opia [h.s au]

Chapter 30

Dom opens the door with a big, warm smile and I stay a little distant, close to the dinner table, trying to keep my s**t together. My heart is pounding out of my damn chest and my palms are sweating so freaking much I actually have to dry them on my skirt.

Shit, why am I so nervous? I was literally sleeping with Harry for the past two weeks. He rubbed my feet for f***s sake!

"Hey, mate" His raspy voice travels from the door and I hear the slap of Harry and Dom's hands, followed by a loud kiss on the cheeks.

"Hello, so glad you came!" Dom says loudly and I only notice the nervousness in his voice because I know him very well. He is doing a way better job than me at hiding his nerves.

"Where's Billie?" Harry asks, stepping aside of Dom so he can finally come to my view and I have to fight the urge to sigh loudly.

He is so f*****g handsome.

I know, there's nothing new about that, but somehow Harry manages to knock the wind out of my chest every time I lay my eyes on him, it's like he is a damn wizard.

His surname should be Potter, not Styles.

"Hey, you" He grins when he is close enough, pulling me to a hug and my head becomes dizzy immediately with his intoxicating smell.

I melt on his arms, hugging him back and burying my face on his chest, inhaling deeply.

"Hey" I greet him, getting to the tip of my toes and pecking his lips with mine.

"Uh, someone is surely caring today" Harry chuckles, kissing me back loudly and I giggle.

"Jeeh, get a room you two" Gem rolls her eyes, pulling me out of Harry's arms and hugging me tight "I need to talk to you" She whispers in my ear then breaks from the hug, giving me a quick look.

I nod discreetly.

"Dom, why don't you show Harry the food you made? He is a great cook too" I suggest to Dom, raising my voice and both the guys looks at me with knitted eyebrows.

"Well, I can but it is actually-" I give him a glare and Dom finally gets my message, taking Harry's arm and practically dragging him towards the kitchen.

"What is it?" I raise my eyebrows to Gem, who takes my hand and pulls me to the porch.

I'll never make peace with the fact that Dom's apartment have a f*****g porch and two bedrooms and he pays the same lease I do. Sometimes living in New York sucks.

"So, listen, I'm having a little internal crisis right now" Gem urges, keeping her voice down.

"Spit it out. What's going on?"

"I'm really into Dom" Gem's cheeks gets red as she speaks "Like... Really into him. Can't stop thinking about him, and oh my god he is such a great guy, so sexy, and funny"

"Okay, now you're drooling" I sneer, pretending to collect something under her chin and Gem rolls her eyes.

"I'm serious!" She whines.

"M'just kiddin'. Why are you having a crisis over that?"

"Because I don't know what to do about it!" Gem sighs "I mean... I just got out of a serious relationship and Dom is just so different from Adam... They're like polar opposites. And it's been less than a month, am I ready to be with another person that way?"

I open my mouth to answer but she continues to babble so I guess her question was rhetorical.

"And I don't even think Dom is attracted to me the same way, guess he is just being kind to me because of what Adam did, you know?"

"Imma stop you right there" I raise my voice, placing my hands on Gem's shoulders and turning her body so I can look straight to her eyes "First of all, stop trying to find the 'right time' to do what you want. If you want it, just do it. Second, are you f*****g blind? Dom is crazy about you, always has been."

Ops. Tequila always loses my tongue.

Gem widens her eyes, seeming to be utterly shocked by my affirmation. Her face goes even redder and now she looks like a damn stop sign.

"He... He is?" She stutters, a little smirk lifting her lips and my mind goes immediately to Harry. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am, he has a major crush on you since forever. And you two have been hanging out so much lately, I'm surprised it didn't happened already. Just go with it." I wink and Gem's smile spreads so much that I can't help but smile along with her.

"Don't you think is a little early for me to be thinking about kissing another person?" She adds quietly, looking at me with big doe eyes.

"I don't." I roll my eyes "Actually I don't believe there's such thing like perfect timing for things like that, it just happens... Do you think it's gonna happen today, though?"

"Well to be honest I really want it" Gem gives me a coy smile "But I don't know... Wouldn't feel comfortable having my first kiss with Dom with you and Harry being in the same room."

"Don't worry about that, I have plans with Harry too for this night so I guarantee you we're going to be out of your hair in no time."

"Ew! Gross! I don't need to know about it" Gem squeals, giggling.

"Let's go back, I'm cold and it's starting to rain" I smile then wink for Gemma and she rolls her eyes, following me back inside Dom's apartment.

"Thank you" She whispers.

Dom and Harry are whispering to each other at the living room, his faces close and shoulders tense. I poke Gem with my elbows, nodding towards them and she giggles.

