Chapter #1: Dream or Nightmare
The warm rays of the summer sun dances through the tall forest trees. A cool breeze rustles the limbs, scattering the rays, creating a breath-taking show of light and darkness. Birds are singing their heavenly melodies. Wildflowers are swaying in the rhythm of the majestic scenery.
An adorable girl dressed in a beautiful sundress runs through. Her long black hair dances around her as the wind runs its fingers through. Her smile and laughter enchants the forest, making it a gorgeous picture from heaven.
"Mommy!" She yells.
A woman, identical to the adorable child, runs before her. The mother is joyfully laughing makes the child's smile even bigger. The mother beacons the child to follow her. She sprints off with the child drastically trying to keep up.
"Mommy wait!" Fear pulses through the child as the woman begins to gain distance.
Clouds roll in as the wind begins to pick up speed. The sky becomes grey as the majesticness turns to nightmare.
No life seems to exist anymore, only the chaos of the storm. Branches lash at the child, trying their hardest to latch onto her and pull her into the darkness that nips at her heels.
"Mommy! Please!" She screams again to her mother who is now further in the distance. The mother not even glancing back.
The sky turns black as a violent thunderstorm erupts. Rain pours by the gallons as the wind viscously shoves into the child. She falls to the ground as her tears mix with the rain.
"Mommy don't leave me!" She screams out. "Mommy! Please! I'm scared!"
"It's alright child." The child jumps up backing away. Standing before her is a tall, mysterious man. He smiles, holding an umbrella.
"Why do you follow me?" She screams in anger.
"I will not harm you in any way! Just tell me where you are? I will protect you!" He stresses to her.
"Who are you?" He watches as the child trembles.
"I swear that I just want to protect you. Tell me where you are, and I will help you." She looks at him positively baffled.
"What are you talking about? I'm right here! Please sir! Help me find my mommy!" He sighs, holding out his hand for her.
A caring smiling comes to him. Something in the child breaks when she sees this. She runs to him, wrapping her tiny arms around his legs.
Tears flow uncontrollably as her soul bares to him. All the years of pain and sorrow flow through those tears. He holds her in his arms, absorbing those tears.
"Where are you?" He begs.
Suddenly, the child lets out an inhuman scream. Pain radiates all throughout her tiny body. Fear now runs wild through him as he tries to find the source.
"Something is hurting me! Please! Help me!"
The man drops the umbrella and sets the child down. As the rain drenches them, he frantically looks for the cause of her pain. Another wave hits her. He tries to speak to her, but her screams are deafening.
"LILLITH!" A disembody voice roars down at her from the skies. The man doesn't seem to hear this as he is still trying to talk to her.
He holds her tight to him, searching all around to see what she is seeing. The child wraps her arms tightly around his neck, closing her eyes terrified.
Another shock of pain hits her. She opens her eyes to an even more disturbing sight. She is no longer in the forest and no longer a child.
Rain falls hard on a warm summer's night. Rats scurry in the darkness of an old decrepit hospital. The smell of black mold clings to your nostrils. Old, rusted gurneys and equipment lay about in the rooms. Graffiti and filth cover the walls.
Welcome to Saint John's Psychiatric Facility, known now as Hell's Hospital.
Every person in the city calls it this. It closed its doors ten years ago due to the lack of state funding. In Illinois, this is a very common occurrence. This damn state is so broke, not even major pharmacies accept its own Medicaid.
Most people who live at Hell's Hospital are going through their own personal hell of drugs and alcohol. The greatest man-made demon in this world. So much blood and innocence is lost to this demon. Families torn apart. Pure souls taken too early from this world.
As for the rest of the damned living here, they are patients that fell through the cracks and couldn't get the proper help. Another very sad but common event in Illinois. It's made for the rich and will crush out the poor.
Even in the papers that litter this hell hole of a place, you can read about it. Although just like the creatures that roam the halls of Hell's Hospital, these stories are just looked over to avoid them and pretend that it didn't happen or exist. That's what is the most f****d up and even saddest thing to do in any situation. Everyone is guilty of doing this to something or someone.
In a filthy corner of an exam room floor, Lillith lays with a syringe in her arm and a belt loosened around it. Her pale white skin is covered in dirt and grim. Her waist-length long black hair lay covered in knots and vomit. Sweat pores down her face as her body shivers. Frustration runs rampant in her eyes.
