LOVE WITHOUT MEETING

By: Love Pen Have you ever fallen in love with someone you never met. That is not someone who is invisible, yes, he is also human just like us. Maybe in your opinion those who are motivated by the saying that "love comes from the eyes down to the heart" will surely wonder, how is it possible to fall in love without looking at or seeing the person you love? But it did happen to me, and maybe many people also feel it. It's the same when we love our God, whom we never even see, but our hearts love him so much. This is what makes me say that love exists or is present when we feel calm or comfortable about something. Writing this reminds me of my past when I was still in high school. At that time I met a man named Shabbir on social media. After I sent a friend sign from him on f*******:, he immediately sent a message containing an offer to be friends with me. I think this is a bit funny, because as long as I'm in the world of social media, this is the first time I've received a message that I think is a bit funny, which made me interested in it. Usually other people make small talk first asking their name, address, status, etc. before making friends, but this is to the point asking friends. That's what made me curious about his figure. So with that I accepted his offer with a reply of approval. From there, we started asking questions about introducing ourselves to each other. Day after day passed, the deeper I got to know him the more the seeds of comfort grew in my heart. It's like finding the friend that I've been hoping for all this time, who always reminds me to be close to my God. He has guided me to step out of the dark room that locked my heart to the true light of serenity. It felt like I had found my purpose in life, which was to be close to God, that's why I started to keep myself busy with religious activities. When I got to know my religion deeper, I was more afraid to get close to it, because in my religion there are restrictions on the relationship between men and women. That's what made me choose to unilaterally cut ties with him. Even though we already stated that we like each other. At that time I also doubted and wondered, how could he like me without seeing me? I never post pictures of him on social media, nor does he ever ask me to send pictures of myself. One thing I know, that I really like him, even though I've never seen his figure. I just found out about Shabir from my confidant friend, Ranti. The story goes that at that time there was a SMK fanfare, coincidentally my friend Ranti went to SMK and Shabbir also attended SMK. Gebyar SMK is a kind of competition and exhibition activity between SMKs in the district. We do live in the same district, but the distance between our villages is very far. I once asked about Shabbir's favorite film, he said he really liked the film When Cinta Bertasbih so much that he bought the novel. I told him that I was very interested in wanting to read his novel. He promised me he would gift the novel to me. At the event, Shabbir kept his promise, he handed over the novel to Ranti to present it to me When he met me, Ranti described Shabir as a handsome man, white skin, narrow eyes because he was of Chinese descent, besides that his appearance was also simple. Ranti thought Shabir was like a pious man in general who wore a robe or skullcap, but in reality Shabir was just a simple man, his appearance was the same as that of young people in general. Besides that Shabir is also friendly and humorous. I'm pleased to hear it. But my heart became pessimistic. I became insecure with myself having brown skin, I felt he would be disappointed when he actually met me later, when fate allowed us to meet. Day after day passed since I cut off communication with him, the more days passed the deeper my longing, but I tried and was patient to hold back my lust. I plan to meet him during the study tour on December 18 2016 and I am ready to accept his assessment of me. On November 18 2016, it was drizzling that afternoon as if it wanted to convey a message to me, for some reason today my heart feels frantic, even though I'm not having a serious problem. I tried to calm myself by saying God's words, the more I said them the calmer my heart became. Towards evening, the atmosphere started to get better, the drizzle had gone, suddenly someone came to my house and shouted my name, and it turned out that Ranti had come. I saw Ranti as if she was in a hurry to convey something to me. Yes, it's true he delivered a message that I don't want to hear and didn't want to expect. The message that made my body suddenly stiffen and feel crashing. "Shabbir died this afternoon due to a collision," said Ranti in a trembling tone 'daaaar…' it felt like thunder that came when there was no rain. That makes my heart pound fast and suffocating. I try to be strong in front of my best friend, but actually I'm very fragile like falling glass cups. After Ranti said goodbye, I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. I drifted away in my tears, in my prayers I always said his name, asking God to put him in the best place by His side. I knew that God missed him more than mine so he brought Shabbir to his side and not mine. I have never hated anything from God's destiny, because He knows better the best way for each of His servants. Even though in the world we have never met, I am very proud and happy, because Shabir has been present to decorate my days and leave the most beautiful impressions of my past. May you be happy in your new world my friend Shabir. Before leaving Shabir, advised me not to leave worship no matter how busy I was, he said "take time for worship, don't worship when you have time". Through Ranti, he also sent greetings to me and told me to keep the spirit of studying religion. After he left, when I missed him, I would read the novel When Cinta Bertasbih gave him and also listen to his favorite song "fatwa poet". The lyrics really represent our story of only sending messages but never meeting. "But dear... dear dear 1000 times dear... where do I address my treatise". Yep, my treatise is now unaddressed. He had gone to his new world. Only through him can I convey the message of my longing for him. Even though we don't meet in the world, hopefully later we will meet in heaven as brothers in faith who remind each other of virtue and kindness in being patient and sincere. I will always remember you Shabir.