Deep tenderness

Can you love me like that?

A sudden flash of lightning burnt my flower pot, I gasped in shock. I hear yelling from the hall because my dad was drunk again. It felt like my flower was budding but it was raining. I locked my window because I didn't want my flower Aria to get inside this rain and so much pain. She was soft and tender. I breathed heavily and unexpectedly I started crying, my heart was in pain. My cute little flower pot was dead, my family was fighting, and there was me who was confused about loving my own friend. I heard a knock on my door, and I open to my favorite human smiling back at me. Aria hugs me tightly and kisses me softly on my neck. I chuckle quietly and ask her how she has come to my home today. "I wanted to do my homework with you today, So I had to ask my father to drop me here today." She gave me the best company not letting me feel left out.

Facing each other on the bed, where we could also hear each other breathing. I spoke, "I missed you." She comes closer and pecks my forehead, "I did too." I gleam. She sees the world in color, I see it in black and white. When will it be when I would be seeing life like a normal person? I just keep repeating this feeling of blues. She saw me catching tears and becoming heavy again, "don't worry ray, everything is going to be alright. You just have to breathe." she says as she rubs my back to embrace my comfort. I sit back leaning on my bed, "I know that, it just gets tiring sometimes. And I can't stop avoiding all these negative thoughts. It feels like I will lose you one day, and I'm just living a life of fantasy. It hurts me day and night to think about my conservative household and to be holding the restrictions all the time. I want to be free, free from all of this." I ranted to aria. She smiles like an angel and replies back, "Once you just think about how grateful you are in life everything that was hurting disappears. Look at me, look at me. See, you already know that I come from a very very conservative and strict household, we can't even dress like we want to. But you know, meeting you and knowing you in my life was the greatest part. I think about you when I worry, I suddenly feel a lot better Because I am thankful to have you, to have you as a part of my life."

My eyes were glowing with tears and also a huge smile on my face. She was really that one person I want to smile at when I think of. And, when I sabotage my own self and burn myself down I want to think about her and smile too, Just like she did. I didn't know how to respond to her softness, instead, I walked up to the study room to complete our homework. It was hard for me to express love for a person I really want to have a beautiful lifestyle with. Both of us completed our works and she had to go now. I missed her, still. And as time passed, she went back to her home. She still kept checking on me, if I was fine and doing good. I was literally so glad that she never let me down, she never made me feel lonely when she existed.

I was too tired to text her back or have my dinner with my drunken dad also with the background of my mom arguing for a better marriage. So, I decided to sleep. I fell asleep as soon as I closed my eyes. My heart was warm with the sweet memories of Aria, my head was full of confusion and thoughts of my family. Eventually, when I woke up, my bed and clothes smelled like Aria. It felt like a great day already. Just like she told me yesterday, to be grateful when any negative thought comes in, I put myself into practice. I got myself ready for school and walked down the stairs. I see my mother in tears, she was crying and cursing about her husband. My heart was beating faster than usual, I felt anxious and frustrated as well. I ignored and walked away with the sandwiches my mom made me. I step out of my house to go to my school and see myself feeling a little lighter as I thought about Aria. I grin to myself softly and continue to walk for school.

As I reach my school, I find all my classmates being busy with their regular duties. My eyes search and look for Aria, but she wasn't in my sight. I suddenly got insecure, I was my own critic. I walked towards the locker room and place my bag taking away the book for my first class. My heart was beating faster again, I was anxious but this time I self-sabotaged saying everything was in my mind, I was confused about how to deal with this. A gentle hand grabbed me in this chaos, I couldn't open my eyes being afraid of what to see. My only wish, for now, was to be treated soft and tender, whoever it was I wanted to be out of this pain. I open my eyes to Aria hugging me in the restroom. I hug her back in comfort. She smiled and said, "Hope you have a good day today, I love you." And walks away back to her classroom. I felt like everything was fine, I felt happy and great suddenly.

As the classes went on, I was doing great because of Aria. Following, the break fell and I was sitting around alone in my thoughts. Sunshine left me all day and I'm all alone with rain, who would love me like that? Like the smell of moisture when it rains, like the feeling after a tight hug, or like a feeling when someone touched your heart without any knowledge? Who would love me like that? My thoughts were here and there. And I hear a sweet voice from behind, "I will love you like that." said aria. I realized I was too loud with my thoughts and smiled at my pretty little flower.