Torn between the Devil and Angel.

A journey down memory lane

I knew this day would come, hell I had imagined quite a several times, but never in the wildness of my imagination, did events play out like this

Shutting down your instincts is all fun and games, until those same things your instincts warned you about, transpires. I sensed a rat, I saw red flags but I ignored them, I shut out whatever my friends were saying, overall I shut up my overthinking brain.

Greg Norman and I attended the same Senior High. we didn't talk much at that time, because those in commercials felt inferior to those in sciences, also I was ugly and didn't catch the fancy of most people plus I was trouble. There were girls that were deemed pretty, and boys always stuck around like a second skin.

He relocated to another state and had to leave our school, we didn't see much after that. I had forgotten all about him until we met again two years after graduation from Senior High, I wasn't in College at that point but I had friends in College and I was running a business.

As per usual I entered college with a fake ID card, I called up my friend, she was having a class at her department and asked to meet up there. I got to her department and saw her arguing with someone, turned out It was Greg, it was a worthless argument if you would ask me, they kept going back and forth and it was kinda fun to watch. Apparently she kept contact with him and they happened to be really close friends.

It wasn't a surprise he remembered me, I wasnt exactly invisible, if for anything I was overly visible back in Senior High, I was always getting into one trouble or that other. WelI I guess bad fame is still fame.

He said "Hi Amy" and his voice immediately had me shivering, we played, we gisted and had really a good time, my friend kept trying to bring up memories from Senior High and I was obviously not comfortable talking about it, which he noticed and changed the whole scope of the conversation. It was getting really late and I had to go home, I asked my friend to come see me off but she refused, he then offered to see me off.

We talked some more and he asked for my number, at first I was reluctant but he was no stranger, so I gave him. We got to where I was going to take a lotta and I boarded one and went home. On getting home, I got a call from an unknown number, I picked up and it was him, he asked if I got home safely, and I mentioned that I got home in one piece.

He asked if he could text me on Jiga and I accepted. I freshened up and turned on my mobile data, I was stressed that day and we didn't text much. The next day, we texted almost throughout and I had so much fun.

I was attracted no doubt, he had a great sense of humor, he was handsome, he was kind and he saw me. I like to be seen, I like all the attention to be on me and he sees me. He made out time to always text me, though his very busy schedule at College, he called whenever he had the chance to and it was blissful.

He asked to meet up and I certainly didn't have an issue with it. Jade knew all about it, I had filled her on the whole gist and when he asked to meet up, we both planned an outfit.

Jade was in the opinion, I wore a dress but I didn't want to make it look like I made efforts, so I opted for a sage green crop top and high-waisted jeans and paired it up with a brown Chelsea boot, my hair was styled in a ponytail. It took a lot of convincing for Jade to finally give in.

Greg and I met up at College because he had a test later that day and couldn't go far from it, he kept apologizing and saying how sorry he was on the phone.

The look he gave me, made me extremely happy I choosed this particular outfit. I don't know how he managed to look like he wanted to preserve me and eat me all up at the same time, it was intense as he gave me a look over, he looked at me like I was the hottest piece of cake on earth, and I couldn't hide the fact I flushed. We finally got where to sit and talk.

"Why aren't you in college yet?" I was surprised by the question, I immediately lowered my face in embarrassment, he noticed it and then he raised my face and all I could see in his eyes was kindness,which made me relax a little bit, he said "you don't have to answer it, if you don't feel comfortable talking about it" I certainly wasn't comfortable talking about it but I knew I needed to open up, so why stall it?

To get into college, you needed to pass two entrance exams, JAGO and TRET. These are educational bodies that organize examinations for students. I always pass JAGO but never TRET, unfortunately, these exams work concertedly.

He could relate to what I was saying, he asked if I have ever explained this to anyone else, I nodded to the negative and he hugged me really close and told me "everything was going to be just fine". I had being longing to hear those words from someone, just anyone recently.

TRET results came out a month and I failed again, my parents were livid and disappointed. But I was more disappointed in myself than they ever will be, being smiling for anyone that wanted to see it but inside, I was falling apart, I was at my lowest and i was lifted by what he said.

