Her lost baby

Chapter three - Plans for the future

Nia's POV:

This week, I took care of ten kids. Families keep reaching out to me. That is good for me. I don't know for how long I want to be a babysitter. I thought it would be a good experience for me. If Kevin doesn't want to have kids with me, I can't force him. Neither will break up with him because of that. It's not a valid reason. The thing is that this is something I wanted for so long. I might be too young, but I don't want to be forty until I get pregnant. Maybe I'm thinking enough about this. There are other good things in life. Having kids shouldn't be the only priority in women's life. I need some plan for my future. I can sign up for some courses. I'm not sure if this will be enough. Also, I need to check the price. That's why I have some savings, but I don't want to give all of them for that. The other thing is that I need to talk with Kevin. He hasn't told me his plans. I want to include him in mine. After all, he is my boyfriend. I should share with him what I think about the future. It's not like I know what I want. I change my mind every day. At least he is not mad about it. Well, he has other things in his head. I tried to ask, but he told me not to worry. This time, I will listen to him. I hope that nothing will happen to him.

I haven't seen Kevin for the past three days. I don't know what is going on with him. I called him a few times, but he didn't pick up. Then it said that the battery died or the phone was turned off. I have no idea what he is doing. We need to sit and talk. I'm worried that something might happen to him. He is not telling me anything. I don't even know where he is. Hopefully, all this is in my head. I can't let something happen to him.

I woke up and went to get ready for the day. Today, I will watch a two-year-old at home. The parents are making renovations in their house. It will be too noisy for the baby. They will bring me everything I need. When I was ready, I went for breakfast. Mom has left me some food on the table. After some time, I heard the knock on the door. I went to open it.

- Hello. This must be Ally.

- Yes. Thank you so much for watching her.

- No problem. Come in.

- Thanks.

- What food does she eat?

- I have made a small list. These will be her meals for the day. I will come to take her after dinner.

- Sure, no problem. Can she go out?

- Yes, but it better be in your backyard. I still don't take her out often. You never know what might happen.

- True. Does she have a sleeping schedule?

- She was sleeping before we came here. Ally will be awake until lunchtime. After that, you can put her for an afternoon nap. She loves these.

- I will do that. How much does she sleep?

- Leave her for around three hours. If she sleeps longer, she will go to bed later. I mean, in the evening.

- I understand. No longer naps.

- Yes. That is for now. I'm sure you can do great. I'll pay you when I come to take her.

- Don't worry. The money should be your minor problem.

- Thanks. Bye, Ally. I will come for you soon. - she said and left

- What do you want to do now?

- Play.

- Ok, let's play with some toys. Do you want to see mine?

- Yes.

- Great.

I took Ally to my room. I don't have much toys. Her mom gave me a bag with some of hers. I took everything and put it on the bed. I had one car. It was pink. That was the first thing she took. I guess she liked the color. We played until lunchtime. Later, I took her to the kitchen. There are clear instructions on what she should eat. I prepared everything and put her on a chair. Of course, I made food for myself. I want to eat with her.

- I see both of you are eating.

- Oh, hey, mom. You are home early.

- The boss let us go. Who is the little one?

- That is Ally. She is my company for the day.

- Is it me, or do you want to babysit only girls?

- What? That is not true. I have taken care of baby boys as well.

- I know, but mostly, you watch baby girls. I know you want to have one.

- Let's not talk about this again.

- Kevin doesn't want it, does he?

- I don't know. He doesn't like it when I start talking about this. I don't think we'll have a family together.

- Don't talk like that. Give him some time. Both of you are still young.

- He is hiding something from me.

- What? How do you know?

- I haven't seen him for three days. I called and texted him multiple times. There was no answer.

- Maybe he was busy.

- I don't know. I plan to talk with him today. Well, if he picks up his phone.

- Everything will be fine. You are worrying too much.

- He told me the same.

- Because it's true.

- But I don't want something to happen to him.

- He might be young, but he knows what he is doing.

- I hope so. I don't want to get involved in whatever he is doing.

- That won't happen. I promise you.

- Thanks for always listening to my nonsense.

- It's not nonsense. Also, you are my daughter.

- That is the only good thing.

- See?

