Her Future

Chapter Eighteen (part two)

It had been a year since he had last seen her, when he came back to test the waters and attended his brothers wedding, Wyatt was adorable and he fell for him quickly and jake had taken a liking to him as well contsantly wanting to hold the baby boy and play with him. Jake was an only child he had lived with a woman who neglected him and spent more time with men than with her own child, he had won the case almost instantly. Now he had his son and it was time to finally go home, Jake had been asking about Milly almost everyday since he won custody of him.

He didnt have the heart to keep telling him no when he loved her so much, she was equally just as crazy about him, he could imagine she missed him just as much. He regretted what he did to her the whole year he had been away, he had lied to her and left her when he should have just taken her with him, he knew she would have gone with him, he had just had it in his head he had to do this alone.

Jake and he had packed all of their stuff and loaded it into his truck and trailer and headed back to the house in Newport he would regain the roll as chief of police, and he would slip back into life as it had been plus a child 24/7. And he would figure out what to do about Milly he had to apologize to her, he had wanted to at the wedding but she avoided him every turn he had gotten, and when all three of them had cornered her she had left, pretty upset. He wanted to make amends he loved her, he wanted her back, but he couldnt force her.

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Milly knew he was on his way back, October had informed her after he called her wanting to find Dean, who was at the moment with his son on the beach playing. Wyatt was almost a year old now and he was running everywhere instead of walking, and October? Well she had another baby on the way her belly yet again round with their second child a little girl this time, her name to be Milly Ray. She couldnt wait to hold her second god child, and she thought back to Jake.

She missed his little chubby cheeks and his huge laugh just like his daddies when you would tickle him. She wasnt to sure if she missed James, it had been a year and she hadnt seen or heard from him since the wedding when she ran out to get away from them all, she hadnt wanted to, Jake on the other hand wouldnt take no for an answere when they came down, when he wasnt with Wyatt he was with her. Then they had to leave and little man promised he would be back and he would play with her everyday. The thought making her smile. 

"What do you think now of James being around full time again?" October asked her.

"I dont know im not as panicked as i was before, more looking forward to Jakie." she said talking about the boy.

"He does love you quiet a bit." October commented watching her friend smile thinking of the boy, she was quite crazy about him as well.

For a few hours they just talked and when the two boys got back she played with Wyatt until he was to tired to function, he cried out to his mother who cooed and picked him up taking him to his room to sleep. Deans phone went off and he looked at the message, when he was done reading it he looked up at Milly with a sad smile and said, "James has arrived home." he told her.

Her heart jumped, "Thats nice." she said playing it cool but everytime he was mentioned her heart broke a little more, she had been sure a year ago he had loved her, he was so gental with her even when it was fast and rough he had always wanted her around and she had stayed at his place alot, they had late nights with movies late nights with s*x she had gone with him on patrol she had watched Jake when he had to work and had his boy. The way he looked at her told her he loved her, but he wouldnt tell her, and when she asked he told her he never did, and right there ruined her life with any other man.

Men could be heartless, cruel, and only wanted you around when you needed something she thought to herself. She couldnt and wouldnt let another man touch her, there had been only one man and he had left with her will to want anyone else.

She was off in la la land when Dean hollered at her, startled she snipped, "What?!"

He laughed, "He is coming over." he said to her.

Getting up fast she said, "I'll leave." grabbing her cloths she started to head for the door.

"No Millz, Jake wants to see you he has been asking to see you for hours now when they would get back." he told her making her stop and look at him, "Their on their way over so he can see you."

"Oh." she said and breathed a sigh of reliefe. "Just keep his dad busy?" she asked her best friend.

He nodded, "Will do, best i can." he stated.

They heard the knock at the door and Milly stiffened going to the fridge for a beer, it was going to be a long dinner. "MILLY?!" came a little scream and her heart sored, her boy was here.

"Jakie?!" she hollered back making the boy laugh and run at her screaming and she did the same to him, it was their thing, she hugged him like she hadnt seen him in years, "I've missed you Jake-a-bob." she told him and he gave her a kiss, making her smile turn bright.

"Daddy is here to Millz." he said to her pointing at daddy.

Milly looked over and nodded, "Hey James." she said to him.

James looked at her, she was beaming at his son, making his heart flutter with love, how could he have denied her, how could he have been ok with taking off with out her and breaking her the way that he had, when she turned her eyes to him, they were sad cold and distant from his, not the same Milly he had grown up with, the one he had made love to. This was a Milly who wouldnt pay him attention. He missed his Milly. "Hey." he said back in a soft voice, watching her eyes flutter a bit as she looked away and smiled at his son.

Jake decided to me cute, "Wont you kiss her daddy? You havent kissed her yet." he said looking up to his dad after Milly put him down.

She looked at him Horrified at what came out of his mouth. And horrified at what came out of James's mouth, "Would Milly let Daddy kiss her for Jake." he asked her, not realizing he said it and not realizing he wanted just that right now so despratly.

