Mentally in love

Chapter fourteen - You are stupid

Dean's POV:

For the past couple of days, I have been thinking about how to make up things with Leo. I have something in mind, but that should be the last thing I will use. Sadly, nothing else came to my mind. Initially, I didn't want to tell him I saw him with a girl that day. He will quickly understand what I did. At the same time, I think I have to do it. This girl likes him for sure. I don't know how he doesn't see it. Maybe he is pretending. I can find out only if we talk about it. The thing is that he will get mad at me again. It's not like he has stopped. I shouldn't mess with his life, but that is the only thing that has left me. I have no idea how to talk with him. It's visible that he doesn't want to have anything in common with me. I don't mind it that much, but I wish things had been the way they used to be. That's why I have to do something about it. The question is what it should be. I feel like I have lost my connections with him. Honestly, I'm not surprised. After all, five years have passed. That is a long time. He has grown so much. I will find a way to make up for the lost time. It might not be easy, but I don't plan to give up. At least Lesley and I don't have such problems. Well, I have to keep an eye on her. I was at her house the other day and used her bathroom. I found at least ten syringes filled with painkillers. I wanted to take them, but I didn't. She will notice quickly. There must be a way I can get rid of them. These things are not helping her, and she knows it. I don't understand why she keeps using them. It's not healthy for her. I'm sure her parents don't know about them. Otherwise, they won't allow it. We need to sit and talk about this. There is another solution to her problems. I hope that she will tell me everything and stop using the painkillers.

I have found some job offers. I'll see when I will apply for them. Right now, I have more important things to do. One of them is to talk with Leo. I don't know how many tries I need until we understand each other. One thing is sure. I won't give up. He is my brother. I want us to keep the good relations we had. It's hard for him since he grew up without me by his side, but I'm here now. This is not the same, but I'm trying my best.

I woke up and went to get dressed. Leo is at school, and my parents are at work. When I was ready for the day, I went to eat. I keep looking for more job offers. The problem is that I don't know what I want to do. There are many opportunities. Also, I'm not sure if I feel ready. I plan to get a job and later move out. My parents help me a lot, and I don't know if I want to leave them. I mean, at least for now. Maybe I have to wait a bit and see how it goes. I was eating when I received a message from Lesley.

Hey, are you awake? I'm sorry if I woke you up.

Don't worry. I'm eating. Can I help you with something?

No, I finished my test early, and the teacher let me use my phone.

I'm sure you did well.

I won't be so sure. Lately, my concentration has been gone. I tried my best not to fail.

If you want, I can help you with your studies.

Thanks, but I have to do this alone. How are you? What are your plans for the day?

I plan to talk with Leo. I might tell him about the girl.

Are you sure? He will get mad at you.

I know, but at least we can talk about something. I think she likes him.

I wouldn't take the risk.

What else has left me to do?

Ok, tell me how it went.

That will probably be tomorrow. I don't know how long it will take me.

Take your time. I know this is something important to you.

It is. Thank you for understanding me. You are a great friend.

I would argue with you about that, but not today.

I mean it. Don't worry. I'll make you stop taking these painkillers.

No, not that. I told you I needed them.

No, you don't. Lesley, listen to me. There are other ways you can solve your problems.

Which are?

When I find them, I will tell you.

I don't have that much time. I better end things now.

What? No! You can't do it.

Relax. I meant that it would take me less time to take painkillers.

I won't let you do that. Wait a minute. Do you have some now? I mean, at school.

No, I don't. Someone might see me.

At least you did one thing right.

I have to go now. We'll talk later, ok?

Yes, sure. Bye. Don't do anything stupid.

Yes, sir.

Very funny.

After some time, I made myself lunch. I can't cook like my mom, but I can do simple things. Then I decided to watch some videos. I need a break from the job offers. The more I look at them, the more confused I get. I still haven't talked with my parents about that. Let's say I'm not sure if I want it so soon. I will tell them, but not today.

Around 2 pm, Leo was home. He went straight to his room. I assume something has happened. I want to know what it is, but I don't think he will tell me. Well, I will push my luck a bit too far. I walked upstairs and knocked on his door. He told me to go away, but I walked in. I sat in front of him on the bed.

- Hey, how are you?

- Not your business.

- Look, I need to tell you something.

- Go away. I don't want to talk with you now.

- It will take two minutes.

- Ok, what?

- I saw you one day with a girl.

- What? You followed me.

- I didn't say that.

- There is no other way you could've done it. I don't bring any of my friends here. Why did you do it?

- Because mom is worried for you. Also, I was curious to know why you are always outside.

- You have no right to do this.

- I know, and I'm sorry, but I think she likes you.

- What? You are crazy.

- What is her name?

- Tessa.

- The way she was looking at you said it all to me.

- I have no idea what you are talking about. She is like my sister.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, I am. I don't like her that way.

- If you say so. I'm sure she will say the opposite.

- She can forget about this. I don't have time for relationships.

- Why? You have nothing else to do.

- Why do you care?

- Because I am your brother, and I want to help you.

- No, thanks. I don't need your help. What you did is more than enough.

- But I didn't do anything.

- That's what I mean. You didn't do anything for me.

- I have already apologized for that many times.

- It doesn't matter.

- Give her a chance or at least talk with her.

- She is my friend, not yours. I think you should stay away from her.

- Why? Are you jealous?

- No, I'm not. I don't want your state to get to her.

- Maybe you can help her with that.

- I didn't ask for your opinion. Her feelings don't matter to me.

