Benefits of a Broken Heart

Chapter 7 Patio Time

---Austin's POV---

I need a breath of fresh air so I quickly take my coffee, opening the patio door to head out before I make myself look like an i***t in front of her. Holy crap.. It has never been hard for a man like me to get a woman's attention and I have become pretty smooth for the most part, so how can I be fumbling on my words with her.. why is this any different with her? Maybe it's because I'm getting to know her and loving everything I'm figuring out. Maybe it's because, for once, I actually think I care what someone thinks of me.

I take in a deep breath before grabbing my joint I have sitting out here, lighting up the end of it. I suck in quickly filling my lungs with that much desired soothing medicated air. I blow it out as I look up to see across me is Taylor putting away her clothes. She keeps folding and organizing as I just take a sip of my coffee and a hit of my joint.

I watch her lips move to the lyrics of the music, while turning and looking back and forth. She actually looks happy, I like this.. Her presence is going to bring something special into my life, I can already tell.. or maybe that's just my wishful thinking. I keep watching her smile and sing until something is getting her attention. She turns around, bending over the bed, looking for something. I can't help sitting forward just to see this sight, if only for a moment. She sits back up holding her phone in her hand, looking as if she is reading something, before shaking her head, then wiping her eyes. She sits there for a moment, looking so heartbroken. This sight enrages the beast inside of me, I just had her smiling, singing, looking content at this point and I don't know who broke that trance, but whoever did is going to hear from me.

I stand up without hesitation, putting the cherry of my joint out. I stop in my tracks. What am I supposed to say to her? I can't tell her I was staring at her through her window.. and happened to notice she was crying.. that sounds creepy.. I don't want to freak her out.. maybe there is something that can give me a reason to head into there.. I look down seeing the joint in my hand. Maybe this will help make her feel better.

I hear my phone beeping to get my attention as I open it up, It's a message from my mother. 'How is he? Nice?' I smile and try to figure out how to respond. 'Nice for sure, and not what I had imagined at all, but this could really work out. Thanks love you.' I respond putting my phone back into my pocket as I make my way into my place. I let out deep breath as I turn to walk down the hallway. I peak into her open door, seeing she is still sitting on her bed as I hear sniffling. I suck in a sharp breath before saying. "Hey Tay I was thinking we could smoke if you had time." trying to not bring attention to real reason why I'm in here.. we will play the surprised angle. "Hey.. Tay? Are you crying? What's going on? Are you ok?" I ask threading my words with so much empathy, as she quickly wipes her eyes, trying to look as if she wasn't crying. But she doesn't respond. So I just let myself in, walking over to her bed as I sit down right next to her.

"Tay.." I say but she just looks away, she doesn't look like she is uncomfortable with me here, just not wanting to talk about this. So I push limits to hopefully help her feel better. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulling her in. She doesn't have to say anything to me if she doesn't want to.. I just want to try to help her. For some unknown reason, I have the urge to just protect her.

She sniffles and snuggles into my chest. "My parents don't think I can do this and are asking me to come back home.. especially when I told them about you." She says in a muffled tone as I pull her in more. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest and by her close proximity, I bet she can hear it now too. But oddly enough, she is calming me in a way too. "You told them about me? What... what about me?" I ask curiously, not knowing how to feel about this.

"I told them this morning about my 'friends' and what they did to me and how you made me feel better.. I also told them about the little misunderstanding with this place, when I told them I got here fine.. they don't think I can do this on my own, and they are afraid a guy is going to come around, taking advantage of me.. so now that I'm living with one, they think it is going to happen.. so they are demanding I come home." she explains to me as I let out a deep breath responding "You're not on your own for one thing, I'm here.. but for another I would never take advantage of you."

She nods as she says softly. "I'm starting to figure that out." I keep my arm gripped around her tight as my hand instinctively rubs her back, just loving this close proximity wishing we could do this all the time.. But who knows, because I can't get the guts to make the move I want on her, by telling her how I feel. "What do you think you should do? What do YOU want to do?" I ask her as she scrunches her eyebrows before saying, "No one has asked me that." I stare at her waiting in anticipation for her answer. "I.. I don't know.. let's go smoke about it." She says to me, standing up as I quickly followed behind her out of her bedroom door and to the patio.

