Just A Dream : Fall for You

Chapter 13

“Sean, please be honest with me. Do you still love me?” Justine asked after a minute of silence.

“H-huh? W-where did that question come from? O-of course, I love you. Y-you know that, right?” Sean answered, stammering as he lied to her while his eyes closed.

“Is that so?” walang buhay na sambit ni Justine. It’s obvious that she didn't buy Sean’s answer.

“O-of course,” pagdidiin ni Sean, sa sagot niya sa tanong ng dalaga. “Justine, is there something wrong? May problema ba?” nag-aalala niyang tanong.

But, before she could answer his question her little sister, Simone, suddenly entered the room. As if she got a bad feeling about what was happening inside, between Sean, and her older sister.

The three of them remained silent, pinapakiramdam ang bawat isa. Afraid to utter a single word as they put their defenses up. 

“Sean,” putol ni Justine, sa nakabibinging katahimikan. “What date is it today?” she suddenly asked frankly without looking at them. There is no single ounce of hesitation in her voice. Her face was blank, and they can’t read what’s going on her mind, or,  what she’s thinking.

“What are you talking about?” nababahala at puno ng takot na tanong ni Sean.

“Sabihin mo nga, Sean. Gaano ba katagal akong comatose?”

“Huh? Anong ibig mong sabihin?” kunot-noong tanong ni Sean. Habnag pilit niyang inaalis sa isipan ang mga ideyang tumatakbo rito.

“I’m asking you, Sean.  What date is it today!” madiin at sarkastikong sambit ni Justine, nang sa wakas ay lumingon ito sa direksyon ng binata.

“How many days? Or, should I say, how many years had passed since that day?” tanong ni Justine, na sinundan ng kaniyang pekeng pagtawa. Habang ang mga luha na kanina lamang ay nagbabadya na muling tumulo ay tuluyang bumagsak na parang rumaragasang tubig mula sa isang talon.

“Justine, ano bang sinasabi mo? Hindi kita maintindihan,” nagmamaang-maangan na sagot ni Sean, habang pilit na inoobserbahan ang emosyon ng dalaga.

“Would you just please answer my question, Sean!” Justine madly roared at him. “Ang simple lang naman ng tanong ko, hindi ba? Pero hindi mo masagot!”

“Justine, I’m sorry pero hindi kita maintindihan--”

“Sean, can you please answer my d*mn question! D*mn it!” she cut him off, and roared at him while her frustrations slowly ate all of the rational thoughts she still had.

“Justine, can you please calm down,” Sean begged as he took a step closer towards her. 

He was trying to calm down Justine, who was fuming mad at them.

“I’m calm! Kalmado pa ako. Kaya puwede ba, Sean,” Justine hissed at him while her eyes were sending death glares at him. “Sagutin mo na lang ang tanong ko. Parang awa mo na. . . Sabihin mo sa akin ang totoo. Please,” nagmamakaawang sambit ni Justine, habang patuloy na lumuluha. “Tell me, ilang araw o taon na ba ang lumipas?” pagpapatuloy ni Justine.

“Hindi naman ako ganito kapayat, ‘di ba?” Justine added while stretching her arms forward, making him and Simone, see how thin she is now. “Hindi rin naman ganito kahaba ang buhok ko. At hindi naman ganito ang itsura ko dati, ‘di ba?” she continued when she grabbed her hair forward for them to see how long her hair was now, compared to her shoulder-length hair before.

“Sean, please tell me the truth. For heaven's sake! What month, day, and year is it today? Please, Sean, tell me. Ano ba talaga ang nangyayari? I know, and I can tell that you are hiding something from me. Ikaw, si Jean, si Mama, si Keith, si Simone, at maging ang mga doktor at nurses sa ospital na ito. Alam ko na may itinatago kayo sa akin. At ayaw n’yong malaman ko kung ano man ‘yon, tama ba ako?” pagpapatuloy ni Justine na hinahabol na ang bawat hininga sa bawat salitang binibigkas.

“Justine, please calm down,” Sean said calmly as soon as he approached Justine, and pulled her closer to him to hug her, and then he began caressing her back slowly.

