Love is not only Romance

Chapter 5

James. My first somewhat real boyfriend. Or as real as it can get at the age of 14.

I met him about a month before I met Elle. His friends and mine were hanging together because we were free. One thing led to another and a sarcastic reply escaped my lips and I caught his attention. I didn’t notice but he caught mine too. Our conversation held my witty replies and his sarcastic jokes. He seemed different from the people I spoke to; he wasn't trying to be liked.

Days passed and I found myself looking for him. When I didn't see him, I would casually ask his friends if he was around. They weren't stupid. They knew why I asked for him and they told him. We ended up talking more often. He would find me during our breaks, and we would talk. He made me nervous, he was the first guy who ever made me nervous to the point where my favorite romance books hadn't prepared me. He was funny and managed to make me laugh more than I actually wanted to. He gave me a new feeling to feel

Somehow, he had my number and we chatted into the ungodly hours of the night. I was excited to see how things would end up. All while Elle and I were becoming closer, James seemed to worm himself into my life. He got along with my friends but when I told Elle, she wasn't impressed. Maybe she sensed that he wasn't good enough for me. Maybe.

Long story short, James convinced me into giving him a chance. And I did. It was good for the first few weeks. But then the fighting started. We fought more than I would have expected. We both had strong opinions and he brought out my sass. Maybe he was just needed to unfold everything for fate. The fights left me drained but I didn't cry. I didn't have tears to spare for relationship problems. All my tears were reserved for my home life.

I think Elle noticed because we barely spoke about him. She always helped me forget about everything else going on. She always reminded me that I am alive right now, I need to focus on right now. She reminded me of my self-worth. Once again, I'm thankful for her. As my life goes on, I constantly find myself able to stand up for myself. That is something I could never say I can do without her.

Things with James were constantly on the edge. On some days we were young kids playing with our hearts while swinging our feet off the edge and other days, we were trying to push each other over the edge. I could never say that I didn't like him, because, without a doubt, I truly did. I guess I have come to understand that people can care for each other and still not be what's best for each other.

On the day, my favorite teacher, Miss. Gills spoke to me. she has always been my angel in disguise. She told me that other teachers have told her to talk to me and she had been meaning to talk to me as well. It seemed as though I had a misjudgment in character. James had other things going on. Selling drugs, smoking drugs, hanging around other girls who seemed way too friendly than others. That day, she told me to think about myself, to think about my parents.

“What kind of guy would your dad want for you? What kind of guy would your mom want to see you with? "

I guess I needed to hear that. Not because I am a people pleaser but because to make myself proud, I need to make my parents happy, I need to set a good example for my sisters. There's so much more in this world that I know I deserved; I know that I don't have to be swimming in this feeling.

Miss. Gills left me with a lot to think about and I was thankful for that. My eyes have been opened for the second time.

However, it was only after the third time that I truly knew that I needed to do what I was thinking of doing. My best guy-friend pulled me aside. Tristan has always been that one person who showed me he cared. He helped me through everything with the group. He was always on my side and I never doubted him. So, when he told me that James isn't a good guy for me, I understood why. James and I were really different. I won't say we didn't know what we felt because I know that I really liked him, and he liked me. We just weren't meant to share that bond.

So, I did it. I broke up with him. It broke me at the time. But I grew and it opened many doors in the future. Yes, those doors brought me even more heartbreak, but it also brought me, Elle.