What Can’t Be Fixed

“You useless little s**t!!! Why were you ever born!!! If you didn’t exist then your mom would still be alive!!!” My father yelled at me as he smacked me with his belt repeatedly.  For me, if I’m lucky, this is a weekly thing. Once a week my father goes drinking, gets drunk, and comes home to t*****e me. Yes, t*****e. Not smack. Not beat. t*****e. He does this because it’s my fault my mom died. She does while giving birth to me. It was either me or her but everyone knew how kind she was so she chose me.   That ended days ago according to Nathanial, my brother. My name is Cronos, you know the god that ate all his kids? The evil one? Guess who named me? My father, I don’t mind because the only one who says my name is my older brother.    I have light brown hair and dark green eyes. My skin's light brown, and I have light freckles along my nose and cheeks. I’m 12 right now and people always say I’m super mature for my age, I wonder why…  anyway other than getting beat up I love to draw animals, especially big cats. My favorites are tigers and black panthers. I also love to play with legos. Whenever my brother doesn't want legos anymore he gives them to me and I make decorations for my room out of them. The only thing other than those in my room is my bed and a small dresser with few clothes in it.   But there’s this one thing that’s weird about me. Sometimes I’ll be sitting down in one spot then I’ll wake up in another with new scars or bruises. I always just assume that I just hadn’t noticed it until then. There’s one thing though, one time I woke up in another spot and realized it was days later. And I was in an unfamiliar room.   I went to go ask my brother where we were and found some strange people in a kitchen. I went through every room until I found my brother, Nathanial, he told me I had been acting strange for a week and called the cops on him. He explained that we were at a foster house until they could find us new parents. That brings us to where we are now.   “What do you mean I called the cops?! On HIM?! And we’re moving in with new people?! When did all of this happen?!” I yelled at him for answers, I get that I called the cops but I don’t remember doing that.   “2 days ago, on Monday, you and I got home from school. When you sat down to do homework you started acting weird. Even though you had just taken your homework out you only did 2 problems then put it away.” he explained.   “I remember THAT, I don’t remember anything after that though!” I tell him.   He looks at me as if I’m stupid or something. “After that you got up, put your homework away and grabbed a black backpack that was full and told me to go pack up our stuff. I understood but was confused as to how you were acting so confident and came up with this risky plan. I packed up and we were about to leave but then dad got home and beat you AND me for trying to leave.” He said.   “He hit you! Where?! Let me see! Are you okay?!” I ask frantically.   “Yes I’m okay, it’s situations like this that show you’re the older brother. And this is the reason that we haven’t got out till now.” He showed me small bruises all over his body, they were nothing compared to mine but I couldn’t even feel the pain anymore.   “Okay, let me finish the story. In the middle of him beating you I opened the door and told you to run, we ran while he chased us and luckily a cop was where we ran passed so he stopped our dad and after he called another officer to pick us up which brings us to where we are now. Other than the fact that you're normal now. What happened to you? Why were you acting strange?”   And that’s when the two people I saw in the kitchen came in.  With worried faces, as if they knew me.   “Who are they?” I ask Nathan.   “They’re the people who are gonna take care of us until they find us parents.” He tells me.   “Wait, he’s talking? Why don’t you know who we are?” The man says.   “Should I have known who you are?” I ask.   “Oh no, it’s worse than I thought, he doesn’t remember!” The lady frantically says.   “Remember? I’ve never met you before. All I remember from before today is that I was doing math homework than I appeared on a couch.” I say, clearly confused.   They look at my brothers unworried face, then at each other, then at me.   “Does this frequently happen?” The lady asks.   I’m not sure who she was asking though so I answered.   “Yes, not for this long though, my brother said that on the night we left I said I had an escape plan but don’t remember ever making a plan. I wouldn’t have dared to. HE would have found out. Usually it only happens for about an hour, or I’d wake up in bed, not remembering going to bed in the first place. Little things like that. Or sometimes in the middle of my father hitting me if go blank then realize that I’m in the bathroom with bandages on.” I tell them truthfully.    “We should probably go to the doctor to check the wounds again and to see what’s up with you. What’s your name?” The man asks.    