Mentally in love

Chapter ten - It's time to go home

Dean's POV:

A couple of days have left until I go home. Brianna and I keep talking every day about it. I'm glad that she is helping me with this. I have to say that this is distracting me from my thoughts. My mind is always occupied with something. It never stops thinking. This is why I have to keep it busy with positive things. I don't want to get back to where I was. I came here to get better. I'll go for the same reason. The thing is that I have a lot of explaining to do. The biggest fear is Leo. My parents will be happy to see me, but I don't think he will be. I shouldn't have left him, but I couldn't take him with me. This place is not for him. Also, he doesn't have any problems. There was no reason for him to be here. He might hate me for that, but it was the better choice. Leo shouldn't be here. I'm not saying that people are horrible, but he doesn't need to see the state of everyone. That's why I will try to make it up to him. Mostly, it will be for the lost time. Well, as long as he lets me. That will be the hardest part. It's not like I plan to give up. The other thing that I want to do is find Lesley. I have no idea how she looks now, but I don't think she has changed that much. The moment I see her, I will be able to recognize her. I'm sure about this. Even if I don't have luck on my own, my parents will help me. This will be the first time when I will tell them about her. The only reason why I didn't do it was because it wasn't that important. At least, not to me. Things changed when I came to the hospital. I started thinking about her again. She was only thirteen but knew how to make me feel better, even if she never realized it. I would like it if we could continue where we left off. It was a short but good friendship. I hope she will forgive me for leaving.

Today is the day I will go home. I have been waiting for this for a long time. I don't think I'm ready, but I have to. I spent enough time here. Also, it's not helping me anymore. Brianna tried everything for the past year. I will always be thankful for meeting her. She wasted so much time with me. I'm surprised she never gave up. In her place, I would've done it a long time ago. Well, that is her job. Even if I'm not here, she has to stay.

I woke up and started taking my things. Before I came here, I quickly went home to take some stuff with me. My parents might have noticed, but there was no way I could know about this. The rest is history. Now I'm packing the same things I took five years ago. When I finished, I went to eat. I wish I could take some food for home. Sadly, I can't do this. I'm sure my mom will cook something delicious. I sat down, and soon Jeremy came with Lia. Brianna also joined us.

- Why are all of you looking at me?

- These are your last minutes here. We want to make them memorable. - Jeremy said, chuckling

- Will you come back to see us? - Lia asked

- I probably will. I might need Brianna's skills for a while.

- You are always welcome. I'll help you with what I can.

- Thanks. I will miss the food here.

- I'm sure your mom can cook. - Jeremy said

- She can, but I got used to the food here.

- You will be fine. That is the last thing you should worry about. Don't forget about the girl.

- I won't. That is one of the things I'll do when I go home. Well, after I talked with Leo.

All of us talked for a while. Later, I went to take my things. Since I am an adult already, I don't need my parents' signatures to let me go home. I can do it on my own. I don't feel ready to go. Well, I know this is the right decision. I can't stay here anymore. I called a taxi. If you ask from where I have money, the answer is simple. I took all my savings with me when I left my house. This is how I paid the driver. Hopefully, there will be someone at home. I didn't take my keys. Otherwise, my parent might think they were stolen. Since I was dead, I had to leave them. I knocked on the door and waited. Soon, my mom opened the door.

- Hi, mom.

- Dean?

I haven't seen her in so long. These five years felt way more. She might be confused, but I hope she will listen to me. I have nowhere else to go. This is my only home. I will move out when I get a job and earn some money. That won't be soon.

- Is that you?

- Yes, it's me. I know you are confused, but I will explain you everything.

- How?

- Can I come in? I don't want to stay outside.

- Of course. It's like a dream. - she said as I walked in

- Look, I.

Before I could finish, she hugged me. I have missed her too. After all, no one can replace a mother. Soon, I pulled away and looked at her. I won't cry, but I feel bad for her. I was about to say something when my dad showed up.

- Dean?

- Hey, dad.

- If this is a prank, it's not funny.

- It's not. I came back.

- No offense, but you were supposed to be dead.

- I know. Can we talk?

- The kitchen is yours.

- Thanks.

All of us walked into the kitchen. I guess Leo is not at home. Maybe that is better. I want to talk with him alone. There are some things that I want to tell him. Mom made me a cup of tea and brought some cookies. She used to do this when I was sick. I'm not a little kid anymore, but I appreciate it.

- Tell me everything. I want to know what happened to you. - my mom said

- I would like to know who we buried in the ground that day. - my dad said

- No one. The coffin was empty. That's why I wrote you that note.

- Ok, but where have you been all this time?

- I don't know how to say this. Do you remember when you were signing some documents, and I was with you?

- Yes, I do. Why?

- I made you sign something.

- What was that something? - my mom asked

- Documents for sending me to a mental hospital.

- What? Dean, why would you do that?

- Because I had to. I wasn't ok. Also, you were embarrassed by me. It was time to put an end to this.

- Honey, we weren't embarrassed by you. Who told you that?

- No one. I saw it. It was better for me to be away from you.

- Why didn't you tell us?

- Because you weren't going to let me do it.

- To make it clear. You stayed in a mental hospital for five years. - my dad said

- Yes, exactly.

- Oh, god. Do you know what we went through?

- I know you are mad at me, but I hope you understand.

- We are not mad at you, but wish you could share it with us.

- I'm sorry. You spent enough time taking care of me. It was time to let you go off this.

- Do you feel better now?

- A little bit. I mean, I'm better than when I went there, for sure.

- What treatments did you receive?

- They took everything I could use to hurt myself. It's not like I didn't try. Most of the time, I was talking with Brianna. She helped me a lot.

