opia [h.s au]

Chapter 27

Harry's POV

When teachers presented to the class the new set of rules we should follow in order to get the best out of classes, I was always the first one to break them.

The same happened about my parents rules about college and social life. If they would say I was supposed to be home before midnight, chances were I would probably spend the entire night away and come back to their house only in the next morning.

When they said I should go to College and build myself a career so one day I could inherit my father's business, I decided to drop everything and fly around the world bringing only my camera with me.

It didn't matter if I would have to face the consequences for my rebellious acts, I always loved to break rules. I loved to question things and to do everything the only way I accept - my own.

It may sound a little hypocrite that I came up with some other rules for myself in my adult life, but even though they were rules, their major goal was one and only - to benefit myself.

That's why in my entire life I never imagined one day I would break my own rules. They just existed to make my life easier and s**t, I've been doing just fine with them... Till I met Billie.

Never take a girl out on a date.

Never f**k a friend.

Never f**k the same girl twice.

Check, check, eager to check - so much for sticking to my rules. It all became bullshit the moment I kissed her for the first time.

Me breaking rules shouldn't be so surprising, especially considering how much of a f*****g narcissistic I am. This is just me getting what is best for myself without a care in the world of how it might hurt other people.

Because I know I'll hurt Billie eventually. That's just the way I am.

However, the very thought of making Billie cry makes me wanna punch myself in the nuts. All I want is to see her careless smiles, to hear her annoying giggles and to kiss every inch of her skin every day for the rest of my life.

I'm not in love with her - I know I'm not capable of loving anyone but myself - but I don't want to be without her ever again.

Does that make sense?

Deep down, I know that I'm just being the egocentric, selfish motherfucker I am. I'm being weak to oblige to this need I have towards Billie, if I was stronger or a little less self-centered I would probably run from here, maybe even take a flight for another country, just to stay away from her. 

But I can't.

I'm just too f*****g hooked to her.

There's only thing that's even crazier than me wanting to really get to know a woman other than just f*****g her, and that's the fact that Billie seems to want the same.

How an amazing person like her would be so interested in someone like me is beyond my comprehension, but f**k, I'll hold on to this opportunity as strongly as I can.

I meant what I said last night, m'tired of fighting with myself, tired of trying to deny how addicted I am to Billie.

She is the most mesmerizing woman I've ever seen in my life and I want to get to know everything about her. I want to dwell in knowledge of her, want to be able to read her face, want to hear her voice and feel her touch every minute of every day of my f*****g existence.

Well, if I'm being honest here, I also want to be capable of making her c*m in less than a minute, I want my touch to be so overwhelming for her as hers is to me.

However, I'm probably insane for what I am going to say next, even I am having a hard time to understand myself, but I actually want to take things slow with Billie this time. I want it to be different.

In our past interactions, I was always so eager to f**k her and feel her I wasn't even able to think straight. And don't get me wrong I still have a b***r just to think about those damn lips, but I don't want to be distracted by s*x.

Sounds weird, doesn't it?

To think that I, Harry Horny Styles, someday would come up with something like that... I'd probably went insane for good. That's like, the only reasonable explanation. I went nuts.

Dr. Brown will be very disappointed when I announce it during my next therapy session.

Oh, sorry Dr. Brown but all this intense therapy crap, the bullshit yoga classes and meditation s**t didn't help. I'm crazy, coo coo, completely lost my mind.

Well there's nothing I can do about it now and actually, to be honest I think Dr. Brown will be very pleased to know that I took a step with Billie, all that need to bond and find something to really care about s**t is finally starting to happen.

Although is still very soon to say that. Billie still doesn't know how deep are my wounds and how much of a f**k up I really am. I wasn't brave enough to tell her that.

Because she will probably run when she learns the truth about me and I don't wanna lose her again.

You understand why I'm such a despicable piece of crap? I'm so f*****g selfish I'm drawing an innocent girl to the webs of my toxic self and I just can't help myself.

I need her.

~*~

"Of course you're wrong!" Billie squeals, throwing a gummy bear to my face and I'm quick to take it with my mouth. "The Queer Eye is, hands down, the best series on Netflix."

