Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 62 - An Enemy

Song Inspo: "The Night We Met," by Lord Huron

Jadea

After untying me, Adam carried me into the bathroom where he'd whipped up a steaming bath. He slid in first and allowed me to settle my lower body within the welcoming, scalding heat. Not allowing my back to submerge since the tattoo was still healing. Caden joined us, settling against the side of the tub. Just wanting to be close.

Resting my head in the crook of Adam's shoulder, I whispered against his skin, "I'm glad you came back."

His hold tightened, shifted. I felt his overbearing emotions collide with mine. "I will always return, baby girl."

We stayed tucked into each other's bodies and minds until the water started cooling.

"When we are done here, you need a group snuggle with your pack."

A snuggle puddle sounded amazing...

"But?"

I knew I wasn't going to sleep. Sitting up, I fell into Adam's stormy eyes. "I'm not ready to lay down yet."

"What do you want to do?" He knew I was toying with something, but kept it just out of reach.

"I want to do the next scene. Month five with Silas."

Adam contemplated my request, though he knew all three of us were turbulent balls of energy. "Okay," he relented.

This scene was something the pack could overhear, if it got rowdy. My emotions and thoughts around this subject were things my pack could witness. I didn't want them exposed to the elements longer than necessary. Reaching out to Garret, I informed him to gather the pack and settle them in the front room.

"Will you join us?" he asked hopefully.

"In time."

Turning my attention back to Adam, I settled once more against his chest and told him about my fifth month with Silas and how I was put on the post and whipped two more times. The first one was when Malik played a harmless prank and I took the fall for him when Silas lost his s**t. The second was when the scouts caught a strange wolf lingering too close to the compound. "Silas wanted me to ... Inflict pain and suffering onto him. However, I couldn't. Which led to my most severe beating." The memories sent ripples of anxious energy down my spine, my body remembering how the serrated whip tore skin and left my back weeping with blood for days after.

Adam's strong hand curling around the back of my neck grounded me in the present. "Are you sure you want to do this now, baby?"

Nodding, I sat up. I didn't want to wait.

While Caden reminded me my healing didn't have a timeline, I knew differently. I knew something was hidden deep within my broken memories. A vital piece of information that could help identify the mole and bring this whole deplorable empire to the ground.

***

Adam

"Caden, help her dry off and redress her in the baby doll."

I hadn't meant to order him about. It just came naturally, especially during this type of scene. Caden's feathers weren't rustled. He complied. While he helped her, I dried off, dressed in my sleep pants and prepped the room for the scene.

"Is she okay?" Garret's light brush against my turbulent mind caught me off guard.

"She will be." Even if she wasn't, I would find a way. "Try to get some rest."

"We want to see her."

"I know. She's not ready yet."

They understood, even if it was hard.

My heart went out to them, knowing they missed her. Knowing they were hurting for her. Knowing they wouldn't calm until she was with them, so they could assess her themselves and comfort her.

"This shouldn't take long."

When Garret poked around in my mind, I let him. He wanted to understand what was keeping her away. Everything he saw was new. She'd kept everything harrowing from them.

"She was protecting you." I assuaged. "And she is back to that mindset where she cannot rely on anyone else." I reminded.

He accepted this, knowing I was right. "If you don't hurry up, I'm coming to get her," he warned, that teasing edge returning.

And there was the Garret we knew and loved. "I'll keep that in mind."

With that, I turned back to the task at hand. Jadea stood before me, head bowed. Ready.

Working my magic with the ropes, I hung her in a modified ebi-zuri style, so her back wasn't chafed by the ropes. Caden faded into a corner of the room, observing. After checking my handiwork, I reminded her what our agreed-upon conditions were: I would ask a question, then repeat myself if she didn't answer, then move to ten thwacks with a paddle, then twenty, and finally force an answer.

"How often did you harm yourself?" I knew this wasn't the question she wanted to answer, but I needed to know.

"One to two times a week." She admitted.

"What were your triggers?" The pads of my fingers moved over her silken skin. Loving the sight of her bound like this. I knew this question was harder, but it would give us more insight into what to look out for. At least, I prayed it did.

Swallowing hard, she replied evenly, "Sometimes they were in conjunction with my feelings surrounding Lucien. Sometimes about my missing memories. Other times, I felt overwhelmed by everything. Still, other times, there were no triggers. The pain gave me something else to focus on other than the endless pit of despair I was spiraling in."

So, anything could set her off. We needed to continue focusing on building her coping mechanisms and recognizing when she was falling into one of these episodes.

Placing a lingering kiss on her lips, I continued on. "How did you feel about taking Malik's punishment?"

"I felt good."

That wasn't what I'd been expecting.

A heavy sigh preceded her explanation. "The punishment was too harsh for the crime. It was a harmless prank involving a bucket of water precariously perched on a barn door. It wasn't intended for anyone in particular. Silas's beta was the unfortunate victim. And overreacted in my opinion. I was in the barn. I'd seen Malik set the trap. When Morgal started going off, I told Malik to hide in one of the stalls. When Silas demanded to know who was behind it, I took the fall. And I was glad I listened. I don't understand why such an innocent prank, pulled by a tween, would result in a lashing. It felt good to protect him."

"Do you think Silas knew?"