- Who is Brianna? - my dad asked

- A therapist. She works there twenty-four hours, five days a week. I have her phone number. She told me to call her if I needed something. I'll try not to use it.

- I don't know what to say. It's brave what you did, but you had to tell us. - my mom said

- It wasn't that easy.

- We are your parents. Our job is to take care of you even when you are thirty-five. - she said, chuckling

- I know. I'm sorry about that.

- It's ok. I'm glad that you are back home.

- Where is Leo?

- Outside. I don't know when he will come home.

- I have to talk with him too.

- Be patient. He gets angry when we talk about you.

- Why?

- I don't know. I tried to talk to him about that. He refused to tell me anything.

- I will take care of that.

My parents and I talked until lunchtime. I have missed her cooking so much. Leo was still outside. I don't know when he will come home. I hope it's soon. I want to talk with him. Mom gave me updates on everything that happened for the last five years. I haven't been out of town. Well, I didn't go anywhere else. She told me about my brother's old PE teacher. I won't say I am surprised, considering what people exist nowadays. I mean, it could've been worse. Also, nothing happened to him. Somehow, he was saved. I know my mom was worried. That's why she moved him, no matter that the teacher got fired.

The rest of the afternoon, I was in my room. Mom has kept everything the way I left it. Neither a single thing was moved. I noticed that it was clean. I think she has come to this room more than once a week. Dad came to talk with me for a while. I told him not to treat me better than Leo. It's enough that he has to deal with me again. Later, I went to help my mom with dinner.

- Do you need something?

- No, I only wanted to help you.

- Thanks, but you don't have to do it. Go and rest.

- Mom, I have been doing this for five years. I think it's time for me to do something. - I said, and she laughed

- If you say so.

- I'm home.

- Kitchen. - my mom said

- Hey, Leo. - I said

- You!

- What?

- I knew you weren't dead.

- Really?

- It was too obvious. This note and the fact we got nothing from you in the hospital. We didn't even see your face after the accident. It was visible you weren't there.

- So the whole time you knew I wasn't dead?

- I wish you were.

- Leo! We don't talk like that. - my mom said

- As if it's not true. He only brings trouble. Disabled people can't do anything.

- Your brother is not disabled. Apologize right now.

- What?

- Now!

- Ok, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you didn't do it when you had the chance.

- LEO!

- It's ok, mom. I don't mind.

- He can't talk like that.

- The lovely son came back. Why don't you make him a cup of tea, put a blanket on top, and sleep with him like a baby?

- Why are you talking like that? I think you should appreciate that he is here.

- For what? That he left. No, thank you.

- He had problems.

- So do I, but you have never asked. You never cared what I was doing. The world was spinning around him.

- That is not true, and you know it.

- Are you sure? It didn't feel like that. - Leo said and left

- I don't understand what I did wrong. - my mom said with tears in her eyes

- It's ok. I will talk with him.

- Thank you.

I knocked on Leo's door and slightly opened it. He was texting someone. I know he doesn't want to see me, but once I move out, things will be different. I hope that until then, we can fix our relationship. I would love to bring back the relationship we had. We used to play a lot as kids. Many things have changed since then. I walked in and sat in front of him. He didn't look at me. Honestly, I don't know what to tell him. No matter what I say, he won't forgive me.

- Leo.

- Go away.

- Can't we at least talk?

- I have nothing to tell you, so leave me alone.

- But I do.

- It doesn't matter. I don't want to listen to sad stories. Go to complain to someone else.

- I'm not here to complain but to understand what is happening with you.

- So now you care? Where were you five years ago? I grew up alone.

- I'm sorry about that. Try to understand.

- No, you have to do it. Five years you were laying in bed. I had to take care of everything, including mom and dad. All this is because of you. Maybe you should try not to be so selfish.

- I wanted to help.

- How? By disappearing. It's not working.

- I'm sorry, Leo. I didn't want to leave you.

- But you did.

- I'll make it up to you.

- Leave.

- Leo.

- I said leave!

- Ok, ok. Don't get mad. I'll go.

I went to help my mom set the table. She looks worried about Leo. According to her, he is all the time outside. Mom is afraid that he might be doing something horrible. Maybe he is hanging out with friends. There is nothing wrong with that. Well, she said that he never brought them here. Now I understand why she is worried. I think he has more senses than me. Leo won't do anything stupid. Surprisingly, he joined us for dinner. It's not like he was talking.

- The food is delicious.

- Who knows what you have been eating there?

- Honestly, the food was good. Not like yours, but it was better than expected.

- I see you have a new bracelet.

- Yes, my friends made it.

- You have friends. - Leo said, looking at me

- I do. Jeremy and Lia.

- God knows in what condition they are.

- Leo. Will you stop?

- What? I didn't say anything.

- They are not like me but have their stories similar to each other.

- Let me guess. One of them was r*ped. - my brother said

- Yes. How do you know that?

- What? That was a guess.

- Well, you guessed correctly. It was Lia.

- I'm going out.

- But you were outside the whole day. - my mom said

- So? Unlike some people, I have mentally stable friends. - he said and left

- He will kill me.

- Don't worry. I'll keep talking with him.

The rest of the night I spent talking with my parents. It feels good to be back here, but I feel bad for leaving my friends. Maybe I can do something to help them. Mom knows some brokers. She said she would ask if they have something for rent. I don't know if Jeremy can afford it, but he has to start from somewhere. Of course, I will talk to him too. After all, it's his decision. He might not want to do it. In that case, I can't do anything. All I want is to help. They deserve it, especially after everything they did for me. I will never forget that. I hope that one day, he and Lia will get better.