Just A Dream : Fall for You

Chapter 12

“Anong gagawin natin, Kuya Keith? Mukhang nakakahalata na si Ate Justine,” nababahalang tanong ni Simone, sa nakatatandang kapatid.

Nasa kanilang bahay sila ngayon, nakaupo sa sofa at nag-uusap. Nabanggit na niya ang tungkol sa bagay na ito sa kanilang magulang na ngayon ay bumista at nag-aasikaso kay Justine.

“Alam ko na mangyayari ‘to. Matalino si Justine. And I’m sure na malalaman niya rin na nagsisinungaling tayo kahit na hindi natin sabihin ang totoo,” puno ng pangamba at takot na sambit ni Keith, habang hinihilot ang sentido. “Pero hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang dapat nating gawin kung sakali nga na malaman niya ang totoo. Natatakot ako sa puwedeng mangyari sa kaniya, at iyon ang ayaw ko na mangyari.”

“I’m also worried for her,” Arlene said while she gently massages Keith’s tense shoulder. “Pero kayo ang higit na nakakakilala sa kaniya. And knowing Justine, I’m sure na maiintindihan niya kung bakit natin ‘to ginagawa, ‘di ba? Sa ‘yo na rin mismo nanggaling na matalino si Justine. So let’s trust her, and pray that she will understand everything we did,” malumanay at puno ng pagkalingang pagpapatuloy ni Arlene.

“We don’t know what might happen, but. . .” mahinang usal ni Keith matapos marahas na bumuga ng hangin. “Let’s just hope that we can settle this up without hurting her that much. Alam naman natin na masasaktan at masasaktan siya sa ginagawa natin, but for now let’s keep this all up. Lalo na at mabilis ang progress ng recovery niya.”

…

An unknown cell phone number keeps on calling Sean’s phone, that’s why Jean instructed him to answer the phone thinking that it might be urgent.

“Huwag na. Hindi ko naman kilala kung sino ‘to. I’ll just turn off my phone.”

“Sira ka ba? Paano kapag tumawag sa ‘yo ang company na inaplayan mo last week? At saka, anong malay natin, baka job offer ‘yan, ‘di ba? Kaya sige na sagutin mo na iyan,” pagpupumilit ni Jean nang alisin niya ang brasong nakayakap sa nobyo.

Wala namang nagawa si Sean kung hindi ang sagutin ang tawag.

“Hello? Sean!” a familiar voice greeted him cheerfully from the other line.

“Justine, napatawag ka?” gulat na tanong ni Sean matapos makilala ang boses nito.

And when he mentioned Justine’s name, Jean looked at him with her sharp eyes, as if she was throwing thousands of daggers right at him.

“Gusto lang kasi kitang makausap. Ang tagal mo na kasing hindi dumadalaw. Pasensya na kung naabala kita, busy ka ba?” malungkot ang boses na tanong ni Justine.

“H-hindi naman. P-pasensya na kung hindi kita nadadalaw,” nauutal niyang sagot habang ang mga mata ay nakatuon sa nobya.

“Okay lang. Sean, puwede ka bang dumalaw dito bukas? Sila Simone kasi gustong i-celebrate ang one hundredth day anniversary ng paggising ko. Okay lang ba sa ‘yo? At saka kung puwede isama mo rin sina Jean at Chuck. Kung pwede lang naman. Please?” sunod-sunod na tanong ni Justine.

Ilang segundong natigilan si Sean bago niya nagawang ibuka ang bibig.

“Can we go there?” he whispered to Jean, and she just nod to him as her response.

“O-oo naman. Pupunta kami diyan bukas.”

“Aasahan ko iyan, ha! Hihintayin ko kayo rito bukas. Salamat ng marami, Sean,” masiglang tugon ni Justine sa binata. 

Kahit na hindi ni Sean nakikita si Justine, ay nararamdaman niya base sa boses nito na masaya ang dalaga at nakangiti.

“Okay lang ba talaga sa ‘yo na bisitahin si Justine, bukas?” he asked Jean worriedly, right after the phone call ended.

“I don’t know, but somehow I want to see how she was doing. And it will be our last visit,” puno ng lungkot ngunit may diin na sagot ni Jean.

