Scarred Cliff

Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Mia

I fell asleep last night the moment my head hit the pillow, and when I wake up, I hear the guys quietly talking in the living room.

A quick check of my phone tells me that it’s seven in the morning, a time I’d normally already be awake, making breakfast and coffee, getting ready for the day ahead, preparing dinner and things like that. I sit up, my heart beating fast as I wonder if the guys would have wanted me to wake up earlier, or if they would have liked for me to make them something to eat. Or maybe they would’ve just liked to have me around, to talk to and things like that, so they wouldn’t feel so alone in the morning.

Footsteps come up to the bedroom door and Mal puts his head around the corner, smiling, but his smile disappears when he finds me staring at him.

Fuck.

There’s that look again, that way he looked at me last night too, like he knows something is going through my head and he’s not happy about it.

“We were wondering if you wanted coffee, or something else?” He steps inside, sitting down on the edge of the bed, his voice careful. “Or maybe it’s too early for you?”

I shake my head, trying to bring my heartbeat down. They’d say it if they’d wanted something from me, they wouldn’t hide it, right? But with everything that has changed, maybe that has changed too. “I’d like some tea, if possible.”

“Sure. I think he’s got some Earl Grey or something winter-themed or something. I’ll check for you.” He smiles a little, playing his fingers over my hand before he stands up. “Do you want it here, or at the table?”

“I’ll come out of bed...” I sigh, smiling back. “Wouldn’t want to spill tea all over the bed.”

Then, movement from the door catches my attention and Dylan is standing in the doorway, smiling. “I’d be happy to bring all of the breakfast items here, so all three of us can have breakfast in bed. But I have to leave soon, some of us have a job to get to.” He shrugs, then winks. “There’s a spare key for you on the kitchen counter, so you can always get into this place, together with my number, since I’m pretty sure you don’t have it, as I changed it a few years back.”

Mal stands up. “I’ll go make you some tea.” He slips out of the room, and Dylan steps inside, taking Mal’s place on the bed.

“Did you sleep well?” His voice is low, soft, as he smiles.

I nod. I’ve not slept this long in weeks, if not months. I obviously needed it.

“Good.” He stands up again, taking his shirt off and putting on a button-up. He catches me staring, and grins. “Mal gets me the strangest shirts sometimes, but they’re not acceptable to wear at school, at least not for teachers.”

“Ah.” I don’t know what else to say, as I wasn’t really looking at the shirts, more that I was looking at him... Then I get out of bed too, stretching, and Dylan’s arms wrap around me. It’s a little unexpected, so I tense up, but then relax against him. He’s Dylan, he’s a good guy, he won’t hurt me.

“I’ll make you dinner tonight.” He lets out a low laugh. “Though, I suspect that will turn into dinner for five, knowing the others. And if you need me to bring the suitcases up to your grandma’s house, I’d be happy to do it when I’m back from work.”

I turn around in his arms, looking up at him. “I can drive myself, you know. Grandma had a car, which should still be there, so I can use it. I don’t need you to drive me all over the place.”

“Hmmm.” He thinks for a moment. “I should have asked Tom to check if that thing still works... I’ll message him before I leave. Thanks for reminding me.”

My heart beats louder. Tom... “You talked to Tom?”

He nods, smiling softly. “I mentioned that you were here, and asked him to make sure that the path to your grandma’s house is clear for when you arrive, so you won’t have to fight through all those plants she has when you get there.”

“You shouldn’t have...” I sigh, more upset over Dylan having asked Tom to do something for me than what he asked him to do. I don’t need Tom to start doing things for me, especially not when he’s not in a good place himself. I don’t need to put more pressure on him. “I’m not some princess in distress, really. I can do those things myself.”

“I know.” He looks down, his eyes giving me butterflies in my stomach and then he kisses my forehead, like Mal had done last night. “But we like taking care of you.” Then he lets me go, going back to the living room, leaving me behind with these confusing feelings once again.

Great... Ugh... Like things weren’t complicated enough when we were teens, but with the added layers from the last years, everything has gotten even more complicated. I thought I was over this, over them, but obviously, I’m not, and that’s not fair to them, not at all.

I don’t need to bring them more drama, and it’s quickly starting to look like me being here is doing exactly that.

Double ugh...

The path up to Grandma’s house is slippery from last night’s rain. It’s dry now, but the dirt road up to grandma’s place is full of mud, making my feet slip all over the place.

