Just Look Up At The Stars

    During her sophomore year of high school, Juniper had met the one who she was going to love for the rest of her life. She was sure of it. She knew by the look of his face that he was the one. The way he smiled was genuine and contagious. The way he looked at the people he loved was so deep and caring. His presence was warm and made people want to be around him just to feel his warmth. He made even the coldest of people feel warm and cared for.      Juniper was one of those cold people, not because she was malicious or hostile, but because she was secluded from everyone around her. She didn’t want to be around people because she didn’t feel like lying to them, saying that she was fine, when she wasn’t fine at all. She had no place to call home because she was scared that the place she called home would disappear. She was scared to lose what she had. She had already lost so much. She couldn’t bear to lose anything else. She was terrified. She didn’t want to get too close to anything or anyone, so she distanced herself. Yet, when she met Jake, Juniper only wanted to hug him and cry. She wanted to get close to him. She knew that he would listen or sit with her and let her cry. She knew that he would comfort her. She knew that he would give her the hope she needed. She knew all of this because the first words Jake said to her were “Hey, are you okay?” No one ever bothered to ask her that question, so she wasn’t expecting it. All she could think at that moment was No, but I can’t tell you that. So instead, she hesitantly nodded her head, wanting to tell him the truth, but afraid that she would hurt him. What surprised Juniper was that he didn’t believe it. He saw right through her lie and could see in her eyes that she was hurting. However, he didn’t want to ask her about whatever she was going through because it might have been too painful for her to talk about it. Instead of using his words to comfort Juniper, Jake hugged her. That one, simple hug meant so much to Juniper, and she knew that she would remember it until the day she died.      She would always find herself thinking about him, slowly gaining the courage to speak to Jake. It took a long time, but Juniper finally found the words to say to him. She wanted to thank him for giving her a hug and for being so kind to her. She wanted to let him know how thankful she was for that small act of kindness. She wanted to tell him how much it had meant to her, but words couldn’t come close to expressing those feelings. She did, however, look him in the eyes and thank him, knowing that he would understand how much it meant to her.      Soon after that, they started to hang out during school, then after school, then on weekends. Their entire sophomore year was filled with laughter and smiles, along with some tears and comforting, but Juniper and Jake became extremely close throughout that year. They shared important parts of their life and felt extremely safe with each other. Eventually, a mutual feeling grew between them. They both wanted to become more than friends, but they were afraid of ruining their already-perfect friendship. Although, the more time they spent together, the more they understood that their relationship could never become less than what it was. Knowing that, they decided to take their relationship a step further and began dating. They fell madly in love with each other through their junior year of highschool and couldn’t imagine life without each other.      During that year, they both went through some hardships. Jake had found out that his younger sister was diagnosed with cancer and was not looking too great. Juniper had done everything she could to comfort Jake and be there for him and his family, but she was struggling as well. She had lost many loved ones during that year and was terrified that she would lose more. There was too much fear inside them, but they found comfort in each other. They talked and tried their best to help each other. They tried to be each other's support.      Most nights, they would go to an empty field and lay in the grass. They would look at the stars and become absorbed in its beautifulness. They would find peace in the sparkling lights of the sky. Sometimes, they would talk about their feelings. And other times, they would lay there in silence and just enjoy each other’s company, letting their mind wander. That spot in the open field became their spot. It was so perfect. It had a single tree that they would sit under sometimes or simply admire its willingness to live. The grass was always green and fresh. There were no houses or lights in sight. It was empty, but so beautiful. It was their home. ****Senior Year****     Juniper had woken up with an empty feeling in her that she couldn’t quite describe. It was in the middle of spring and graduation was coming soon, so she figured that it was just nerves. She brushed it off and began to get ready for the weekend, even though she wanted to stay in bed all day. However, she knew that she had to write her valedictorian speech that day, as she only had a few weeks to write it, and she was already nervous enough as is. Jake was out of town with his parents, so he couldn’t help her, but he needed to get away. His sister ended up passing away due to cancer, and Jake was obviously struggling more than ever. He felt guilty and that he could have prevented it somehow. He needed to step away from reality for a moment, but he was supposed to be back home that day. He had been gone for about a month and told Juniper that he would be back sometime that night.      Juniper was excited to have the house all to herself though. Her parents had left for work before she woke up, and she was the only child, so she was all by herself that Saturday. She rushed to the velvet couch in her grey sweatpants and turned on the television. She was eager to get as much time in by herself as possible, but she was also wanting Jake to come home early. She missed him and wanted to see him again to make sure he was doing okay, considering the circumstances. However, she didn’t want to get her hopes up, so she watched her favorite movie, Avatar, to pass the time before she started writing her speech.      About half way through the movie, Juniper heard a knock at her door. Thinking Jake came home early and was surprising her, she jumped up to answer the door, with a wide smile covering her face. She unlocked it, ready to wrap Jake in a comforting hug, but who she saw at the door was not Jake at all. It was a devastating piece of news, only she didn't know what that news was. Either way, her smile faded into a worried and confused look in her eyes.     As she opened the door, she was greeted by Jake’s parents, Ann and Lucas, with tears streaming down their faces. Juniper froze at the doorway, thoughts running wild through her head. She was terrified of all of the possibilities of why Jake wasn’t with his parents and why they were crying, but she gained control over herself and let them in.      “Is everything okay?” Juniper worriedly asked, as she shut the door behind them. She was terrified of the answer that was coming.     After a moment’s pause of deep breaths between Jake’s parents, Lucas finally said something. “Here, um…. Let’s sit down.” That sentence made Juniper so dizzy that she almost fell. She caught herself and wobbled to the couch, trying to keep her brave face on, but her eyes were already watering.      Once everyone took a seat next to each other on the red sofa, still facing each other, they took a few deep breaths before Lucas started to explain what had happened. “When Jake’s sister passed away, he, uh, became very distant and depressed.” Everyone was tearing up at this point, but Lucas talked slowly to give everyone time to process the information that was being given. Ann had gently put her hand on Juniper’s shoulder with tears constantly streaming down her face, but Juniper didn’t even notice it. All she noticed was the use of past tense. All she felt was fear. “Jake stopped eating...... He spent all of his time sitting in his room. He would.... stare at the ceiling for long periods of time. He couldn’t deal with the pain he was feeling. He told us how much he, um, missed his sister. He said he felt...... at fault, so we took him to grief counseling, but...... it didn’t seem to be helping him. He was stuck in this hole of...... depression and guilt. We tried so hard to help him, but…..” Lucas had started to let the tears fall down his face, while speaking in an extremely shaky and devastating voice. However, Juniper had started to stare into space, zoning out. She couldn’t hear anything except her own heart beating faster than she could have ever imagined. She already knew what had happened, but she didn’t want to believe it. She was in so much shock that tears weren't falling down her face. They only gathered in the bottom of her eyelid.      By the time Juniper joined back into reality, Lucas was already finished talking. Ann was sobbing, but trying so hard to keep it together. Lucas’s eyes were extremely red from crying, and his face was soaked with tears. Juniper looked at both of them, still absorbing what she had been told, but she finally let the tears fall down her face.