There was another TRET exams coming up in two months and he encouraged me through it all. The results finally came out and I made all my papers, and I finally got admitted to College, we were supposed to resume by January of the next year. Greg and I kept making plans, I fell miserably in love with him as days rolled by, "acts of service" wasnt my favorite love language but I understood that he shows his love through that means and I appreciated it. He usually cleans my nails whenever we met up, it was an unconscious gesture but it made my heart flutter. I was literally glowing in his half baked love.

I couldn't quite understand what seem to be the issue, we were happy, or so I thought. "I love you" became our normal slang but it felt like just words. Call me old school or whatever, I just knew that I wanted him to officially woo me and his constant refusal just made me want it even more.

I was open with him, I told him how important it was to me for us to be official, we talked about it severally and he promised to do it but he never did. I didn't quite see what the issue was honestly, we were so much in love, we were always seen laughing and playing, we kept making a lot of plans, I felt at ease whenever I was with him.

It was late December and I had to travel to my hometown in Sese. When I told him I was traveling, he was sad, we had earlier planned to spend Christmas cuddled up together and he wasn't please that I was leaving. Somehow, he was convinced that I will leave him if I travelled.

Knowing this fact all too well, I decided to prank him. I called him up one night after ignoring him throughout the day to tell him, I found a new guy and we should stop talking, he kept asking what he did but I dropped the call immediately because I was struggling so much to not laugh.

He called severally and I didn't pick. Then he sent a long message promising to treat me better, he even asked me to be his girl, I was so giddy, I literally screamed in my room. He said he needed to see me personally to make it official and that one doesn't count. He claimed he respected me way too much to do it over the phone.

As a fool I was, I believed it. I couldn't wait to get back home, so we could see and he could make it official. It's funny how I hate travelling but enjoyed this one regardless. I arrived pretty much late that day because of traffic and considering the fact that we needed to tidy up our apartment at Sese, so we couldn't see but then there was a next day and I was elated of course.

I had picked up an outfit before going to bed the previous day. I finally stood up at 9am after rolling basically throughout the night, I wasn't grumpy as I normally will, which was surprising because I had such a little amount of sleep. Instead I was the exact opposite, I was energized.

After I was done with what will normally be a five minute activity, but took much longer than that because I kept dancing and singing in the bath tub. I came out finally and creamed my body, it was mid January and the weather was chilly and hazy, I had to pay much attention to my heels and my skin, to avoid it cracking.

I wore a beige off shoulder bodysuit and a navy blue mum jeans, I packed my hair into a low rise ponytail, I wore hoop earring and opted for a black scandals and bag, I wore a rather large jeans jacket which made me really warm.

I was looking really beautiful, but what made me look this beautiful, wasn't the light make up on my face nor was it my outfit, it was the large smile plastered on my face. Everyone at home noticed my smiling face. It was finally going to happen and words couldn't contain my joy. He was going to make this "us" offical.

I barged into my house later that day, the smile I had on earlier was completely gone and I was very livid. Above all, I was sad and hurt. What if he didn't want me? What if he was just using me? What if I was joke all along and I had being making a fool out of myself. He acted all cool with me earlier, he kept making jokes, which I clearly didn't find funny, I was even pathetic enough to ask him whether he forgot anything?. He said "he didn't forget anything".

For the next few days, I kept acting up. I wasn't picking his calls, neither was I replying his numerous texts. After it was pretty obvious I wasn't going to give in, he came over to my house and I didn't want it to be obvious we were having issues, I came out.

Yet again, I acted really pathetic and told him to make up his mind whether he wanted me or not. I wasn't giving him an opportunity for debate when I told him, he either asked me to be his girl or let me go. I saw the surprise written all over his face, he constantly tried convincing me, but I was adamant. He asked for a day to think about what he really wanted but I already knew his answer.

The next day, he came over to the house and called me to step out. He said those seven words that for months constantly hunted and hurt me. Unfortunately, hearing something you knew was going to come, doesn't still prepare for it.