Phoenix Falling

Chapter 4

    I wandered downstairs Saturday morning at ten with the worst hangover I had ever had in my life.  I hoped to avoid Tim, I didn’t want him to know that I was hungover. I quickly chugged down a glass of orange juice and some Advil.  Looking at the clock I had a half hour to get to the hospital and pick up Chuck.  I jumped in the car and headed off there, speeding along at much faster speeds than I cared to admit.  At 10:57am I walked into his room.  He was waiting for me. 

“You’re here!” He said as though he thought I wasn’t going to make it.  But as soon as he had seen me he broke out in a huge smile. He struggled to his feet, grabbing his crutches. It would be a long time before he could walk far. He needed many many physio sessions. 

“You need a wheelchair?”  I asked him worried about how long of a walk it was to the parking lot.  

“Hell no baby let’s go.” He smiled and headed out of the room.  I followed him as he hopped down the hallway.  He had really gotten those crutches working. He moved relatively quickly for a man newly equipped with a prosthetic leg.  I tried to help him into my car but he helped himself.  I fired up my little BMW and blew that popsicle stick.  Pulling into Liam’s driveway felt weird.  I hadn’t done it in so long.  I knocked but he didn’t answer so I let us in with my key.  

“You still have a key?” He asked me smirking. I nodded. 

“Guess I should get him his things and bring them over.” I answered. I just hadn’t thought of it. 

“You ever find what he told you to look for in his last letter?” He asked me smirking. I stared at him dumbfounded. What? Last letter? 

“I didn’t get a last letter.” I said, wondering what he was talking about. He said nothing just used his crutches to get himself into the living room. The house hadn’t changed.   I packed Chuck’s bags in through the door and even though he was hollering at me not too I headed upstairs to pick him a spare room.  The one farthest from Liam’s was my choice because it was the only other one with an ensuite.  I was about to head back down the stairs when I noticed Liam’s door was partly open.  I knew that I shouldn’t.  I knew I had no right.  But I slid the door open and peeked inside.  It hadn’t changed either.  It was as if time had stood still.  I scanned the room for anything new.  On his bedside table there was a photo frame.  In it was the picture of us that Nora had taken of us on our hike.  I smiled at it. Hoping it was a sign that he still loved me. Why would I hope that? What about Connor? I questioned myself. I knew it was wrong to touch his things but I picked up his pillow on the side of the bed where he slept, brought it to my face and smelled. Omg. His scent, musky, manly. It was perfect. I placed the pillow back down on the bed and backed out of the room, heading down the stairs.  Chuck had made himself at home on the couch.  

"You go in his room?" He asked me, What the f**k. How did this guy know every move I made. 

"No." I lied. He stared at me, he knew the answer. I changed the subject. 

“You hungry?” I asked him.  He nodded at me as he flipped through the tv channels.  I picked up my cell and ordered us pizza then I crashed on the couch beside him.  

“Liv?” He said questioningly.  

“hmm?”  I answered him quietly.  Don't ask me if I went in his room again I prayed. I'm the worst liar ever. 

“Why did you write Liam that letter?”  He asked me quietly.  f**k.  

“Ummm….”. I started but I went silent as I thought about my answer.  What had I been feeling when I sat down and wrote that letter.  

“Well, I was feeling alone and scared.  I wasn’t prepared for what happened.  Everyday I felt tortured.  I wasn’t sleeping, I wasn’t eating, I turned on the TV that morning of the attack in Syria. I panicked. Then he called me and told me that he wasn’t coming home for a bit.  I just couldn’t do it.  I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t wrote that letter but every single day I wish that I hadn’t.” I admitted to him.  Tears threatened to fall. I thought I was emotionless? 

“He wishes you hadn’t too.”  He said quietly.  I wiped the tears from my eyes and nodded.  I hoped he was right.  About an hour later I was downing a beer and chewing on pizza sitting cross legged on the living room floor when Liam came through the front door.  

“Hey guys.”  He said brightly.  I felt the smile waver on my face. I felt broken. 

“How’s the hangover?”  He asked me looking intently at the beer in my hand.  How did he know I had a hangover? Was he judging me? I never felt like Liam had ever judged me. 

“Fine.”  I said quietly.  

“Pizza’s in the kitchen.”   I said, changing the subject.  I needed to leave.  I stood up as he was coming back in the room.  