Cleaning my throat out loud, I giggle when both of them jumps in their places, snapping their heads towards us.

"What are you bitches gossiping about?" I ask and Gem chuckles beside me, her eyes laying on Dom and lingering there, a faint smile playing on her lips.

Oh stop it already.

"The chili is not ready yet" Dom announces, shrugging "I thought we could just sit around and talk while it cooks."

"Sounds lovely" Gem winks, already sitting at the couch and Dom almost runs to sit by her side. I roll my eyes playfully for the both of them, then turn my attention to Harry.

"Would you help me prepare some margaritas?"

"Sure" He gives me a sly smile and we go to the kitchen, leaving Gem and Dom alone in the living room.

Oh, f**k.

I just remembered Harry is not supposed to drink, was it too insensitive to ask him help to prepare f*****g margaritas? f**k, I didn't thought this through at all.

"Jesus, feels weird to be the wing man of my own sister, think I'll just pretend I'm not aware of what is happening" Harry scratches the back of his neck, looking around Dom's kitchen and going straight to the stove, as if it's a natural habit for him.

I dig up the tequila from the refrigerator, along with some lemons, Cointreau and ice. Harry watches me intently while I mix up the ingredients inside of a shaker. Feeling very aware of myself, I get to the tip of my toes to reach for the margarita glasses inside one of Dom's cupboards.

"f**k" Harry mutters behind me and I turn to him with raised eyebrows, holding four glasses.

"What?" I ask, looking down at the glasses then towards Harry again. Is he upset because he can't drink? I didn't know what to do, if I took only three glasses he would know Gemma told me about his treatment, and as much as I'm holding a little grudge over him not telling me that yet, I just can't put their relationship in jeopardize.

"Do you have any idea how this skirt you're wearing is short?" Harry hisses glaring me from head to toe "Or how it lifts up when you reaches out like that?"

"Oh" I gulp, putting the glasses down over the sink and give myself a little pep talk while walking towards Harry, the tequila I drank earlier actually helping me gather the courage I need to my next action.

You can do this, Billie. Yeah, you can, you're an amazing b***h, girl power all over his ass right now!

I stop walking when I'm just a few inches away from Harry, looking up and pinning my eyes on his as I try to ignore the crazy Olympics gymnastics my stomach is performing right now.

Getting to the tip of my toes again, I reach for Harry's lips, smashing my mouth on his and for a moment I just stay here, savoring the feeling of his plump lips and how smooth they feel against mine.

You can do this, Billie.

With no warnings whatsoever, I give Harry an open mouthed kiss, licking his parted lips with what I guess is a sensual lap of my tongue while I shut my eyes close, my hand reaching for his crotch and Harry yelps with surprise when I grab his d**k over his pants, humming inside of his mouth.

Jesus Christ, he is already hard.

"You know what..." I mumble, darting my lips to his ear and gently sucking his earlobe between my teeth for a second before I add "M'tired of waiting."

The surprised state Harry is lasts for only a second before he recovers his control, hissing lowly at the same time he grabs my waist roughly and spins me so my back is facing him. With a quick movement, he pins his body against mine, trapping me between him and the sink.

I feel his hard bulge pressing my bottom and my stomach does a complete backflip, my breath catching in my chest and the only sound I make is a little pant mixed with a gasp of surprise.

"You're playing with fire, baby" Harry groans in my ear and goosebumps runs all over me, from the point his warm breath hits my skin to my toes. "If you don't be careful, you'll gonna get yourself burned."

Feeling way bolder than I normally would, I circle my hips slowly, rubbing my behind on his crotch and I can't help the little smirk in my lips when Harry curses under his breath.

"Maybe tonight I want to see how badly I'm gonna hurt" I mumble under my breath, completely unable to keep my voice steady.

"Jesus, Billie" Harry hoarsely groans, taking a little step back just to spin me again and smash his lips against mine, his tongue surpassing the little space between my lips and already lapping inside of my mouth, a rushed, eager kiss that scrambles my mind instantly.

I want to wrap my arms around his neck but it's like my mind disconnected from my body right now and I can't move. My hands are resting on Harry's broad shoulders while he pulls me with force against him and I feel every inch of his warm body.

Sighing deeply, Harry takes a step back, breaking from the kiss, his hands still grabbing my hips forcefully. He looks at me, his eyes almost pit black and his cheeks red.

"Don't think I can wait anymore" He mumbles, his chest raising fast while he adjusts himself in his briefs, the vision itself making my insides clench.

Sinking my teeth to my lower lip, I give him a little smirk of my own. "I really hope you can't."

