Phoenix Falling

Chapter 7

    Connor Text me that afternoon, a demand for a date for a party as per usual. 

    Liv we are going out. Be there at 7. Be ready. 

Dammit, I didn't want to party again. But I knew it wasn't worth it to argue. I would go, I would drive him home. Then I decided I wouldn't wait until getting my stuff from LA. I would tell him tomorrow about the baby. I was waiting when he showed up. He was already drinking. I could taste it on his mouth when he kissed me. 

"Hey beautiful," He slurred as he pulled my face to his. His breath tasted like cigarettes. 

"Have you been smoking?" I asked him. 

"What's it to you?" He glared. I shook my head. Better not to fight. 

"Can I drive? I love this car." I said, trying to be smart about getting him out of the drivers seat. He was going to protest. I could see it. But I knew how to get what I wanted from him. 

"It makes me horny." I said. Smiling sexily. He nodded jumping out so I could take the seat. 

"Well aren't you in a better mood." He said as he sat in the passenger side. I pulled out of the drive. Heading in the direction he pointed. Taking us where he wanted to go. I sat soberly at this party. Connor wasn't hiding the drugs this time. I guess because I saw him with the cocaine before. He took a hit out of a bong that was passed around. Before he would have said no. Then when a bump of cocaine was passed to him he took it happily. I was appalled. When had he started this? How had I not noticed. To my horror when he was done with the cocaine he cut another line up and passed it towards me. I shook my head.

"No." I said, I wasn't going to cave on this one. He pushed it towards me again. 

"Don't be a square. Time to try it Liv." He said. I shook my head again. 

"No Connor." I wasn't kidding around. This was not my scene. He shook his head at me. 

"You know you've been a real buzz kill lately." He said, handing it to the next person in line. A few hours later I watched in horror as he popped a pill handed to him. I wanted to leave him sitting right where he was. But I couldn't, I may not love him. But I cared for him, I couldn't leave him. At 3 am, he was so out of his head that I managed to talk him into going home. He didn't even ask me for s*x. Thank god, he was way too out of it. I took him to his house and tried to sneak him into his room unnoticed. As we were passing her room Peyton opened the door. I looked at her in horror. Unsure of how to explain what was going on. She looked at him her eyes narrow with anger. 

"I knew he was using again." She said, grabbing his one arm and helping me get him into bed. 

"Again?" I asked. Unsure of what she meant. She nodded. 

"He did a stint in rehab before you came here. Cocaine, meth, speed and heroin." She said. Oh my god. Heroin? really. 

"I only saw cocaine once before. Tonight he did weed, Coke and some pill." I said. freaking out. Hoping she didn't blame me. 

"Yea, guaranteed he's been doing it all when you weren't around. Liv you need to get out of this relationship." She said. I nodded she was right. 

"Peyton he stole letters from Liam." I said, she shook her head. 

"Let's find them then." She began digging through his stuff. I joined her, tired of his s**t. I was rifling through his closet, trying to reach the things in the top when I knocked a shoebox off of the top shelf.  

“s**t”. I said to myself. It clattered to the floor, envelopes scattering across the room. 

"You good?" Peyton asked. 

“Yea no worries, I just dropped a box.”  I said back.  As I picked up the last envelope I noticed a stamp in the corner and realized it was a letter.  The stamp was from Iraq.   I stopped to read the name on the front.  

Olivia Dawson 

5000 34th St, 

Phoenix, AZ 

85018

Yes! this was it. 

March 26, 2017

Dear Olivia

I really wish that I could get ahold of you in some way or another.  Like I have said in my last dozen or so letters.  Your dad told me you’re seeing someone.  I can accept you falling in love with someone else.  I just don’t know if I can ever accept you not being in my life in some way or another.  I can understand you needing some space and that is more than acceptable.  I would just really love to hear from you.  It’s so lonely here in this dessert.  I really needed to tell someone about an experience I had yesterday and I hope you will understand.  I was out on a mission in town.  I wish I could tell you which town.  But I was on a roof watching over the soldiers on the ground and I saw something that looked a little odd.  Lately, the terrorists have been using children as their pack mules for bombs and sure enough I saw these two young kids exchanging what appeared to be a grenade. I watched him through my scope and almost pulled that trigger.  Olivia I almost killed a child.  Thank god I didn’t He had a canteen.  He was dying of thirst.  One of the troops filled his canteen and gave him another.  It was enough to make me sit here recalling it and weep.  I have never cried over anything in war.  But today I sit here unable to contain my fear.  You were right olivia.  I need to be done with this.  I should never have re-upped.  I should be home.  No matter if I am just your friend.  I can’t do this much longer.  I hope that you don’t mind me writing you about this.  I really couldn’t tell my brigade that I sat in my barracks and sobbed.  I hope all is well with you.  I will continue to wait for a call from you.  

