Monstrous

3

                                                                                        Nile Cale

    “Yo! You good? Who was that chic?!” Del screamed from behind me. I heard their footsteps run, trying to catch up with me and my long strides. I should’ve just ignored her. Why did I feel so inclined to speak to her? I ran the back of my hand roughly across my eyes, drying them of their lingering tears.

    “She’s no one..” I grumbled. The last thing I expected to see was her. I tried everything to distract my mind from Autumn, even flirting with a barista. My eyes would keep on darting back into her whenever she wasn’t looking.

    “Are you sure?-” Del, my friend since kindergarten who grew up in the same neighborhood as me but we went to different high schools, I hadn’t seen what kind of life he had fallen into until we reconnected a week ago. He caught up to me and threw his arm around my shoulder.

    “You better, you can get any girl you want. What’s she got that the other’s don’t have?-” Del asked, letting out a deep chuckle. Everything I don’t deserve.  My old-time friends and I walked down the street, while they drowned themselves in meaningless conversation. My mind was taken hostage by Autumn. Everything in my body told me to turn back, I wanted to be selfish and just tell her how I felt. In the time I was gone, she was happy. The smile on her face was genuine and wide. I should’ve just pretended to not see her. There was no way she could feel anything for me, the only thing in her eyes was pity. I had forgotten about her, I did. Her blue eyes would leave me stunned every single time with a rush of memories.

    “You think Marco still has the stuff?” I whispered to Del. He broke away from the conversation he was having with the other guys. He looked at me with uncertainty in his eyes. He brought me ahead of the group and nodded his head faintly.

    “You’ve been doing it for two weeks straight now. You said you would stop after a while” Del looked at me and I shrugged. I had nothing to lose. My interest in school had diminished along my desire in football. Knowing the disappointment I was to everyone around me, I couldn’t pick up their calls or listened to their voicemails. I spent my nights hanging out with the group of friends that weren’t necessarily a wonderful influence on me.  Adam had hated them. Even though we were all friends in middle school at some point, we had grown apart. Adam had rich parents who could send him off to the best schools. Del and Marco had absentee parents or parents who were barely making minimum wage. We didn’t have much of a choice but to fall into the darkness.

    After fifteen minutes of walking in the night, we had finally gotten to Marco’s house. Me, Del, and Marco had split up into a room away from everyone else. Immediately, I pulled off my sweater and threw it down onto the floor before dropping my body into the recliner chair. My arms stretched out onto the arm-rests and I threw my head back in some kind of last attempt to calm my emotions. Deep heavy exhales escaped my lips as Del wrapped a blue elastic band around my bicep tightly. Whenever Marco did the injection I couldn’t look, I would see the scarring from the previous injections and I would feel nothing but shame and regret for myself. 

    “h****n is a b***h, you know that Nile..” Marco had said that millions of times to me as some kind of warning, I pressed my eyes shut in irritation. Hesitancy littered his voice, my jaw tightened, I had grown more attached to the drug, more dependent. In the two weeks I had stopped going to school, I stopped smoking only to start shooting up. It made me feel like I could actually experience happiness in some kind of form. 

    “If you will not do it, I’ll just find someone else and you know I can” I grunted, growing more impatient.  Marco let out a soft scoff, then there was silence in the room once again.

    “Just give it to him..” Del said in a sigh, he knew that I could walk out of this place and find anyone who could do this for me. I’ve done it myself a few times but my hands have become too uneasy. Marco’s footsteps had approached me and I felt his body next to the arm I was slowly losing feeling from. I waited a few seconds more before I inhaled sharply, the cold needle had penetrated my skin, and from there was a euphoric high that I had grown addicted to every time it pulsed my veins. 

                                                                        The next day in the afternoon

    “NILE! WAKE UP!-” A guy’s voice screamed out, it was unrecognizable and faded, but I sensed the urgency. 

    “WHAT THE f**k DID YOU DO TO HIM?-” Another voice cried out, it felt like I was underwater and all the sounds were inaudible. My eyelids feel heavy like concrete, it felt like an impossible task but finally I was able to open them. Everything in my field of view was blurred, I saw movement around the room. I didn’t know where I was, nothing was being processed in my mind. My entire body felt limp, if anything it was like I had no control over my muscles. There was a rapid beating in my chest that just began to hurt. What was happening to me?

