Chapter 15
1135 Words
“Since we are now siblings, may I know how you end up . . .here?”
“My sister is nosy—
“I'm just curious.” I defend myself.
“May I know why ‘you’ ended up here instead? Sister?” This brother of mine is really something.
I sighed. “Let's say academic pressure. Yes. That's it.” well partly.
“Are you telling it to me or to yourself?” Does a ghost know how to read minds?
“Fine.” I raised my hands in the air as a sign of defeat. “It really has academic pressure in it. Together with how my parents treat me and how my friends— I mean acquaintances treat me. Also, myself. Myself is the whole reason why.”
“Yourself? What's wrong with you? Don't tell me you're ill?” he's worried. How caring my brother is.
“I still don't know myself. Not literally but, I know I am still finding myself on my inner depths. And no I'm not ill— just sick? Uhm yes— anxiety.” I shrug at the end.
I felt exposed yet relieved. It's a feeling to be held, to have someone you can tell what you really want to tell. I don't feel alone.
“You may be older than me but at your age you are still growing and discovering yourself. We know that we hold our own future but it doesn't mean we have to rush it. You must be a late bloomer so just let yourself explore life.” he's words are like the words of Guki but it's different. It made me think.
“The thing is . . .I can't. My parents always want me to study and study. Simply, they want to shape me but it is dominating or controlling me.” I confessed sadly. Guki doesn't know this part, I don't want her to see my parents as someone who controls me.
“Have you tried doing the things you want with them knowing?” he sat down on the ground so I sat on a flat large rock.
“When I was in seventh grade. I used to draw and paint but they never appreciated it. They always say that being artsy isn't for me but people outside say otherwise. Now, my artistic self is gone and I have no strength to go back.” reminiscing those is such a hurtful memory.
I used to go home with paper or canvas in hand. People on the train or on the street used to stare at it in wonder and amazement while my parents always say it's plain and dull.
Remembering those times made my tears alive again. I remember when I failed an assessment and had to do a summer class. They took all my art materials and all my artworks, all of them. What's left in my room was books. Tons of books and it's suffocating.
“You can still go back to being artistic. I'll support you.” Souru offered that made my heart pump like it was being touched.
“It's not going back. My skills vanished through time.” I said sadly.
“I'm sorry, Sei. But at least, you were once an artist.” he chuckled to lighten the mood, I nod. “I can't draw a very straight line without using a ruler.”
I chuckled at the thought. “I do, but you're not the only one. Faya can't do it too.”
“Faya is your friend?”
I sighed again. “Not anymore? I talked to her today though. It went well and maybe we can rebuild our friendship slowly.”
“Now, that's what I like more. Is she your only friend?” he's like interrogating me in an adorable way.
“There's Kaizo. I treat him as a friend too.”
“You sure he sees you as a friend too?” he maliciously asked.
I rolled my eyes at that and chuckled. “Of course. He's touchy but we talked about it already and he'll avoid it.”
Souru's brow is still high in his forehead but shrugged. “If you say so.”
Silently nearly stretched when he clears his throat. “What about the pressure you're enduring? Your anxiety?”
“It's bearable, I guess. People always expect high of me since I am my parents' daughter. They always think I'm smart just like my father and a geek like my mother.”
“People know your parents?” I laughed as he seemed to be shocked at the thought. I nod that made his eyes grow wider. “Wait, are your parents a politician?” He really is adorable!
I shook my head as an answer.
“Celebrities?” he guessed and I shook my head again. “One of the richest people in Japan?”
I laughed. “They are far from that. They are professors.”
“Oh? Then how do people know them? That expects you to be like them?”
“They are intelligent. My father is a graduate from Harvard while my mother—”
“Wait!” he seems to think deeply. “Does your father attend Harvard University in the United States?” I nod. “Topped the License—”
“Yes.” I almost whispered it. “Please don't look at me like I'm like them.” I added it in an instant.
“Of course not.” Souru answered automatically. “I thought— I just thought they are good parents like how they are good at everything.”
“Hey, they are good.” I defend. “It's just me—”
“No, Sei. They lack parenting. People also have flaws. It's wrong to control someone and mold them like yourself.” he seems annoyed to my parents?
“And I'm wrong because I always let them? I have faults too.” I admit the truth.
“They should know you're struggling!” he almost hissed.
I blinked in fear. “Calm down? Please?” The fact that he is still a ghost and almost angry scares me.
“I'm sorry.” he gave me a small smile. “You can talk to me whatever you're struggling with. We are now siblings.”
I nod. “I should also learn to be vocal on what I feel.”
“Yes. You should. We should learn how to stand up for ourselves.” It sounds like he is saying it to himself.
“Enough of me.” I breathe in and out. Am I really allowed to ask him this? Maybe? We are now siblings right? “So, how did you end up here?”
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Day Biasca
- Writer