Until We Meet Again

  Liam

I flipped through the box. Each letter in the box was addressed to me. 

"Mother fucker." I said under my breath. 

"You found them." Peyton said from directly behind me. I jumped. She had been reading over my shoulder. 

"Take me home?" I asked her. She nodded and drove me the short distance. I went upstairs but I didn't go to bed. I read every letter top to bottom over and over until morning had come. I was exhausted. But most of all I was pissed right off. He had wrote me a letter every week he was gone. Professing his love to me. I understood why Connor had taken them. I would never have stayed with him had I known. My stupid mind had told me that Liam was over me. Connor had kept pushing that into me. When the sun came up I texted Connor.  I wanted out.   

Hey, I need to talk to you.  Come over quick? I’m home alone,

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting on the deck when he pulled into the yard.  I found myself dry in the mouth waiting for him to walk from his car to the front deck.  

“Hey Liv, shall we go inside for a quickie?” He asked I couldn’t tell if he was joking or serious but that didn’t matter right now.  I motioned for him to sit by me on the deck.  I wanted to do this outside. Hopefully I would be safer. Struggling for the words to tell him. I had to tell him, he was the father.  He needed to know first so that I could go to mom and dad about this.  

“Connor, I have to tell you something pretty important.” I said quietly.  He glared in the direction of Liam’s house.  

“No nothing like that.” I said, trying to silence his fears but terrified in my own rights of what he was going to say. 

“Umm…” I started but I was still struggling for the words.  

“Connor.” I stopped and looked at the floor.  Breathing deeply.  Just start with how you’ve been sick.  I thought to myself.  I looked at him.  He was only half paying attention to me right now.  I felt angry that he wasn’t paying any attention to me.  I touched his arm.  

“Ok you know how I’ve been sick the last few days?” I pleaded looking into his eyes.  He nodded yes but didn’t say anything.

“Well my period was late, so I took a pregnancy test.” I didn’t say the actual words.  I simply set the positive test on the table, lord knows why I had saved it.  He looked at it, not saying anything.  I couldn’t tell what his face was saying.  He continued to stare at it, as if he couldn’t quite comprehend.  Finally without looking at me he said,

“Two lines means you are pregnant?” He asked almost pleading with me for it to not be true.  I nodded and answered,

“Yes.” From the corner of my eye I noticed Liam’s garage open.  Oh f**k not right now! I thought to myself.  Connor wasn’t saying a word.  He was staring at the stick like it was going to reach out and bite him.  The colour had drained from his face.  He furrowed his brows as if he wasn’t comprehending exactly what I was saying. 

“How?”

I stared at him, unsure of exactly how he couldn’t figure out how.  He finally looked at me.  His eyes were hard and dark and when he finally spoke it came out in an angry snarl. 

“You are telling me that you weren’t taking your birth control?”  f**k, of course he was going to point fingers.  I stared at him unsure of what to say.  I simply sat there gazing at him.  I knew he wouldn’t like the idea.  Now I wondered how loud this was going to get.  

“f**k Olivia!” He yelled standing and throwing his chair over backwards.  I jumped at the sound of it clattering to the deck.  He swung his arm up and I expected him to hit me so I flinched.  But instead he put his hand through the glass table.  The glass shattered all over my legs and feet.  I swept it off of me with a graceful calm movement.  

“How stupid are you?” He questioned me, I wanted to yell back but the words to scream at him just wouldn’t come to me.  

“I’m sorry,” I whispered through tears.  I could feel the water works coming and I tried to fight them off.  He glared down at me throwing another chair out of his way as he moved closer to me.  He put one hand on each arm of the chair I was sitting in. 