                                                                                    Adamson Prince

    “Nile, you gotta stay awake alright?!” I never felt this much panic and fright ever in my life, I didn’t think I needed to. I was born in a tough spot with parents who barely made anything, as the years went by, things got better, great even. My family was my greatest joy, I loved them more than anything, even my bratty sister. There was this one person, I felt unconditional love for, it was like we were made to be best friends, brothers even. He was always there, I remember meeting him at a daycare once, then a few weeks after that he was rummaging through my refrigerator deep in the night. I don’t remember a life without Nile. So when I got a call from Del that there was something wrong with him, I dropped everything and I came here as fast as I could to find him foaming from the mouth with a needle in his arm, sprawled out on the ground. I thought he was dead. It took everything in power to hold back from completely breaking down. Hunter was with me along with Jacob, they were having a screaming match with those thugs we once considered friends, why the f**k was he hanging out with them? As much as I wanted to lecture him, I needed to make sure that he would be okay. Nile’s pupils were small and his eyes were open but I don’t think he could respond to me. 

    “Such a f*****g i***t you know that?” I got onto the ground and picked his face up from the ground. His face was clammy and pale, a slight nod came from his head and I chuckled knowing Nile hated when I called him names, I let a few tears drop from my eyes, looking at him just made me think how we’ve come from being the kids that wouldn’t even think about drugs, or parties, the only thing that mattered was our friendship, and I was losing a grip on it.

    “What the f**k did you give him! Go call 911!” I screamed, I turned to look at Del and Marco who just stood there dumbfounded staring down at Nile who was inching away from life with every second they decided to waste. My anger replaced my sadness knowing that they were the ones who did this. My rage rose to unhealthy levels until it exploded 

    “NOW!” I screamed, they both flinched at my holler. It took Jacob and Hunter shoving them to break into action, Marco pulled out his phone and his shaky hands dialed 911. My attention turned back to Nile, my thumbs ran over his cheeks. I needed him to know that I was not going to let him end up like this. I turned Nile onto his side, I began to remember the steps they taught us during freshman year health class about helping someone who could possibly be overdosing. To think this little fucker fell asleep during that segment of class. As vomit began to fall from his mouth and onto the dingy carpet my hand rubbed gently over his back and I couldn’t help but break down seeing him like this. Endless tears stream down my cheeks at the thought of me losing him.

    “You’re going to be okay, I promise..” I whispered

                                                                                    Nile Cale

    “Please, just don’t tell anyone. If he goes at it again, I’ll bring him to rehab myself. Just please..” Adam’s voice was the first thing I heard, and when I opened my eyes I was met with a bright light shining down at me. I felt like utter s**t, a small groan escaped my lips as I began to move my eyes around the room I was in.

    “Fine Adamson-” An unrecognizable voice said, my eyes landed on Adam who closed the door after the face of a doctor I couldn’t make out. f**k, I brought my hand up to my head as the heavy pounding began. I was in a hospital room, with an IV needle in my arm. The room smelt like hand sanitizer and flowers. As Adam turned away from the door we locked eyes, his green emerald orbs were red and puffy. He looked away from me as he walked further into the room, my eyes came across Jacob who was crouched over the end of the hospital bed fast asleep and Hunter was sprawled out on the couch also letting sleep conquer him. 

    “A-Adam? What happened? W-What did you do?” Adam, who had his arms crossed over his chest, stopped and finally turned to look at me. I couldn’t tell if it was sadness or disgust in his eyes when he looked at me, maybe it was relief.

    “What the f**k did I do? What the f**k were you doing shooting up h****n?!” The holler woke up Jacob and Hunter. The headache  worsened at his increased volume, I’d never seen him this angry before, this kind of anger was different, it was lined with fear and desperation. 