"It so isn't!" I roll my eyes "Stop talking bullshit, the best series is Stranger Things. I still can't believe you haven't watched it yet."

Billie bites down her bottom lip, looking at me with big doe eyes. "You know I don't like spooky things, they scare me." She mutters in such a little voice it actually makes me want to hug her so hard her head might pop out of her body.

Guess this is me now. Instead of wanting to f**k the soul out of Billie's body, I just wanna hug her.

What the f**k is happening to me?

I mean, of course I would love to be intimate with Billie, f**k, I can't wait to be with her in that way again, but somehow this doesn't feel so important now.

Now I just want to be close to her and get to know her better, I feel like there's so much for me to discover about her wants, needs and desires, seems like there's not enough time in the world for us to catch up for all the years we didn't know each other yet.

I'm a f*****g sappy for her, aren't I?

We just had lunch together, I made pasta with basil pesto and Billie moaned so loudly while eating, I actually was nursing a semi by the time she finished. After our awkward conversation this morning feels like a heavy weight was lift from over our shoulders and now the mood between us is much lighter and natural.

There's still the s****l tension that we'd always had but this time it's like we are calmer, less eager to get to the getting naked part. I'm adoring to spend time with Billie like that, just talking, joking around and getting lost in conversation over the most nonsense topics.

I've never seen her acting so loose and relaxed, specially towards me and I'm enjoying this new side of Billie very much.

I feel like I'm slightly different too. Of course I'm still making way too much double meaning jokes and maybe touching her more than I should, but I kinda feel calm, content. For the last few years everything that I've been feeling is sorrow, only managing to relax after numbing my feelings with booze and not so licit drugs.

Unfortunately I know this content feeling isn't permanent. There's no magic solution for the way I have been feeling over the past year and as much as I like Billie, she is no medicine. But I'll be damned if she isn't one hell of placebo.

"There's only one way to decide it" Billie throws another gummy bear to my face and this time it hits my forehead, making her giggle when I frown. "You'll have to watch The Queer Eye with me, I'll prove it to you"

"Joke's on you, I already watched it with Gemma" I chuckle, c*****g my eyebrows "You know what this means, don't you?"

"No! Absolutely not!" She squeals, jolting from her seat and taking the dirty dishes from the table "No f*****g way!"

"It's the only way we can decide which one is the best! I've already watched them both, now is your turn."

Billie opens her mouth but makes no sound. She closes it just to open it again, as if she is trying to think of something to say. Crossing my arms over my stomach, I raise my eyebrows for her with what I know is a smug look. She knows I'm right.

"I'll won't be able to sleep at night" She finally mutters, darting her eyes from mine, still holding the dirty dishes "I know it's lame but I'm a coward".

Standing up, I take the plates from her hands and put them on the sink before turning to face her, and f**k, I just can't stop smiling.

"It's not lame... But I swear, Stranger Things is not as spooky as it seems. And, you know... I may be able to help you sleep afterwards" I wink and she blushes.

"You're such a perv" Billie giggles, shoving my shoulder with her tiny hand.

"Am not!" Debating with myself for half a second, I bulge to what I want and push her towards me, hugging her small frame and placing a kiss on the top of her head.

God she smells so f*****g good.

"Will you stay the night?" Billie asks, her voice sounding muffled against my chest and she sneaks her arms around my waist, hugging me back.

"Only if you want me to" I answer her honestly, hugging her tighter.

It's strange that ever since our kiss in the morning, we haven't actually touched each other till now. We have been talking and coexisting peacefully but at the same time there's kind of a tension behind the curtains, almost as if we're afraid to touch each other.

I know that if I kiss her again, I won't be able to stop myself. She is just too intoxicating and even though I know I'm kinda good at controlling myself, there's just so much I can do about how much I want to feel her again.

Don't know what Billie is thinking about this, but I actually want to take things slow this time. The heat between us has always been so frantic, I really want to be near Billie and talk to her without the rush of f*****g her already.

