Collateral Damage

Alex It was her first official night in town, the wonderful town of Wandervile, as the sign at the town limits stated in bold white letters on a puke green background. Alex had been here for about two days but all that time was spent moving and rearranging her new apartment. She was tired not just physically but mentally. Everything was just too much lately but she couldn’t let it get to her.  All her life she felt like an outsider. When she came out to her parents that she liked girls she knew they’d never look at her the same again. Soon after that they  divorced, although they both said it wasn’t because of her.  Alex’s parents were well off thanks to their business’, Alex had never really wanted for anything. Even after they  divorced it was like they were trying to buy her over, and it was like a rough game of tug-o-war between them. Though with this last move she took advantage of it and her mom was more than happy to help her out, immediately hopping on the phone to find the perfect apartment for her, she said. Her father offered to buy her furniture and anything else to help her make it feel like home.  It was a seemingly nice gesture, but Alex knew it was only because they wanted to rub it in each other's faces. She hated it but at least she had a nice apartment now and her dad gave her a line on his credit card to get whatever she needed. Somewhat like an allowance he said, he just wanted to make sure she was comfortable.  Alex hated that she had to move just to try and start over. She hated feeling like it was just her running from her problems again. This wasn’t something she had only done one other time while she was in college. Things had gotten so bad she switched schools halfway through her last semester. She had been going for a degree in psychology. Everyone she met told her she had a way of talking with people that just made them want to open up  to her, she liked that people felt so comfortable with her.  She just never felt comfortable with other people. She pulled a cigarette out of her pack and lit it. She didn’t know why she held onto smoking, the thought passing through her mind that maybe it was just out of stupid habit.  Fucking habits are what ruined her life this far. Sitting in her car in the parking lot of a random club she pulled up to Alex leaned back and sighed. She didn’t know where exactly she went wrong but she felt like it was all her fault. The two therapists she went to see after she broke up with her ex both labeled her traumatized. She didn’t want to believe it but they both explained it in extreme detail. Now she couldn't get it out of her head. Traumatized. She inhaled the tobacco smoke slowly. Letting her thoughts roll over her like small waves at the beach shore. She thought about her ex Trixie, the reason she was in this town now. How no one knew her here and she could have another chance. Feeling her phone vibrate she was pulled from her thoughts. Opening it she felt the scowl form on her face, it was trixie. Great, Alex thought to herself, even think of the devil and you’re bound to get screwed.  She wanted to scream, but instead she opened up the message. Curiosity was constantly getting the best of her. Hey came to see you and saw you were gone, like gone gone. What’s going on?  Alex let out a fast deep sigh. Weeks after breaking up with her still she didn’t know when to give up. Alex was tired of it, tired of trying to be nice and civil about it. But she calmed herself with the thought that she put a good amount of space between her and trixie. Trixie and Alex had been dating for the past two years and at first Alex thought she was happy. Over time she saw it wasn’t happiness at all. Sure maybe at the very beginning, there was potential for true happiness, but what followed took the image of happiness and set it on fire. Alex had never been so disappointed in herself.  She let this woman manipulate and control her. She forgot everything she loved and things she wanted to do because of her. Trixie just wanted someone to dote on her every move and at first it was cute to have someone who needed and wanted so much attention.To have someone who constantly wanted her around. It was so beautiful at first.  She shook her head attempting to clear her thoughts. She wasn’t trying to get into it this deep.  She reminded herself it was going to be okay. She was taking it a day at a time right now and it was going to be okay. Pulling back up Trixies message she typed out a reply. Sorry forgot to tell you i guess, not that i felt you really needed to know tho. But yeah I left. Couldn’t do it anymore. Too much s**t and I cant take it anymore trixie. Pls stop texting me. We are broken up, we’re not friends like that. Like I hope all is well but pls just stop. Hoping that would be the end of it she put her phone down and took a drag of her cigarette. She hated seeming so mean but Trixie wouldn’t listen, she never did. It was always about her and keeping up with her. Alex was sure she had never met a person more obsessed with themselves. Granted Alex knew self love and all that type of stuff was important but this girl had taken it beyond all of that. Alex was screwed up now because of it.  She ran her hand through her hair and looked out the window at the club. It looked like it could be fun or at least a change of scenery and she didn’t really know what else to do in this town.  She felt like if she left her hair down she would end up pulling it out all night long. She sighed and leaned back putting her hands on the wheel. She wasn’t much of a drinker these days, but she felt she earned it after everything she’d been dealing with lately.  Getting out of her car, making sure she had her keys, wallet and cigarettes, and started towards the front door.  She was hoping this was it for her. That she’d be able to grow and heal. Her mom called an old family friend and helped her get a job at a little coffee shop in town. Everything was going to be okay. She had to keep trying to believe that.  Walking into the club she immediately liked the low lighting. It wasn’t super packed at the bar so she decided to sit down there.  Pulling out a stool at the end she waited for the bartender to come down.  Alex pulled out her phone scrolling through her social media to pass the time. The bartender came down and asked what she was having. Alex was stunned into silence at how beautiful this woman was.  The first thing she noticed was her eyes and how she held herself. It was a new feeling to Alex. She told herself she wasn’t going to get caught up though. The last thing she needed was a new reason to move again. She ordered a s*x on the beach and Just sat at the bar the rest of the night.  She kept her eyes on the bartender trying not to be too creepy looking but she was so eye-catching. Maybe it was the way the lights bounced off of her. She wore a silver top that sparkled in the bar lights. Her hair was a little past her shoulders and it was dark.  Alex kept feeling her phone vibrating, and figuring it was texts from Trixie she turned it on silent. She scrolled through her social media for a bit ordering a couple more drinks before calling it a night.  She left a good tip for the bartender hoping she didn’t seem creepy all night long. She wasn’t great at talking to people. She wanted so badly to try and talk to her but she knew she was in a bad mood and she didn’t want to make a bad impression.  Tomorrow she started her job at the coffee shop. She met Angel briefly and he seemed nice enough. He told her he had someone he wanted her to meet because he thought they could be friends. He went on to talk about this girl who was his best friend, and Alex thought she sounded nice so she agreed to meet her the next morning hoping she wouldn’t be too overwhelmed. She mainly agreed because she thought she could use a friend. Angel talked so highly of her so she couldn’t be too bad. If anything it would just be a simple hello and they’d never speak again.  After spending a few minutes in the lot finishing a cup of water so she wasn’t driving drunk or even buzzed, she pulled off towards her home. She hoped this would work out. She just wanted to be happy and content with her life.  Pulling into her lot and heading to her apartment the bartender flashed across her mind for a brief moment. There was just something about her that made Alex curious. She was in control all night despite how many drunk people Alex saw her deal with. She handled them all like a professional. It was very attractive to Alex. She loved a girl who could handle herself.  Smacking herself on the forehead she let herself in and locked the door behind her. She really wasn’t trying to get back into her feelings. She changed into her pajamas and laid down in her bed. She had such a long day trying to learn what she could about the town. She finished moving her things in and now it was all catching up to her. Her muscles screamed at her to lay down and relax. She finally decided to listen.  Drifting slowly off to sleep Alex let herself mind wander back to the bartender. Her last thought before she fell asleep was if she would see her again.  She hoped she would.