"s**t" Harry cusses, smashing his mouth against mine again but this time, we are interrupted by Gem's voice calling for Harry from the leaving room. "f**k" He mumbles, breaking from the kiss and leaning his forehead against mine, his eyes full of desire that probably just mimics mine. "Later." He promises, stepping out of the kitchen.

Fuck, I'm a mess right now. There's so much excitement pooling between my legs it's almost unbelievable, I think when Harry and I are alone I'll probably just combust to big human flame and melt to a pooling mess on his feet.

The s****l frustration that has been constructing inside of me feels even stronger now, and I have a hard time concentrating on the making of those damn margaritas. Think I'm gonna need some alcohol to be able to get through this night.

~*~

Three margaritas later and I have to say, it's getting really hard to sit beside Harry and keep my hands to myself.

The bright part is he seems to be unable to do that either.

We are seated at Dom's dinner table and the food is amazing. Unfortunately, though, my stomach is tied to such a tight knot I almost can't swallow, the expectation just too much for me to bear.

Harry is sitting by my side and his hand hasn't left my thigh ever since we started to eat. It's really hard to concentrate in the conversation at the table when all I can think about is how warm and tight is his grip. And how my stomach is backflipping nonstop ever since we left the kitchen.

I swear to God it became even harder to look at his eyes without having my insides melted.

I'm really trying to concentrate in whatever it is that Gem and Dom are talking about, they're telling us about some funny thing that happened with them while at the movies last week, but to be honest I'm being completely useless in this conversation.

Dom is glancing me every once in a while, his eyebrows discreetly raised and a little smirk dancing on his lips. He knows exactly what is happening and I know for a fact that he is having the time of his life watching me squirm in my seat.

As soon as I dry out my fourth glass of margarita and we all finish eating, Harry announces with an innocent smile that we are going to skip dessert this night and before I even notice, we are already sharing a cab to my place, a heavy rain dropping outside.

"Seems like Gem and Dom connected really well tonight, don't you think?" I try to make conversation, my voice quivering pathetically.

"Yeah, I guess" Harry turns his gaze to the window, watching the street movements and seeming to be distracted with his own thoughts.

I wonder what is happening inside of his mind right now, is he as nervous as I am about what we're about to do?

Harry doesn't seem like the type of guy who gets nervous around s*x. Well to be honest it's not that he doesn't seem like, I actually know for a fact he doesn't. He gets nervous when talking about his feelings, when showing a bit of vulnerability, like he did a few weeks ago. But when it comes to s*x, he f*****g owns it with such ease and grace, feels like he was born knowing everything about it.

"Do you think Dom is serious about Gemma, though?" Harry suddenly questions, furrowing his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... like, they're very different people, you know? And it's obvious Dom has a major crush on my sister, but don't you think that when he gets what he wants, he'll be done with her?" Harry darts his eyes to mine for a split second before turning his glare back to the window.

Sighing, I look through the window too, watching the rain drops smashing against the glass with no mercy. Don't know if Harry realizes it, but what he just said also fits perfectly to whatever is happening between the two of us.

"I don't think so... I mean, it is strange to see Dom so hooked by a woman like that, he usually is a very promiscuous guy who enjoy his freedom too much." Keeping my voice low, I gather all my courage and rest my palm on Harry's thigh in what I hope to be a soothing touch.

"But he has been crazy about Gem since day one, when I introduced them both. She is special to him, and even if she wasn't, Dom may be a player but he is not a jerk, he would never do something like that to Gem, he cares too much about her and would never want to hurt her."

Harry keeps in silence, like he is ruminating my words before he can say anything. I watch as he gulps, his Adam's apple moving slowly up and down. His skin looks so smooth under the dim lights of the streets, and he smells so damn good being trapped with him inside of a car is almost too intoxicating.

I know I'm going to sound really f*****g sappy with I'm about to say, but Harry smells like all that is good in the world summed up to one single scent. He smells like vanilla and wooden tobacco, yeah, but there's also a hint of the coziness of being under the covers on a rainy day. He smells like fresh coffee in the mornings, like sandal and salt after a long day in the beach, like freshly washed bed linen.

Fuck, alcohol do something crazy to me, I start to trip over the most nonsensical subjects.

"Like I did." He finally mumbles under his breath and pulls me out of my own damn mind.

"What?"

"Like I did to you..." He furrowed his eyebrows even further while turning his gaze to me and pinning my eyes on mine. "Like I f****d you and flee."

The cab driver cleans his throat and I gasp, my cheeks blushing hard. "It... It was not like that" I try to reason but I can see the hurt and regret on Harry's eyes when he just shake his head and darts his eyes back to the window.

How did the mood changed so drastically in just a few seconds? I mean, like five minutes ago we were all over each other with such a s****l tension the air was thick around us and now it's like there's a big concrete wall between Harry and I.