I look at my brother with a glare, “You never told them? Now I have to explain!” I turn around to look at them with a pissed of look, but still smiled.   “Cronos, my name is Cronos.” They then give me a horrified look. That just makes me more mad, “Don’t look at me like that! It doesn’t matter! Where are my clothes so I can change? We’re going to the hospital right?”   “We didn’t bring any of it because all of it was ripped… We bought new ones though. They're in the room right to this one” the lady says.    I leave to get dressed, I put on a simple black hoodie, dark blue jeans,and black Nikes to cover up as many scars as possible. After that I head to the car, still mad. When we get to the hospital we first go to a room with a doctor already waiting for us. He checks my brother first just to make sure the bruises are going away then tells me to take my shirt off to look at my injuries, after all, I am the one that got hit the most. Taking my shirt off I get a glimpse at a scar in a mirror and wince at the sight. The word “murderer” carved into my skin. I stay silent and look down in shame.   The doctor looks at the injuries and when he’s finished he begins to ask the man questions.   “Has he shown any signs of pain or discomfort at home?” He asks.   “I don’t know, he didn’t really talk until today” The man responds.   “Oh, he’s talking? That’s good. So Cronos, any pain or discomfort?” He turns to me and asks.   “No. There hasn’t been in a while so...” I respond.   “What do you mean?” The doctor asks.   “When my father beat me I felt the hits, I felt the occasional bone c***k, I felt the skin rib and be cut but I only felt the pain while he hit me. Like if he punched me I’d feel the pain from the hit but right after his hand stopped touching me the pain turned into numbness.” I explained.   “Oh, I’ve never heard of that… Hmmmmm, well we can wait until all of your wounds heal then we can see what happens after that. From what I heard from Mark and Sarah is that you can’t remember the last anything past about 3 hours ago? Up until a couple of minutes of getting out of your old house, correct?”   So their names are Mark and Sarah… “Yes. I was doing homework and next thing I know I’m on a couch of a room I don’t remember ever seeing, much less sitting down in.” I tell him.    “Has this ever happened before?” The doctor asks.   “Yes but it’s only ever for about an hour. Like I’d be doing something, then later I wouldn’t remember doing it but then I’d go back to do it and it would be done. Or when my father would start yelling or hitting me I’d realize that what I think is seconds later I’d be in the bathroom already with bandages on.” I say.   “Hmmmm.... Ok… Do you ever hear voices or anything?” He asks.   “I don’t think so, most of the time I’m so wrapped up in school and doing everything for my father and staying as busy as possible at all times that I could have just not noticed it.” I reply. He then turns to my brother.   “Does he ever act strange, like he’s not himself? Like how he was yesterday. Or very energetic?”    And that's where my memory cuts off again. Other than slight clips of conversations.   “Can’t we just leave already? This place is boring as f**k and I want to go back to that house so I can sleep.” A voice that sounds like mine says.   “Cronos? What are you talking about?” I hear Sarah say.   I then feel my body getting up to leave. But Mark tries to take me back to sit down. Everything goes black for a moment then I feel my consciousness slowly come back. When everything becomes clear again everyone is looking at me.   “What?” I ask. They all look at each other and exchange a look that says ‘is this what you meant while I just look at them with the most confused face.   “Do you remember what just happened?” The doctor asks.   “All I remember is little parts. I remember someone saying that they wanted to leave and Sarah's confused voice..” I say.   “I think that might have been an altar. Other than that when Mark pulled you back after you tried to leave, the second he touched you, you elbowed him in the stomach.” The doctor says.   “Oh, I might have forgotten the fact that I hate being touched. Whatever an alter is, I think it agrees.” I say in embarrassment.   “That’s perfectly fine with what you went through. I think we should examine you for the next couple of days and confirm the diagnosis so we can start through the process of communication and control” the doctor says.   Over the next couple of days we got calls from the doctor and I didn’t switch once. Not until I went back to school did I switch.   I went back to school about 4 days later. The fist bit was ok because as usual, everyone ignored my existence. But when lunch happened, that’s what set me off. I was minding my own business, as usual, when Cole walked up to me with his henchmen and began giving me s**t. That’s when everything went black.