Her lost baby

Chapter fifteen - I'm sorry for your loss

Nia's POV:

The baby should be born any minute. I don't know how long I can wait. I want to see her already. She is the only thing that has left me. I erased Kevin from my mind. From time to time, I still see him outside. It's not like he is talking to me. We became distant. I haven't told my dad about this. Otherwise, he won't like it. Let's say that he still doesn't like my boyfriend. No matter that we are not dating anymore. I'm not mad at him. I was only in the beginning because I didn't know anything. When I found out the truth, I understood everything. He never wanted to hurt me. I don't think my dad will ever understand this. At least we stopped arguing about this. That's why I focused on the baby. She is so heavy. This means I have fed her well. I don't want a skinny baby. This is why mine will be healthy. I don't know how to deal with it, but I will do everything possible to make her happy. Lizzy won't need a father. Well, it will be nice for her to have one. I don't want her to feel different from the other kids when she grows up. I will tell her the truth when she grows up. First, I need to find the right moment for that. It won't be easy, but she deserves to know what is happening in her life. This is my beautiful baby. I hope that I will be able to give her everything she needs.

For the past few days, I have been tired. This baby is taking all my energy. I don't know for how long I will survive. At least my parents don't work on the weekend. I started needing their help with everything. I want to give birth already. I'm sure Lizzy wants to see me, too. She will be my best friend, and I will be hers. No one else will touch her. I have wanted this for so long. I won't give up on her. She is only mine.

I woke up with a pain in the stomach. I don't know if this is a good sign. I can take a pill, but the baby might not like it. I need to be careful about what types of medicines I take. Not everything is healthy for the baby. The problem is that if I don't take something soon, I won't survive. I stayed in bed for some time. I heard my mom calling me for breakfast. There is no way I will get up. I can't even move. Soon, she came in and sat on the bed.

- Hey, are you ok? I thought you didn't hear me.

- I did, but I can't get up.

- Why? What's wrong?

- I don't know. I have a sharp pain in the stomach.

- Did you take a pill?

- No. You know I can't take whatever it is.

- Yes, but you can't stay in pain. Let's go to the doctor.

- I can't go there.

- Why not?

- Because I can't get up. You have to help me. Please, mom. I don't want to lose her.

- Relax. Nothing will happen. I will call your dad, and we'll go to the hospital.

- Thanks.

Dad drove to the hospital as fast as he could. After all, there is a speed limit. On the way, my mom made me eat a sandwich. I didn't want to see food, but I had to do it. We were there in thirty minutes. At the reception, my mom asked for my doctor. A nurse took me to one room. She gave me a painkiller until the doctor came.

- Everything will be fine. Breathe. - mom said

- Did you feel the same with me?

- Only the birth was painful.

- Then why do I feel like that?

- I don't know. People's bodies react differently.

- I want the pain to be over.

- Don't worry. The doctor will come soon.

- I love Lizzy, but I want her out. I can't deal with this anymore.

- Be patient.

I waited for the doctor to come. She had a patient before me. Well, I came unexpectedly. I didn't think I would wake up like that. I hope that Lizzy is fine.

- Don't worry. You are in pain because Lizzy wants to come out.

- What? Now? She was supposed to come next week.

- I guess not. Your water is broken. Didn't you notice?

- I noticed a wet spot in my car. - dad said

- That's it.

- I'm sorry. - I said

- It's ok. Don't think about this. We need the baby to come out safely.

- Stay here. I will go and get ready. Soon, you will see her. - the doctor said and left

- Everything will be fine. Breathe. - mom said

- Thanks.

The doctor came back after fifteen minutes with a nurse. I wanted Lizzy to come out, but now I'm not sure. I saw some of the instruments which my doctor will use. It looked scary. Well, I am already here. I can't give up. Soon, I will hold her. She is my little Lizzy. The baby is the only reason why I can't give up. I have to do it for her. She is the only thing that has left me.

- Ok, on three, you will start pushing. Understood?

- Yes.

- One, two, three.

- I know you can do it, honey. - mom said

- Good job. One more time. One, two, three.

- You are doing great.

- Please, stop talking. - I said

- Can you and your husband wait outside? Please. - the doctor said

- Yes, sure. We are here if you need us. - mom said, and she left with my dad

- Good. Let's try again. One, two, three.

- I can't!

- I see her head. Keep going.

- Nooo!