I totally get why Dylan thought it was a bad idea for me to bring my suitcases up to the house by hand, but he really doesn’t have to coddle me like that... I can do things myself.

I pull my jacket around me tighter as the wind catches it. It may be dry, but it’s still cold, and the wind isn’t helping at all, making me almost freeze, even though I’m wearing a warm sweater with my jacket.

Looking up ahead, this little road serves three houses and my grandma’s place is the last one on it. It’s still a good distance to walk, but Dylan is off to work, in his car, so he can’t drive me, and I just walked Mal to the bus stop, as it seems he forgot some of his things with the band, including important things like his phone, so he’s picking those up first, before joining me at the house.

Which leaves me on my own, slipping around on the path, grumbling under my breath that I should have taken sturdier boots with me for this trip, not that I have any, so it’s a moot point. I just need to keep going up, since that’s where I was going... I can get other boots later.

As I reach the bottom of Grandma’s garden, I stop at the little wooden gate, looking around over the grass and the trees and the plants, my heart hurting and tears springing to my eyes. It feels strange to be here when she isn’t. I feel like she’s going to appear from the vegetable patch at any moment, a tool in one hand and some vegetable in the other hand, greeting me with a big smile.

I gasp at the pain in my chest, at the loss, a high-pitched sound escaping me as I grip the gate tighter. I shouldn’t have done this. I shouldn’t have come here. This was a bad plan. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea, ever, because this is the worst plan I’ve had in a long time. I can’t do this. I have to go back, I can’t be here on my own. I’ll wait for Dylan and Mal before I come here again.

But, as I turn around, I find a guy standing a little off behind me, staring at me, a little girl at his side.

And that’s the moment I slip down and fall on my ass, hard. I don’t know if my legs just gave away out of exhaustion and pain, or if I was standing on a slippery rock or anything, probably a combination of both, but I’m now flat on my ass, on the muddy ground, the cold seeping into my jeans, and Tom is staring at me, his eyes filled with pain and disbelieve.

And to top it off, I start bawling. I don’t know why, but it just starts. Big fat tears down my cheeks, my whole body shaking, my mind going blank.

I’m done, so done.

“I feel so silly.” I’m sitting at the kitchen table in Grandma’s house, a mug with tea in front of me, as Tom is sitting on the opposite chair, his daughter, Elly, who looks exactly like Poppy, is playing in the living room. “It’s the first time in years that we see each other, and that’s how you find me, on my ass, crying.” I stare down at the dark liquid, too mortified to meet his gaze again.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you in worse positions.” There’s a laugh to his voice, like he’s enjoying himself. “I remember a trip to the beach and one of us, you, managing to slip on the last bit of the road down, a path where nobody had ever slipped before, or since, and not only did you rip your dress, the clasp of the top of your bikini also broke, for some strange reason. Gave us all quite the view.”

“Pretty sure it was a view all of you had seen often enough before,” I grumble, but I also can’t help my smile remembering that unfortunate incident.

I hadn’t really slipped on the path, technically. I’d been wearing flipflops, cheap ones, and the strap of one of them broke for some reason, which had my foot slipping out of the thing and me on my back in front of all of them. Luckily, there hadn’t been other people around. “Going back home and having to explain to Grandma what had happened was much worse than tripping in the first place.”

We both fall quiet, until Tom reaches out, taking my hand carefully. “I’m sorry. We all loved her.”

I nod, squeezing his hand back, his touch comforting. “Thanks. I’m also sorry about Poppy.” It’s hard to say her name, especially now I know about their relationship, and I’ve seen their daughter, the little girl the spitting image of her mother, just a lot taller, since Tom is pretty damn tall and Poppy was even shorter than me.

He nods, gripping my hand more, holding it firmer. “Some mornings I still expect her to just be there, standing in the doorway to our bedroom, scolding me for sleeping through my alarm again.”

I don’t know what to reply to that, or how I can comfort him, because I know there’s no way I can take that pain away from him, or even understand it, not really.

“How have you been these last years? Anything important that happened?” The questions seem innocent enough, but there’s an edge to his voice that tells me that there’s more to them.

I look up, my stomach going all in knots, because that look in his eyes... He already knows things, things I may not want him to have known, but without more from him, I have no idea what he actually knows... How much I can tell him without betraying myself...

Fuck. Not yet, please.