Alpha Mate, Human Lover

He was hammered. And after what, two drinks. This was ridiculous but she loved it anyway. He was good company but he was great company when drunk. "I neeedd to tellll you something." She smiled and laughed quietly. "Ok, shoot" She laid down a card. "I love you." She laughed out loud this time. "Is that something I don't already know?" "No. I mean it. I love you. I have. For a while now. Before I broke up with Sarah. When I met you I loved you." This was new. Very new. Too new. She didn't respond so he kept going. "She was a face and some ass. But you had sass and I loved it. Your personality has always pulled me in. Your like a lighting bug someone has put in a jar. And it kills me because you keep trying to fly out but as soon as people come back around you fly back in like its your duty to keep their world lit and keep yourself contained. I hate it. I hate it so much. You are so amazing and exceptional." It was pouring out now and she was too stunned to stop him. "Every time we go to Ross or some s**t like that. There you go trying on a dress and thinking you look too fat in it. You over there asking my opinion and I'm trying to use my mind to answer and not my head. I wish you saw you as I see you. You know. You'd prolly wanna f**k you like I do too tho and that's sorta weird. You know tho, you're my best friend. And I just don't want to lose what we got going on. It's the coolest calmest thing I've ever had in my life and I'm willing to just cool it ya know if that's what it takes to keep you here." And just like that he was done. She was still frozen and staring. Did she miss something? I mean he is drunk but as we all know drunk minds speak sober thoughts. Is this real? Had she really been blind to this for all these years? She finally got her wits to speak. "Oh. Um. Ok. I'm sorry. I guess. Ha. You kinda umm ok well maybe it's time for you to go to bed. You have to work tomorrow, remember?" "Yeah I do, s**t. Hey you know what?" "What?" "I want pancakes. In the morning. Pancakes. Like, if I wake up and there are pancakes I think I'd be the happiest man alive." "Ok. I get it. I'll make you pancakes" I got up early the next morning. If I'm being honest, I didn't really sleep. I couldn't get Jackson's words out of my head. Had I really not seen the signs? And why didn't his confession make me feel happy? I felt confused and sad. That's not the usual reaction to your best friend telling you they love you. I threw myself into making pancakes and mulled over my feelings. Just as I was finishing up, Jackson walked sleepily into the kitchen, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Hey sleepy head! How are you feeling this morning?" "Good. Ugh. My head is killing me but it smells so good in here. Please tell me those are pancakes!?" "Of course silly, that's what you asked for." I laughed "Oh I did? Pfft, I have no recollection of last night AT ALL. Holy s**t. How much did I have to drink?" My eyes went wide and I stared at him, a million thoughts racing through my head. Did he remember his confession? If not, do I just act like it never happened? Do I bring it up? But I don't feel the same so why bring it up? Would it ruin our friendship if… "Earth to Callie. Helloooo!!???" "Oh sorry. I was just trying to mentally count and I genuinely have no clue but from the bottles I cleaned up this morning I'd say it was definitely enough for you to forget. I let out a half hearted chuckle hoping he wouldn't suspect anything. "s**t, I believe it. Sorry I didn't help you clean up. But I'll wash dishes after we eat, how's that?" "That'd be perfect. Thank you." I made our plates and sat down to eat but I wasn't feeling particularly hungry. My stomach was in knots. How do I proceed? My whole view of him has changed and I don't think I can go back. What if I can't go back? I shook my head as if the action would wash the thoughts away and decided to get up and get ready for the day. I was off from work but had tons of weekend errands to run. Anything sounded better than sitting in awkward silence with Jackson. "I'm gonna go ahead and get dressed. Got errands to run. Take your time. You know your welcome to hang out as long as you need." I gave him a soft smile and for the first time I saw it. I saw the love in his eyes. The longing to say something more but all he did was nod and continue eating. Sigh. Ugh why? I don't want to lose my best friend.