Winter (Seasons of Love Series#2)

Chapter 9

HALIK

"Get your hands f*****g out of me—Ouch!" I glared at Summer when she emphatically pressed my scratch. Gaga neto! Masakit na nga, dinagdagan pa.

But I'm too exhausted to get into fight again. Kaya palalagpasin ko siya ngayon. Tutal ginamot niya naman ako.

Arghh! That Yvonne! Ang kapal ng mukha pero mas makapal ang sa Mirabueno na 'yon. How dare him to blame me when he know nothing?! May pabuhat-buhat pa siya sa babaeng 'yon. Akala mo naman napilayan. Pero sana nga pinilayan ko na lang para quits kami since kinalmot niya na ang braso ko.

"Don't ever dare to think of getting revenge, Scythe Winter!" Mariing banta sakin ng kapatid na ikinairap ko.

"I'm not." Iisipin ko pa lang.

At saka tumayo na para maghanda sa pag-alis. Pasimple ko rin siyang pinasalamatan bago siya iwan. Yes, I know how to thank that witch. Isang beses lang sa isang taon ganon.

I wonder how to get back with that couple? Iyong tipong maramdaman din nila ung sakit na nararamdaman ko lalo na ng Aris na 'yon! Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin matanggap na sinisi niya ko. Like what the f**k! Nagkataon lang talaga na naabutan niya ko sa ganong sitwasyon. Hindi ba pwedeng alamin niya muna ang kuwento bago niya ko sisihin? f**k! I hate him! I really hate him!

"It was her."

Liningon ko ung dalawang babae na nagbulungan pagkadaan ko. I arched my brow at them and they dodged my eyes. I scoffed, thinking that they were only good at badmouthing people behind the back. Kapag hinarap mo, biglang mga naputulan ng dila. Mga duwag amp!

So ayon nga, naging usap-usapan ang pag-aaway namin ni Yvonne sa buong Art Department. Syempre ako ung lumabas na masama dahil pang best actress ang drama ng babaeng 'yon. Kahit sina Cindy kumbinsido na ako ang may kasalanan. Kaya ang ilag nila sakin pagkarating at pagkapasok ko sa classroom. Hindi ko na lang pinakialaman. Badtrip din ako at wala sa mood makipag-usap kahit kanino kaya okay lang.

The ambiance of the room were intensified when Aris arrived. He's being cold more than the usual. 'Yung tipong kahit sina Kyle walang magawa kundi ang manahimik. Napasinghap na lang ako sa sobrang iritasyon dahil siya pa?! Siya pa talaga ang may ganang magalit?! Ako ang naagrabyado rito kaya anong karapatan niyang magalit d'yan?! Kingina! Hinahigh blood ako!

"Yvonne is being considerate. You are Aris' friend so she didn't go to disciplinary office to file a complaint."

"Should I feel grateful then?" I asked back. Darius bit his lower lip and barely rubbed his nape.

"I'm just saying that you should say sorry to her. Para tapos na ang away niyo ni Aris."

"Why would I say sorry when I'm the one who deserves it? Yeah, sabihin na natin na may kasalanan ako but mainly, it's all her fault. She's the one who started the fight. I'm just defending myself."

And hesitation crept into Darius' set of eyes. It made me miserably inferior.

"Why did I bother to explained myself when no one believes me?" I smiled with a sneer. I couldn't help. I'm too exhausted with her bullshit the whole day and now, even Darius was taken away from me. Nakakairita na! "Just leave me alone. Go to your cousin and be the second stupid man who believes on that liar."

Then I turned my back and walked away. Too upset to listen to those people I called 'friends'. Sa sobrang transparent ko sa kanila, inaakala nilang kilala na nila ako ng lubusan. Hindi nila alam na mali ang pagkakakilala nila sakin and... it's quite disappointing! It's funny how easy for people to judge you just because you're capable to do that wrongdoing. Ni hindi man lang muna nila alamin ang kuwento bago magkomento ng kung ano-ano.

"I already warned you but you didn't listen. Look what happened! You're a complete mess."

Napalingon ako kay Yvonne. Nadatnan ko siyang nakatayo na sa gilid ko, suot ang mabait niyang ngiti. Hindi ko mapigilang ngumisi ng sarkastiko lalo na't mapansin na nasa amin ang atensyon ng iilang estudyante sa paligid.