"f*****g Christ! Why?! Just let me go you sick bastard!" She screams towards the ceiling with such hatred in her voice. "What have I done so wrong to be treated like this?!" Tears sting her eyes as her pleads echo in the silence. "A little more and I'll be able to sleep. I just want to f*****g sleep."
It doesn't take her long to find a dealer and get another syringe loaded. With the belt tight on her arm, she injects a heavy dose. Her breathing becomes slow and ragged. Her eyes fluttering desperately to stay conscious. A blissful smile creeps over her lips.
The last thought going through this poor girl's mind as darkness takes its grip on her. She opens her eyes and sees nothing but darkness around her as she floats in it.
Pure insane laughter erupts from her. Madness begins to consume her soul. Suddenly, tears burst through as the sorrow of loneliness sets in.
"f**k you!" She screams, looking up into the darkness. "You can't even give me my stalker as I die!"
Lillith is thrown ten feet, rolling hard. Pain courses in her chest. She gasps for air. Her eyes frantically searching the darkness trying to find the source of the chaos that is unfolding.
She's thrown again, even harder. Water fills her eyes as she gasps for air. She blinks frantically trying to clear her vision.
"CLEAR!" A voice appears faintly.
Her eyes pop open seeing a paramedic holding paddles. Pain radiates through her body as she gasps again. She tries shoving the medics away from her, trying so hard to remove the IV in her arm.
"Give me the Ketamine!" She hears someone say.
A needle sticks in her leg. She roars out a scream. Quickly, the medication kicks in, putting her into a very suspended high state.
"What is going on?" She asks.
They get her on the stretcher placing restrains on her. A sweet young man with hazel eyes and blonde hair kneels beside her, placing a monitor on her finger.
"You overdosed. We're taking you to the hospital and have them check you out. You weren't breathing when we got here. Lillith, do you know who I am?" She stares at the man puzzled.
He truly does love helping people.
"How do you know me? Are you a fan?" The man sighs as they load her up in the ambulance.
She looks up, staring up at the lights. Slowly they begin to go in and out of focus. She laughs as the voices around her begin to go in and out. Everything spins as she can feel the ambulance move.
"Help." She manages to say. The medic looks at her, seeing the monitors starting to go off.
"Lillith. I need you to talk to me sweetheart. What's going on?" She hears him rummaging around gathering medications.
"My heart. It's a butterfly. I'm ... just .... so ...... tired...." Her eyes flutter shut as the darkness once again takes its grip, pulling her down into its peaceful depths.
Pain rocks my body. I'm so tired of the feeling of pain. I'm in pain all day long and it never lets up. The only relief I get is from the pills or a syringe. This time I guess I took it just a little too far.
My chest is f*****g killing me.
I go to talk but the taste of plastic is in my mouth. My eyes start to open, and the annoying sound of a heart monitor keeps going off. I see that they have a tube in my throat.
Fuck! I guess I went a little too far. Way to go Lillith. Oh s**t! What day is it?! If I'm late for rehearsals, they'll kick my ass out this time!
Can you blame them though? How many times have you missed practiced? How many times were you f****d up out of your mind playing a gig? They are the only family you have, and you just keep shitting on them. Just! Like! You! Do! With! Everyone!
"Hi Lillith." A nurse says coming into the room.
She's in her early twenties with brown hair and brown eyes. I've seen her before around the hospital. It's not my first time here. They brought me to Memorial Medical. She brushes the hair from my face.
That's nice of her.
"You overdosed again. Looks like heroin but we did a charcoal as well, because we found an empty bottle of Oxycodone on you. Doc wants to make sure that your system is clean. Now we're just waiting on labs to come back. If they are okay, Doc will pull the tubes." I nod my head, understanding what she is telling me.
This isn't my first rodeo. This is now my fourth overdose in the past six months. I wish that they should have let me die. I just want the pain to stop. I'm just so tired of being in pain. Just so tired.
As the nurse leaves the room, tears roll down my face. I'm pretty good at silently crying. In my twenty years of being in this world I've learned that being a loud blubbering i***t just drains more energy from your body. That's energy that can be used to help protect yourself from what is hurting you.
I close my eyes trying to get some sleep. Sleep is my arch nemesis. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since I was fourteen. The pain in me keeps me from sleeping, hence the drugs.
Just calm down. Remember your rehearsals.