Harry keeps quiet for the rest of the drive, which thankfully wasn't long - I live very close to Dom, we actually only took a cab because it is raining like crazy.

Entering my apartment, my hands are shaking and my stomach is turned into a knot, the funny buzz of all the margarites I drank earlier completely dissipating over the tension between Harry and I.

Harry is still very serious and quiet, his fingers fumbling around his rings, a habit I came to realize he does a lot when he is nervous or irritated. We take our shoes off, leaving them next to the front door and I hit the light switches, but nothing happens.

"Oh, f**k me" I hiss under my breath, trying again and again but of course nothing happens.

"Guess we are out of power" Harry comments and I can hear the little smirk on his voice "Do you have candles?"

Do I look like someone who has candles?

"Of course I don't" I giggle, feeling a little relieved that Harry seems to be back to his normal mood. Sometimes is really hard to keep up with him.

"What about those candles you lit up when we watched Stranger Things the other day?" Harry almost runs towards my room and I go behind him.

"They're scented candles, don't do much as lighting the place" I mumble, getting to my knees to take the said candles from the last drawer of my dresser. "I have cinnamon, vanilla and lavender. Which one do you prefer?"

"Lavender" He answers immediately "Just like your hair."

Thank f**k the room is dark because my cheeks are now blushing like crazy. I roll my eyes playfully while sorting out the lavender candles "You're so cheesy" I mock him and he just huffs.

Five minutes later and my room is filled with scented candles, thank f**k they aren't the expensive ones so the ambience isn't too heavy with the smell of lavender. It's actually quite a homy smell, fainted but present, and makes the room feels cozier with the rain dropping like crazy outside and the darkness coming from the other rooms.

Harry is standing in the middle of my room and looks like he doesn't know what to do with himself right now. The tension is back between us, but this time it's not just a s****l tension, this time the air is thick with a lot of unspoken things, expectation, fear, desire.

I would kill to know exactly what Harry is thinking right now, but he is very good at hiding himself and I'm not that good on reading people.

"I meant what I said" Harry suddenly breaks the silence, taking a step towards me and my stomach immediately tights into a knot of expectation and fear of what he will say next. "I don't think I can stay away from you even if I wanted to."

He is now towering over me and I'm completely out of breath with the overwhelming power he seems to have over me with no effort whatsoever.

"So don't" I whisper, closing my eyes when he cups my cheek with his warm hand.

"I'm no good for you" Harry mumbles, so low his deep voice is almost inaudible.

"Are you going to go away?" I ask suddenly, opening my eyes and pinning my gaze on his "Are you going to just f**k me and leave?" Lowering my voice to just a whisper, I let my fears take me over so I can talk clearly to Harry.

Because of course I'm still afraid of that happening. I'm still terrified with the idea of having a mindblowing night of s*x with Harry just to wake up to an empty bed tomorrow, as it happened before.

If that upset me all those weeks ago, when I didn't know Harry as much as I do now, if that happens again tomorrow it will f*****g wreck me. As much as I'm trying to hold my horses here, is no secret that I'm getting more and more attached to Harry as the days go by.

I remember reading something about the way I feel every time I look into Harry's eyes. It was just like on the day I was searching for something to mark my body with... A word that is capable of describe every single one of the messed up thoughts running around my mind.

"I don't want to go away" Harry mumbles, taking a loose strand of my hair with his long fingers and tucking them behind me ear "Don't think I could even if I wanted to. You know I've tried to keep my distance from you, but I can't. You attract me like the light lures a moth and I can't help it." His eyes darts from mine to my lips and he licks his own, wetting them.

My heart swells inside of my chest over his words and the feeling that takes over me is so overwhelming I don't think I'll be able to cope with it for long.

He pins his eyes on mine once again and my mind goes completely blank for a slip second and then I remember.

The definition of the word "opia" is the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable, and that describes exactly how I fell every time I look into his eyes - like he is capable of seeing every little piece of my soul while still hiding his from me.

"I'm an empty vase, love." He whispers to my ear, making my heart skip a beat and my stomach flutter "Even a narcissist, egocentric guy like me can see that you're too good and I'm not worth of your time."

I look into his emerald green eyes, fully aware that every time I hold his gaze I am drowning myself deeper into the depths of him and knowing that, no matter how it may hurt eventually, he is worthy of every little piece of my broken heart.

Getting on the tip of my toes, I smash my lips against his, trying to put all these overwhelming feelings into a kiss that is full of meaning. It's not horny, it's not rushed or desperate as our kisses usually are.

It's gentle, lips caressing each other with no hurry, so soft it feels like a plume but at the same time it carries so much meaning as I give myself completely to him.

I am his to take and all I can do know is hope for the best.