Paper Click

The Acceptance

"hey T!...."

he didn't finish yet and I interrupted

"what? paper again?"

with my eyes intentionally made wide to look sarcastic

"hahaha how did you know?"

he was laughing as if I'm not pissed off

"actually there is no use of being your best friend if I don't know what your brain is capable of thinking about"

"so you knew that I was thinking about you first before I think about the paper?"

I don't play with flowers but I don't really know how did those butterflies got stuck in my stomach and now they're having a war with my intestines

"of course I know, to whom would you beg for one forth sheet again if not from me???"

I made it sound sarcastic it won't seem like I'm affected for like 101% of my heart

"hahaha you're so smart I can't even keep up with you"

yeah sure! he was laughing cause it is the truth, never did he think about me unless he needs something from me ouch! I guess that's how boys are these days

"shut up! test papers are coming our way, we better focus"

"fine fine fine!!!"

thank GOD saved by the exam bells or else my heart will be totally crushed

hmm sorry heart tailor! I can't even protect you from my best friend, please hold on and stay strong!

AFTER THE EXAMS

"hey T!"

"prof's not here yet"

"so what if he's not here yet?"

"you don't need my papers yet"

"hahaha what the f**k T!"

"just kidding! what is it" I maintained a casual best friend talk to avoid awkward moments again but...

"what do you think about me?" when I look at him after saying this, i didn't notice he was staring so close to my face now I can't almost breathe

so I took a deep breath, swallow my stuck up saliva in and take my gaze back to my bag where I was looking for my pen before he spoke about how I think bout him

"well, what do you expect B! You’re my best friend and I already accepted the mere fact that you owe me hundreds of pages of papers by now and I'm almost declaring bankruptcy out of it"

I rolled my eyes changing the topic hoping he'd change his mind about what we are talking about, not to mention that's not the only one I get to accept by now, also that because you're my bestfriend!I have to kill my heart and stop liking you from now on if I still want you in my life

"hahaha what the heck! seriously, what I'm saying is...I mean me as a man"

"well hmmm you're a man right? don't tell me you're a gay?"

urgh!!! please B! stop it!!!you're crushing every piece of my breaking heart

"hahahaha now I know why I like you this much, your brain cells are high standardized but anyway I think you're not into me so it’s better we get it straight cause I am happy to be your bestfriend and I want you in my life forever...hmm I mean like this!"

of course! you dont have to explain that much B! just to slap my face with that truth, I knew it already

"hahaha I know right? we are on the same page when it terms to that"

I flashed a smile even when my heart is crying

this is the most frustrating fact that my heart has ever accepted my whole life...

why it has to be this hard???of all people in the world???why it has to be me in this situation???