“Sorry is not going to cut it!” He screamed at me, I tried to change his mind.  

“I know the timing isn’t good Connor.” I started but he cut me off screaming curses at me.  Then he suddenly stood up and calmed.  

“Let me guess, you did this on purpose didn’t you?” I gasped unable to believe that he had just said that to me.  Why would he ever think that of me? He knew that this was going to change my life as much as it was going to change his.  

“Connor you know that isn’t true!” I shouted at him.  I was aware that even though Liam was trying to remain oblivious to what we were doing he was listening to every word we were saying.  

“We had plans Olivia!” Connor screamed at me.  We did? Why wasn’t I involved in making any of these damn plans? 

“Please stop yelling.” I begged Connor the tears flowing freely down my face as I looked towards Liam’s place trying to give him a hint.  I couldn’t hold it back anymore I started to sob.  He looked over his shoulder and saw Liam.  His hand wrapped around my wrist he drug me into the garage.  Oh no, oh no, please don’t hit me.  He slammed the door and threw me against the wall.  My lungs releasing all the air in them.  I winced and tried to get away from him but he wound back and slapped me.  I cried out, 

“Owe please Connor, don’t.” I begged, He put his arms on the wall beside me leaned in very close to me and said. 

"Owe? really? you've ruined my life bitch." He said, he shoved me again. Then smacking me around a little more. I slid down the wall protecting myself. 

“How do I even know it’s mine? Your such a w***e it could be anyone’s,” he spat at me, then he turned and started to walk away I stood up and followed him.  He strode so very fast rushing out the garage door.  My ribs were hurting and I found it hard to breathe but I went as quickly as I could. 

“Connor, Connor.” I yelled trying to get him to stop. We needed to discuss this.  He continued to walk away from me. He stopped at his car door and turned to me. His face maroon with rage.  

“Olivia, I suggest that you back the f**k away from me.  I am having nothing to do with this.  Why don’t you run across the road to your lovers house and beg him to help you because as far as I am concerned you are on your own.  Those water works are not going to work on me.  f**k this you’re a dirty w***e, we are done.” With that he jumped into his car and drove away leaving me there.  Pregnant, alone and crying.  I slinked to the ground and began to sob.  Realizing that my feet, legs and hands were cut from the glass.  His reaction was beyond anything that I had ever thought would happened.  I knew that he wasn’t going to be happy.  Hell I was far less than thrilled but this was ridiculous.  I did not deserve to be talked to that way.  I hadn’t been there very long when strong firm and familiar arms were wrapped around me packing me away from the scene of the crime.  

Liam sat me down on his couch and disappeared into the bathroom bringing back a first aid kit.  I sat in silence while he carefully picked the glass from my skin. Cleaning it with peroxide and putting bandaids on the bigger cuts.  He started with my feet and then my hands and when he was done that he started on my thighs below my jean shorts.   He let me sit quietly while he worked.   

“Hey. Shhhh…. It’s ok.”  He whispered into my hair when I started to sob again.  I nodded. But I wanted something from him.  I swallowed hard and spit it out. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked.  He smiled brightly as if he couldn’t think of anything that would be better. 

“Of course you can Olivia.” I nodded then texted Tim. 

I had a big fight with Connor.  Don’t clean up the mess on the deck I’m going to make him.  I’m staying at Liam’s don’t tell anyone I don’t want Connor to know where I am. Love you daddy 

Then I sent a quick text to Connor. 

Don’t worry Connor, you are off the hook.  You can clean up the mess you made on my deck and I don’t want anything else from you.  

I smiled at Liam.  Chuck thumped his way down the stairs a few minutes later.  I was curled into my spot on Liam’s side. 

“Hey Liam! That’s my chick.”  He said as he thumped down on the chair on the otherside of the room.  I smiled at him. 

“Hey Chuck,.”  I said smiling at him.  He flipped through the TV channels. 

“Sorry guys no cheesy crap when I am here.”  he said.  I laughed, Liam tossed a blanket over me and he and chuck bantered back and forth.  I ignored them and stared at the TV thinking about the situation I had put myself into.  We sat there the entire day, Liam bringing me food periodically. When I got sleepy I started to doze into his chest.  He nudged me awake.