"Of course I want" I can hear  the smile in her voice and it melts my insides a little, my heart jumping inside of my chest now that I know she wants us to be close too.

"I may need one of your big t-shirts, though" I let her go against my will and give her a little smile "I slept with no shirt last night and this one I'm wearing is too dirty for using at the bed."

"That can be managed, and you can take a shower if you want to..." She smiles but suddenly her face falls "What about underwear? I'm sure none of mine will fit you."

Fuck.

Don't think about Billie's underwear, don't think about Billie's underwear, don't think about ripping Billie's underwear out of her body and eating her out here at the kitchen counter.

Jesus, I got no self control.

"Well.." I say with a smirk that makes Billie's cheeks go full crimson even before I end my sentence "I can always go commando."

"Oh, f**k you" Billie rolls her eyes but her voice is playful "I actually may have something from Dom's, I've lost the count of how many times he crashed in my couch, let me see if I can find something" Her voice trails off as she leaves the kitchen, walking towards her bedroom, and for a moment I'm completely paralyzed.

I mean, I know Billie and Dom are friends ever since forever but I can't help the little sting in my heart when she mentioned he sleeping here. Did they share a bed when he crashes? And why the hell would Dom leave his underwear behind? Why did he needed to take them off anyway?

What if they aren't just friends, as I believed them to be? What if they're like, friends with benefits? f**k buddies? It would make perfect sense, they're both hot as f**k, young and single, it would be completely normal if they friendship became something else eventually, I mean, it is kinda expected, really.

Maybe Billie will talk about it if I ask her nicely? I know it's none of my business but just the thought of her sharing a bed with Dom and doing God-knows-what with him makes me want to puke.

It doesn't make sense for me to go and ask her about it, but now that I know there's the possibility of that actually happening, I don't know how to deal with it. I feel my blood boiling in my veins and when Billie comes back to the kitchen holding a pair of black shorts, it's like something snaps inside of me.

"Here, I found these..."  She says absently, still looking at the fabric in her hands "I think they'll fit."

As if my body is completely disconnected from my mind, I take a step towards Billie, ripping the shorts out of her hands and throwing it at the ground. She looks at me with a frown, but before she could say something, I shove her body against the kitchen counter behind her, grabbing her waist in a tight grip and getting so close to her face I can actually see her pores.

A little yelp falls from her lips and with no second thoughts I crash my mouth against her, putting all my need and intent on a kiss I'm sure she will never forget.

Billie moans inside of my mouth and the sounds seems to connect straight to my d**k that's already throbbing. I will never understand how this woman can get me hard just by looking at me but hey, I'm not complaining.

She sneaks her arms around my neck, getting to the tip of her toes while she kisses me back as hard as I'm kissing her and I grab her waist ever tighter with one hand while I travel the other to grasp her neck, squeezing it lightly, not enough to hurt but just enough to make she breaks her lips from mine to catch her breath.

I open my eyes just in time to see her pupils blowing up and the vision makes me groan, so she is into some rough, isn't she? That's so good to know.

Billie tangles her finger in my hair and pull my roots gently. The air is catched in my lungs and my whole body is tingling, buzzing with so much excitement one may think I'm under some kind of drug, my heart slamming hard against my chest.  I kiss her with urge, grunting inside of her mouth.

Her hands find their way under my t-shirt and she scratches my back, panting inside of my mouth. Tangling my fingers in her hair, I pull her roots roughly, snapping her lips from mine and Billie groans loudly when I attach my lips to her neck, sucking her skin.

"f**k" I hiss in her ear, now grabbing her bum with both my hands and pulling her up. She wraps her legs around my waist and even though she is wearing yoga pants, I friction my c**k against her heat and I could swear I felt it throbbing.

"Wanna f**k you so hard" I groan, unable to keep myself quiet. "Can make your body sing so good you're going to forget your name" I press her harder against the wall, feeling every inch of her body that is glued to mine.

Fuck, I need to stop. If I go on I won't be able to end with this before we're both satisfied and although it sounds f*****g great to me, I know we both will regret later. This is not taking things slow, this is not getting to know each other better.

