I forgot my reason for suicide

first encounter

When Qian Xiaodao showed up at school with a bruised nose and a swollen face, an unknown fire rose in my heart.

"Did you go to see Hua Shan?" I asked with a straight face.

"Hua Shan?" Qian Xiaodao looked at me with swollen eyes, "You call him Hua Shan?"

I continued to ask: "Is it true that he beat you up like this?"

Qian Xiaodao didn't say a word, and went to the classroom on his own, and then no matter what I said, he just stared at the book in his hand and ignored it.

"Hey, it's a big deal and I apologize to you on his behalf!" I said.

"..."

"That's how he is. If he can't talk to each other in three sentences, he starts to fight. Apart from being a little impulsive, he is actually a good person."

Qian Xiaodao suddenly put down the book in his hand: "Besides acting impulsively, using you as a cash machine, and robbing your girlfriend, he is actually a pretty good person, isn't he?"

I froze.

At this time, the classroom door was pushed open vigorously, and Murong Quan walked in hurriedly, took out a rice ball from his schoolbag and threw it at Qian Xiaodao: "This is the rice ball made by my mother. I can't finish it all by myself. Here's one for you!"

"Thank you!" Qian Xiaodao smirked at Murong Quan as if he had received a great gift from heaven. Sure enough, no matter how bad the mood is, as long as the girl I like appears, I will be energetic.

"Does your injury still hurt?" Murong Quan stared at the injury on Qian Xiaodao's face.

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

"I was scared to death yesterday," Murong Quan pouted, and then laughed again, "But you finally look like a man. After that Chen Huashan was hit by you with a wine bottle, he didn't even dare to fart!"

"You actually smashed Huashan with a wine bottle!?" I called out, "Is he alright!?"

Qian Xiaodao, who had been silently gnawing on the rice ball with his head down, suddenly stopped, and his hand holding the rice ball became tighter and tighter, crushing the whole rice ball into scum.

"Qian Xiaodao! What are you doing!" Murong Quan struck Qian Xiaodao's head with a palm, "This is a rice ball made by me!"...Didn't your mother do it?

By the way, how did you meet Senior Jiang Yang? Your relationship seems to be going well. What kind of person is he? "Murong Quan looked at Qian Xiaodao expectantly.

Qian Xiaodao glanced at me, obviously not knowing how to answer this question.

At the critical moment, I still need to step in.

"Answer as I said." I coughed and said, "Jiang Yang, he is a real man with loyalty, kindness, generosity, and courage."

"Jiang Yang is a fool." Qian Xiaodao said.

"Who the hell are you calling a fool!?" Murong Quan yelled in unison with me.

Qian Xiaodao raised his head, and his eyes behind the lens were staring at me: "He is a fool who knows that his friends hate him, but still tries his best to save the friendship."

The class bell rang.

Qian Xiaodao stopped looking at me, sat up straight and looked towards the podium.

A middle-aged man as thin as a bamboo pole.

The man narrowed his narrow eyes slightly, scanned the people sitting in the classroom, and finally set his eyes on Qian Xiaodao, paused for a few seconds, and quickly looked away.

"Your homeroom teacher is sick and going home to recuperate. From today onwards, I will be your acting homeroom teacher and take you to sprint for the final exam. I hope that everyone can get along in harmony in the future." The man spoke with a serious look, and he looked even louder than the loud aunt before. harsh.

He turned around and wrote the word "Li" on the blackboard, and continued: "My surname is Li."

I immediately decided to call him Slender Li from now on.

Li Shouzi seemed to fall in love with Qian Xiaodao at first sight, always staring at him thoughtfully, his eyes clearly harboring malicious intentions, and even hooked his hands at him after class: "You, come to the office with me."

I made up countless forbidden scenes in my brain, and the more I thought about it, the more I shuddered, and I quickly followed.

"What's the matter with the injury on your face?" Slender Li asked first after entering the office.

"Accidentally fell." Qian Xiaodao lied without blushing.