I open the door for her as she walks out sitting on the extra chair I have just had there for show, because none of my old roommates used it and my friends aren't there all the time or anything. I sit on my chair before pulling out my lighter alongside the joint and passing them to her to get the first hit. She smirks at me as she puts the joint between her lips before lighting the end. She taking a huge hit of smoke before holding it in and passing those back to me. She lets out the breath she was holding in, as the smoke dissipates into the air.

"So how does a girl like you start smoking?" I ask her, staring intently as her eyebrows raise. "Like me?" I think asking what I mean like that. I clear my throat as I reply. "The sweetest woman I have ever met." I try to say so I don't look bad, but she rolls her eyes at me smirking my way, I think she knows I'm trying to sweet talk her. "What sweet girls can't smoke a bowl when they need a pick me up?" she asks me as I chuckle and run my hand through my hair as I take a hit and respond, "I never said that.. you just don't seem like the type of girl that would smoke I guess." I say to her as she lets out a deep breath responding without hesitation. "I just wish everyone would stop assuming what they know about me and just get to know me, is it really that hard?" She asks no one in particular as she stands up looking frustrated.

I stand up just as quickly, taking her hand into mine, getting her attention before I retort back. "You're right, I shouldn't have assumed that.. I'm not used to being around girls like you and I'm caught off guard but.. you're right.. tell me about you and what you want Taylor." I say to her as she nods at me looking questionable but doesn't remove her hand from mine. "I.. I want to be a chef.. and I don't want to go home.. because if I do, I'm afraid I'll never get the guts to do this again.. and it took me 20 years to get the guts to leave the first time.. I don't want to wait another 20.. I think I can do this.. Now I just wish I wouldn't have told my daddy about this.. he is going to be worried until I come home." She explains as I ask bluntly, "Why didn't you just lie if you didn't want to tell him the truth? It would only be a white lie, nothing too bad."

She huffs and says, "Even a white lie is still a lie.. and we will just say that I don't lie.. I have been lied to, too many times and have no tolerance for it or the heartbreak that comes hand and hand with it.. Hence, why my father is so worried about me.. he thinks I'm going to get lied to again,, But I'm tired of the lies and heartbreak.. and if anyone can't do that for me, then they don't deserve to have me in their lives.. but how would I figure it out without trying? There isn't any way.. but I'm a daddy's girl and he won't let me forget it. So what do I do?"

"You're right. They don't deserve to be in your life if they are going to treat you badly.. but you can't let your father control you either. You need to do what you want.." I try to be encouraging and worried that she might leave when she just got here. "It just sucks knowing that he doesn't think I can do this, even though he won't say it." I nod and say, "I think you are going to do an amazing job here.. this could be just what you needed in life."

She smiles and says, "I love your undeserved confidence in me. It's refreshing and just what I needed to hear.. and.. thanks for just being that support for me. I think you're right. I can't let his worry control me.. I can do this and I'll show him by getting that job tomorrow." She declares to me as I quickly shake my head, still holding her hand in mine. "You shouldn't ever do anything for him, just do it for yourself.. do what you want when you want and I'm sure everything will work out." I stand up next to her as she smiles at me then hugs me in a split second as I wrap my arms even tighter around her.

"You're right.. Thanks Austin.. So if you don't mind, I would love to stay here." She said to me as I let out the nervous breath I never knew I was holding in. "Sounds Perfect." She takes one more hit as she hands me the joint, then pulls out her phone and saying. "I'm calling my daddy and telling him to take his money back for the ticket to fly home.. because I'm not leaving.. I think this could be something amazing for me but I will never know until I stay and find out." She leaves the patio to head inside with a pep in her step. I sit back down taking a hit of the joint, as I watch her pace back and forth in her room on the phone.. She looks confident now and knowing I did that for her makes me feel higher than the clouds.