Heart desired

//Chapter 30//

I remembered what happened yesterday and cringed.

I had gone to the training area where Kylan and Kahlee was having a dual. When I arrived after the audience, forty to sixty soldiers were cheering them, chanting each other's names. Kahlee had her teeth bared and Kylan was melting the floor beneath him.

Zone was there too. He looked bored out of his mind as he craved the earth in front of him to little blocks of soil. I sat beside him. Looking closer, I saw him mounting those cubes into ants to carry them. He told me it was fun.

When the dual ended, the twins were on the ground, both choking each other. An elder looking soldier came and stopped it immeadietly before one of them died on the spot.

Then, Resh had taken me to the ring. We put away out capes before starting in to circle each other. I thought I was having an easy win, but before I could react, Resh had me down, his punch to my stomach making me see the stars. I did not even have the time to reach out and make an illusion.

I subconsciously touched my stomach as the memory surfaced. It still hurt.

Savin followed my action and let out a sigh. "See, you are still weak. I would like to suggest reading and resting in your room, but I know you would not even hear me out."

His hand was still on my hip. I was sandwiched between him and a glass shelf. His touch and this position was really distracting.

"I can do both reading and training." I said, shifting away from his grip. His face changed expressions for a moment before he took his hand away and tucked it in his pocket. Even though his hand was not there, the ghost of his touch was still burning.

"That's overworking." He said. "I think you should focus on getting better. I know you can't eat and sleep well yet. You try to act like nothing is wrong. You were in that Eternal Prison, Nasha. And it is your most trusted person who hurt you. You don't have to keep it all in. I can help you. Resh can help you. Don't give me that fake smile and please talk."

I stared at him. Was it that obvious that I faked my laugh? How did he know about my eating and sleeping habits?

"I'm fine." I said, turning away from him. Was what he said true? Obviously. But I did not want to open up or talk about it. Certainly not now, when I was feeling like there is a lump on my throat and my eyes were stinging.

I saw a scholar carrying some documents come out of a door and go back in to another door, without even glancing at us. Maybe a guy trapping a girl to a book shelf was not that uncommon in here. Or maybe this was the usual behavior of Savin.

Savin looked at the ceiling in frustation. "Did you not hear a word I said? Please, just-"

"Why?" I asked, cutting him off.

He looked baffled. "Huh?"

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, clenching my hands. "Why is it that you are the one who is always there for me? We are not even that close. People say that you are the only one who believed that I was alive. You are the one who came to rescue me. I was fine in that cell! I was finally wasn't worried about killing everybodg I knew! You are the one always interfering!" At this point, I was sure my voice was loud.

He was going pale by every word coming out of my mouth. I wanted to scream at his handsome face. That was not how I felt at all. I just couldn't stop the words nor the venom in them.

He covered a side of his face with a hand. "Do you... do you hate me that much?"

I didn't.

"Tell me why." I asked instead.

He dropped his hand. "Isn't it obvious?" He asked, closing his eyes, as if the words themselves hurt him. "I like you."

My world stopped spinning and became dead silent. There was only me and him, face to face, staring at each other, Ruby to Emerald. A minute passed. Perhaps two.

I had no idea how much time passed.

"Please say something." Savin said. "Anything."

"That's a lie." I could hear myself. "You don't like me. You are lying."

He stared at me. "No." He said. "I don't know what made you think that, but-"

I heard a distant laugh. I think it was me who was laughing. "You don't know what made me think that?" I laughed. "Hahahahaha!"

The look on his face was like a blow on to my stomach. I wanted me to stop talking. Only I knew how much I appreciated him. And I was hurting him. I didn't know how I could wield that much power over someone like him.

"What are you talking about?" He asked. His voice was distant in my head. There was a scream inside my head, a girl pleading to be let out of her prison, to embrace him and say it was all a joke. That I liked him back.

She was locked for a reason.

"You manipulated me in to a blood oath I did not want. I don't know how you did it, but you made someone stab me in the heart. You wanted me to have s*x with Daniel!" I said. "Do you do that to the person you like? Or is that also a tradition in this stupid place?"

His eyes were wide. "I... I-"

"Stop trying." I turned away from him. "And don't fool yourself to think that you like me. There is nothing between us."

There was a silence. It was so quiet for some time. I was starting to wonder if he had left when a pair of arms came around me, tucking me to his chest. "Am I the only one feeling this?" He asked, snuggling his face to my neck. "This spark... am I the only one burning?"

That voice. I wanted to stop his talking.

The next moment, I was kissing him, my hands around his neck. He didn't hesitate for a second before pushing me against the shelves once more and responding to my lips.

There was nothing in this world except his lips. He tasted like fire in my mouth. Our lips danced against each other, pulling and pushing, exploring and yielding.

Then I was at an island, with everybody lying around me, dead. And this time, Savin was the closest corpse to me. His face was frozen in pain-

"Welcome, Prince of Elkelyn."

I froze as the door announced Resh. We both stepped away from each other. His hair was messy from where my hands have been, clothes were wrinkled from pressing against my body. I was sure I was as messy as he was.

"That meant nothing." I said before Resh came to us. "I can never be with you. I'm sorry."

Savin licked his lips. "We will see about that."

I turned away from him, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach. I quickly tapped the nearest shelf, grabbed a book and flipped it to middle to pretend like I had been reading this whole time, despite what my clothes and hair suggested.

Resh rushed towards me. "We have to talk."

I closed the book. "What is it?"

He got straight to the point. "After two years." He said, "The Elves had attacked again."