His skin is getting thicker and thicker.

"Have you always encountered some unlucky things recently?" Fatty Li's shrewd little eyes stared straight at Qian Xiaodao, which made me very uncomfortable.

Isn't this kid always unlucky?

Without waiting for Qian Xiaodao's answer, Slender Li approached Qian Xiaodao, almost close to his ear, and whispered pretending to be mysterious: "Student, you seem to be entangled by something unclean."

I stayed where I was, a little unsteady.

Qian Xiaodao also looked shocked.

"I just happen to have a little research on this aspect." Slender Li turned around and sat down, and took a sip of tea, "I just saw you in the classroom for the first time, and I thought you were very yin, your body was dark, and you were weak. This is a typical ghost upper body. Judging from your reaction just now, you should understand what you are being entangled with, right?"

"Teacher, are you kidding me?" Qian Xiaodao forced a smile.

"Student, I advise you to better not be obsessed. A dead person is a dead person. No matter how good he was with you before he was alive, once he dies, he will never be him again. Maybe at first he will try to win your sympathy pitifully, but Over time, your vitality will be slowly absorbed by him, thereby speeding up your death, even if he doesn't want to harm you, but people and ghosts have different ways, once he gets close, he will surely die." Slender Li looked around and said, "I I feel it, that thing is in this office now."

"Nothing!" Qian Xiaodao suddenly stood in front of me, his voice trembling, "Nothing!"

Slender Li laughed: "Look, you exposed yourself."

He stood up, pushed aside Qian Xiaodao who blocked me behind, and stood in front of me condescendingly, his eyes seemed to meet mine: "Although I can't see him, I can feel him. But wherever he is It must be chilly and haunting."

"Although I'm just your acting class teacher, I must be responsible to every student in the class. I will never allow unclean things to pester my students." Slender Li patted Qian Xiaodao on the shoulder, like a kind elder , "So, I will definitely drive him away. Let him ascend to heaven as soon as possible."

Even though my heart had stopped beating, I still felt short of breath, as if a huge monster was enveloping me, ready to devour me in one fell swoop. I backed up again and again, staggering out of the office.

I couldn't find Jiang Yang no matter what.

The library, the equipment room, the playground, the cafeteria, I've searched everywhere, but I can't see him.

I ran into every classroom to look for it, and I was stared at with strange eyes without knowing it. I even broke into the girls' dormitory, but the auntie grabbed my collar and threw me out.

I always thought that he would always be by my side, and the school that was once regarded as hell became full of light because of his existence. I've gotten used to seeing him standing not far away, with his hands in his pockets, smiling at me with slightly curled lips, whenever I step into the school gate. As long as he is there, no matter how others bully me or deliberately punish me, I will not be afraid. Because I know he will be with me.

I've been purposely ignoring the fact that he's dead.

Obviously it was hard to make friends.

He taught me how to play basketball, taught me to resist, and taught me what courage is.

Why is it already dead?

Why didn't I meet him sooner while he was alive.

Even if we really want to break up, I don't want my last words to him to be "Jiang Yang is a fool".

In fact, we are all fools.

Even if Murong Quan locks me in the equipment room all night, throws my schoolbag into the toilet, and splashes water on my face, I still believe that as long as I rely on my sincerity, she will one day be moved and show it to me. Sincere smile.

Jiang Yang thought so too. As long as he perseveres, Chen Huashan will one day be moved by him, he will alleviate his resentment towards him, and will continue to be his good buddy sincerely.

But in the world, the most fickle thing is the human heart, and the most difficult thing to change is also the human heart.

Although Murong Quan has gotten closer to me these days because of Jiang Yang's relationship, when others jokingly asked her if she was dating me, she still showed disgust and said, "How could I be with that trash?" Contact!"

Although Jiang Yang felt guilty and responded to Chen Huashan's every request, when he was in trouble, Chen Huashan's first thought was not to help him tide over the difficulty, but to add fuel to the fire, deliberately kissing Yuan Li's lips in front of him.