“You’re leaving?”  He asked me as he sat down on the couch opposite of Chuck.  I nodded, 

“Yea, I need to get some housework done.”  I said, trying to justify the fact that I felt the need to escape from this tight space.  I couldn’t be here with him anymore.  Not this way. 

“You sure?” Chuck said, looking at Liam and making kissy faces at me. I flipped him the bird. Liam looked back and forth between us. Confused. 

“Bye,” I called. Backing out the door.  As my eyes adjusted to the bright sun outside I noticed Connor’s car across the street.  He was sitting in the front seat staring at me as I walked across the pavement between us.  s**t he looked mad.  

“Hi.”  I said brightly, trying to change his mood.  

“Get in.”  He barked.  I did as I was told.  I didn’t feel like fighting with him right now.  He didn’t say anything as I did up my seatbelt and he accelerated around the cul de sac and out onto the street. 

“How was your day?”  I asked him fake happiness resounding in my voice.  He didn’t speak.  f**k. f**k. f**k.  He’s really mad.  I resided to staring out my window.  It wasn’t worth the argument that would ensue if I made him talk to me.  He drove to a deserted parking lot and in the back corner in the fading sun he slapped me.  

“Connor!” I squealed, pulling back from him.  

“What the f**k was that for?”  I asked him tears spilling down my face.  I held my hand to my cheek where it stung.  This time there was no way that I deserved this.  

“Don’t you swear at me you f*****g w***e!” He spat at me.  He raised his hand as though he was going to strike me again and I reeled back.  

“Oh, you don’t want me to hit you but you can go cuddle with your ex?” He screamed at me.  What? What the f**k?

“Connor, I took an injured soldier there today.  He’s living with Liam.  I wasn’t doing anything with Liam, Liam just got there when I left.”  I cried my face still burning.  I was scared he was going to hit me again.  I needed to defuse this situation and quickly.  Since when was I the girlfriend that got hit? 

“Connor, I’m really sorry.  Now that Chuck is out of the hospital I don’t need to be anywhere near him.  I’ll stay away.”  I cried, I silently prayed he would believe me.  

“Goddammit Olivia!, who the f**k is Chuck? another lay?” He yelled.  I was sitting as far from him as I could get.  There was no moving away from him.  I wanted out of this car now.  

“Connor, quit yelling at me.”  I begged him.  I needed him to calm down or I would get out and walk. But would he let me?  His knuckles were white on the steering wheel.  

“Want to go for dinner?”  He asked me quietly. Quietly, but yet his voice scared me. At least the yelling seemed to be gone.  I nodded.  I actually wanted to be away from him.  But I didn’t want to piss him off more.  I was scared what he would do if I refused. I went for dinner with him and faked my way through a cheerful dinner, then I faked my way through a romp in the car before he took me home and I kissed him goodnight.  I waved happily as he drove away.  Then I turned and headed into the house. Tim was sitting at the island with his work scattered across it. 

“Hey dad.”  I called through the living room as I grabbed my bag and headed towards him.  I set my bag on the island. 

“Do you want some iced tea?”  I asked him sweetly.  He smiled,

“Sure honey that would be great.”  I walked to the fridge and poured us each a glass.  Handing him mine he caught me by the wrist and pulled me into a hug.  Then he held me at arm’s length. 

           “Olivia! Did you trip?” He asked, brushing his thumb over the shadow of a bruise on my jawbone.  s**t, I should have covered that.  

           “Yea, dad you know me!” I giggled brushing it off.  Woah he left a bruise on me?  Not cool Connor.  I couldn’t be getting hit every time we had a disagreement or he felt threatened.  Tim and I worked through our paperwork silently together.  About halfway through I got up to use the washroom and when I came back Tim said,

“Are you sick?”  I shook my head nope and smiled continuing my work.  Then he whispered quietly.

“Hunny, maybe you need to see a doctor? You might have a bladder infection.” I nodded. Hmm I never thought of that.  I have been going to the washroom a lot today.  I decided if I was still feeling off in the morning I would go in.  Just as I was finishing my homework I started feeling sick to my stomach.  I ran for the powder room.  Throwing my supper up into the toilet.  I lowered myself to the floor wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.  s**t that sucks.  Hopefully I don’t have the stomach flu.  I thought to myself.  A few minutes later Tim tapped on the door.

“You ok in there?” He asked me.  

“No.  I think I’ve got the stomach flu.”  I said from the floor.  