“Okay, but are you sure that you want to go?” muli niyang tanong sa nobya.

“Oo nga. Kaya huwag ka ng makulit. Okay,” Jean confirmed while she smiled at him weakly.

Thus, while he was on his way home after their date, he called Chuck and told him about the invitation for tomorrow. He also thought that it might be the right time for him to break up with her officially. Even though it was hard for him, it broke him while his conscience slowly ate him up.

“I will just look for a perfect time to tell her,” he whispered.

The next day they visit Justine. Unfortunately, Chuck can’t make it, because he has a lot of works to do. That’s why he asked them to pass his regards to her.

“Sean! Jean!” Justine called them cheerfully when they entered her room.

“Long time no see, Justine. Kumusta ka na?” Jean asked while faking her smile. 

“Okay lang naman ako, ikaw kamusta ka na? Namiss kita alam mo ba 'yon?” Justine said as she slowly approached Jean with the help of her wheelchair.

“Y-yeah. Namiss din kita,” Jean replied, stuttering and avoiding Justine’s gaze.

“Siya nga pala, Justine. Hindi makakapunta ngayon si Chuck. Busy kasi siya,” Sean interrupted when he saw that Jean, can’t look nor converse with Justine.

“Ganoon ba. Sayang naman, hindi tuloy tayo kumpleto ngayon,” Justine said in a low tone but enough for them to hear. He can see that she was disappointed in Chuck’s absence.

Keith, Arlene, Simone, and even their parents were there to celebrate too. That’s why it makes him feel awkward to be with them, especially with Simone, Keith, and Arlene. Because they were the only ones there who knew about him and Jean, he was sure that Jean felt the same since their relationship was not the same as before.

He and Jean are about to leave after one whole day of celebration when Justine, asked him to stay a bit longer. When he turns in Jean’s direction, their eyes meet instantly. Thus, he immediately made an excuse to decline Justine, and luckily it worked. 

 They are already waiting for a taxi to come and pass by when he notices that he left his phone in Justine’s room; that’s why Sean tells Jean to wait for Sean as he goes back inside the hospital to get his phone back. He was just a meter away from Justine’s room when he saw Simone leaning at Justine’s room front door crying, and sobbing while trying her best to keep her sobs silent.

“Bakit ka umiiyak, is there something wrong?” nagaalalang tanong ni Sean kay Simone.

But Simone didn’t answer him, and when he was about to place his hand on Simone’s shoulder to comfort her, he heard something from Justine’s room that Sean wished he shouldn’t have heard.

“Ano ba naman! Bakit ba ayaw n’yong makinig sa akin? Bakit ba hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin magawang lumakad? Bakit ba hindi ko kayo maigalaw! Paano ko pa magagawang manatili sa tabi ni Sean, kung magiging imbalido at pabigat lang ako sa kaniya. . . How can I stay by his side and love him if I’m like this? Why did this happen to me? Bakit ba napakabobo ko at hinayaan kong mangyari sa akin ‘to? Why!” Justine wailed as they could hear her agony and pain. 

They can clearly hear her sobs and frustration as they can hear Justine, slamming her fist on her bed.

“Ever since you started visiting her after she woke up. . .” Simone finally spoke, still sobbing as she wiped her tears away. “She began to work hard on her physical therapy and rehabilitation. She even requested therapy during nights after you visited her. Because, she wants to be able to walk again, for you. Ate Justine, is working so hard for you. You’re the reason why she keeps looking forward to each day and to do her best to be able to walk again. . .”

“But, when you suddenly stopped visiting her, she suddenly got depressed. But, on the contrary, her eagerness rose high. To overcome her depression, she stays in the therapy room almost all day, saying that she should do it for her to be able to walk again. To walk on the same road with you, to continue and make your dreams come true. And that’s what I hate the most about Ate Justine.” 

“Ano ba ang nakita ni Ate Justine, sa ‘yo at ganiyan na lamang kalaki ang pagmamahal niya para sa ‘yo. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. Nahihirapan na ako na magsinungaling sa ate ko. Pero kailangan para mapabilis ang paggaling niya. . . Hindi ko na alam naguguluhan na ako,” mahabang sambit ni Simone, habang nakatingin sa sahig na para bang naroon ang sagot na hinahanap niya.