“Bedtime then I suppose.” I nodded and he took my hand leading me upstairs.  He tossed me a tshirt.  I threw it on while he went into the washroom and when he came out I took my turn in there. Giving myself a peptalk in the mirror.  

“Olivia, you will not have s*x with him. You will wait.  You belong with him you have the rest of your life to make love with him.” I stole his toothbrush to brush my teeth with.  Then I went pee.  When I sat down the bruises on my rear screamed in petition.  I stood up and walked into the bedroom.  He had made himself a bed on the floor.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He said, gesturing to the bed telling me it was mine.  

“Liam… Sleep with me, just sleep?” I asked him, more like pleading.  He smiled and climbed up in with me.  We laid side by side in the bed.  

“I’ve missed this.” I said smiling up at the roof.  He laughed.

“Awkward silences?” He asked me.  I laughed too. 

“No, being near you.” I answered.  I meant it too.  I sighed into the night.  

“I don’t know what to do.” I said, answering his silent look in my direction.  He reached down and took my hand.  Bringing it to his mouth and kissing it.  Then he rolled and propped his head onto his hand.  

“Whatever you decide Olivia.  I will support you in that decision no matter what you need.” I smiled at him.  I knew in my soul that he meant it.  I rolled to face him.  

He didn’t say anything he just moved closer to me.  Wrapping his arms around me he kissed my forehead and cuddled me.  I went to adjust my position and winced a little at the pain from the bruises on my buttocks.  I noticed Liam eyeing me through my half closed eyes.  I fluttered my lashes open.

“What?” I asked, wondering why he was staring at me.  He sighed. 

“Olivia, what’s wrong?” He asked it like he already knew.  I shook my head and tried to brush him off.  But I knew that he was going to persist.  I knew that if he saw the bruises it would end badly for Connor.  Liam had absolutely no patience for anyone at all getting rough with a woman.  

“Nothing Liam, it’s ok go to sleep please.” I begged the last word, he regarded me for a minute.  I thought that he might do exactly what I asked but then I noticed his eye’s scanning my face.  He rolled over,  I was hoping to sleep but instead he flicked on the light. Then flipping back over to me he gazed at me.  He knew that I was going to cave eventually.  I sighed loudly terrified of what he was going to do.  I began lifting my shirt.  He raised an eyebrow questioningly but looked down at my belly.  The darkness of fading old yellow bruises across my hips were visible just above my pantyline.  I didn’t have to tell him that there were even more underneath.  His face slowly went red from the top to the bottom.  It honestly terrified me, never had I seen Liam angry other than the night I was attacked and I wasn’t about to forget the way that man’s face had looked when Liam was done with it.  

“Are there more?” He questioned me, slowly very slowly I nodded.  Then I stood up on my side of the bed, raising my shirt up over my back.  The black and blue bruises that had started to form from being slammed against the wall were visible along my lower back and the top of my buttocks.  I started to sob then.  Realizing with my embarrasment that I truly had been abused. Refused to admit it or do anything about it.  But Connor had used physical force to keep me subdued.  As I let the tears flow down my face Liam wrapped an arm around me and pulled me back into his arms.  

“Shhh…. Love, it’s ok.” He whispered into my hair. 

"What else did he do to you?" He asked me. I shook my head. 

"Olivia, please tell me baby?" He pleaded. I nodded. 

"He slapped me a few times before." I stopped thinking. 

"He started using drugs. He would get high and go off the wall." I wasn't sure if I should tell him how many times I had s*x without wanting too. But it's like he knew. 

"And?" He questioned. I stared at the roof. 

"When he was in particular moods he would get really aggressive and want things from me." I said, not wanting to get into details. 

"s*x?" He asked. Me. I just nodded. I didn't want to discuss this. He was quiet for a minute. 

“Olivia, I need you to stop seeing him please.  I am not going to sit by and let this happen ever again and I am going to give him two bruises for everyone I just saw on you.” He said a little louder, I tried to protest but he pushed his fingers to my lips silencing me.  Then he kissed my forehead and held me tight until I fell asleep.