- Keep pushing. She is almost out. On three. One, two, three. - she said, and I did it

- I can't keep doing this.

- There is no need to.

- What?

- She is here.

- Really?

- Yes. Give me a towel, please. - she said to the nurse

- Here you go.

- Can I see her?

- Sure. This is Lizzy.

- She is so tiny.

- But she looks like you.

- She is mine. My baby.

- We need to make some checking on her. The nurse will take care of her.

- Will I see her?

- Sure. The checking won't take much time.

- Thanks.

The doctor took the baby and gave it to the nurse. Both of them left. My parents came to check on me. I was fine. The pain was gone, too. Hopefully, my baby is healthy. This is all that matters to me. I wish I could hold her for longer. I had her for only two minutes, but I'm already obsessed with her. She is the cutest baby I have ever seen. Well, she is mine.

- Are you happy? - mom asked

- Yes. You had to see her. She is so cute. - I said, and my dad chuckled

- I'm sure every mother will say it.

- No, my baby is the cutest.

- I won't argue with you.

I was talking with my parents when a nurse came back. This is not the same. I mean, the one that was with my doctor. She came without my baby. The checking should've been done up to now.

- Are you Nia?

- Yes.

- Is the number of your bracelet five, three, eight, six, seven, one, four, five?

- Let me check. Yes, it is. Why?

- I'm sorry.

- For what?

- I'm afraid that your baby is dead.

- What? That is impossible. My baby was fine.

- I'm sorry for your loss.

- No, you are lying. I want to see it.

- You can't. Dead babies don't go back to their mothers.

- Why? So I can't identify it. My baby is not dead.

- What is going on here? - my doctor said, coming in

- She claims that my baby is dead.

- What? How? She gave birth to a healthy baby.

- Come with me. I checked the number on the bracelet.

- I will be back. I'm sure your baby is fine. Don't worry. - the doctor said and left

- Honey, breathe. Your baby is fine. - mom said

- They are trying to take it away from me. - I said, crying

- No one will take Lizzy from you. Everything will be fine. Trust me.

- What do they want from me?

- Calm down. Soon, you will see her. Lizzy is yours. Nothing will happen to her.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, I am. Relax.

The doctor came back after half an hour. She said that the number on the bracelets was matching. This means that Lizzy is dead. She promised me to understand what happened. According to her, it's rare for a baby to die. I mean, after it has been born. The baby was fine when she took it out. That's why she will check what happened. She believes that someone might have done something to the baby. I waited an hour and a half. They can't take her away from me. I don't deserve it. This baby is mine. I'm not giving up on it. I'm not giving up on Lizzy. I can't do this to her.

- I'm here with some news. - the doctor said

- Where is my baby?

- There were five dead babies.

- Was mine there?

- Let me finish. We gave you the baby before cleaning it. She might have looked different.

- So?

- I will never mistake a baby that has been in my hands. None of the babies in that room was yours.

- Then where is mine?

- That is a good question. Where is Lizzy?

- Do you think that someone might have taken her? - mom asked

- It's possible, but I don't see a reason. I checked the bracelets of these babies. They are from at least a week ago. You weren't here for that long.

- Is Lizzy alive? - I asked

- I don't know. I have to check on a patient, but I promise you to figure out what is happening.

- All I want is to see her.

- You will. When I finish with my patient, I will check all the babies. I mean, which are still in the hospital.

- Thanks.

- I have to go now. I will come to check on you later. - she said and left

- What if I never see her again?

- Don't talk like that. Lizzy will come back. I'm sure about this. - dad said

- When?

- Take a rest. I know you need it. When you wake up, Lizzy will be here. I promise you. - mom said

- I wish I had held her for longer. She was the only thing I had from him. - I said, crying

- Don't cry. Everything will be fine. She will come back.

- Your mom is right. Take a rest. Things will get better.

- Why me?

- Don't think about this. Why don't you sleep? It will make you feel better.

- Only Lizzy can make me feel better.

I waited for the doctor, but she didn't come. Maybe something has happened. I know I'm not the only patient she has. I don't understand what happened with Lizzy. She was born healthy. My baby can't be dead. Someone took her, but who? Why would they need my baby? It doesn't matter what happened. All I want is to see her again. That is my only wish. Lizzy is the only thing that I have from Kevin. Dad might not like him, but I will never forget him. He will always be my first love. If something happens to her, I will never forgive myself. I hope that my baby is fine.