“I’m sorry,” that’s all Sean can say on that situation. Dahil wala siyang mahanap na tamang salita para sa sitwayon nila ngayon.

And right after he heard what Simone had said, sa isang iglap ay naguluhan siyang bigla sa nararamdaman. He knew that it was as clear as crystal to him that he was only staying by Justine’s side and pretending in front of her because he was guilty. And he thinks that it was his responsibility to help her in her recovery.

But now he doesn't understand his true feelings are for her anymore. Para bang lahat ng pinagsamahan nila noon ay nanumbalik sa kaniyang isipan na parang isang high-definition movie. Even the feelings and emotions he felt during those days when he was with Justine, happily enjoying their high school days.

He doesn’t even know how to react after hearing all of those. Sean can still hear from where they are standing that Justine was still crying so hard. And the more he hears her cry in pain, the more he feels guilty.

Guilty for not making it on time before and lying to her all this time since she woke up. Sean couldn’t stand it anymore, and he couldn’t keep himself from standing there and listening to her while she blamed herself for what had happened. He felt his chest tightens as he continued standing there, while Sean remained rooted in place as her sobs filled their ears while he began to forget that Jean was patiently waiting for him.

Hindi na kinaya pa ni Sean, ang manatiling nakatayo lamang sa labas, kaya naman nagdesisyon na siyang pumasok sa loob ng kuwarto ni Justine, upang patahanin ito at aluin. He want to wipe her tears away.

Justine was taken aback by surprise when she saw Sean, entered her room. But despite the shock on her face, she managed to look away before he met her gaze. Sinubukan niyang itago ang namumugtong mga mata dahil sa kakaiyak.

“A-akala ko ba uuwi ka na? B-bakit nandito ka pa?” Justine asks him while stuttering in between her sobs.  She keeps looking outside, trying to hide her tears away.

“Uuwi na sana ako. Pero naiwan ko ‘yong phone ko rito. Kaya bumalik ako para kunin ‘yon,” sagot ni Sean, habang pinagmamasdan si Justine. 

Inoobserbahan ni Sean, ang bawat kilos ng dalaga, kaya naman hindi nakatakas sa kaniyang paningin ang pasimple at mabilis nitong pagpunas sa sariling luha.

“Ayos ka lang ba?” nababahalang tanong niya.

“Really, Sean? Are you asking her if she was alright when you can obviously see that she’s not!” a small voice inside his head fumed at him.

“Oo. Ayos lang ako,” pilit na ginawang normal ni Justine, ang kaniyang boses upang hindi mapansin ng binata ang pagiging garalgal nito. “By the way, you said you left your phone here, right?” Justine continued while maintaining her tone calm. And then, she reached for the table beside her bed where Sean’s phone at. “Then, sa ‘yo itong phone na ‘to, tama ba?” she asked while she handed him his phone.

“Don’t tell me that she saw through my phone what date is it today? Did she see my screen saver? It was Jean and I picture,” Sean mentally asks himself.

But, he still hoped that she didn’t see it. Dahil hindi puwedeng makita ni Justine, ang laman ng kaniyang cellphone. Hindi pa puwedeng malaman ng dalaga ang lahat, dahil maraming posibleng mangyari sa dalaga oras na matuklasan nito ang totoo.

“Sa susunod maging maingat ka sa mga gamit mo, okay?” Justine said as she put a small and weak smile on her face.

"Maybe she didn’t see it," Sean thought while he silently heaved a deep sigh.

“Justine, mauna na ako. May pasok pa kasi ako bukas, bye,” he said nervously while avoiding her suspicious gaze. But, when he was about to leave she suddenly called his name to ask him a question.

The question that made his soul flew away together with the colors of his skin.

“Y-yes,” he answered before gulping the lump building up at his throat.

“Can you please tell me the truth?” Justine asked, emotionless. But, Sean could see every emotion she had in her eyes. Everything, her eyes were saying it.

"Don’t tell me? It can’t be. She can’t be," Sean wished as his grasp at his phone tightened. He was silently praying that she did not see the screen saver of his phone or the date. And he quietly prayed that she won’t ask the question that all of them are trying to avoid for the past month.