"That's because you acted well. Why don't you try auditioning? I can refer you to my friend who works in GMP."

"No thanks. I don't need any help especially from you. And..." she looked at me, derision shadowed her pair of eyes. "I'm already in peak. Having a boyfriend that always take my side is just... just a great thing."

"He only take your side because you lied—"

"No! No." Iling niya. "He take my side before I could spat out anything. You know that."

My hand formed into fist as anger penetrates on my system. I tried to maintain my unaffected posture but all my efforts were put in vain. It drives me mad about how easy for her to get on my nerves.

"He trusted me more than he do to you. That's the truth."

Gusto kong punitin ang labi niya para hindi na siya makangiti ng ganito sakin pero hindi ko magawa. Masyadong maraming tao. Mamaya ako na naman ang lalabas na masama. Kaya nagpasya akong humakbang paatras at talikuran siya.

That's right, Winter! Don't lose your control. Ikaw lang itong mapapasama lalo kapag pinatulan mo ulit siya. Let's think of the way that can assure your victory.

But then, things always not ended in the way we want.

"Ano ba—" Dahil sa gulat sa biglaan niyang paghila, nawaksi ko ang kamay niya na s'yang dahilan para matumba siya. Or maybe she purposely exaggerated everything? Seeing Aris rushing himself just to help her. She surely planned it.

"What do you think you're doing, Arguelles?!" He shouted angrily. It made my mouth swung open in disbelief.

"What do you think?" I asked back with arched brow. "Didn't you see? I pushed her."

His jaw clenched in annoyance. "And you're proud of it huh!"

Umirap ako saka tinagilid ang aking ulo palayo sa kanila.

"Babe, stop it. It's not her fault."

Binalingan ni Aris ang girlfriend na nakakapit sa kanyang siko para pigilan siya. Ganon din ako. Napabalik din ang tingin ko sa kanila. Napasinghap na lamang habang pinapanuod ang pagkukunware ni Yvonne.

"What? Are you going to forgive her again? Kaya 'yan nasasanay dahil sa katulad mo. You spoiled her." And he looked at me with mockery. "The reason why she thinks, the world just rotates around her."

Heat boiled within me. Nagsimula na rin mamuo ang luha sa aking mata kaya kahit galit na ko, hindi pa rin ako nagsasalita. I can't afford to break down in front of them... of him. Pride na lang ang meron ako.

"Aris, that's enough." Achilles meddled.

"Enough?" He sneered. "Why? Is she hurting? Wow! I don't know that her feelings were only valid here huh!"

He shook his head while smiling sarcastically. My hand formed into fist. I was hurt and any moment, I might fell. My anger is the only thing that keeps me from standing straight. At bakit hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin ako umiiyak.

"That's not what I mean. We're already creating a commotion. We should stop here."

I interrupted Achilles. Hindi na pinansin ang pagtikhim at pagbaling niya sakin, bakas sa mukha ang hindi pagsang-ayon. "Why would I hurt for something surreal?" Then I crossed my arms and smiled in ironic manner. "I never thought that this world is mine. I don't know where did you get that idea but stop being silly. Yeah! You might be right in part that my feelings were only valid here. After all, I'm the one who's being dragged by your dramatic relationship. I deserve an apology."

"And she didn't? You should learn to reflect what wrong you've done before demanding an apology."

"There's nothing to reflect because I never did wrong. You're just fool who thinks that you knew the whole story when in fact, you only saw one page of the book."

"You're too much! I can always forgive you for doing bad to me but not to my boyfriend. I can't let this slide!" At akma akong susugurin ni Yvonne nang humarang sa kanya si gago. Halos matawa ako sa ideyang pang telenovela ang ganap nila. 'Yung tipong dinidepensahan nila ang isa't isa. Ako pa ang ginawang kontrabida tss!

"Why just f**k each other?" I spat carelessly, annoyed for unknown reason.

"Because she's not like you."

"What?!" I almost lose my voice upon seeing what shadowed his pair of cold eyes. Hindi man siya magsalita pero alam na alam ko kung ano ang ibig niyang sabihin. Kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng tingin na 'yon. And it f*****g caught me off guard! I didn't expect that he would attack me this way. Hindi man direkta pero masakit pa rin.

