sinabi ko.

“Can you...” she told me and she hesitated again.

I did not talk and waited patiently for her to talk. After all, I know that it shocks her because of what I just confessed to her.

Plano ko na sanang sabihin iyon noong nag-usap kami sa garden isang linggo na ang nakararaan, pero hindi ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon dahil bigla na lamang dumating si Grim sa garden na iyon.

And I thought that this is the right time to tell her what I trully feels for her. After all, when I heard from that man that Menrui got kidn*pped by those ninjas, it makes my heart sunk and I thought that I will never be able to see her again nor I could say to her what I feel.

At naisip ko rin na baka hindi na ulit ako magkaroon ng pagkakataon para sabihin sa kaniya ang mga bagay na sinabi ko sa kaniya kanina, kaya naman napagdesisyunan ko na sabihin sa kaniya ang lahat ng totoo.

“Can you tell me what happened in your past?” she said that shocked me for real. “I mean you just said that this is the first time that you feel something like this since that incident happened. Can you tell me what is that incident?”

Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang sabihin sa kaniya ang nangyari noon o hindi, dahil ito ang unang beses na may nagtanong sa akin ng ganoon. Ito ang unang beses na mayroong tao na naglakas ng loob na tanungin ako ng ganoon. Though it is not really shocking because it is Menrui that I am talking to.

The woman who was always fierce and was never afraid to tell me what was on her mind. The woman who was not afraid to talk back to me even if I threaten her. The woman who stood her ground even if she was already defeated. The woman I fell for.

“You want to know the truth?” I asked her, making sure that it is what she wanted to know.

She nodded her head and touched her forehead as if it is aching. “Yes, please,” she told me, and I almost did not hear it because she just whispered it. “Please tell me what happened so that my mind would be cleared. So that I could have an answer with all the questions that was running on my head. So that...” Pinigilan niya ang sarili niya na sabihin pa ang ibang lalabas sa bibig niya.

It looks like she realized something because she shook her head as if she was trying to wake herself up. She looked at me pleadingly, and I could see that she was hurting and I wanted to hug her even if I do not know why she was hurting.

“Just please tell me what happened,” she told me and I could her eyes pleading as if it could be the answer on the questions running on her mind.

I took a deep breath as I started to think. Wala pa talagang nakaaalam ng kuwento na ito sa loob ng palasyo, kahit si Grim ay walang ideya sa bagay na ‘to. Sa isip ko kasi, hindi na kailangan pa nilang malaman kung ano ang nakaraan ko. Hindi na nila kailangang malaman kung ano ang nangyari bago ko napagdesisyunan ang sakupin ang mundong ito.

I looked at Menrui again, and it feels like I don’t want her to have that expression on her face. I want to erase that, and I know that the only way for her to remove that confused look on her face. That is to tell her my past.

Pero handa na ba talaga akong sabihin sa ibang tao ang nakaraan ko? Kung bakit ko ‘to ginagawa? Kung bakit ko napagdesiyunan na gawin ang mga bagay na ‘to? Kung bakit kailangan kong maging masama sa mundong ito? I really don’t know if I can.

But in my mind, sinasabi nito na hindi naman ibang tao si Menrui sa akin. Hindi naman siya isang tao lang na napadaan sa buhay ko. Siya ay ang taong nagparamdam muli sa akin ng emosyon na ‘to. Ang taong nagparamdam sa akin na hindi lahat ng tao rito sa mundo ay pare-parehas. May mga taong naiiba katulad niya.

I kept on staring at Menrui, hoping that I could get an answer to wether I should tell her my past or not, but the urge of wanting to remove the confused, at the same time, hurt expression on her face is more important to me, so in the end, I decided to tell her everything.

I took a deep breath again as I started to take myself back from that past, and as I started telling Menrui that past I am talking about. It happened almost a hundred years ago when I thought that everything was still normal.

