opia [h.s au]

Chapter 20

Although I came to Gemma's room after the... Event with Harry, I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night.

Harry will never make sense to me, will he?

I can't even begin to try and understand whatever happened during the early hours of today. All those things that he said made my heart flutter, it was like hearing things I always wanted but never knew about it.

He put into words the same thoughts and feelings I have towards him, but never had the courage to admit it. The way he never leaves my mind and how everything about him is captivating to me somehow.

For a split moment I thought those things he said meant something, and that it could be a next step to whatever dynamics we have. But of course I was being too much of an optimistic to even think about it.

Truth is, I know I didn't imagine this strange connection Harry and I share. It's not only about the amazing chemistry our bodies have, we seem to connect on a soul level kind of s**t. Don't know how to explain it, but even when the mood is awkward things seems to roll off easily between the two of us.

I feel better about myself and about the world when I'm next to Harry, it's like he brings me a different point of view without even trying. I felt it ever since the first time we saw each other, that night at Sinner, even though I didn't understand what the f**k was that at the time.

I don't act completely like myself when I'm around Harry, I get bolder, stronger, more confident and a little reckless. Somehow the way I'm when I'm with him feels more like myself than when he is not around. It's like Harry awakens a part that has been hidden inside of me.

I know this all sounds romantic, sappy as f**k really, but it's not that simple and unfortunately life it's not so easy and predictable like that.

Although I can recognize it all, that doesn't mean I'm in love with Harry, damn, I don't know him well enough for that. I don't even know myself well enough to understand if I like the person I am when I'm around him. This strange connection that we share should be something like in the romances, we fit like two pieces of the same puzzle and will always be happy ever after, the end.

But it's not. There's one little detail that makes this connection bullshit lose all its meaning - the simple fact that neither of us wants to explore it.

He always made pretty clear he is not the dating type, the commitment type and I know for sure that I would never be able to have a relationship with him. He is too much of a free spirit, too young, too f*****g immature. I may sound like a lunatic talking about commitment and stuff so soon, but I know myself - if I have feelings for the person, if we share something more than physical attraction, I would never be able to imagine this person with somebody else.

I don't care about the labels but I do care about loyalty, and unfortunately I'm a very monogamous person. And I know for a fact that Harry would never be able to give me what I need.

Besides, Harry may not understand what is happening between the two of us but he sure is terrified of it. So f*****g terrified he ran from me like someone would flee from the plague.

I don't blame him, though. Whatever this bond we share is, I'm afraid of it too. It's too much intense, too overpowering and scary as f**k. After Sam broke my heart so mercilessly, I promised myself I would never give that kind of power to anybody else. And let's be honest here, connection or no connection, Harry is far from being the person who would change that for me.

He is too complicated and there's no way I could make out of it alive. So, as far as I'm concerned, there's absolutely nothing between us.

Not a damn thing.

~*~

"I'm gonna kill that motherfucker" Dom bellows, making Gemma and I jolt in our seats and attracting some very unpleasant looks.

"Shh! Dom, control yourself, f**k" I scold him, but can't stop the smirk in my lips.

We are sitting at a pub close to Dom's apartment. After having a really hard time convincing Gem to leave her house, we finally managed to bring her here. It was Dom's idea, of course.

I gave up trying to sleep around 8 am this morning, my mind rushing too much around the same subject it always do - Harry. Although I was afraid of bumping into him at the kitchen, I had to eat something so I left Gemma's bed and tip toed towards the kitchen.

However, Harry had already left his morning jog. I would never in a million years imagine him like the jogging type of person, especially in a Sunday morning, f***s sake. If someday you see me getting up before 10 am on a weekend to workout, please lock me up in a padded cell.

I got cozy in the living room, cold pizza in one hand and my phone in the other, Friends streaming on TV while I ate and talked to Dom, telling him the basics about what happened. Of course I didn't give him any details, that's up to Gemma, I didn't know how much she wanted to share right not.

I was surprised that Dom did not celebrate the end of Gemma's relationship. He seemed to be so concerned he completely focused on how she is feeling and how could we help her to get better. That made my heart swell with pride of my best friend. He may look like a bad boy, he may be one of the most promiscuous person I've ever seen in my life, but he does have a heart of gold.