Tangina! Tatawagin niya talaga akong ganon para lang ipagtanggol ang babaeng 'yan?! I thought, he was decent no matter how angry he was but I was wrong. Yeah! I know too that I crossed the line yet he don't need to do it. That was... that was f*****g infuriating!

"Winter! Hello!"

Napaangat ako ng tingin kay Rain. Nadatnan ko siyang kinakaway ang kamay niya sa aking harapan. And realization hits me. I shifted my weight as I completely focus my attention to her.

"Why?"

"Is there something that bothers you? Kanina ka pa d’yan tulala."

Mabilis akong umiling. "Wala naman. Pagod lang siguro ako."

"You should rest then. Ilang araw ka na rin puyat sa mga plates mo. You were also nowhere to be seen when it weekends."

Kasabay ng pag-inat ko, ang paghikab ko.

"You know, I need to practice for my incoming competition. Nadagdagan din ang timbang ko nitong mga nakaraang linggo kaya medyo mapurol ang kilos ko." At saka tumayo na ko.

"Akyat na ko. Good night."

Tumungo siya at ngumiti. "Good night!"

But of course, hindi naman ako diretso tulog after kong pumasok ng kwarto ko. Nag-take pa ko ng shower at pahapyaw na nagcheck sa mga mensahe sa email at social media accounts ko. Darius even invited me to a birthday party of his friend but I refused. Siguradong kasama niya ang lalaking ‘yon kaya wag na. Hindi rin naman ako mag-ienjoy.

Kinaumagahan ko na nakita ung ganap nila sa party. Sa IG at f*******: niya. Pero sana hindi ko na lang tinignan. Nainggit lang tuloy ako lalo na’t hindi na ko nakakapagparty. Medyo abala na kasi ako sa pagpapractice. I’m also under a balanced diet. So even I want to eat as much as I can, I’m not allowed anymore. Baka bigla pang bumyahe si Olivia papunta rito para lang kurutin ako sa singit.

Iniisip na nga nina Cindy na nadidepressed na ko dahil sa away namin ng Mirabueno na ‘yon. Ilang beses ko ng pinaliwanag na hindi lang talaga ako kumakain dahil on-diet ako at kaya hindi ako nakakasama sa hang out nila ay dahil busy ako sa paghahanda sa competition ko. Ayaw naman nila maniwala. As if naman na mahal ko ang lalaking ‘yon para maging miserable ako kapag nag-away kami. Duh! Asa siya! I can live without talking to him 'no!

"You seem distracted."

Tinanggap ko ang inabot ni Louis na inumin. Kasabay ng pagbukas at pag-inom ko rito, ang bahagyang pagsunod ng aking mata sa kanya. Naupo siya sa tabi ko habang binubuksan ang kanyang bottled water. Pinanuod ko ang pag-inom niya at kung paano gumagalaw ang Adam’s apple niya sa bawat paglunok niya.

Okay! Don’t get me wrong! He was my dance partner. He’s not my type or maybe the fact that he was bisexual, he didn’t attract me at all. Kahit gwapo pa siya at mas makinis pa sakin, wala talaga akong nararamdamang attraction unang beses kong kita sa kanya. Though he was cool and kind. Maganda rin siya kabonding.

"Was I?"

"Yup. Nag-away kayo ng boyfriend mo?"

Natawa ako. "Bakit? Mukha ba kong problemado?"

"Nope. Parang wala ka lang sa sarili."

I pout my lips and barely fixed my sitting position.

"I'm sure, you know that we're not allowed to dance when we're mentally unstable."

"Yeah! I'm sorry."

"If you're truly sorry then let's go. There's a new restaurant around the corner. I'll treat you."

"Whoa! You know that I'm on diet right?"

He nodded and stand up. "Don't worry, they offer light meal."

Pagkapagpag niya ng kanyang pants, inabot niya sakin ang kamay niya. Kinuha ko naman iyon at nagpahila sa kanya para makatayo. Pagkatapos sumunod na ko sa kanya sa paglabas. Syempre libre niya na, aarte pa ba ko?

Katulad nga ng sinabi ni Louis, malapit lang ung restaurant na pinuntahan namin. Mga ten minutes lang namin nilakad. The interior design was good even it's not that spacious. Hindi rin ganon kapormal kaya okay lang kahit nakasuot lang ako ng jogging pants at racer back. Although most of the customers were wearing casual clothes, we still fit in. Hindi weird tignan since restaurant itself were casual.