That time when I was still a kid and not even bother to think of this world’s problems. I was living happily with my Dad on the country side, but everything has changed when he suddenly got an invitation on one of the kingdoms, the Sky Empire, that was telling him to become the right hand man of the Royal Family of the Sky Empire.

“Ano iyan?” tanong ko sa aking ama no’ng makita ko kung gaano ka-seryoso ang mukha niya habang binabasa ang sulat na dumating noong araw na ‘yon.

Mukhang napagtanto niya na naroroon ako dahil umling siya na para bang ginigising ang sarili niya. Tumingin siya sa akin at binigyan ako ng pilit na ngiti, na akala ko noon ay tunay na ngiti kaya ipinagsawalang bahala ko na lang iyon.

“Wala ito,” sabi niya sa akin at ginulo pa ang buhok ko. “Huwag mo na akong intindihin at magbasa ka na lamang ng libro sa kwarto mo. Hindi ba at gusto mong matutunan ang lahat ng konektado sa magic mo?” tanong niya sa akin kaya naman biglang lumiwanag ang mukha ko.

Tumango ako sa kaniya at nagtatalon pa na para bang natuwa ako sa sinabi niya. “Oo!” malakas ko pa na sabi kaya napangiti muli ang aking ama.

“Then you should already go to your room and read those books that I gave you. When I have time to go in the book store near our place, I will go and buy you one again. And when I am not busy anymore, we can practice your magic, What about that?” he asked me then he hummed.

Agad naman akong pumayag sa kaniya dahil sa isip ko noon, tutuparin niya ang pangako niya sa akin. After all, I did not remember when did my Dad had lied to me, so I really thought that promise will never be broken but I was wrong. I was so wrong that it almost break my heart.

Because right after that day, Dad was always away from our home. He was only coming back whenver it was Sundays, pero hindi rin iyon nagtagal at minsan pa nga, isang buwan na ang nakalilipas bago pa siya makabalik sa aming tahanan. At sa tuwing bumabalik siya, para bang nawawala ang emosyon sa mukha niya. Para bang ang lagi niyang pinupuntahan ang dahilan kung bakit siya nagkakaganoon.

Hindi na rin niya nagawa pang tuparin ang pangako niya na hahasain niya ang magic ko. Hindi na rin niya nagagawa pang bilhan ako ng libro na ipinangako niyang bibilhin niya para sa akin. Lahat ng ipinangako niya no‘ng araw na ‘yon, ay hindi na natupad pang muli.

Of course, as a kid, I asked him why he was always away, and why he does not fulfill his promises anymore, but whenever he will answer me he would always say that he was busy with his work that is why he could not fulfill what he promised to me.

And just like what I did on that day, I did not bother to pry anymore and just let him do whatever he wanted to do. I thought that he was just tired because of his work, that I never really know what is that work he was talking about, so I just did not bother to talk about it anymore. Not until he did not return for almost a year.

That was when I realized that something was wrong with him. That something was up that is why he was always away, so when he arrived in our home and then he went out again the day after, I followed him to where he was going.

Nagtaka ako nang makita ko na hindi siya pumunta sa parte ng bayan kung saan siya kumukuha ng mga mission, at mas lalo akong nagtaka no’ng nakita kong lumagpas siya roon at dumiretso sa palasyo ng Sky Empire. That was the time that I know something was up with that palace so I decided to follow him inside, unnoticed, using my magic.

Walang nakapansin at wala ring nakahalata na may nakasunod sa aking ama. He thought me well on how to use my magic, and those books that he bought helped me to learn a lot, that is why I could use my magic without a hassle. I can even use it for a long period of thime which is odd because I was still a kid back then.

But I remembered that Dad told me that it was not impossible for me to learn my magic at an early age considering that I am intelligent, at sinabi pa niya na hindi ko na kailangan pang sumama sa mga kabataang tinuturuan ng magic sa loob ng bayan namin, dahil ayon sa kaniya, kayang-kaya ko na raw matutunan iyon ng mag-isa.