“Hindi mo sinasagot ang tanong ko, Sean.  Tama ako, hindi ba?” Justine asked him again as she continued pushing him away with her little amount of strength.

“I hate you! I hate all of you!” Justine screamed at the top of her lungs as she slammed her fist against his chest. 

“Sean, I’m begging you to tell me the truth! What is going on here? Please tell me!” she begged and wailed.

Hindi na alam ni Sean ang dapat gawin. Kahit na alam niya na dapat lang na malaman ni Justine, ang totoo. Dahil hindi nito deserve ang pagsinungalingan nila. Ngunit ang isiping masasaktan ito nang husto kapag nalaman ang katotohanan sa bawat kasinangilang binitawan nila, ay kaagad na nadudurog ang kaniyang puso at pagkatao. Alam niya na malaki ang kasalanang nagawa niya sa dalaga. Simula pa lang ay hindi na nila dapat na ginawa ‘yon sa kaniya. Naging mabuting kaibigan ang dalaga sa kanila at wala itong ginawang masama para saktan at paiyakin nila ng husto. Hindi dapat si Justine, ang nasasaktan ngayon. Siya dapat ang nasa sitwasyon ni Justine, siya dapat. Kung maaari lamang, at kung posible lamang ay matagal na siyang nakipagpalit ng kalagayan sa dalaga.

“Justine--” 

“Ate Justine,” pigil ni Simone sa nais sabihin ni Sean. “Limang taon na po ang lumipas,” she confessed. “You’ve been asleep, and comatose for five years,” pagpapatuloy ni Simone, habang pilit na pinipigil ang luha. 

“Simone?” that’s all he can utter. He doesn’t know what to do anymore. His mind has gone blank. 

“F-five years?” hindi makapaniwalang usal ni Justine.

“It’s been five years, Ate Justine. At sa panahong ‘yon-”

“Simone! Tama na,” mariing suway ni Sean, kay Simone, dahil naramdaman na niya ang panginginig ng katawan ni Justine.

“Sean, totoo ba ang sinabi ni Simone, totoo ba?” Justine asked when she faced him. Her eyes are blank while her tears continiously falls down like a waterfall. Sadness, pain, agony, confusion, frustration, all of those emotions are evident in her face, and in her eyes.

Sean can’t answer Justine’s question. He doesn’t know how to respond, and he can’t find the right words to say. Or, how he should explain, and confess to her without hurting her that much in the process.

“Ate Justine, si Jean at Kuya Sean. . .” Simone trailed off. “The two of them, they were going out for three years now. Si Jean na po ang girlfriend ni Kuya Sean,” ang lumuluha at nanghihinang pag-amin ni Simone.

THREE years ago. . .

It has been two years since that day when their fate shook like an earthquake. Arlene and Keith are on their way to visit Justine, together with Simone. They all try to cope with the situation and live their lives as they did before. He and Arlene are studying at the same university. But there is one thing they have been wondering and thinking about, and that was about Sean. He suddenly stops visiting Justine for almost a year. And Keith cannot help but wonder what happened to Sean. Even though he wanted to drop by at Sean’s place, he couldn’t because he didn’t have enough time to do so. And whenever Sean tries to contact him, either call or text, and email, Sean never replies. That’s why he decided to stop doing it. Maybe he was living his own life and moving on without his twin, that he accepted the fact that their chances to see her smile once again was down to zero, that’s what he thought.

“Keith,” Arlene whispered to him while they were walking on the pavement, on their way to the hospital. To visit his twin sister that was silently sleeping.

“Hindi ba si Sean, ‘yon?” naniningkit ang mga matang tanong ni Arlene, habang ang daliri ay itinuturo ang direksyon ni Sean,s na nasa kabilang kalsada at kalalabas pa lamang ng restaurant.

“Siya nga, at magkasama pala sila ni Jean,” pagkumpirma ni Keith, sa tanong ng nobya. “Should we call them?” he suggested enthusiastically because he finally saw his friend, after his sudden disappearance.

“Okay, ako na ang tatawag sa kanila. Se--” Arlene suggested, but, she immediately cut herself off from shouting Sean’s name, because of what they just saw.