By the time Gemma left the bed, Dom was practically begging me to come over so we could help Gem together, watch movies and make her laugh. I didn't expect her to want to see anybody right now, let alone talk about what happened between Adam and her, but to my surprise she agreed almost instantly when I mentioned Dom's name.

He arrived fifteen minutes after I told him to come over and that must have been some kind of record. I find it so f*****g cute how much he cares about her, it almost gets me jealous.

Although it was early, Dom managed to convince Gemma of getting out of the apartment and that's how we ended up here, having lunch at a pub. Gemma just told Dom everything that happened, and I have to say it surprised me that she said it all, not trying to sugar coat it or letting some details off.

"Seriously, Gem, I'm about to take a flight right now to Toronto just so I can kick his ass" Dom takes Gemma's hand, squeezing it between their huge palms "I mean it. How could he?"

Gem shrugs, her cheeks getting a little red with the sudden contact with Dom. I'm loving to watch their interaction, it's cute and kind of pure, Dom respects Gemma so much and she is just so innocent about it all, she have no idea how much he is attracted to her and it's really endearing to see the way he looks at her when he thinks nobody is watching.

"You don't need to do that" Gem says, smiling faintly "I just don't want to see him ever again."

"Have he tried to contact you?" I suddenly ask. I know, I should've asked her before but I am with Gem ever since yesterday and didn't notice anything, but it doesn't hurt to ask. Now that I'm thinking about it, I haven't seen her touch her phone during the past 18 hours or so.

"Yes, he has been calling nonstop" Gem rolls her eyes but I can see the hurt behind this careless act "But I didn't answer, and I'm not planning to. He called Harry too, before I even got here, but Harry told him to f**k off" She grins with her mouth closed.

"And hows your brother, by the way? I only seen him that day in my party but he seemed to be a nice fella" Dom smiles, giving me the side eyes when Gem is not looking. Oh the cheeky bastard.

I don't know why I haven't told Gem about Harry and I, I mean, I don't think she would be upset with me or something like that. s**t, knowing Gem she would just be happy to see her friend and brother getting along just fine. However, something has kept me from telling her... And obviously Harry didn't say a word, otherwise she would probably confront my about it.

"He is okay" Gemma shrugs "That's a lot going on in his life right now, I hate to overwhelm him with my problems."

"How so? He is your brother, it's his duty to be by your side" Dom comments, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I know, but... He just have so much in his plate right now, I don't want to be the one to unload more problems for him to deal with. Harry is... Harry is a wonderful person, really, I love him dearly but he have major difficulty in dealing with feelings and stuff."

I turn my head towards Gemma, eager to hear more about Harry but at the same time trying to look nonchalant about it. Dom throws me a dirty look, fully aware of how much interest I actually am on the subject.

"But you're his sister, Gem, give the guy some credit I'm sure he can help you" Dom extends his hand to take a strand of Gem's hair, putting it behind her ear. His hand lingers for half a second more than the necessary on her chin, but she doesn't seem to care.

"He is wonderful. But he can't deal with me right now, got too much on his place" Gem's voice starts to break "He came here for me to help him, not the other way around. f*****g Adam just ruined everything!"

"What are you talking about?" I raise my eyebrows, my heart suddenly racing its pace.

Shit, no matter how much I say to myself Harry is not the person for me, I still have goosebumps every time his name is mentioned. And at the end of the day, I still want to know more about him.

"It's really not my place to tell" Gem shakes her head, dismissively "I can't give you details, Harry would kill me. All I can say is he is going through a really hard time, he has not been emotionally stable for the past few years... All that partying and travelling done more bad than good to his life. And I worry about him so, so much" At this point, tears run down freely on Gem's cheeks and she sobs a little "He is my baby brother, all I want is to see him happy. I can't break in front of him."

My head is spinning with all that Gem just said. I know it was not much, damn, to be honest it just added more to the mystery Harry is to me. A whole new package of questions just formed in my mind, what does she mean by him not being emotionally stable? I mean, I know for a fact he is not very good at dealing with emotions, but maybe I just don't know how much of a problem this can be for him.

"I know Harry looks like a guy with everything figured out" Gem breaks the silence again, after taking deep breaths to try and even her breath "And during most of the time he really is that kind, cheeky, smart ass dude with the greatest sense of humor ever. But under that mask he is a completely different person. He is broken."

"What happened to him?" I can't even disguise the worry in my voice right now, and I don't care.