And I believed in him, that is why I could use my magic without so much hassle, and I gave it a try when I followed him inside the Sky Empire’s palace. Hindi ko na pinansin pa ang mga nasa paligid ko at patuloy lamang ako sa pagsunod sa kaniya, dahil sa takot ko na hindi ko na siya masundan pang muli.

Ilang mga pasilyo pa ang dinaanan namin bago siya tumigil sa isang pinto na doble ang laki sa kaniya. I know that behind that door is the Queen and King’s throne. I have read it for countless of times on the books that was inside our house. The structure of the palace, as well as the throne of the Royal family, that is why I am sure that is the place where we could find the throne.

I heard my Dad took a deep breath before the door opened completely and he went inside. Kahit nagtataka ako sa kinkilos niya, sinundan ko pa rin siya dahil alam ko na masasagot lang ang lahat ng mga katanungan sa isip ko sa oras na sundan siya sa pagpasok niya sa kwarto na iyon.

When he reached the front of the throne, he immediately bowed down to the King and the Queen of Sky Empire. Walang sinabi na kahit ano ang mga nakaupo sa trono sa kaniya bilang pagbati at nanantiling seryoso ang mukha ng mga ‘yon, na mas naging dahilan para paghinalaaan ko sila sa kung ano mang balak nilang gawin.

“I believe that you already have an answer with the letter that I have send to you a year ago,” the King of the Sky Empire said with his powerful voice.

Nabalik naman ako sa araw na may binabasa siyang sulat na galing sa Sky Empire. Ang araw na iyon na naging dahilan para mag-iba ang aking ama. Ang araw na naging dahilan kaya laging umaalis ang aking ama na inabot na ng isang taon bago siya makabalik. Mukhang malalaman ko na ang dahilan kung bakit sobrang seryoso ng mukha niya no’ng araw na ‘yon.

Patuloy lang akong nakikinig sa kanilang usapan upang malaman ko ang dahilan niya para gawin ang bagay na ‘yon na hindi naman niya ginagawa dati.

“Yes, I have,” my Father said while he was still bowing down at the two people in front of me. “Those mission that I have been getting since that day makes me strong enough so that I could finish that mission that no one ever done.”

Napatigil namana ako at napaisip. A mission that was never done by anyone? Is there a such thing? But the only that was in my mind right now is the mission that some says it was cursed, because the people who tried to give that mission a try dies on the spot. Walang kahit sino ang nakaligtas sa misyon na iyon. Walang kahit sino ang sumubok na gawin iyon ang bumalik nang buhay.

Hindi kaya... Hindi kaya iyon ang misyon na tinutukoy ng Hari ng Sky Empire. It couldn’t be, right? Because I know that there will be a high chance that my Dad will not be able to come back home alive.

“Then I want you to finish the mission of the lost Elysian Island,” the King said that made my heart sunk.

Iyon nga ang mission na tinutukoy nila. Ang misyon kung saan kailangan nilang hanapin ang matagal nang nawawalang isla ng Elysia. Ang isla na ani nga ng iba ay kathang isip lamang ng mga tao sa Sky Empire at isang kuwentong bayan lamang.

Sinasabi na wala naman talagang ganoong pangalan ng isla sa Sky Empire at wala rin namang makapagsabi kung totoo nga ang sabi-sabi sa loob ng Sky Empire, kaya naman wala na ring sumubok na hanapin ang isla na iyon dahil na rin sa takot na baka hindi na sila makabalik nang buhay.

Mukhang gustong malaman ng Hari ng Sky Empire kung mayroon talagang isla na ang pangalan ay Elysia, at mukhang ang ama ko ang naatasan niyang gumawa ng misyon na iyon.

“Yes, then I will go now, King.” Akmang aalis na ang aking ama pero sa isip ko, kailangan ko siyang pigilan dahil alam ko na hindi rin siya magtatagumpay sa kaniyang balak.