I talked with my mom while I was feeding Ally. Then I put her for the afternoon nap. I put pillows around her in case she turns around and falls. I don't want this to happen. I stayed with her for some time. Kids sleep cutely. I wonder when I will have one. I guess it won't be soon.

- Your time will come. Take this. - my mom said and gave me a cup of coffee

- Thanks. I hope so.

- Be patient.

- What if he doesn't want it? I mean, never.

- If you love him enough, you will agree with everything he does.

- I do, but I want this in my future. No one said it would be tomorrow.

- Patience is the key. You will understand it. All you need is a little bit of time.

- I know. Thanks.

Mom and I went to talk downstairs. I kept checking on Ally to make sure that nothing would happen. After some time, mom stopped me. Let's say that I was checking on her every five minutes. I need to calm down. Sometimes, I'm taking my job too personally. I take care of the kids as if they were mine. There is nothing wrong with that. Well, I can't get attached to any of them.

Around 3 pm, Ally woke up. I picked her up and took her to the backyard. She could walk carefree, but I was still holding her hand. That is for safety. I don't want anything to happen. Mom brought some of her toys and joined us. I like that she and my dad are helping me so much. I don't know what I would've done without them. Dad came home for dinner. I prepared Ally's food and sat down to feed her.

- You are ready. - dad said

- I learned with time.

- You are doing great. The kids love you.

- That is the idea. Otherwise, I need to find another job.

- No, this is the job for you. I know how much you care for every kid. - mom said

- I'm doing my best.

- Is everything ok? - dad asked

- Yes. I got a message from Kevin.

- Well?

- He agreed to meet me later. We have some things to talk about.

- Don't pressure him. The boy has other things to do. He can't be with you all the time.

- I know, but it will take him less than a minute to answer me. I will understand if he is busy.

- You don't know what is going on. That's why you can't judge him.

- That is true, too.

- With time, everything will be fine.

- This is what I'm hoping for.

- Now, your priority is Ally. Everything else will come later.

- Sure.

I played with Ally until her mom came to take her. She paid me and left. I went to my room. Kevin texted me that he was free to go out. I quickly got ready and went to meet him. I want to know what is going on with him. He was waiting for me at the park. We used to go there often. I don't know what happened to us. He loved spending time with me. I guess that was in the past. Kevin greeted me, and we started walking. I feel like the news won't be good. I can feel when he is hiding something from me. This is not the same guy who I met. I don't even know who I am talking to.

- Won't you say something? - I asked

- Like what?

- Maybe tell me where you have been the last three days. I called and texted you multiple times. You didn't answer.

- My battery died.

- Come on. Do you think I'm that stupid? What is going on with you?

- Nothing.

- Lies! I can see it in your eyes. You are not the same person.

- Of course, I am.

- No, you are not. You never hid things from me before.

- I'm not hiding anything.

- Why don't you tell me what you were doing for the past three days? Are you cheating on me?

- What? No! I will never do that.

- Then?

- I wanted some time for myself, ok? I don't need to tell you everything.

- That was your idea. You wanted us to tell each other everything.

- Now I don't want it anymore.

- Why? Did I do something?

- You ask too many questions.

- I was worried for you. Don't you think I deserve a proper explanation?

- I already told you. I don't care if you will believe me or not.

- All I want is for you not to get in trouble. Is it that much?

- I'm sorry. I will start hanging out with you more.

- I didn't say that. Why don't you trust me?

- That is not true. You know that I trust you.

- It doesn't look like this.

- Then? What is bothering you?

- Your secrets.

- I don't have any.

- Fine. Look me in the eyes and say you have never lied or hidden anything from me.

- What?

- Do it. If you want me to believe you, do it.

- I can't.

- Why? Because you have done it?

- I'm so sorry.

- Me too. - I said and walked away

- I love you! - he said and stopped me

- Sadly, I love you too. No matter that you don't deserve it.

Kevin and I walked for some time. I don't think he will ever tell me what he has been doing. The only thing that came to my mind was to follow him. Well, I won't do it. That is wrong and creepy. Also, I risk losing his trust. I can't let that happen. I don't want to argue with him anymore. We are supposed to be together without having any problems. Sadly, I don't think this can happen. I feel like something is breaking between us. I have no idea what it is. Maybe we need some time to figure things out. That is the only thing I can do. I hope that we won't continue arguing.