"I'm sorry. I already told you more than I should. Please, swear to me you'll never tell Harry' Gem looks at me with begging eyes and I nod, hugging her.

"Whoa, I think that's enough with the bad vibes" Dom tries to lighten the mood a bit "I think it's time for dessert!"

After almost eating the three desserts all by himself - Gemma alleged to have an upset stomach and me being still to drown to whatever is happening to Harry - Dom offered to take us back to Gem's place to watch some movies.

We all jumped to his car and the fifteen minutes drive to Gem's apartment went by in comfortable silence. I'm sitting on the back seat so Gemma could be in the front with Dom, and I watched carefully all of their interactions. I saw when we stopped at a red sign and Gemma sighed loudly, so Dom placed his large hand over her tight and squeezed it gently. I watched as she looked at him and gave him a sad smile, and it was hard for me not to squeal watching how f*****g cute they are together.

I even saw Dom's cheeks blushing more than once, and I swear that it's like the first time I see that sly motherfucker being shy. I know it's too soon but may I say I'm really rooting for those two?

They would make such a beautiful couple!

"Here ya go" Dom announces as he parks in front of Gemma's building "Why don't you go upstairs while I ran some errands for our movie afternoon?"

"What in the name of f**k you are going to shop?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"Candy and stuff. Maybe some popcorn" Dom shrugs.

"You just ate like three f*****g desserts, Dom! For f***s sake you're like an empty bag". I playfully roll my eyes, shoving his shoulder with my hand.

"What can I say? Imma big guy" Dom gives me a sly smile "Come on, I'll buy you some ice cream" He winks. This cheeky motherfucker knows exactly how to poke my soft spot.

"Ok, fine. Gem, let's go upstairs so we can arrange things?"

Gem turns her gaze to me, her eyes still a little bloodshot red but I'm happy to say that she looks slightly less upset than she was yesterday.

"Actually I think I'm going with Dom... There's something that I need..."

Yeah, right.

I fight the urge of making some kind of double-meaning joke and just throw Dom a knowing smile. It's cute to see that he just cannot stop the grin that's all over his face.

"Fine, but I'll choose the movie this time. I know" I raise my voice when Gemma opens her mouth to protest "Nothing romantic, dramatic or even slightly emotional."

We go in separate ways, Dom and Gemma crossing the street towards a 7-Eleven and I enter the building, calling the elevator even though she lives in the second floor. Yeah, I know, I'm lazy, what's new about that?

I realize there's something wrong in the moment I step out of the elevator. There's vicious screams filling the air and all I can make out of the sounds are the words "f*****g", "motherfucker" and "hell", all of them spelled with that unmistakable accent I like so much.

Harry.

Running along the hallway, I finally manage to Gemma's apartment door, which is wide open. I stop in my feet as soon as my eyes takes in the scene in front of me.

A shirtless Harry holds an angry Adam by his neck, pinning him against the wall with so much rage in his green eyes they're actually looking darker, even with the distance. Adam's nose is bleeding and he has a cut on his bottom lip and Harry's face is so close to his their noses are almost touching.

"If you step foot in this building again, I'll f*****g kill you" Harry hisses at Adam's face, his jaw so firmly shut it could cut glass "Did you hear me? Get the hell out of here before I change my mind!" He yells, still completely unaware of my presence.

"Har..Harry, please" Adam scoffs as soon as Harry's hand lets go of his neck "I just need to talk to Gemma... I need to explain her what happened, it's not what it looked like..."

"So you weren't f*****g another w***e in the same day your girlfriend was supposed to arrive?" Harry almost spits at Adam's face.

"It was an accident" Adam murmurs, sounding desperate and Harry rolls his eyes, still towering over Adam's small frame. He is not that short but next to Harry he looks like a child, but maybe it has something to do with the way Harry's presence seems to be so overwhelming right now.

"An accident?" Harry laughs coldly and the sound is chilling "So she just tripped and fell over your d**k, is that what you're saying?"

Before I even realize or have a chance to control myself, I snort loudly and both Harry and Adam snaps their heads towards me. I put cover my mouth with my hands, trying to disguise the grin that is trying to crack on my lips.

Perfect timing for your dumb sense of humor, Billie.

What can I do? I laugh when I'm nervous.

"Billie!" Adam runs towards me with big doe eyes "Please, tell Harry I need to see Gemma! Please, I need to talk to her, I'm desperate."

