It’s always been you

Chapter #3

My father came home super late to the party. I could tell how relieved he was that my mother had already spilled all of the tea.

This is the way it has always been. My mother had always been the more dominant in their relationship and usually called all of the shots. They were a perfect example of what I didn’t want from life… or a man.

I’m pretty sure my father and Elias had been a lot closer before he met my mother. I wondered what Elias really thought of him now and I wanted to ask him one day. I had a feeling he would be honest with me.

Dinner was… very challenging to say the least. I couldn’t stop looking at Elias and mother did most of the talking. Afterwards my dad and Elias spent some time alone in my dads study. I immediately retreated to my room to take a shower and get into some comfy pajamas.

Knowing that Elias would be in the room right next to me had me being more careful not to be as loud doing anything. I know he accepted me for me and I was a pretty normal girl but Elias was still Elias. I still didn’t want to bother him or do anything to make him feel uncomfortable.

The man I had loved for as long as I could remember. The main star in every single one of my very vivid dreams. What would it be like every day? What if I accidentally saw him naked somehow… I’m not sure how I’d react or play it off that it was no big deal.

Suppressing these feelings would get easier, right? Practice makes perfect right?

I really hoped that it would get easier quickly because my parents were leaving in the morning. That’s right. They were going to leave the day after dropping this information on me whether I felt okay with it or not.

Laying in bed trying to sleep on a Friday night, at eight o’clock was impossible. Especially with everything that had just happened. Life is changing so quickly for me right now. I have no choice and even my opinion is unwarranted.

Elias being in my house though... Thinking about the way he looked at me earlier and touched my chin… seeing him in the bathroom… Those were the most dominant thoughts among them all. So I closed my eyes and let my brain do what it wanted with those thoughts alone.

I don’t remember falling asleep but I did. The sunlight coming through my blinds told me it was morning and I sat up quickly realizing that I would be alone with Elias.

My parents wanted to leave at four am. It was just the two of us now. I wondered if he was up yet… it was Saturday so I never set an alarm. Maybe he was working on his computer in the den. My dad said to use the house like it was his own and I knew Elias would.

Again I was quiet as I got myself ready for the day. My nerves were on edge once again as well, knowing I would come face to face with him soon. For a moment I almost wished he had stuff to do outside of the house so I could get a reprieve.

I was incredibly self conscious of what to wear. I was a casual dresser and I loved my jeans. I went with a light blue and a white shirt, leaving my long honey blonde hair down in simple, light waves. I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard either. Elias knew me too well. I had never changed myself around him.

I was still hoping that with time, I would just get used to being around him again. Used to keeping my feelings below the surface without my little nervous slips.

As soon as I reached the top of the stairs just outside of my room I could hear his voice. He was on the phone talking very… heatedly to someone.

At first his voice was really muffled and when I realized he was pacing from the kitchen to the living room I moved back a little so he wouldn’t see me. I wanted to listen because I had never heard him take this tone with anyone before.

“She’s eighteen! It doesn’t matter!” My heart skipped a beat. The first audible thing I could make out from the conversation and it led me to believe the conversation he was having was about me. I strained hard to listen because as quickly as he had walked into ear range he was out of it again, muffled.

Still I didn’t move and once again he paced back into the living room. “And it’s none of their business. Whatever happens, it’s between the two of us.” Again he paced and I closed my eyes in frustration. What in the world was this conversation really about!?

“I’ve waited long enough, Ennis.” His brother. He was talking to his older brother, Ennis. I had met him only a handful of times and he was incredibly intimidating. He worked for some military, special ops unit and was the most buff, mean looking human I had ever seen. Elias looked up to him a great deal and always leaned on him for support. I suppose that’s what he was doing now… but I didn’t know the reason.

The Quinn brothers were both incredibly handsome and intimidating, to be honest and they drew attention wherever they went. From the things my parents had told me, to experiencing it a few times myself in public, at dinners and what not. Elias was only 37 and Ennis 42 but they both looked like they were in their late 20s. Neither of them had ever married and barely dated and I had always wondered why.

There was still a lot of mystery surrounding them and their family. Even with how long my father had known them and their family. They were very private.

It was another reason I was so surprised that Elias had agreed to do this for my parents… to babysit me.

“I know how she feels, she’s easy to read. I promise you, I’m not making any mistakes and I’m not changing my mind.” How who feels? Who’s easy to read!? Was he talking about me? I felt a pit in my stomach open up and eaves dropping suddenly felt like the biggest mistake I had made… or was it possibly the best.

Oh please let it be someone else you’re talking about and not me.

“Yeah, well next time I won’t hesitate to kiss her. Listen I gotta go, she’ll most likely come down soon. I’ll keep you updated, talk to you soon.”

KISS HER!? Kiss who, me!? I felt my legs go weak at the thought and all of my most vivid, forbidden fantasies bubbled to the surface of my thoughts. Every image of him kissing me in my dreams, catching him in the bathroom again, it was all set free to roam around and I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from making a sound.

I slowly backed myself against the wall and sat on the heels of my feet. This was all wrong, my mind was playing tricks on me no doubt. Elias would never want me… would he?

Facing him now was going to possibly give me a panic attack.

And then everything that happened yesterday when we talked together after school hit me. He grabbed my chin… was he going to… Holy crap. But my mother interrupted when she arrived.

Why would Elias want me? He could have anyone he wanted. ANYONE. I hadn’t imagined him staring at me like he never had before, he really was staring at me with this.. longing in his eyes.. biting his lip.

Was this the reason he agreed to look after me? Did he really want me like that? If he did, it’s what I had always wanted. But… now I REALLY didn’t know how to act around him…