Hindi naman kami nagtagal roon lalo na't vege salad lang ang kinain namin ng gabing 'yon. Balik kami sa dance studio, practice ng ilang ulit pagkatapos ay nagpasyang umuwi na pagpatak ng alas syete ng gabi. I also take a break the day after, which is Sunday. Naguguluhan na rin kasi ang body clock ko sa pagiging busy ko bigla.

"Kaya ka pala busy ah." Paniningkit sakin ni Cindy, Lunes ng umaga. Kakarating at kakapasok ko lang sa classroom at ito na agad ang binungad niya sakin. Kasabay ng pag-upo ko sa tabi niya, ang s’yang pagtaas ng kaliwang kilay ko.

"Ilang beses ko ng sinabi sa inyo. Mayroon akong pinaghahandaang competition."

"Oh come on! You don’t need to make excuses." Sabat niya. Kumunot ang noo ko.

"I’m not. Why would I?"

Ngumiti siya na mas lalong ikinagulo ng utak ko.

"Muntikan na kong maniwala na may something sa inyo ni Aris but then, there’s no way you would like him. He’s far different from the standards of the guys you were dated."

"What? What are you talking about?"

Hindi ko alam kung hindi ba halata sa mukha ko ang kawalan ng pasensya para hindi ako tatruhin ng kausap ng seryoso. Kanina niya pa kasi ako tinitignan ng nakakaloko. She didn’t even bother to answer me. Panay tukso lang ang ginawa niya sakin. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang sinasabi niya.

"Two days ago, Maddie saw you with a guy. Looks like you two were on a date so she assumed that he’s your boyfriend. She told us about it during our groupings."

Laking pasasalamat ko na nand’yan si Lily para mag-explain. ‘Yon nga lang ay ikinairita ko ang narinig. Hindi ko mapigilang suminghap ng marahas.

"Bakit ba lagi na lang iniisip ng lahat na kapag may kasama akong lalaki, dinidate ko na agad? Hindi ba pwedeng kaibigan lang?"

"So you’re not dating him? Hindi mo siya boyfriend?"

"You all were same. You easily believe rumors and jump into conclusions without knowing the whole story." Iling ko saka tumayo at nagmartsa palabas. Bahagya ko pang nakasalubong si Aris na kakapasok lang ng classroom pero nilagpasan ko lang siya at nagkunwaring hindi ko siya nakita.

I still have ten minutes before the class start so I decided to go to restroom. Magpapalipas lang ng oras. Hindi rin naman kasi pwede sa hallway dahil maraming nadaang estudyante. Makita ko pa ang babaeng ‘yon, baka hindi na ko makapagpigil.

Ilang araw na nga ba simula ng nag-away kami? May isang linggo na rin atang hindi kami nagpapansinan ni Aris. Baka nga napansin na rin ni Rain na may problema kami lalo na’t madalas na kong sumama sa kanila ni Era sa paglalunch. Hindi niya pa kasi alam na nasa gulo ako. I can’t tell it to her because it will only harm her. And I won’t allow it.

"Pumunta pa siya rito."

Napasulyap ako kay Margot nang bumulong-bulong siya sa gilid. Nadatnan ko siyang salubong ang kilay habang nakatingin sa pintuan ng classroom. Nung nalaman ko kung sino ang tinitignan niya, hindi ko na pinatagal ang pagtitig do’n.

Maya-maya ay dumaan sa harap namin si Aris para puntahan ang nag-aantay sa kanya. Hindi ko mapigilang sundan siya ng malamig na tingin. Kahit pa nung nakaalis na sila, nananatiling nasa pintuan ang dalawa kong mata. Kung hindi pa nagvibrate ang phone ko dahil sa pagtawag ni Ms. Raquel, hindi siguro ako maalis sa pagkatulala.

Although the call brought bad news. The competition got cancel and it upset me to the core. I already spent week, my efforts, in practicing. It infuriates me that all of it ended on nothing. Halos mapasabunot ako sa aking buhok habang nakaupo sa bench. Ito ang ayaw ko sa lahat. ‘Yung lahat ng pinaghirapan mo, mapupunta lang sa wala. Nakakainis! Mapapaiyak ka na lang talaga sa sobrang inis!