I look at Adam, eyes impossibly swollen and bloodshot red, but not was red as the blood dripping from his nose and the light shade covering his right cheek - probably were Harry punched him. I can see the desperation on his eyes, the way he is shivering, how much of pain shows behind those clean blue eyes of his.

It's a pitiful sight, really, the man look like he has been through hell and back. But there's no amount of pity in the world capable of making me forget the state I found Gemma in last night, the way she yelled while crying, sounding like a wounded animal and it was all because of him. This disgusting motherfucker who couldn't keep his d**k inside of his pants.

"No, Adam, I'm sorry" Even though I tried to sound gentle, I know my voice is cold, can't help it. "You need to leave, now. You lost your chance with Gemma, please leave her alone."

"I love her so much!" Adam cries, pulling his own hair in desperation and whistling loudly "Please just let me explain..."

"If you loved her you wouldn't be f*****g other bitches!" Harry yells, his hand closing on a fist again as he walks towards Adam and I "Don't you dare say you love her!"

"You know nothing about love, kiddo, you're just a spoiled little s**t who doesn't know a damn thing about life" Adam spits in Harry's face and before I realize what I'm doing, I put my body between the two of them, desperately trying to keep their hands off of each other.

Harry's eyes are so full of rage I can barely recognize him, but the moment he sees me, he stops, looking down at me "Billie, get out of my way" He hisses under his breath, placing his large hand on my shoulder to try and push me from his front.

"No! Harry, don't do this, think about Gemma, how much she would be upset" I try to bargain with Harry, holding my ground, my hand open in his chest to try and make him be distant.

"He doesn't care about anyone but himself, Billie" Adam says in my back, his voice full of despise "He doesn't care about Gemma."

"How dare you?" Harry hisses, his voice dropping to an octave and he takes a step forward, almost pinning my body against Adam's on the most awkward human sandwich ever.

"Harry, please, don't listen to him. He is hurt" I try to reason with Harry "Adam, leave, now" I raise my voice to Adam.

"You don't need to protect me, Billie" Adam says and his voice is dripping venom "The only one who needs protection is our Harry boy here, so lost and sad and s**t!"

"Adam, stop! Please, stop" I hush him when I see something flickering on Harry's eyes and I know he is about to explode. "You have to go. Now. Please."

"I won't go anywhere without talking to Gemma first! I have the right to see her, we are together for five years!" Adam yells, sounding beyond desperate and sitting on the floor like a stubborn child refusing to leave f*****g Playland.

Harry takes a step forward, but I use all of my strength to hold both his shoulders, trying to make eye contact with him. He looks over my shoulder to where Adam is, but when I whisper "Harry, look at me, please" His gaze turn to me and he pins his eyes on mine.

It's like someone just hit "mute" in the entire universe, the moment our eyes connects everything seems to freeze and the world stops spinning around us. It's just Harry and I and for what seems like eternity I lost myself on the green of his eyes.

"I'll deal with Adam. Please, go inside" I whisper under my breath to Harry and his eyes seems to clarify a little with the sound of my voice "Please."

Harry sighs, then nods, giving me a warning look. "Don't let him come near Gemma."

"I won't." I give Harry a faint smile and he takes a step backwards.

"Just like I was expecting, the poor little troubled Harry hiding himself behind a women's skirt at the moment things starts to get ugly" Adam spits behind me.

Oh, f**k you, you dumb s**t.

I step aside, opening the way to Harry. I don't understand why Adam had to be so f*****g dumb, but I had enough of him. He is the responsible of Gemma's pain and that alone is enough to make me f*****g hate him, but he had to provoke Harry as well. It doesn't even make sense, I mean, if you want to gain the girl back you should know how to please her family, don't you?

With one quick movement Harry pulls Adam up from the collar of his shirt, shoving his back against a wall again, his big hand wrapping around Adam's throat. "Say it again" He groans and I hate myself for what I'm going to say next.

But damn, that was hot.

What is wrong with me??

"Hey cookie, look who I've foun- What the f**k is happening here?" Dom's voice takes me out of my trance and I look in his direction.

Dom is carrying a lot of brown bags, his eyes widen towards Harry and Adam. Gemma is right next to him looking like she is in shock, I can't even say if she is breathing right now. And behind them, with a nonchalant expression of someone who doesn't have a clue of what is happening, it's Callum.