With that in mind, I take a step back, still holding Billie so she can slowly come back to reality and stand on her feet again. She whines with my sudden distance and I kiss the top of her head, than lean my forehead against hers, nuzzling our noses. Both of us are panting, our chests raising quickly as we try to recover our breath.

"f**k, B." I hoarsely whisper "There's so much I wanna do to you... But I don't think it's the right time... I want us to take things slow this time."

She nods, her breath quivering a little. "This is going to be hard as f**k" She mutters.

"Not as hard as I'll f**k you when the right time arrives" I smirk and Billie slaps my chest, giggling with redden cheeks.

"Jesus, you can really ruin a cute moment, can't you?" She rolls her eyes playfully and I give her a lopsided grin.

~*~

Dom's shorts fitted me just fine, but the t-shirt Billie landed to me is a little tight around my shoulders and chest. I shouldn't be surprised, I'm obviously way taller and larger than she is but this t-shirt usually looks so big for her I was expecting it to be big for me too.

Guess I was wrong.

I had to take a cold shower after our little mess in the kitchen, having to end it own my on under the running water in order to blow off some steam and release some one the tension. However it kinda worked, I'm still feeling very sexually frustrated as I enter Billie's room, still rubbing the towel in my hair.

I had to use her shampoo and now I smell like Billie and it kind of overwhelms me how comfortable I am with this.

"Hey, you"  She smiles when she notices my presence, fluffing the pillows on her bed, Stranger Things already paused in the TV.

"Hey" I give her a coy smile "It looks so cozy in here"  I look around, taking in the details she prepared while I was in the bathroom.

Her bed is filled with cushions and pillows, there's a white comforter pooling at the feet of the bed and although the lights are off, she scattered a few scented candles over the furniture surfaces all around the room. It smells like cinnamon and there's a faint scent of vanilla, making the perfect mix.

"Well you're looking at a specialist in laying around and watching series, love" She mimics my accent on love "A connoisseur, if you will."

"You're so lame"  I roll my eyes, jumping over the bed and damn, this is f*****g comfortable!

"I'm awesome" She shrugs, grabbing two big cups from Wendy's I hadn't noticed before and handling one of them to me "I ordered milkshake for us while you were in the shower. It's vanilla, my favorite. Hope you like it."

"It's perfect" I yank her body towards mine as soon as she sits on the edge of the bed, and five seconds later we are so cozied up in each others arms I'm afraid we will end up sleeping through the entire series.

By the end of the first episode, Billie relaxed visibly by my side. " It's not so scary" She announces with a little grin and pride in her eyes "And to be honest it's quite interesting, I wanna know what happened to Will, poor boy."

Without hesitation, I lean towards her and give her a peck in the lips. This just feels like something I wanted to do and seems natural, not at all out of the place. I'd never had this kind of interaction with a woman before, just laying in bed, watching series and trading chaste kisses with no second intentions and although it feels kinda weird, there's no place I would rather be right now.

Billie smiles at me, her eyes lingering on my lips for a few seconds before she turns her gaze back to the TV, as if she just broke from a hypnotic state "Let's watch another one!"

We end up watching five more episodes, spending the entire day wrapped around each other in a confusion of limbs, her head nuzzled in my chest while I stroke her back with my fingertips, and feels like f*****g paradise.

It's endearing how much she jumps with the tiniest of yelps to every scary scene and I'm very proud to tell that by the end of episode six she was completely hooked to the story. But not as much as I was hooked to watch her every reaction, how big her eyes grow at moments of tension and how her entire face lit up when she smiled or laughed.

I could watch her all day, and that's exactly what I did.

Now is like midnight and Billie fell asleep a few minutes ago, pausing the TV before it could start the seventh episode. She is so nuzzled up against me I don't feel like moving ever again, so I just wrap my arms around her body, yanking her even closer to me, and close my eyes, even though I know my insomnia won't let me sleep tonight.

Specially because I didn't take my medicine all day long.

However, the tiredness creeps around my mind and to my surprise, I fell asleep just a few minutes after Billie.