"Perhaps," she replied thoughtfully.

"How did you feel knowing Silas didn't tolerate such pranks?"

"It wasn't just the pranks he didn't tolerate. It felt like all fun was off limits. Or, perhaps, having too much fun. Some games were allowed. The pack was fond of playing soccer, corn hole and a few other outdoor games. However, if it got too loud or rowdy, it was immediately shut down. The instigators reprimanded. It made me feel sad, seeing such innocent joy and fun crushed."

There was something else. "Did Malik do something?"

She swallowed hard. "Yes. The night I was left on the post, he snuck out and rubbed salve on my back. He was crying, and apologizing. All I wanted to do was hug him and tell him it was alright. But, I knew it wasn't. I couldn't lie to him, knowing Silas's ire was so easily triggered."

"Did you see yourself in Malik?"

Nodding, she replied, "I did. While Silas wouldn't go flying off the handle and be overly abusive, he was harsh, strict and overbearing." There were some similarities between their childhoods, even if they weren't entirely comparable.

Popping a chocolate into her mouth, I praised her. She was doing well so far.

Though, we hadn't come to the really hard part. I'd felt her reservation earlier regarding the final punishment she'd received, and knew that was where she would struggle.

"You didn't give much detail about what led up to the last whipping." She'd skimmed over it, and I had to wonder why. Deep within her mind, I felt the self-loathing. What had Silas made her do? "What happened, baby girl?"

Her bottom lip trembled when she dragged in a shaky breath. Tears glistened in the corners of her closed eyes. Her turbulent emotions were so intense in the small room, it was hard not to react to them. Caden shifted, taking a few steps closer, hating this feeling of helplessness.

"What happened?" I asked a bit more sternly, wondering if I was going to have to physically force the answer from her.

"T-That night," she started, her whole body trembling with anxious energy. "The perimeter wolves came across someone and Morgal detained him. They didn't wait for morning to interrogate him. Silas dragged me out of bed, and demanded if I knew the wolf they'd found. They'd forced him to shift, and injected him with demon's blood to keep him compliant. The way they handled the situation, the way they worded their questions towards me, made it abundantly clear I should have known him."

Caden, a guarded expression clouding his face, slid nearer. His mind intimately connected with hers, though I didn't understand why he was so intently focused. What was he seeing that I wasn't?

"What did they want you to do, baby?" I asked calmly. My voice barely a whisper.

"They wanted me to kill him."

When I was about to ask what happened, her mind was suddenly flooded with the intimate details from that night. She'd repressed them...

***Flashback***

"Do you know him?" Silas demanded.

"No. Who is he?" She asked.

"An enemy," Morgal hissed, tossing a sword at her abruptly. She caught it right before it struck her face, growling at the beta in warning.

"What do you want me to do with this?" She asked Silas specifically.

"You need to kill him," Morgal's deep voice reverberated in the silence, sending tremors down her spine.

"Absolutely not," was her instant reply, throwing the sword to the ground.

"He is an enemy, Jadea," Silas insisted, picking up the sword and forcing it back in her hands.

"What are his crimes?" she demanded, rounding on Silas. His irritated gaze moved between her and Morgal, his expression and body language becoming more agitated. As if he, himself, was afraid.

But afraid of who?

"His crimes do not matter. All that matters is he is an enemy. You will kill him." Silas insisted fiercely.

With tears in her eyes, she shook her head. "I cannot. Please, do not ask this of me." She begged.

"You leave me no choice, child," he hissed disappointingly under his breath, pulling a serrated whip from his belt. "Shirt off."

"W-wait. Why are you doing this?" she demanded, pain and betrayal lacing her tone.

Before Silas could even think to answer, Morgal was there ripping her shirt off and forcing her to her knees. She fought, landing a few good hits before Morgal's much larger and stronger wolf knocked her flat on her back, her vision blackening. Searing pain jerked her into consciousness, her screams of agony filling the night as the serrated whip tore her back to shreds. Morgal's grip on her relentless.

When Silas' torment was complete, Morgal released her, and she fell to the ground in a heap of blood and tears.

"Jadea," Silas called, and deep within his tone there was a hint of shame. "Pick up the sword."

"If I don't?" She hissed, her red-hued gaze—full of fury and hate and disgust—landing on him.

Before Silas could answer, the captor spoke. "It's okay, Ms. Knight." Her gaze finally fell on the wolf in question. Haphazard, dirty blond hair stuck out in all directions. His hazel gaze intent on hers. They were unnervingly calm. As if he had already accepted his fate.

"Shut up!" Morgal roared, striking him so hard, he crumpled to the ground.

"Stop it!" Jadea's hoarse bellow was loud in the stillness of the night. She regained her feet, the sword held in her strong grip, aimed at Morgal.

He sneered, undaunted. "If you know what's good for you, you'll do as you're told."

"I'd rather die by your hand, than theirs." The prisoner whispered weakly, a deep understanding shining from his gaze. Forgiveness evident in their depths.

She knew what she had to do. Looking between Silas and Morgal, she had no choice. This was a test, and at the moment she was failing it.

Steeling her resolve, straightening her back, she demanded calmly, "He is an enemy?"

Silas nodded. "Yes."

Taking a deep breath, and closing her eyes, she said a silent prayer before running him through.