So, we are all fools, Jiang Yang.

"Qian Xiaodao, what are you wandering around in the playground during class time?" Murong Quan, as the class monitor, came to arrest me and bring me back to the classroom on the order of Teacher Li.

I stood in the sun, and big drops of sweat came out of my face and slid to the ground.

"It's so hot today, come back to the classroom with me." Murong Quan walked towards the teaching building by himself.

"I want to find him." I stood still.

"Who are you looking for?" Murong Quan stared at me dissatisfied when he saw that I didn't follow her.

who?

I looked up to the top floor of the teaching building, and finally saw that familiar figure.

He was standing on the top floor, far away from me, but I could still tell it was him at a glance.

Regardless of Murong Quan's yelling behind me, I ran towards the teaching building without looking back.

What are you doing here? "Jiang Yang looked at me who ran to the top floor out of breath, and frowned slightly, "Aren't you afraid of being killed by me? "

"I'm afraid, I'm terribly afraid." I approached him step by step, and stood half a meter away from him, "But I'm more afraid of losing you as a friend than death."

"You're filming an idol drama?" Jiang Yang sneered, "Didn't Fatty Li warn you not to get too close to ghosts? Even if you were on good terms with that person in life, you will still turn into a ghost to harm you after death. Besides, I Don't know him at all."

"This is where we first met." I smiled at him, "You have forgotten your memory before suicide, so you must not remember."

Jiang Yang's smile froze on his face.

That day my schoolbag was thrown into the toilet by Murong Quan. The test papers and books were all soaked in water. Without the books, I couldn’t attend class. The teacher didn’t allow me to enter the classroom. I climbed to the top floor to dry the wet books. While waiting for the books to dry, I lay on the fence and stared at the sky in a daze. Until a hand suddenly reached out and patted my shoulder, and said to me, boy, is there anything you can't think about? "

That person is Jiang Yang.

I still clearly remember the touch of his palm on my shoulder.

That was the first time he touched me, and the last time.

He looked serious, as if he thought I was going to commit suicide by jumping off a building. I scratched my head in embarrassment and told him the whole story.

Jiang Yang breathed a sigh of relief, stopped talking to me, lit a cigarette and started smoking.

——Smoking is bad for your health.

I have been holding this sentence in my heart for a long time, but I still can't muster the courage to say it.

Until Jiang Yang bumped me with his elbow and handed me the cigarette case: "One?"

"Smoking is bad for your health!" I blurted out.

Jiang Yang sneered, the breeze blew his hair, and the faint smell of tobacco floated into my nose.

He looked at the sky, and I looked at him, and I heard him whisper, "No matter what happens, don't kill yourself."

That's when I thought he was talking to me.

I thought he was persuading me.

Little did he know that he was actually talking to himself.

The books dried quickly, I tidied up the books, and before I left, I picked up the cigarette butt he threw on the ground, and said to his back: "Goodbye."

He didn't say anything, let alone look back at me.

I walked very slowly, and when I reached the bottom of the building, a familiar figure fell heavily under my feet.

Blood splashed on my shoes, freshly dried books and test papers spilled all over the floor, and one fell on Jiang Yang's face, which was quickly soaked in blood.

In the palm of my hand, I was still holding the cigarette butt tightly.

I would rather believe that he accidentally fell while sitting on the fence smoking a cigarette, and I would rather believe that someone pushed him from behind.

"I begged Teacher Li, and he promised me that as long as you don't come into our classroom, he won't bother you." I said, "I will use my spare time to continue investigating the cause of your suicide. So don't give up on yourself, okay? "

Even if it is destined to be separated, even if he really wants to ascend to heaven, it should be after I help him find out the reason for suicide, instead of being driven away by Teacher Li who appeared out of nowhere.

The breeze blew by, and Jiang Yang's hair and shirt remained motionless.

He smiled helplessly: "I was really entangled by you."