“Do you need water?” He asked. 

“Please.”  I croaked out.  A few minutes later he slid the door open, handing me a glass of water and a little cup of pepto bismol.  I took the pepto and then rinsed my mouth.  He helped me off the floor and I headed upstairs. My room was so welcoming.  I walked over to open the patio doors and let some of the night air in.  As I cracked it open my eyes met with Liam’s.  He was walking out to his truck.  A little late to be going somewhere I thought to myself.  He raised his hand and waved at me.  Instinctively I waved back at him. God this was eerily like the first night I saw him. My stomach began writhing again I ran back into the bathroom and puked up the bile in my stomach.  I must have the flu.  Dad came up about an hour later to see what I was doing.  I was curled up in my bed.  My body aching, my stomach twisting.  

“Dad I’m really sick!” I said, when he asked if I wanted a snack.

“No worries baby, get some rest.” He kissed my forehead and flicked the light off on his way out.   

I slept fine overnight and in the morning I felt well rested.  The aches gone.  But my stomach still uneasy.  I could smell breakfast from the bathroom when I finished brushing my teeth.  Oh I am starving.  Tim was standing with his back to me wiggling his hips to some sort of music in his head.  I put my fist in my mouth fighting laughter.  He kicked his leg to the side and spun fast in a circle.  Not seeing me.  Then with a spatula in one hand he started waving his hands high above his head. 

“Hey!” he yelled as he jumped in a circle in the air.  Turning to face me.  His face contoured with shock as he said.

“Olivia! I didn’t expect you to be up yet!” I burst out into a fit of laughter.  Tears flowing into my eyes.  He looked so embarrassed his face beat red.  

“Don’t laugh at me, I was just dancing!” He said, hurt resounding in his voice.  Still laughing I walked over and wrapped my arms around him.  

“I love you daddy.” I whispered.  He kissed my hair. 

“Baby girl, I love you too.” He whispered.  Something had been bugging me and I wanted to ask him a serious question.  

“Dad can I ask you something without you judging me or assuming anything?” I asked quietly. 

“Of course Olivia!” He answered. “Baby you can ask me anything I will never judge you.  I love you no matter what you do.” He finished.  I nodded.  Knowing that it was true.  I swallowed hard trying to work my way into it properly. 

“Dad how long will Liam be here?” I asked him, terrified that he would be leaving soon.  But more terrified that he wouldn’t be and wondering if I could ruin the life I had right now to try and get my old life back. Tim smiled at me, 

“He took a desk job Olivia, starts this week and he’s not leaving on tour again.” He kissed me on the forehead.  Picked three pancakes off the griddle and handed them to me on a plate.  I smiled and sat at the island smothering the stacks in butter and syrup and wolfing it down.  That feels so much better than yesterday.  After eating I felt really good so I pulled out my phone and texted the girls. 

Hey do you guys feel like going to Bitmore mall?  I want to get out of the house.  

A few minutes later I had gotten a yes out of both of them.  I tossed on some shorts and a tank.  Then jumped in my car. Pulling out of the drive I caught myself staring into Liam’s yard.  His truck wasn’t there.  But that didn’t mean that it wasn’t in the garage.  I wondered about his bike.  The memories that we had on the bike were great.  There were so many things that he had done to make our time together special.  I had ruined my life with him in one damaging move. I wiped a tear from my eye.  You made your bed Olivia, now you get to lie in the dirty sheets of a w***e.  A little harsh I guess. Technically I had waited months after breaking up with him. I shook it off and put my car into drive heading on my way.  The parking lot was rather empty for a saturday.  I shot a text to Peyton. 

I am at the mall.  Where are you? Where are we meeting? I’m on the North side.

Ding.  A text. 

Hey girl we are going to pottery barn. Wait by Macy’s. 

