Heart desired

//Chapter 35//

Kahlee was furious. I did my best to clam her down as she paced here and there, kicking the stones on her path.

"It's okay." I said. "Even I was surprised that someone resisted that illusion a little. I honestly did not expect anyone to fight it."

"Still, someone did it." She said. "And that was that stupid Cymel's son! He is not even a soldier. He is a stupid scholar! And I was also receiving the exact same illusion, but I couldn't resist it!"

Savin brushed the bridge of his nose, clearly avoiding the conversation. I tried to look guilty. "Maybe I went easy on him. I may have given you an extra power. Sometimes that happens."

She sat down on the floor and looked directly at me, narrowing her eyes. "You are just saying that to make me feel better. There's no way you would have messed up."

Once again, she was right. I gave her a sheepish smile.

We were in my bedroom. I was inspecting Savin's purple tinted scars, talking about that soldier who broke through my illusion when Kahlee barged in, having eavesdropped to our conversation. Savin was still shirtless and somehow it distracted me for no reason. His lean body was packed with muscles, and here and there, luminous purple tinted scars decorated his body.

As if sensing my stare, he looked up at me. I looked away from him, my face heating up more than I liked. Since when did I become a pervert?

"Let's talk with him tomorrow." I said. "It's getting late. Lady Draken must be worried. Naeoh must be waiting for you to play with him, since Kylan is not here either. Don't get upset. We will aske how he did it, and you can use the same method. After all, nobody had done that before, so his discovery is going to be a good support for everybody."

"I am not upset. I feel useless." Kahlee buried her head on her hands. "Kylan is on a mission. You are training yourself while overseeing our training, working to the bone. Even that stupid scholar can master his own thoughts, but I can't."

"So," Savin spoke. "I guess you are going to stay the same, whining and throwing a tantrum." I looked at him, wide eyed. Kahlee was just a kid. Whay if that kind of pressure break her more?

Kahlee looked up, eyes wide. She stayed silent for several seconds before standing and dusting herself off. "You are right. I am going to train more and I am going to surpass Alde. I will not watch him beat me up." She turned to Savin. "Thank you."

Savin waved her off. "No need to thank me. I just hate whining children."

Kahlee grinned. "By the way, I came here because mom asked you to come and have tea tomorrow afternoon with us. Both of you are invited."

"We will come." I said.

Kahlee nodded and bowed. "I will take my leave then, princess, prince."

"Be careful." I said. "It's dark outside."

"Okay!" She said. Soon, I heard her footsteps hitting the stairs.

I looked at Savin. "Is there something on my face? You keep staring at me for so long now."

"You said 'we'." He grinned. "You made the decision for me."

I stared at him. I had indeed done that, totally unaware of my own actions. I had acknowledged whatever this was between us.

This was getting way more dangerous.

"That doesn't mean anything." I said. "I just said that to get Kahlee off our backs. You know that."

"No, I don't." He said. He leaned closer to me. His torso was still bare, making my fingers twitch for some reason. I unconsciously leaned back, wanting the gap between us to widen, but he also leaned in, closing the gap even more. If I nodded now, our foreheads would touch. I could feel his breath on my lips. "Why are you running away from me? I know you feel the same way as I do. Stop lying to yourself."

Running away from him? I wanted to laugh. I was I was denying all these feelings because I wanted him to live. Whatever vision I was having about future, I wanted him to be on it, alive and smiling. I was so afraid to lose him, I chose to turn down my feelings.

Running away from him? No. I was running away from everything I felt to keep him alive.

He was slowly coming closer to me, making me lie on the bed, him on top of me. I looked at him. The want was there, crawling underneath my skin like a warm, painful current.

But I could not allow this to happen.

I flipped him to the bed in a swift motion, switching our positions. His eyes widened, before darkening in to a lush shade of darker green. I could feel his heart pounding hard under my fingers, where they lay on top of him.

"I'm not running away from you." I said, slowly drawing my hands away. His eyes were locked on my moments. I touched his face with my index finger. "If I let you be mine, if I let myself have you, you will die in the future." I was shaking now.

There were no tears. I was shaking from raw fear, desire and holding back. Savin stared right in to my eyes, searching them. He covered my hand with his own. My hand was very small compared to his. I let him touch me, savoring the moment.

"So," He said, his voice deep and hoarse, "If the future let me live, you would not hesitate to be mine."

It was not a question. It was a statement. He just claimed me as his.

I froze under his claim. Was that statement true? Probably. If nothing seperated us, I wouldn't have hesitated. Not at all.

Slowly, I nodded. I could not find any words. He seemed to have understood me just fine. He tugged at my arms, making me loose balance and fall onto his bare chest.

He smelled like soft, rich wine. It was intoxicating, pulling me in to another, dangerous reality I was afraid to look into. I laid on his chest, breathing him in, letting myself to get lost in him.

"Fine, then." He said. "I don't want to die either, if it means loosing you. I want to explore this whole world with you. I want to wake up in the morning next to you. If I can have that for the eternity, I'll wait till that damn vision is over."

I stayed still. "Hmm." I murmured, feeling my eyes droop. "That's good. Just for tonight, let's stay like this."

He rolled me over so I laid beside him, side by side, still snuggling to his chest. "But in that waiting time, I'll not stop coming after you, okay?" He asked, breathing into my hair.

I laughed sleepily. "Don't you dare stop doing that." I said as I drifted into sleep.

I felt him tugging me closer. I let out a breath. Just for a one night, it was okay to let go of fears.