Heart desired

//Chapter 31//

"What?" I asked, confused. "Why all of a sudden? Why now?"

Nobody answered me. The answer was clear enough. I had been rescued from the heart of the Rawen. Daniel must be suspecting the Elkelyns. After all, I did not have that many friends who are alive.

It was all starting again. Because I was free.

I grabbed Resh's hands. "Quick, put me back in a prison. It's all starting again. All of this is happening because I am free now. I have to go back. Please." I didn't know what I was saying. All I knew was that I had to stop the destruction from happening. I could not afford to seek anymore. I did not know who I would lose this time.

"Calm down." Resh released his hands from mine and took mine, squeezing them with enough pressure to make my head clear up. "Breathe. In. Out. Again."

I followed his lead, breathing as he instructed. My head cleared up slowly. Resh released me and helped my onto a table between two book shelves.

Even though my head cleared up, the fact that I was the cause for this attack did not change. I wanted to go back to that cell. At least, people were still living in peace when I was in it.

Savin handed me cup of water he found from who knows where. I didn't even see him moving. I took the cup and looked at him. His slightly swelled lips reminded me of what we had been doing a minute ago. I quickly looked away and drank the water in one go.

"You are talking nonsense." Resh said, taking the cup from mr once I finished. "Your fri-" he caught himself. "King of Rawen didn't start the attacks again because of you. He would have done that eventually. Rescuing you just sped that process up a little. So if anyone was to blame, it would be me."

"Or me." Savin said. "I was the one who initiated everything. I got the permission, I gathered the crew, and I led them your way underground to rescue you. You insisted on staying there, but I promised you it will be alright. I'm the one to blame."

"Not you. Me." Resh said, waving a hand and dismissing Savin's remark.."I was too cought up in hatred for my father I did not think through of what was happening. I left her to get kidnapped and imprisoned, trusting that friend of hers. If I had-"

"You had to went there because I asked you to." Savin cut him off. "Same for Nasha. If I haven't brought her to Elkelyn, none of this would have happened."

"You brought her on my orders." Resh glared at Savin. "I was the one who wanted to save our kingdom from Elf attacks. I was the who needed someone on our side to infiltrate Rawen any time they could. I was the one who wanted that to be Nasha."

"Under king's orders." Savin stated with a expressionless face. I could not look at him and not think about the kiss and the confession.

"Yes, but it was still my plan." Resh said, examining his nails. "I was the one-"

I watched them argue for no f*****g reason. No matter what they claimed, I knew the fault lied within me. They did not receive any warnings to stop seeking.

I had sought the person who left me a note in my locker. I had sought the person who appeared in my nightmares. I had sought Elkelyn, wanting to know more. I had sought answers. I had sought for a way to restore everything back to normal in Rawen.

Long before that, I had sought for a way to defeat the ministers with my friends. That cost me all of my friends, including the one I managed to rescue.

"Stop." I said. Both of them stopped arguing and looked at me. I shook my head. "This is a library. Let's go somewhere else and talk about this."

"I am glad you realised that." Someone said from the second floor. We all looked up at once. A young scholar with an annoyed face was glaring at us, his glasses sliding down his nose. "With all the arguing, kissing and fighting, I thought you were going to start living here."

"Did you see him before?" I asked quietly.

"Nope." Savin replied confidently, lying through his teeth. I glared at him. There was no way he didn't see him.

"Kissing?" Resh asked, confused.

"Let's go." I said, before I could die from embarrassment. "He must have seen wrong."

"Yeah, right." He spoke from above, sarcasm dripping from his tone. "If you can't help with anything worthy, at least be quiet or get the hell out of here."

"Is that a way to talk to the royalty, you baffoon?" An elderly scholar came out of somewhere and scolded the younger one, slapping him on the back of his head.

"But look at them! I couldn't focus on a single thing because of them! One moment, they are arguing and then they are all tangled-"

"Sorry to bother you." I bowed my head in a courtesy before dragging Savin and Resh outside. We are leaving now."

"It's fine if you don't come back." That rude boy said. I could see his rolling eyes from ten feet away.

"Ah yes," Resh said as I dragged them outside. "I forgot. The king called for the council right now."

"Right now?!" I asked, staring at him in disbelief. "Aren't we running late?"

"Probably." Savin said. I looked at him to see him already looking at me. He smiled sideways.

My heart decided to do a tap dance inside my chest.

As if sensing it, Savin winked at me. I looked away. This was dangerous. I could not take him as my lover knowing it would kill him in the future.

"Let's hurry." I said, speeding up.

"Did you guys really kiss?" Resh asked, looking between us.

I was sure my face was heating up. Why does everybody keep bringing that up?

"Yup." Savin said. I whipped my head around to look at him. He was looking at the sky, smiling to the clouds. "It was the best kiss I've ever had. She took me-"

"Oh, I asked a yes or no question." Resh glared at him. "Keep the details to yourself. That's my sister you are talking about."

"And I'm right here." I said, my face burning. "Yes, I kissed him first. Yes, it was good. No, it won't happen again. That was a momentary mistake. We are not together. Is that enough information to you?" I asked Resh.

"We will see about that." Savin replied instead.

I did not get the chance to respond. I guard came running towards us. "Your Highnesses, the king summons you. Right now." He was panting, trying to catch his breath.

I thanked him and turned to the other two. "Let's run."