Perfect it was right next to Macy’s.  I really loved the pottery barn.  I kind of wanted to buy some decor for my bedroom.  I had never really put my touch on it.  I hadn’t told Connor yet, but I had applied to the University of Phoenix. I didn’t want to go back to California with him. It was a revelation that had came to me this morning as I had inspected the bruise he left on my face.  If I got in, I didn't think I would be going with him. Might As Well make the room mine again. I looked around for the girls.  I didn’t spot them.  I sat down on a bench in front of the store and peered at the crowd of people around me.  Across the way a mother was scolding her son for throwing a pair of sunglasses out of her purse.  They clattered across the brick floor.  I laughed to myself.  Oh the minds of children.  Directly in front of Macy’s on the bench facing mine sat an elderly couple.  They had striking grey hair and beautiful smiling faces.  I smiled when he pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed it.  She stretched the opposite hand out to cup his chin and then pecked him on the mouth.  Deep inside my stomach I felt an ache.  I wanted to be that way.  Connor didn’t like PDA.  I wasn’t really up for making out on a park bench.  But there was nothing wrong with something sweet like that.  I scanned the crowd again for the girls.  Anna? My mind raced as I saw her.  She made me nervous.  Something about the look on her face looked evil.  Maybe even vindictive. She strode quickly, cat like walking across the opening in front of me.  She wasn’t looking at me, she was looking at the back of a man.  When she reached him she wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed.  He turned… Liam. I felt my mouth drop open.  No! No! No! Anyone but her god please not Anna! Tears threatened behind my eyes as I watched her grab his hand and lead him away from me.  Bile boiled up the back of my throat.  Then suddenly I heaved, throwing my hand over my mouth I stood and ran for the washroom. Right past Norra and Peyton.  

“Oliv….” I heard Norra start.  I made it in just on time then I threw up all of my breakfast again.  What in the hell is wrong with me? I was on the floor in the bathroom crying when the girls walked in.  

“Olivia oh god are you ok?” Peyton asked, rapping on the door. Oh I need to clean up my act right now.

“Yes!” I said although I was certain I sounded like I had been crying.  

“I wasn’t feeling good last night. I thought I was better. I must have ate something bad." I said from inside the stall. 

I stood up, wiped my eyes and my mouth.  Then I opened the door to see my two best friends in the world looking at me.  Worried and startled but standing there.  

“Girls!” I said pulling them into a hug, I squeezed them so tightly.  I needed to hold them so badly.  Openly wiping my tears like they were nothing to be ashamed of.  But something in the way that they looked at me said they didn’t believe me at all.  I just brushed it off.  We walked and talked and chatted for the next few hours.  I found myself laughing and although not for one minute did I forget how my mind was racing around Liam and Anna I was happy for a little while. When we got home with all my new decor I decided as I looked out my French doors at his pick up that I wanted to talk to him.  We could at least be friends.  I could just say hi.  Even though I promised I wouldn’t.  I technically needed to give him back my keys.  I looked at Peyton and Norra who were discussing where to put all my new decor.  Then I typed out a quick and friendly text.    

Hi Liam.  It’s Liv

I waited.  Staring at my phone for a second. 

Your message could not be delivered.  The number you have tried to contact is not in service.  

Shit.  OK, I could go to his house and give them to him.  Or I could just sneak over there and drop them in the mailbox.  Or I could wait and see If he came to get them.  Olivia, stop thinking about him.  You hurt him. If you aren’t happy with Connor you need to end that.  But you cannot run back to the man that you burned.  He deserves better than you and what you did to him. 

“Olivia….” I looked at Peyton who was speaking to me.  

“Jesus, where are you right now?” She asked me snapping her fingers as I brought myself down from space.  

“I’m an emotional mess.”  I confessed.  I needed to discuss this with someone.  They were both looking at me.  Expecting me to continue.  

“Liam and Anna were at the mall together.”  I whispered quietly.  Peyton eyed me like she knew exactly what was going on.

“But you’re with Connor.”  Norra said in response.  Yes this was true.  I really had no right to think about who Liam was with.  What was I thinking.  I was the one who had put him back on the market.  Anna is beautiful there’s no doubting that and if he’s into her and he’s happy then good for him.  Oh who the hell am I kidding? I hate it.  

“She’s with Connor but she still love Liam Norra.  Isn’t it obvious.” Peyton said.  I looked down at my feet embarrassed.  I didn’t actually want to talk about this I decided.  I changed the subject. 

"You girls want to do a sleep over?" I asked, this would be the perfect way to avoid going out with Connor tonight. They both agreed. So I sent him a text, hoping it would keep him off my case. 

Norra and Peyton want to have a sleep over, I'll see you tomorrow k?

He never replied. But he never asked me to go out either. I had a great evening catching up with them. Peyton and Norra had both opted to go to school in Phoenix. Staying behind and staying together. I had missed them. When we woke in the morning Peyton had gone to open the french doors. 

