Her Broken Mind...

chapter 9

Unable to control myself Jez emerged as she pulled herself up from the bed the machines went crazy as she pulled the iv and monitor clips off her rage matching my own. The nurses rushed to usher me back into the bed but I wasn't here anymore Jez was and she wasn't someone that would listen to reason, especially when she wad this angry. She pushed past the nurse and stormed up to my nan and mum looking feral she screamed at them "you two both of you get the hell out of here and don't come back! You're not welcome in her life anymore your both the reason she's here in the first place! Your both toxic!" She panted her rage still seething. They went to open there mouths to argue. But Jez cut them off raising her hand to silence them "leave now. Before you end up on a ward of your own" her words were a hiss, cold and devoid of anything but angry and resentment. She picked Lily up and walked back to the bed. Both my mum and my nan looked at me pained as they turned to leave. Dr Manning approached me slowly in shock or fear I didn't know. But as the door closed behind my mum and nan Jez slipped back into her comfy lounge chair in my mind smug with herself. Dr Manning was looking at me, assessing me. When he saw that I was calm just holding Lily stroking her hair he finally spoke. "Her life? Shouldn't you of said my life?"

I looked up at him and nervously chuckled "did I say that?"

Dr Manning looked at me and took a calming breath before speaking very cautiously " Cassie I think you would really benefit from speaking to one of our specialist trauma counselors. I know it's hard to admit when you need help but that's what they're there for"

I sighed well done Jez I thought as I looked up at him my voice was small as I spoke "but I'm not a trauma victim" as the word victim came out of my mouth my voice cracked. Dr Manning looked at me his eyes never wavered "your in here because your own family mentally twisted things in your head they thought they was helping you but they was slowly breaking you piece by piece. For Lily's sake please accept our help Cassie"

I couldn't help it but tears began to fill my eyes as I swallowed back my remaining pride I looked up at Dr Manning and softly said "okay, I'll speak to one of them"

Dr Manning smiled warmly at me. "Thankyou Cassie for being brave and taking the first step to getting better"

Dr Manning left to go and arrange someone to come speak to me and as he left Eva came back into the room smiling at me "how's my favourite patient?" She said warmly

I smiled back "better thanks, how was your evening?" I chirped.

Eva laughed "I had more sleep than I'd had in months!"

Eva began checking my vitals and plugging everything back into me. Tutting as she hooked the iv and cables back up to me and I sheepishly grinned "sorry I kinda had a hulk moment" she laughed as she smiled at me and said "oh I heard, and well done girlie, they needed to hear it"

Lily had been playing in my lap this entire time focused on her colouring but as I looked downat her I noticed she'd fallen asleep. I looked over to my phone for the time 8pm. I sighed no wonder she'd fallen asleep. I looked over to Eva say in the chair next to me and asked quietly "did anyone give Lily dinner?" Eva nodded and I relaxed. I smiled and said "thankyou" as my stomach growled at me I realised I hadn't had my shake. Eva chuckled as she walked over to the mini fridge and pulled out two milkshakes one caramel and the other café latè shaking them she put them on the side along with a large glass. "Where did the mini fridge come from?" I asked curious as to how it even got here. She smiled "a lovely young man dropped it off for you saying somebody would loose a head if your milkshakes weren't cold" she chuckled and looked at me looking to see if I'd tell her who it was a smile crept over my face.

"Did he have dark brown hair, bright blue eyes and a light yet olive complexion?" I asked her my smile reaching my eyes. She nodded and said "yeah he was also quite tall but not like too tall and was muscular but not obviously so it was kinda odd really" she appeared lost in thought and I chuckled pulling her from her thoughts "yeah that's Paul, he's been my friend for a few years now"

She grinned at me "oooh friend or friiieeend" she teased stretching out the word friend. I laughed and said "just friends"

Her brow furrowed "your choice or his?" She asked quizzically.

I halted and thought briefly "it's mutual" I said more to myself than to her.

I started mixing my shakes in the glass so it's almost as though I have a caramel late and start to tentatively sip it. Eva studies me as I drink my shake and I relax as the familiar flavours dance on my tounge and I smile content. She smiles at my oddity and begins to start checking my stats. My vitals were back to normal now and with Lily asleep on my chest I felt content.

I knew Lily couldn't keep staying here with me, it wasn't fair to her but I knew that she was already missing school and falling behind. I couldn't let her suffer because I can't be without her. So as I looked over at my phone I thought deeply who I could trust to take her to school and make sure she's okay and safe whilst I got myself better for her. I had a large family. My mum and my nan were not options not after their pitiful display earlier fighting with the doctors. Yes they were right this is no place for Lily and she needs normality but they weren’t going to be the ones to give her that. And so with that I called my brother.

"Hey bud" I said as he answered

"What time am I picking Lily up?" I laughed Warren was always my go to he was always my favourite growing up and he was Lily's favourite too. It amused me how he just knew.

"When can you come get her?"

Eva looked up at me realising what I was doing. She smiled half-heartedly knowing that this was hard for me but I had to do this eventually.

Warren said, "I'll be there in 30 minutes, do you need anything?"

I paused and looked down at Lily sleeping in my arms. "Yeah, can you grab me my fluffy blanket off my bed?"

Warren grumbled "sure see you soon" as he hung up.

"You made the right choice" Eva spoke softly as she came to my bedside and put her hand on my shoulder as the tears silently rolled down my cheeks. I kissed Lily's head and stroked her hair as I waited for Warren to arrive.