- Then why do you keep her as your friend? I'm sure you have more.

- Yes, I'm hanging out with three other boys.

- Why don't you bring her with you? I mean, all of you can be together.

- Because she doesn't like them. I have to be with her separately.

- So you care?

- What?

- You wouldn't do this if you didn't care about her.

- Get lost. - he said, and I laughed

- I don't know if she is only your friend, but you care about her a lot. I suggest you keep her. She looks like a good girl.

- She is. Even better than many of them.

- I smell feelings. - I said, and he hit me with a pillow

- It's not funny.

- Relax. I'm only trying to help you.

- I never said I needed your help.

- Ok, then. I plan to go out. Do you want to come with me?

- I don't want to be with you and Lesley.

- I won't be with her. Today, I'm solo.

- You ditched her?

- No, I didn't.

- Have fun. I want to be at home.

- Alright, cool.

I took my things and walked out. I have no idea where I want to go, but a walk will be good for me. First, I went to get a drink. I took a vanilla Frappuccino. Later, I went to a park. Soon, I saw the girl who was with my brother that day. Her name is Tessa. I don't know why she is messing with him. I don't think he can give her something more than friendship. I made her a sign, and she came. This girl deserves something better.

- Tessa, right?

- Yes. From where do you know?

- Leo told me.

- Do you know him?

- I live with him. He is my little brother.

- Dean? But you were.

- It's a long story. How are you?

- I'm good.

- Can I ask you something? I hope you won't get offended.

- It depends on the question, but go on.

- Do you like Leo?

- Yes, he is a good friend.

- No, wrong question. Do you have a crush on him?

- Oh, um, no.

- Are you sure? I think you do.

- Why do you think like that?

- Because it's visible. Can I know why it's him? There are so many better boys. He is my brother. I don't see him taking care of a girl.

- Me either.

- Look who says it.

- Can I tell you something? Well, as long as you don't tell him.

- My mouth is shut.

- I don't like his friends.

- Why? It's not like I have met them.

- Because they changed him. Leo wasn't like that. One day, a boy dropped his books on the ground. They started laughing, and no one helped him. Only I did.

- I see what you mean.

- He wasn't such a horrible person. I don't know what they did to him.

- Is this why you don't hang out with his friends?

- Yes. He was with them five days a week and only two with me.

- Maybe he has other priorities. I don't know.

- He can say it if he doesn't want to be with me.

- Do you want me to talk with him? I did it before I went out but for something else.

- No, this is our problem. I don't think you should mess with this.

- I would love to help him get a girlfriend.

- Leo and a girlfriend. That will never happen. He won't keep her, especially with friends like his. This is impossible.

- Since when do you like him?

- I don't know. I claim it was a few months ago, but maybe it was since we met.

- How exactly you two met?

- It's the same story about the boy I told you about. The difference is that I am a girl. Also, he wasn't that close to the boys.

- I see. I think you should be brave and tell him how you feel.

- No way! I don't want to be rejected.

- You need to think more positively.

- I think I know your brother better than you. One thing is sure. He doesn't want to date. Not me.

- I think you are wrong, but who am I to tell?

- Are you single?

- Don't you think about this.

- No, I don't mean that. - she said, laughing

- Then what?

- You talk as if you experienced it. That's why I asked.

- I'm single. I never dated anyone. Let's say that I had problems.

- I understand. It's ok. There is time for everything. Don't rush with this.

- You should do it before you miss your chance.

- I don't know if I want to fight for him anymore.

- Why not?

- Because we don't do anything. Whenever we are together, it's awkward. I'm not like the boys. I'm not that funny. I'll never be a person he likes. Sometimes, I wonder why I even try. - she said with tears in her eyes

- You have to talk with Leo and tell him how you feel. There is no other way. If he doesn't like you, he is not the one for you.

- Are you against him?

- No, I'm not, but I see what he does to you.

- Forget it. There is no chance for me. I better move on.

- But, Tessa.

- I said something.

- Ok, ok. Please, don't get mad at me.

- I'm sorry.

- It's ok.

Tessa and I talked for a while. I can't believe Leo is doing this to her. She seems nice. In her place, I would've moved on a long time ago. It's visible that he has zero interest in her. I don't know why she keeps staying by his side. He won't give her the attention she wants. To her, she will always be a comparison with his other friends. I was at home for dinner. Everyone was at the table.

- The food looks great.

- How was your walk? - Leo asked

- Good. I saw your friend.

- Who?

- The one we talked about.

- What did you do?

- Left her to talk.

- And?

- All I will say is that you are stupid.

- Dean, you can't talk like that. - my mom said

- Oh, I can. I'm surprised that she is still with you.

- What do you mean? Did she tell you something?

- I can't tell you because I promised her, but I suggest you spend more time with her and less with your other friends.

- Why? She is not like the boys. Not even close.

- You are stupid.

- Hey!

- If you have zero interest in her, let her go.

- Why would I do that?

- Because she deserves it.

- She is my friend, and I can do whatever I want with her.

- I hope you won't get upset when she leaves you.

Leo didn't want to talk with me the rest of the night. I told my parents everything Tessa told me. Now they know why I said all this. Dad agreed with me, but not my mom. Let's say she has a soft spot for both Leo and me. She doesn't like it when one of us is accused. I understand her, but what my brother does is wrong. It feels like he is playing with her. He can't do that to a girl or anyone else. I should've told her to leave him. Well, I don't think she will do it. The girl has fallen too deeply for him. I don't know how he is so blind. I hope he will realize what he is doing before it gets too late.