"Oh my god. Anna is at Liams" She screeched. I jumped up and watched in horror as she placed for sale signs in his yard. 

"He's moving!" I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth. Oh my god. What had I done. We pondered it shortly and then I decided I needed to get out of here. 

“Guy’s do you mind if I go for a run. I need to clear my head.” I asked 

“Hell no, can I borrow a swimsuit I want to hit the pool.” Peyton said quickly.  I nodded and put on a pair of shorts and a sports bra.  I had gained a little weight the last year. I had been drinking a lot. You could see the extra pudge on my middle. The two of them threw on my two bathing suits and headed for the pool.  I put my headphones into my phone.  Turned on some loud blaring music and headed out to run. Me running.  That was a novelty.  But run I did.  I ran, I ran until my lungs hurt, I ran until my leg’s hurt, I ran until my heart hurt.  When I felt that I couldn’t run anymore I kept running.  Hours later when my body was so tired I couldn’t feel disgust at myself I stopped in front of home.  Bent over, rested my hands on my legs and tried to catch my breath.  I stood and took the earphones out of my ears.  Leaning my head back I continued to gasp for air.  It was now around one o clock.  The sun was hot and I could feel the vitamin D soaking into my skin.  A loud thump to my left had me turning to see what was going on.  

Liam was loading a large paddle board into the box of his truck.  When he saw me look he smiled and waved at me.    I smiled and waved back.  Butterflies coming to life in my stomach.  Oh my, he had gotten more muscles I noted again.  Taking in his shirtless form.  I would never have thought it possible but it had happened.  

“Good morning.” He said loudly in my direction.  Oh, he’s talking to me? Without Chuck playing the mediator.  Even after everything I did to him.  

“Hi.” I returned wondering if it was possible for him to not really hate me.  It wouldn’t surprise me in all reality he is a far better person than I am.  He had finished strapping the board down and he pounced out of the back of his truck.  Then turning towards me he strode quickly across the street to stand before me.  Then he wrapped his strong muscled arms around me and pulled me into a hug.  What! I tensed at first. But then I relaxed and I breathed the scent of him deeply. I felt my knees go weak.  

“I really wanted to do that the other day but you took off so quick.  I missed you Olivia.” He said smiling a very convincing authentic smile at me. The butterflies had turned into fighter jet’s they sped across my stomach like they were going to blow up the Iraqi desert. His scent was Divine.  

“Yea you too Liam.” I said, not sure what else I should say.  Knowing what I wanted to say.  I’m sorry, take me back, make love to me here and now.  Anything to have him wrap his arms around me again.  

“How are you doing?” He asked innocently.  Smiling still as if he truly wanted to know.  

“Honestly? I’m Ok” I said honestly.  Really I was ok.  Not great.  Not dead.  Ok.  

“What are you doing today?” He asked, still smiling that smile.  What in the world is he up to? 

“Well I was going to go find Peyton and Norra they headed to the pool before I went running.”  I answered.  A small breeze picked up I caught a whiff of his cologne again.  I had forgotten how much it had attracted me.  Oh god he smelled good.  Just then the girls came walking up the street. They both greeted Liam happily.  Liam being the gentleman that he is. Walked us to the house and stepped inside the foyer with us.  After a short conversation where he politely asked them about their lives he said his good bye. Or so I thought. 

“I better get going.” He said saying goodbye to the girls.  He turned to leave and had made it halfway out the door before he turned around. 

“Olivia?” He said in a question.  

“Yes.” I answered almost too quickly.  God job not sounding eager Olivia.  

“Would you like to go paddle boarding with me? It’s always lonely no one ever wants to go with me.” I was about to say no.  But Tim who had come downstairs during our goodbye’s swatted me on the rear and said in a very low voice.

“Do it!” That was all it took.  

“Yes sure, let me change.”  I ran upstairs the girls were just taking off my swimsuits.  

“He asked me to go paddle boarding with him and I said yes before I even thought about it and now I’m nervous and I feel guilty because of Connor.” I spat out.  

“Go!” Peyton said, handing me the skimpy black bikini she had been wearing at the pool.  Then I threw on a sundress.  Grabbed a beach bag and loaded in a towel, sunscreen and my wallet.  Almost running down the stairs I met him at the door. The girls following me down.  He smiled at them. 

"You girls sure you're ok with me stealing her?" He asked. The both assured us and ushered us out the door.  We walked across the street to his truck. He followed me to my side of the truck. I knew instantly to lift me in.   His body pressed against mine in a familiar way that made me want to clutch to him.  But I let him put his hands on my hips and lift me up into the cab.  