“Si Ate Jean at Kuya Sean, naghalikan sila. Kuya! Totoo ba ‘yong nakita ko?” gulat at hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Simone na nakita rin kung paano hinalikan ni Sean, ang noo ni Jean, bago ang mga ito magsimulang maglakad na magkahawak ang kamay.

“Totoo po ba ang nakita ko, Kuya Keith? Hindi po ako namamalik mata lang. ‘Di ba, Kuya? They are also holding each other’s hands,” hindi pa rin makapaniwala at sunod-sunod na tanong ni Simone sa kaniyang Kuya habang hinihila niya ang laylayan ng t-shirt nito.

“Damn you! Sean,” Keith cussed Sean, in his mind.

“So ito pala ang dahilan kaya hindi na siya pumupunta sa ospital!” puno ng galit at inis na bulong ni Keith sa sarili.

Hindi na niya napigilan ang galit na unti-unting nilulukob ang kaniyang isipan dahil sa nasaksihan. Sean was cheating on his sister, who was now lifelessly lying on her hospital bed and continuously fighting for her life. Kaya naman hindi na ni Keith napigilan at rendahan ang sarili na sugurin ang dalawa.

“Sean!” Keith shouted its name as he dashes towards Sean, and Jean's direction. And when he came near Sean, he immediately punched Sean's face with all his might.

“Sean!” gulat na tili ni Jean. “Are you alright?” she asked him while she helped him stand up.

“Keith!” “Kuya!” sabay na sigaw ni Simone at Arlene, habang nagmamadaling tumawid para sundan si Keith.

“You, *ssh*le!” galit na galit na sigaw ni Keith kay Sean. “So ito pala ang dahilan mo kaya hindi ka na dumadalaw sa ospital, huh!” akusa niya sa kaibigan na ngayon ay itinuturing na niyang dating kaibigan habang nagpapalipat-lipat ang kaniyang tingin sa dalawa.

“At talagang ang best friend pa ni Justine, ang ipinalit mo,” dagdag pa niya na sinundan ng mapakla niyang pagtawa. “At ikaw naman Jean, pumatol ka naman kahit na alam mo na boyfriend ni Justine, ang lalaking ito!” singhal niya sa dalaga habang idinuduro ang mga ito. “How disgusting, both of you. Now that I saw this and everything, nasusuka na akong isiping kaibigan ko kayo!” sigaw pa ni Keith. 

Ngunit sa kabila ng galit ay masasalamin ang pinaghalong lungkot, pagkadismaya at galit sa kaniyang mga mata.

“I’m sorry,” Jean mumbled. She can’t look straight at him or even lift her head.

“Sorry your face!” Keith roared again, not minding the people around them despite being aware that people were staring at their scene right now.

“Keith, lets go. Pinagtitinginan na tayo, nakakahiya. Tara na, please,” malumanay at paulit-ulit na pakiusap ng nobya sa kaniya habang marahan siya nitong hinihila palayo.

“Wala akong pakialam!” he hissed. 

He was as mad as a madman to mind the people watching them, all he could see right now was his old friend whom he thought would make his twin sister happy and that he'll protect no matter what happened. But it seems that he was wrong.

“Kuya Keith, tara na. Please,” Simone pleaded to him while she, and Arlene, dragged him out of the scene with their joined strength.

“Paano ko sasabihin kay Justine ang tungkol dito kapag nagising siya. Panigurado ako na mababaliw ‘yon. After all, her boyfriend and best friend cheated on her,” Keith questioned himself as he pictured her sister’s smiling face in his mind. He can’t bear to see her crying. He can’t. He could kill a person once he saw Justine’s tears.

...

“Kuya Keith graduated from college last year, and he’s now working. The same goes for Ate Arlene,” pagpapatuloy ni Simone, matapos alalahanin ang araw kung kailan nalaman nila ang tungkol kay Sean at Jean.

Samantala, hindi na Sean magawang pigilan si Simone, maski ang isipin kung ano ba ang dapat niyang gawin. Tuluyan ng naging blanko ang kaniyang utak. 