Milly's eyes got colder as she looked at him, then she gave Jake a sad loving smile, "No Jake, daddy and i cant kiss anymore, were just friends and friends dont kiss." she told him rubbing his thick hair, so much like his fathers.

Jake pouted, "Ok, but i wish you were kissable friends again." he said 

"It will be alright Jake im still your Milly and your still my Jakie." she said bending down to kiss him, "And i have lots of kisses for you." she said smiling as she smooched his face making him giggle.

"Groooossssss cuuuuudies" he said to her laughing and running away to find his aunt.

They all laughed as he ran hollering for October the cutie romover queen is what he liked to call her, "Do you want a beer James?" Dean asked, "October and are girlling burgers and hot dogs." he said to his brother.

"That would be nice." he said. They watched Dean walk into the kitchen James turned to Milly, "Milly, can we talk?" he pleaded.

She looked at him and said, "We have nothing to talk about unless it has to do with James," then she turned with her beer to go find her friend, leaving James standing here staring at her.

Thats how Dean found him when he came back, "Did you scare her off again?" he asked James.

James nodded, "She wont give me the time of day." he said to his brother.

"What do you expect James you've know here our whole lives, plus you left her after getting into her pants." he stated.

James gave his brother a glare, "It wasnt f*****g like that Dean." he said to him.

Deans eyes narrowed at him, "Dont get a tude with me dude, you are the one who burned your bridges with her, find a way to fix your f**k up." he said to him.

James sighed and said, "I'm sorry." 

Dean hugged him, "Dont worry about it and lets just have a good night." he said to him.

And they did, Milly still hadnt said much to him but for Jake and everyone else she wasnt rude, she wasnt the same Milly either, she didnt joke like she used to and her mouth didnt run like it used to also, he missed that. Somehow he will find a way to put that spunk back into her.

Milly almost couldnt take him staring at her anymore, when dinner was finally done she told everyone she was going to head home, everyone was ok with it but Jake, begging her to stay with them then crying when she had to tell him it wasnt going to happen like that anymore but he could stay with her anytime, knowing tonight he wouldnt be able to he cried more and clung to her.

When she got him to settle down she told him that after work the next day she would come and get him and they would play on the beach with Wyatt and auntie October, at that he smiled and said ok, excited for the next day to come, he gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek and told her good night and she did the same, the love she had for this boy was beyond what she had for anything else, it was as if he was her own child she had spent time since James's ex wife had left him untill a year ago helping raise him. James was nothing more than extatic to know his daddy and her were together, and that she would have lots of sleep overs with him.

So seeing his little face crushed because of the actions of his father hurt her more than what her father had. She wanted to cry but she held back until she walked outside and started the walk home, the weather was getting nicer and her tears were flowing, so when she heard James call her name she groaned and wiped them away, praying it was dark enough he couldnt see her tears. "What do you want James?" she asked him as he approched her.

"I just needed to say a few words." he told her walking up to her.

As he got closer she stepped further away from him her eye c****d at him, "And what might that be?" she asked voice cold.

It was almost cold enough to freeze him if she had the ability to. "I'm sorry Milly, for everything, for what I've done to you, i need you to know that," he said despratly.

She nodded, "Ok." then she turned and started walking.

"Damn it Millz, stop walking away from me!" he yelled at her.

Furious she spun around, "Dont yell at me, you dont get to ask me for s**t James YOU LEFT you chose to walk away when i would have stayed by your side through this, you hurt me pretty badly and you didnt care, and we hurt your son, and that above all pisses me off more." she said to him.

"I know I will make it up to him, how can i make it up to you?" he asked her.

She laughed bitterly, "You cant make it up to me i***t, just stay away from me unless it has to do with Jake, you may have moved back and slipped right in to the same routine as before but you wont weasle your way back into me just to tear me apart again when you feel like it, right now i have to make it up to your kid, so with that said i have nothing more to say to you until i pick him up tomorrow if that is alright with you." she said to him.

He sighed knowing she wouldnt budge from where she was at right now, "You know it has always been fine with me, why would i deny my child his favorite person?" he asked her.

She shrugged, "I have no idea, you denied me mine." she said and turned and walked away.

What she said couldnt have cut him any deeper, he was her favorite person, so was his son, and he had taken both from her for a long time. Milly loved so deeply and she held on so tight to everything she held dear and everything she loved, he had ripped that away from her as if he had died in front of her eyes.

Was even more sure now that he f****d up then what he was before, only now he wasnt sure if he could get her back or make it right with her, all he knew is that he wanted her back, he had wanted her the moment he had left town not even giving her the curtosy of saying good bye. He had been a coward and he just left, scared that if he had seen her again he would have caved and begged her to forgive him like he was attempting to do now. As he watched her walk away with her arms hugging her, he kicked himself, he had became the man he promised himself he never would become. Other than cheating on her he had done the same thing his ex wife had done and he had left her when she needed him, he didnt know if he could fix that, so he would just give her a couple of days, then he would try again.