A Love to Burn

Kabanata Tatlo

If I could be friends with him, matagal ko na sana iyong ginawa. But I didn’t, because I’m not the kind of woman who would still talk to her ex after he hurt her. I’m not a masochist! Anong tingin niya sa akin? Tatanggapin pa rin siya bilang kaibigan? He didn’t even explain why he couldn’t keep his promise! I was the one who found the reason

I smirked. He deserved what I replied to him and I would say that to him over and over again if he tried to ask me that question for the second time.

“Oh? You’re here? Hindi mo sinabi sa amin na uuwi ka!”

Sinalubong ako ni mommy nang mahigpit na yakap pagpasok ko pa lang sa loob bahay namin. It was early in the morning when I decided to visit my parents. Hindi ko sinabi sa kanila na uuwi na ako galing sa Paris kaya hindi sila ang nagsundo sa akin kahapon sa airport.

“Where’s Dad?” tanong ko habang inililibot ang mga mata sa loob ng bahay. Wala pa rin namang pinagbago sa ayos noon. Kung ano iyong pagkaaalala ko noong bago ako umalis ng Pilipinas, ganoon pa rin ang bahay namin hanggang ngayon.

Ang pinagkaiba lang ay bago na ang mga gamit. The color white sofa from years ago was now color gray with gold throw pillows. The flat screen television was now bigger than before. But they were still placed in the same position. Ang sofa ay nasa harap ng flat screen television at pinalilibutan ang malaking center table. Sa ilalim ng television ay ang long ribbon fireplace.

I smiled. Hinaplos ko ang sofa at dinama kung gaano kalambot iyon. I missed living here.

“I’m here, Anak.”

Lumingon ako sa may hagdanan nang marinig ang boses ni daddy. Mas lalong lumaki ang ngiti ko at patakbong sinalubong siya, kasalukuyan pa siyang nasa mataas na baitang ng hagdan kaya naman tinulungan ko siya na makababa. Dad was a former soldier and when he retired, he opened up a small grocery store. Ang maliit na grocery store lang namin noon ay marami ng branch ngayon sa iba’t-ibang bahagi ng Pilipinas. My mom was hands-on about the business, though. She was a former housewife but since she had a business to think of and to handle, she became a businesswoman. Same with my dad.

“How are you, hm?” tanong ni daddy at hinaplos ang buhok ko habang nakayakap ako sa kaniya nang mahigpit. I didn’t get to see them for 2 years. Pinuntahan nila ako sa Paris para bisitahin ngunit 2 years ago pa iyon.

“I’m doing fine, Dad. I’m going to have my own clothing store soon,” excited kong sagot sa tanong ni daddy.

Kapag si daddy ang kausap ko, feeling ko ay bumabalik ako sa pagiging bata. He was very fond of me since I’m an only child. Kahit na busy si dad sa trabaho niya noong bata pa ako ay hindi sila nagkulang ni mommy sa pag-aalaga sa akin, kahit pa sabihin din na may mga katulong naman kami sa bahay.

“That’s great! Are you going to be the one to design it? O may kinuha kang architect para tulungan ka?” tanong naman ni mommy nang marinig ang sinabi ko.

Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti ko nang marinig ang sinabi ni mommy. I really wanted to forget about it. I wanted to avoid every conversation that was connected to him. Ngunit alam kong imposible iyon ngayong siya pa ang architect ko para sa aking clothing store.

“I have an architect to help me, Mom,” tipid kong sagot.

“Who’s the architect?”

“Seatiel.”

Malaki ang ngiti nina mommy at daddy sa narinig. They knew that Seatiel was an architect so I bet they were already expecting me to tell them this. Of course, bakit iba pa ang kukunin kong architect kung iyon ang trabaho ng boyfriend ko?

Yes. They thought that Seatiel was still my boyfriend dahil hindi ko sinabi sa kanila ang totoo. Noong umalis ako papuntang Paris, hindi ko sinabi na nag-break na kaming dalawa ni Seatiel. The reason was, I didn’t want to disappoint them. They liked Seatiel for me and they were expecting me to be married to hiim. Isa pa, I was thinking that after my studies in Paris, I would be reunited again with Seatiel ngunit hindi ganoon ang nangyari. Hanggang sa hindi ko na nasabi ang totoo. My parents were fond of him back then, and maybe until now…

“Seatiel called last week. Nangumusta sa aming dalawa ng Mom mo. I’m glad you two are okay. I like him for you, Marga. He’s perfect to be your husband, we won’t stop you two if you already want to get married.” Dad laughed as well as mom.

Naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng pisngi ko. If they knew what was the truth, I’m sure they wouldn't tell something like that and I wouldn't see them laugh like this. Pero paano ko sasabihin sa kanila ang totoo kung ganito ang reaksyon nila kapag napag-uusapan ang tungkol sa aming dalawa ni Seatiel?

And I am right. They were still fond of him until now. Ngunit, tama ba iyong narinig ko kanina?

“Did you say that Seatiel called you?” lito kong tanong.

Tumango si daddy. “Oo, anak. He’s calling us and sometimes, he’s visiting us when he’s free.”

“Minsan, may mga dala siyang pagkain o kaya naman ay mga regalo para sa amin ng Daddy mo,” dugtong naman ni mommy.

Kumunot ang noo ko kaya nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa mga magulang ko. Bakit ginagawa pa rin iyon ni Seatiel kung may girlfriend na siyang iba? Hindi ba nagagalit ang girlfriend niya sa ginagawa niya? And he also had the privilege to tell my parents that we were already over, why was he not doing it? Kailangan ba ay ako pa ang magsabi?