“Ganoon din sila Kuya Sean, at si Jean. Although, Kuya Sean, was still in his fourth year in college. Samantalang ako naman, hindi na din ako high school, Ate Justine. Dahil sa susunod na school year ay third year medical student na ako.”

Habang nakikinig sa nakababatang kapatid ay mas lalong bumuhos ang luha ni Justine. And it hurts Sean, to see her in that way, his heart aches at the sight of her, his conscience and guilt was eating him up. Justine, was in great pain now, and he can’t bear to see her sobbing while she desperately catches her breath, as her tears fall as if there’s no end to it.

“Simone!” Sean hissed to stop her, or so he thought. 

“Everyone did their best to lie and pretend in front of you, Ate Justine. Because we all want you to recover faster, we did whatever we could to lie. Kaya naman Ate Justine, ang lahat ng ito ay puro kasinungalingan. Kung hindi ka naaksidente hindi ito mangyayari, hindi sana namin ito ginagawa. Lahat ng ito ay isang malaking kasinungalingan lang,” Simone blurted out once more. Namumula na ito sa sobrang pag-iyak at sa bawat impit na pagsasalita.

“No. . . No. . . H-hindi ‘yan totoo,” ang nahihirapang sambit ni Justine, habang mariing umiiling. Ang mga luha iya ay patuloy pa rin sa pagpatak kasabay ng malalalim nitong paghinga.

“Justine!” Sean shouted when all of a sudden Justine collapsed right in his arms. Simone was also shocked when she saw what happened to her older sister.

“Simone! Tawagin mo si Dra.Maggie, bilis!” he shouted as he rang the button at the top of Justine's bed’s headboard that was connected to the nurse station.

Simone immediately rushed to get Dra. Maggie. At habang natatarantang tinatawag ni Simone, ang doktora ay sinusubukan naman ni Sean, na gisingin si Justine, sa kabila ng labis na pagkataranta. But she didn’t respond, and it made him much more nervous. What if she didn’t wake up this time again what are they going to do? 

A few seconds later, Dra. Maggie came rushing towards Justine, to check her condition with the help of other nurses.

“Didn’t I remind all of you that it will be dangerous for her if she finds out the truth right away!” Dra. Maggie fumed at them, and they understood why she was mad. “There’s nothing we can do right now, though she is stable now,” kalmadong sambit ng doktora habang pinagmamasdan ang dalagang nakahiga at muling nakapikit ang mga mata. 

“All we can do is to wait for her to wake up. ‘Yon ay kung gugustuhin niya. This might give her an emotional shock, and the worst-case scenario is that she might not wake up because of it. For now, we need to wait and see what will happen. Justine needs to be monitored for the time being. Hanggang sa muli niyang buksan ang kaniyang mga mata. We can’t have her falling into locked-in syndrome or pseudocoma this time,” malungkot na sabi ng doktora ngunit ang mga mata ay tila nagaapoy sa galit habang nakatingin sa dalawa.

Tila tinakasan naman ng lakas si Sean, nang marinig ang sinabi ni Dra. Maggie

“The stress she had has piled up already because of what you did. Maaaring hindi natin nakikitaan ng sintomas ng PTSD si Justine. But, we can’t erase the fact that she might be experiencing anxiety and depression,” pagpapatuloy ni Dra. Maggie. 

“Wait for her to wake up. ‘Yon ay kung gugustuhin niya. . . And the worst-case scenario is that she might not wake up,” ang mga salitang ito ang tumatak at paulit-ulit na umalingawngaw sa utak ni Sean habang tahimik na pinagmamasdan si Justine. Na ngayon ay muling nakapikit ang mga mata at walang kasiguraduhan kung kailan nito muling imumulat ang mga mata.

“Ate Justine,” Simone called for her sister while she was crying as she held her older sister's hand tightly, not wanting to let go.

They put on an oxygen mask on Justine, so that she can breathe properly, that’s what Dra. Maggie told them. And then, an hour later, her parents came rushing together with Keith.

“Justine!” Keith and their parents called her name as they entered the room.