    “You could’ve died, and your so called friends? The ones giving you that s**t, ditched you the minute I called the police! Do you know what it felt like for me, seeing you like that!-” I sat up fully on the bed and sucked in a breath, wrapping an arm around my stomach. Hearing his voice c***k with pain made me realize what I had done. The fear that shined in his eyes, made me feel even worse. Adam’s eyes welled with tears that dropped down to his reddened cheeks, he used the back of his hand to quickly wipe them away.

    “I-I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what to do anymore-” Adam approached the side of the bed standing by the side of it as the words spilled from my lips. Yesterday night after the high had come down, I told myself that I would stop but I just started thinking, and the more I thought about everything the more I hated myself, and the possibility of me being happy seemed impossible so I just thought maybe if I shot up one more that It would be enough. I didn’t think it would lead me to hurting the people around me.

    “Did you do it on purpose?! Did you try to kill yourself!?” Adam screamed, my bottom lip trembled as my heart raced in my chest. Hunter and Jacob had failed attempts in trying to calm Adam down but it was no use, there was so much anger in his eyes that was no calming him down, 

    “I don’t know, I think so. I don’t know what’s wrong with me Adam, I’ve tried to be happy but it’s like everyone around me is worthy of love and happiness while I’m here suffering, and I deserve it. I’m nothing but a burden, maybe everyone is better off with me gone-” I just broke, everything I tried to hold inside just exploded is tears that ran down my cheeks unwillingly. Wiping them away was useless because they would just be replaced. Adam’s face that was filled with anger softened, his eyes widened at my answer, he shook his head before pulling me into his arms and I just wept uncontrollably. Jacob and Hunter would soon join in on the embrace, and for once, I let them see my vulnerability. They didn’t judge me or laugh in my face, they accepted me with every flaw.

                                                                                    The next day 

    “Wake up!” My eyes snapped open as Adam’s voice rang through my ears, a small groan escaped my lips. Adam’s mom discharged me from the hospital, she told me that she wouldn’t tell me mother if I swore to get better and stop the drug use. Adam put a bunch of disgusting smoothies into my system.  The cravings had already begun kicking in as soon as I left the hospital last night. Even though Adam wanted me to get back on school, his mom insisted that I stay home so she could take care of me. After what felt like hours throwing up and muscle aches, Addison put me to bed in Adam’s room. Adam had grabbed a spare pillow and swung it onto my side. 

    “f**k Adam! I’m up!” My body had shot up from the bed. As I placed my feet onto the ground, my head began to spin and I felt something come up from the back of my throat. 

    “You look like shit..” Adam said as I stood up and turned to face him. I stood only in my boxers and socks. I forced a smile to my lips as he threw his bag onto his bed. He walked over to his closet and opened it up.

    “Get dressed, we’re going out..” Adam threw a pair of gray sweatpants at me with a white short sleeved t-shirt.  I didn’t bother catching them because Adam just wanted an excuse to throw something at me. He was still angry with me, Adam tossed over a pair of sneakers and a gray hoodie before finally turning away from his closet. I shot a glare over at him before picking up the sweatpants from the ground and slipping them on.

    “Where are we going?” I asked as I let the sweatpants hang low on my waist, I pulled the shirt over my head and tugged it down. Adam who had somehow gotten a hold of my backpack, I didn’t even know where I last left it, picked it up from the ground and threw it at me, luckily if I hadn’t caught it it would’ve been a concussion.

    “I packed up all of your textbooks, we have tests lined up tomorrow, so we are going to a study group” I set my bag onto the ground and picked up the hoodie from the ground and pulled it over my head. I chuckled at the thought of us at a study group full of nerds, it was comedic.

    “When was the last time we’ve been to a study group? I’m not going” I smirked as I stepped into the shoes that were on the ground. I crouched down onto the ground and laced them up. I would rather do something else, maybe hang out with Stella or just watch television.

    “Remember you promised me that you wouldn’t take drugs, you said you wouldn’t let anything come in between our friendship, our brotherhood, I was fine with weed. You want to f**k up your life? Fine, but don’t expect me to come to your funeral. I hav-” I shot up from the ground tired of hearing of how much of a disappointment I was to him. I lifted my bag up from the ground and slipped my arms through the straps.

