Her Broken Mind...

chapter 5

I awoke to the noise of a steady beeping and in a single second I shot up "Lily!" I called out but I couldn't hear her I looked around in a panic I was in hospital "Lily!" I cried out as I started to pull out all the tubes and wires sending the machines into a frenzy alerting the nurses to my panicked state. "Calm down Miss Hughes please calm down" the nurse trying to calm me in a soothing voice tried to get me to sit down. Bewildered I looked at her "where's my baby? Where's Lily?" The nurse looked at me her soft features oddly calming "she's with your mum and your nan now please calm yourself we have to refit these now" she said gesturing to the things I had pulled out of me. I shook my head "No I want to go home I want to be with my baby. She must be terrified!" The nurse looked at me a knowing glint to her eye "eat something and I'll let you go home, I'll even get the doctor to sign the discharge papers myself".

"Ok" I say in a small voice "what do I have to eat?" She looked at me the utter dejection clear in my voice "what do you like?" She said softly I thought for a moment "um how about hard boiled egg and celery?" She looked at me and said "it has to be over 400 calories" I looked at her shock on my face "but why?" I asked looking confused "you was rushed in because you fainted from hunger and whilst your not at the dangerous level yet your still malnourished it's why your hair is brittle and your skin is practically like a ghost" she stated matter of factly. I looked at her. I looked at my hands and said "OK? Chicken salad with polish mayo instead of ceasar salad dressing" I knew I could eat the salad first and then the chicken after with the mayo and then when I got out I could pop to the loo and deal with it. She smiled at me "polish mayo?" There was a question in her voice. I looked at her and gave her my best fat kid smile going "its better than any mayo ever its called winiary majonez and it goes with everything from chicken to hot dogs it's great you should try it" she placed the order and they sent someone to get the mayo and when they came back with it my eyes widened the plate was huge. I looked at her panicked "I can't eat all of that" I said meekly she looked at me and said "try and see how much you can do and I'll talk to the doctor" the other nurse had her eyes on me and so I slowly began to eat with each bite knowing it brought me closer to my baby and closer to being able to purge. I ate the lettuce first taking slow deliberate bites then when I finished the lettuce the doctor came in with the nurse. "I'm so sorry I forgot my manners what's your name nurse?"

"I'm nurse Eva" she replied I looked between them and then the doctor introduced himself. "Good afternoon Miss Hughes I'm Dr Manning, I'll be overseeing your care during your stay here"

I looked at him and smiled "no need I need to get home to my daughter so when your ready with the papers just please let me know" he looked at me and sadness filled his eyes "we won't be discharging you tonight" I looked at him and I flew into a rage "how DARE you keep me here away from my daughter I am adult I am discharging myself with or without your consent" I felt dizzy again. I had exerted myself to much. And as I crashed back onto the bed my vision blackened and I passed out.