"Hennessy please!"

I don’t know how many glass did I drink but I’m still sober. I still know what’s happening around. Neon lights, loud but good music, party people. I want to get drunk and hoping that I’m no longer upset tomorrow. I know that it’s brave of me to go here alone. As if nothing bad will happen to me once I lose my conscious. But I don’t care anymore! I was freaking disappointed and I want it to disappear. This is my way of coping. Being alone with glass of hard liquor on my grip. I just want to feel better. Is that wrong?

"Hey miss! You alone?"

Tiningala ko ung nagsalita at napag-alaman kong hindi ko siya kilala o pamilyar man lang sakin. He was complete stranger and I can say that he’s kinda good looking. The problem is he got wrong timing. I don’t want to talk with someone else tonight so I turned him down without any bit of hesitation. But he keeps hitting on me. I can’t believe that he persistently talk to me despite the fact that I was silent the whole time.

Not until he asked me to dance with him. I don’t know what got me to agree. Siguro dahil nakukulitan na ko o dahil tinamaan na ko ng alak? Hindi ako sigurado. Basta ang alam ko nagsayaw kami ayon sa ritmo ng kanta hanggang sa kalauna’y naging agresibo siya. Panay ang dikit niya sa likod ko, hinahaplos ang baywang at balikat ko. Hindi ako naging komportable sa ginagawa niyang iyon kaya lumalayo ako subalit sinusundan niya ko.

He held my wrist. That’s what I thought at first. ‘Na siya iyon kaya hinarap ko siya para sana sigawan. But my mouth were left hang open and no words came from it when I found out that it wasn’t him. Naguguluhan pang nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanya at sa lalaking hila-hila ang palapulsuhan ko.

Ilang sandali lang ay nakalabas kami sa nag-uumpukang mga tao. And thankfully, I was able to snap myself. Mabilis kong binawi ang kamay ko sa kanya na s’yang dahilan para mapahinto siya sa paglalakad at para mapaharap sakin.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I asked angrily.

He stared at me and sighed. It puts me into confusion because he’s acting different. He looked soft and patience… apologetic. O dahil lasing na talaga ako kaya kung ano-ano na ang nakikita ko?

Umismid ako kasabay ng pagpasada ko ng aking mga daliri sa buhok ko. I also bit my lower lip and about to take a step when he remove his windbreaker and wrap it around my body. It feels warmth but I ignored it. Imbes napatikhim ako ng sarkastiko. Ito na naman kasi siya! Tangina lang! Anong akala niya sakin? Madadala sa mga paganito niya?

"What kind of bullshit this time—"

"Sorry."

"What?" Bigla akong nabingi dahil hindi ako sigurado kung tama pa ba ang naririnig ko. But then, realization hits me. I crossed my arms and sneered. "So you already caught her?"

Hindi siya nagsalita kaya mas lalo lang nito nakompirma na tama nga ang hinala ko.

"I lose then. I thought, you gonna be fooled for a month. Such a klutz. She’s just good at acting but not with hiding."

At akma na kong aalis nang pinigilan niya ko.

"Winter—"

"Don’t worry, I don’t hold grudge."

"I know."

That caught me off guard. My lips almost parted in disbelief. Hindi ako makapaniwalang nakuha niya pang maging confident sa kabila ng lahat ng sinabi niya sakin. As if he’s holding a smoking gun towards me.

"You know that I’m just lying?"

"No. I truly know you won’t hold grudge towards me."

Tumaas ang kanang kilay ko kasabay ng tuluyang pagharap ko sa kanya. I stared at him, trying to read what’s going on inside his head. Never once that smug look on his eyes had disappeared. Hindi ko maiwasang magtanong kung ano ang pinagmamalaki ng isang ito.

"How?"

He didn’t answer. He stared back at me instead. Baka nga may mabubuo na kaming sparks kung matalim lang talaga ang tingin namin sa isa’t isa. But not… I was looking at him, confused, while he seemed fascinated. Sobrang lalim ng titig niya sakin. Para akong malulunod.

"How can you sound so sure?" Tanong ko ulit at para na rin makalanghap ng hangin. Ngunit bago ko pa ‘yon magawa, tuluyan niya ng kinuha ang hininga ko nang siniil niya ko ng halik.

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