    “Alright! I get it, I’ll go..” Adam smirked at his success to make me feel like s**t. He grabbed his bag from the bed and turned towards the door. 

    “Good. Now don’t make a fuss about where we are going and be a good boy” He teased as I followed behind him out of his bedroom. My eyes narrowed at him at the possible location of our study group and who it would be with, probably people from the debate team, chess club. I grinned to myself and shrugged. I got this.

    “f**k no” My jaw clenched and I refused to even look out the window. Adam turned off the ignition of his car and he looked at me with a risen eyebrow. My head shook as I slouched in the seat.

    “Okay I know you two have issues, but we all are going to be focused on studying. Her parents aren’t even home, it’ll just be a small group..” I continued to shake my head at his words. My heart already began racing out of my chest at the thought of seeing her.

    “I can’t be around her, I just can’t..” Adam narrowed his eyes at me trying to peer into my soul. I wasn’t ready to be around Autumn, especially not like this in the middle of withdrawal. The puerile crush I had on Autumn began to affect me. Was it a crush? I don’t even know what I felt for her at this point.

    “Did something happ-?” Adam’s eyes widened mid sentence, he looked out the window at her house then back at me.

    “You’re the one who left the party with her! I had wondered where you had gone, Nile did you guys-?” A shocked expression fell onto his face. I wasn’t ready to confront my feelings with Autumn, I certainly wasn’t ready to discuss them with Adam. Before he spoke another word I clicked off my seatbelt and opened the car door. I swung my back over my shoulder before slamming the door behind me. I can do this. I heard Adam slam his car door, his footsteps running up behind me. 

    “Nile, you’re f*****g blushing!” Adam whispered with a smirk on his lips, my eyes rolled as we walked up the pavement path, inching closer and closer to her house. Adam rubbed his forehead looking at me.

    “f**k, when me and Autumn kissed. Did you like her?” Adam asked, referring to the time I threw Autumn into the pool, the thought of her lying unconscious made me sick, I ignored his question but my annoyance grew, I walked up her porch steps and sent my fist banging on her door. I just wanted an escape from this conversation.

    “This makes so much more sense, I don’t get how you would like her, I mean Nile you practically made her life a living hell-” Adam said in a hushed tone, not being able to take anymore of his ramblings I snapped my head towards him.

    “I DON”T f*****g LIKE HER!” I screamed hurting my throat in the process, Adam looked at me with wide eyes and pressed his lips firmly together before looking away from me.

    “Hey Autumn, we are here for the study group..” Adam brushed past me, what I didn’t hear was the door opening. My eyes pressed shut hoping she hadn’t heard my outburst, reluctantly I turned back to face her. It was like she got better and better every time I saw her, she leaned her head against the door. She had her hair tied up in a high pony-tail, the paleness of her skin was no longer apparent, it was now a peachy-pink mixed with a light tan. She had on a black oversized long sleeve shirt that rested right above her thighs. Of course she pulled the sleeves past her finger tips and balled the fabric in her hands, exposing her shoulders in the process.

    “I don’t remember extending an invite to you..” She said with a slight smirk. All of her attention was on Adam, it was like I didn’t even exist. I shouldn’t be here. Adam looked at Autumn then turned to look at me, he shrugged not knowing how to answer and he expected for me to have one and I shook my head faintly. 

    “Well I know for a fact Maddie is here and we’re twins, we come as a package deal and-” Adam turned back to Autumn who slowly raised her eyebrow at his bogus explanation. Adam reached behind him to latch onto my wrist and he yanked me to stand beside him

    “Nile is my plus one. As you know he wasn’t here for some time so he needs to catch up, but he is probably the smartest out of all you kids combined so..-” Adam motioned inside. I stood there uncomfortably waiting for Autumn to slam the door in our faces. For a split second she looked at me then back at Adam and sighed gently.

    “We’re in the living room, and take off your shoes before you step onto the carpet..” Autumn exhaled deeply before opening the door and stepping off to the side and extending her arm welcoming us into her home. She refused to look at me as if the sight of me disgusted her. It didn’t feel right stepping into her house.