Blue Eyes I First Saw

Chapter 19

“As much as I want to. I can't, Sei.” he said sadly.

I frowned. “Why not?”

He shook his head like in defeat and stared on the exit of the forest that is located near us. “I can't go out in this forest.” 

“What?” I don't get his point. Why not? Then, a thought sinks on me. “You're not bound to leave this place?” 

He nodded slowly and looked down on his feet. “In this forest, to be exact. I can't even step outside the arc.”

That's hell. This place is hell. “Did you try—”

“Yes. I did.” he cutted my words immediately. 

My mind went through a few scenarios. Does this forest have an invisible field that cages ghosts? Are all the ghosts being pulled and dumped here? Are they supposed to stay here forever? 

I want to ask Souru, but I don't want to add more burden and negativity to him. The fact that he can't go outside must be enough for me to ask questions that might salt his wounds.

“Sei, you should go home.” he dismissed me when I was about to yawn. “You're restless.”

I sighed. It's true with all the running and travelling. “Will you be okay here?” The thought of him alone in here is worrying me. 

“Of course.” he smiled, not meeting his eyes and ears. “I've been here for almost two years, I'm good.”

Two years? It's one hell of a torture!

“Don't worry about me, I won't die a second time around.” he joked that didn't earn a response from me.

I stared at him flatly. His sad blue eyes are still filled with negative emotions, his bruises are still there, unhealed and swollen. He still looks awful like how I first saw him. “Fine but, I'll come back here again. Okay?”

“Only if you went to a doctor.” Of course he'll negotiate this. He's a very good negotiator anyway.

I playfully rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Yes, brother dear. Take care, okay?”

He smiled at me and glanced at the arc. “‘You’ should take care. It's a long way to travel alone.”

“Believe me, I'm used to it.” I locked my iPad before putting it back on my backpack. 

“Sister, be careful. I'm serious.” his true to his words. 

Calling me sister is music to my ears. I wish I really have one but, if he or she will just experience the emotional problems I have, better not to. 

I chuckled. “You sound like a bearded man. Bye, grandpa!” He shook his head and sighed while looking at me walking to go out of the forest. 

“Bye!” I waved my hand and he also did before I continued walking. 

My steps were at a normal pace when I remembered the first time I went there. The bystander and I guess Souru is right. I should be more careful.

I reached the bus stop and rode on the vehicle bound for Metro Tokyo. It's way easier if I head straight to Shibuya but, I'm afraid my parents or someone who knew us saw me from a bus from Narusawa. 

Since the ride is hours long, I decided to read some notes while on the way. I must study more to fulfill the grade I failed. 

My muddy shoes tapped on the bus’ floor as my mind wandered back to Souru. He's the first ghost I saw and I wonder if I'm going to see more, I hope not. The Ghosts go to the afterlife after they die but Souru doesn't and stays in the forest. Is it the same case for all the people who killed themselves? Maybe not? Souru has a brother who he doesn't want to leave, maybe that's the reason why stayed on the land of the living?

Brother. He has a brother. 

An idea pops into my head. Souru can't go out but, can't leave his brother. The help he needs is for someone who can find his brother, then? Someone who can wander around outside the Aokigahara forest and find his brother. My hypothesis might be correct. I should ask him tomorrow.

The bus stopped and I clutched my iPad on my chest before hitting the way back to Shibuya. The ride back to the city of Shibuya takes a few minutes and I worked with my shoes on the road as I walked. 

Contemplating about placing my assessment result on my father's desk or not. If I did, they would scold me, which would surely affect my thoughts and might trigger my unstable mental health. If I didn't, I should think of some reasons why because, my parents are professors that surely knew which and when my tests happened. The truth to punish myself or a lie to save myself? I go for the latter. 

I sighed as I continued to walk, a crumpled paper was on my way so I picked it up and put it in one of my backpack's pockets. Some people really don't have the manners to throw their trash properly. Undisciplined.

The gate created a sound when I unlocked it before going inside. The lawn on our front yard is so peaceful to look at with the Cherry Blossom tree on the left side— it's Spring season so the flowers are starting to bloom.

The house is quiet and unmoved when I enter. My parents might still be out so I marched through the stairs and entered my room. As I flicked the lights on, the room felt so empty. The book remains on their shelves and my bed is still untouched. The white sheets were inviting me, so I hurriedly stripped and proceeded to my bathroom for a quick bath. I wasn't able to pull on some clothes so I stayed in my bathrobe for my slumber.

My hair is still wet and uncomb, my skin is still fresh and soft from the bath when the soft mattress welcomes me and I feel all the tiredness I have not felt for days. Soon enough, my eyes became heavy making me doze to a deep slumber. 

A lot of things have happened since the weekend and this is my first proper rest from all of those. I hope my tomorrow gets better.

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