“Sean! Tell me, anong ginawa mo sa kapatid ko?” Keith fumed angrily as he grabbed Sean, on his collar. His eyes are on fire. Madness and worry were evident in his face.

“Kuya Keith, wala po siyang kasalanan. Ako ang may kasalanan kaya nagkaganiyan si Ate Justine. Ssinabi ko kasi sa kaniya ang totoo. I’m sorry. Kuya, Mama, Papa, sorry po talaga. Hindi ko naman po inakala na ganito ang mangyayari,” Simone apologetically mumbled in between her sobs. She was still sitting beside her sister, holding her hands tightly. Namumugto at pulang-pula na ang mata niya sa labis na pagiyak.

“Simone,” Keith called his younger sister’s name dearly.

“Sean, pasensiya ka na sa amin. Pasensiya na kung parati ka na lang naiipit sa sitwasyon na ‘to. We’re sorry that we gave you such painful experiences in life,” Justine’s mom apologized to him.

“Okay lang po. At saka responsibilidad ko rin naman po si Justine. Importante rin po siya para sa akin, at kahit po hindi na po tulad ng dati ang nararamdaman ko para kay Justine, may espesyal na parte naman na po siya sa puso at buhay ko,” sagot ni Sean sa ginang. “Sa ngayon po stable na po ang condition niya. Kaya lang po kailangan po ulit nating hintaying na magising siya. Pasensiya na po, kasalanan ko po kung bakit siya napunta sa ganitong kalagayan,” magalang na paghingi niya ng paumanhin ni Sean.

“Wala kang kasalanan, wala namang may gusto na mangyari sa kaniya ito,” Justine’s father said as he taps Sean’s shoulder.

“Teka lang, Sean. Ano pang ginagawa mo dito? Dis-oras na ng gabi, ah,” Keith interrupted when he finally calmed down.

Kunot-noo namang bumaling si Sean sa direksiyon ni Keith. And when he looked at his wristwatch, his eyes widened in surprise to see that it was already quarter to ten in the evening.

“Mauna na po ako,” Sean shyly excused himself.

“Sige, mag-ingat ka sa pag-uwi,” Justine’s father said with a smile.

“What am I doing, and what’s happening to me? Hinayaan ko si Jean sa labas na maghintay sa akin, even though I promise na sandali lang ako,” sermon ni Sean sa sarili.

He wondered if Jean was still there waiting for him. But just like what he had thought, wala na roon ang nobya. Umuwi na ito nang mag-isa. He took a look once again on his phone, and there he saw Jean's text message for him.

|Sean mauuna na akong umuwi, mukang magtatagal ka pa kasi. 

Don’t worry about me, I love you. -- Jean|

Nagugulumihanang kinapa ni Sean, ang damdamin habang nasa biyahe pauwi. Hindi niya malaman kung ano nga ba ang tunay na nararamdaman para sa dating nobya at sa kasalukuyang nobya. He felt like a a piece of s**t at the thought of having Justine, as his previous, and Jea,n as his present girlfriend. Sa dinami-dami ng babae, ang matalik na magkaibigan pa ang minahal niya. Kung hindi siguro siya dumating sa buhay ng dalawa ay marahil na matalik pa rin itong mag kaibigan, hindi sana nakaratay si Justine ngayon sa ospital, hindi masasaktan at hindi magkakasakitan ang dalawa. Sa kaniyang pananaw ay siya at siya lamang ang dahilan ng lahat ng nangyayari sa kanila at kung bakit nasira ang dating masaya nilang pagsasamahan.

At higit sa lahat, kung hindi sana sila naging magkasintahan ni Justine, ay marahil na masaya na ngayon ang dalaga habang unti-unti nitong inaabot ang mga pangarap sa buhay. Kung kaya lamang niyang ibalik ang panahon at oras ay hindi siya magdadalawang isip na ibalik ito upang ayusin ang lahat. Ngunit huli na, nagyari na at talaga ngang nasa huli ang pagsisisi. Wala na silang magagawa pa upang ibalik ang dati. Ang tanging magagawa niya na lamang ay ang umasa na sana sa paglipas ng panahon ay magkaayos ang dalawang dalaga.