Without much thinking, I showed myself to everyone without even care that I just went inside the palace without any invitation.

Gulat na napatingin ang aking ama at pati na rin ang Hari at Reyna. May nagtatanong na tingin ang mga ito sa kanilang mga mukha na para bang hindi nila inaasahan na may isang batang lalaki na nakapasok sa loob ng palasyo nila nang wala silang kaalam-alam.

“Cynth?” gulat na tawag sa aking tunay na pangalan ng aking ama.

Tumingin ako sa kaniya nang pagkasama-sama at sinabing, “Hindi ko hahayaang gawin mo ang misyon na ito!”

Ang gulat na nasa mukha niya kanina ay napalitan ng pilit na ngiti. “Nakapagdesisyon na akio, anak.”

Marahas akong umiling at tumutol sa kaniyang gustong gawin. “Hindi ako makakapayag. HIndi ko hahayaang gawin mo ang misyon na wala namang katiyakan na makababalik ka nang buhay! Alam mo naman ang mga nangyari sa mga taong sumubok na gawin ang misyon na ‘to, hindi ba?”

“I know,” he said.

“Then why do you still insist on doing it?” I asked, frustrated that he have to do something like this. “Is this because of them?” I pointed at the King and Queen who were just watching the both of us. “Or is it something else?”

May iba pa bang dahilan para gawin niya itoi? Kung mayroon man, bakit hindi niya sinabi sa akin? Bakit niya ako pinagmukhang t*nga? Para saan? Para sa mga taong nakaupo sa trono na iyon?

“He wanted to do that mission in exchange for your freedom, young man,” sabi ng Hari na naging dahilan para mapatingin ako sa kaniya.

Mapakla akong natawa at hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin sa kanya. “What did you just say? For my freedom?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yes, Cynth.” I looked at my Dad again and I could see pained expression on his face. “Maraming mga tao ang gusto kang makuha dahil sa angkin mong talino kaya naman nag-offer ang Sky Empire na siguraduhin na ligtas ka sa isang kondisyon...”

“At iyon ay ang tapusin mo ang misyon na iyon.” Pagtatapos ko sa iba pa niyang gustong sabihin.

Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala na ito ay dahil sa akin. Nangyari ang lahat ng ito nang dahil sa akin. It was all because of me that Dad had to do that mission.

“Do you think that you can really finish this mission?” I asked him but he just looked down and I know that he already knows what will happen to him.

“At least I tried,” he mumbled. “For your safety, I have to do it.” Then he looked at me.

“B*llshit,” I told him and I took a step back. “This is all a b*llshit!” I shouted and I ran away from that palace.

Naririnig ko ang pagtawag ng aking ama sa akin pero hindi ko iyon pinansin at mas binilisan ko pa ang pagtakbo ko. Akala ko ay susundan niya ako at sasabihing hindi niya na gagawin ang misyon, pero nagakamali ako dahil nalaman ko na lamang kinabukasan na umalis na ang aking ama para gawin ang misyon.

So, I started to wait for him. Weeks, months, until years had passed and he still did not return, until I found out that they found his dead body on the shore. Naging laman ng balita ang araw na iyon at naging target na ako ng mga taong gustong kumuha sa akin dahil bigla na lamang umalis ang mga taong inatasan ng Sky Empire na magbantay sa akin.

Pumunta ako sa palasyo ng Sky Empire para humingi ng paliwanag kung ano ang nangyari, pero mukhang gusto rin nila akong makuha kaya tumakbo ako at nagtago upang hindi na ako mahanap pa ng mga taong iyon.

That was the time that I decided to take a revenge for my fallen father. That was the time that I turned my back to the whole world. That the time that I came to hate everything and everyone around me.

Then someone came to help me to take a revenge, and until now, we are still working together so that this world will know the pain that I felt and the betrayal that I experienced.

I became heartless and ruthless, until I met the person who gave me a light.

And that person is Menrui.