He rushed around the otherside of the truck and jumped in firing the truck up and backing us out.  He drove us out to Bartlett Reservoir Marina.  It was like an oasis in the desert.  The desert lanscape sloped gently into a beautiful blue lake.  Held back by an intricate dam.  The palms and tumbleweed surrounding the lake made it look like something that a person dreamed up.  When Liam parked the truck I wanted to lean over and take his face to mine.  But I held back. 

“Something wrong?” He asked quickly.  I shook my head, placing a fake smile on my face.  

“Nope.” I smiled brightly at him.  

“I’ve just never done this before.” I said, he smiled knowingly.  As if I never did anything that involved balance.  Olivia, he dated you for almost a year.  He is well aware how clumsy you are.  

“Don’t worry, you can sit and I will paddle us.” He suggested.  I nodded liking that idea.  He slid the board out of the truck and then yanked off his shirt to throw it in in the truck I took that time to slip off my sundress revealing the bikini underneath.  He had his sunglasses on so I couldn’t be sure that he was looking but I had the feeling that he was.  I grabbed my sunscreen and slathered it on all the parts that I could reach and then I turned to him but he was already prepared to slather it on my back.  His hands glided slowly across my skin making every inch that he touched tingle.  It amazed me how even this innocent act could be so carnal.  How it could turn me on so much.  He took his time, making sure he got every inch of my skin.  But he was done before I was ready for him to be.  

“Alright Love lets go.” He said, goddammit calling me love. I loved it.  My heart began to melt.  As we floated away from shore I knew that I shouldn’t be out here.  I should be with my boyfriend. This was almost a betrayal of his trust.  But I wanted to be here so bad that my subconscious decided that being with Liam was far more important. Besides, we weren't doing anything. Was there really any reason why we couldn't be friends? He paddled quickly the board skimming across the water.  I sat crossed legged in front of him.  Once in awhile dipping my fingers into the warm soft water.  I watched the sparkles that danced along the surface.  I leaned my head back and let the sun soak into my skin.  But mostly I tried to focus my psyche on the man standing behind me.  I wanted to ask him to stop to pull him down to me.  To have love truly made to me.  But I wondered if it could still be love making when I had broken him the way that I had.  

When he had gone as far as he wanted he sat down on the board.  Dipping his legs into the water on either side.  I tried to turn to face him, but as I swung one leg around my clumsiness kicked in.  The board lurched to the side and tossed both of us into the water.  The cool water washed over me,right over my head.  I kicked for the surface gasping when I crested.  Liam was only an arm’s length from me when I looked for him and he was laughing. 

“Love, leave it to you to dump us both in the lake ha ha ha.” He said laughing hard.  I splashed him in irritation.  He grinned at me and splashed me back.  Shrieking I swam at him and pushed him under.  He wrapped his arms around me dragging me with him.  The he pulled me up on the board with him.  Sitting there.  My feet dragging in the water.  My second chance right at my fingertips.  I started to talk. 

“Liam, I really want to thank you for bringing me out here.  It feels nice to know that you don’t hate me.” I said sombrely. He regarded me silently for a moment.  

“Olivia, I could never and will never hate you. I will love you for the rest of my life.  You made a choice to try and better your life and I will never hold that against you.” He said with a smile. 

“Liam the way that I handled everything was wrong.  I acted so….” the words failed me and I looked off into the horizon for a minute.  

“Badly” I finished. I wasn't sure if that cut it.  He stared out over the water.  His eye’s giving me nothing to go on.  He didn’t speak so I continued.

“I knew you were a soldier from the beginning.  I knew that I would have to live with you gone for awhile.  I don’t know what came over me.  I’m really so sorry for what I did to you.  I’m so sorry I didn’t keep any of my promises.” I was trying to explain myself.  I didn’t know if I was doing a good job of it or not but surprisingly he nodded.  

“Olivia, you were seventeen years old when we met.  A child in all rights and I was ignorant to assume that you could handle a relationship like ours.  We both got swept up in the moments of passion and I’m sure we both got hurt.” He said. I nodded in agreement, he was right.  I had hurt us both badly.  