While sitting here in our living room, I couldn't help but think about it. Gusto ko na nga ring tumayo rito at puntahan ang opisina ni Seatiel para makausap siya. But I swore to myself that I wouldn’t talk to him unless it was for the work he needed to do with me.

Tanghali na noong umalis ako sa bahay. I just ate my lunch before I went because my mom was nagging me to eat lunch with them. Ngayong araw, wala talaga akong gagawin bukod sa ang umuwi sa apartment ko na ayaw kong gawin. If I were to stay there today, I would have to remember everything again and I knew that I would end up crying just like yesterday. Ayaw ko ng mangyari pa iyon.

Maybe I should find a new place to live in. Condo? And a company to work while I’m waiting for my own store to be build. Bumuntong-hininga ako at napagdesisyunan na iyon ang gagawin ngayong araw. Ngunit hindi pa rin ako umuwi sa apartment ko. I went to a coffee shop to search for a condominium building. Ayaw ko namang pumunta sa bahay ni Leila o kaya naman ni Inori dahil may mga asawa’t anak na ang mga iyon. And I’m sure it was their rest day since it was Sunday.

“Ms. Aneesa Carmen, here’s your coffee.”

Napalingon ako sa counter ng coffee shop nang marinig ang pamilyar na pangalan na iyon. Where did I hear that name again? But I’m sure I didn't know anyone with that name ngunit pamilyar lang talaga sa akin ang pangalan niya.

I shrugged it off at ipinagpatuloy na lang ang pag-bro-browse sa internet.

“Ms. Marga.”

Kaagad akong tumayo mula sa aking table nang marinig na banggitin ng crew ang pangalan ko. Lumapit ako sa counter at napansin na naroon pa rin iyong babae na nagngangalang Aneesa. I saw her before I diverted my eyes from the counter kanina ngunit nakatalikod na siya sa akin. Hanggang ngayon ay nakatalikod pa rin siya sa akin at nahaharangan niya iyong mismong puwesto kung saan ko kukunin ang kape ko.

So, I spoke, “Excuse me, Miss.”

Lumingon sa akin iyong babae. I must say that she was pretty. Baby face. Bilog na bilog ang mga mata at manipis ang mga labi. Her high cheekbones complemented her whole face. Ang hindi ko lang nagustuhan sa kaniya ay ang sobrang haba niyang buhok. She looked like a white lady.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I’m standing in the way,” malumanay ang boses niyang sambit.

I smiled at her. “It’s okay.” Kinuha ko iyong kape ko at bumalik na sa aking table.

Ang akala ko ay iyon na ang huling pag-uusap namin noong Aneesa but I was wrong dahil sinundan niya pala ako sa table ko. I offered her the seat in front of me since I didn’t have any companion din naman.

“I’m sorry if I sat in front of you. Wala na kasing ibang mauupuan,” mas malumanay pa ang kaniyang boses kaysa kanina.

Inilibot ko ang paningin sa loob ng coffee shop. Wala na ngang ibang mauupuan dahil okupado na ang lahat ng tables. Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko kay Aneesa at nagsalita, “It’s alright. Wala naman akong ibang kasama."

Ngumiti siya sa akin. When she smiled, pakiramdam ko ay nakakita ako ng anghel. She was really pretty and demure! Kahit ang suot niyang damit ay makikitang conservative talaga siya. Long sleeve brown dress na tinernuhan din ng brown sandals. Kulay brown din ang dala niyang bag. She liked matching clothes, huh?

Samantalang ako, ang suot kong damit ay kulay black na crop top, high waist denim pants, at black boots. We were the opposites of each other.

“Uh, don’t worry,” she said and smiled wearily. “Aalis din ako agad, I’m just waiting for someone…”

Tumawa ako dahil sa nag-aalala niyang itsura. Sa tingin ko ay nag-aalala siya dahil iniisip niya na naiinis ako sa kaniya. She sat on my table even though we didn’t know each other, but I’m not really bothered about this, though.

“You’re waiting for your boyfriend?” I couldn’t help but ask.

Kaagad na namula ang pisngi niya. Maputi siya kaya pansin na pansin iyon. “Y-Yes,” nahihiya niyang sagot sa tanong ko.

Ngumiti ako at tumango-tango. I knew it, looks like she has a date to attend today based on her outfit.

“Aneesa.”

Naestatwa ako sa kinauupuan ko nang may marinig na pamilyar na boses sa aking likuran. It was a man’s voice and I couldn’t be mistaken. It was Seatiel’s voice.

“Babe,” sambit ni Aneesa at tumayo sa kaniyang kinauupuan. “Thank you for offering this seat. Marga, right?” Lumingon siya sa akin habang nakangiti.

Nakuha ko pang tumango kahit na hindi ko na maintindihan ang sariling nararamdaman. I couldn’t even tilt my head to look at her boyfriend! Hindi ako puwedeng magkamali, boses talaga iyon ni Seatiel! Doon ko lang napagtanto ang lahat ng nangyayari. Kung ganoon, si Seatiel ang boyfriend niya? Siya iyong babaeng ipinalit ni Seatiel sa akin?

“Let’s go?”

Nang makaalis sila ay doon lang ako lumingon, and I was right. It was really Seatiel. Mula sa glass door ay natanaw ko silang naglalakad papunta sa kotse na naka-park sa gilid ng coffee shop. And I’m also not mistaken that he took a glance at me before he entered the driver’s seat. He looked shock to see me. Hindi niya alam kanina na ako iyong kausap ni Aneesa dahil hindi naman ako lumingon sa kaniya at hindi niya rin 'ata narinig noong sinabi ni Aneesa ang pangalan ko.

What the hell. Just – just why would I compliment my ex’s girlfriend like that? I’m taking back all the good things I said about her earlier!

What did I say? Maganda? No, she was not!