“Olivia, let’s not dwell ok? We can be friends for the rest of our lives” He said smiling.  Then he stood up to paddle us back.  The sun was high in the sky beating down upon us.  I stayed facing the way I was watching his muscles ripple under his skin from behind my sunglasses.  Every stroke of his strong arms we would glide gracefully across the water.  He had little beads of sweat prickling his skin and I desired to pull him to me and lick them from his body.  But I behaved deciding to keep my promise to Connor.  When we got to shore I hopped from the board.  He threw me a towel and I dried myself off putting my sundress back on.  Just as he went to lift me into the truck a wave of naseau hit me.  

“Wait!” I shouted running from him.  Behind a cactus I threw up.  Why was this happening.  My second heave I was vaguely aware of him holding my hair out of the way.  Stroking my back to soothe me.  I tried to push him away.  I didn’t want him to see me this way.  But he just continued to comfort me. 

“It’s ok Olivia get it all out.” He cooed at me.  I continue to heave up everything I had eaten from the night before.  Hiding myself as best I could.  When I was done I stood up and he scooped me into his arms.  My clammy skin against his warm body.  My body molding to his strong and perfect frame.  I set my head onto his shoulder and breathed in his musky scent.  Wanting nothing more than this to be where I would always go when I felt this way.  Too soon he set me in my seat and hopped up on the other side. 

“Are you ok?” He asked handing me a napkin and his water bottle.  I nodded taking a sip and wiping my mouth.  The taste of it not quite gone I took one more sip. 

“Yea I’m ok, I’ve had a bit of a flu or maybe food poisoning the last couple days.” He nodded but he looked at me oddly.  I looked silently out the window on the ride home.  Watching the sites go by.  When he pulled into his drive I noticed Connor’s car in mine.  

“Great,” I whispered silently to myself.  I hopped out of the truck before Liam could help me as Connor came striding angrily across the road.  

“Connor,” I said feigning happiness. He pushed past me and strode right up to Liam.  His forehead right at Liam’s collarbone.  He poked him with a finger in the sternum.  I hurriedly headed towards them.  Wanting to break this up before it escalated.  

“Stay the f**k away from my girlfriend.” Connor shouted into Liam’s face.  Liam simply smirked at him.  I knew he wasn’t worried in the slightest about what Connor might do to him if he didn’t oblige. 

“You hear me?” Connor screeched.  I stepped between them trying to push them apart.  But Connor simply pushed me out of the way.  

“Connor.” Liam said smartly, 

“if you push her again I will knock your teeth out.” Liam said quietly. I continued to try and break them up.  I knew Liam would never throw the first punch so I faced Connor. 

“Connor, don’t do this please?” I begged.  

Tim was running across the road to help me break it up.

“Connor, come back to the house ok?” Tim asked him tugging on his arm.  After a few seconds Connor obliged and turned.  Then Tim winked at Liam.  What? What was that? I looked apologetically at Liam and then rushed after Connor. He strode around the back of the house so I followed him.  Then into the door leading into the garage.  I rushed in behind him.  

“Lock that.” He barked at me.  I obliged knowing it wasn’t worth the fight.  Scared he was going to hit me I kept my distance. He strode to the other door locking it.  Oh s**t, if he attacked me no one could get in to save me.

“You are not to see him again!” He shouted at me, I nodded in agreement but In my head I decided to just be a little more discreet.  He covered the ground between us in two strides. I panicked, backing up as far as I could. Then he reached out and grabbed my chin roughly in his hand pinching my jaw between his fingers.  It hurt and I tried to push him off but I had no effect on him whatsoever. His face was so red.  He was so angry I didn’t want to tempt him anymore.  

“You hear me?” he growled into my face.  I nodded again. Then he pushed me.  Slamming me back against the wall with all his might.  I felt the air leaving my body.  

“Ow, Connor.  Please.” I begged him praying he would calm down.  He put a hand over my mouth muffling my cry.  

“Listen to me Olivia, I am not sharing you with him.  I catch you with him again and you are going to learn the meaning of Ouch.  Understand?”  He questioned me.  His eyebrows raised.  I nodded again. 

Then he turned and strode to the door into the yard and unlocking it and then walking back towards me.  He c****d an eyebrow and I nodded once again in agreement.

“Ok let’s go and have dinner ok?” He asked me brightly.  I nodded again and taking a deep stabilizing breath I joined him in the hall to the kitchen. Jesus, when did he start being so moody? I wondered trying to figure out when it had started. Maybe there was a reason for this.