The Magic Triangle

***RIVER***  Looking out into the stormy night sky, watching the ethereal clouds pulse with lightening, I contemplate my life and everything that has led me to this day. My mind wanders back to a welcoming time, a joyous time, when everything was right in the world and I didn’t have such a gnawing emptiness taking over my very soul.... “River! Come look at this!!” Scarlett called out as I scrambled down the rocks next to the shore. I was 11 and as carefree and wild as ever. Enjoying a vacation with my best and only friend since my parents’ divorce. I hopped down and ran over. I had always been shorter and weirder than everyone, but that didn’t seem to bother Scarlett. She had embraced me since the first day of school and we had been inseparable since. She was 11 as well, only younger than me by 3 months, but taller than me by a good four inches and she boasted a slimmer build in contrast to my own short curvier one. Her hair was the most gorgeous shade of brown I had ever seen and her eyes reflected my own deep sea of emerald green back at me. I lifted away a stray strand of my own golden hair, wishing it didn’t turn color so easily in the sun like my sun-kissed skin always did. She was gorgeous to me with her timid, docile nature and fairytale princess looks, her skin was flawless and the smoothest, most perfect cream color unless she got sun burned. She wore glasses perched carelessly on her petite nose just like mine and her features were so proportionate and natural, yet somehow still absolutely exquisite. Her smile warmed my battered heart like no other person's could. I had found a sister, my twin flame and a safe haven in her and could not comprehend how I had survived my volatile family without her presence. I quickly closed in on her as I saw her glance up and search for my approach. “What did you find?” I asked on a breath, winded from the boost of exertion due to running over. “It’s a starfish! It keeps burrowing back under the sand. Look!” She moved the wet, hardened sand away with her dainty foot, leaving the faintest outline of a star underneath. I watched in awe as the frightened star began to wiggle viciously, burying itself further underneath the sand and out of our sight yet again. We giggled with glee and began to run down the shore, splashing up warm beads of water in our wake without a single care in the world. She was lankier and a lot swifter than me, but I somehow kept up with her, just enjoying the companionship and the ability to be free from the weight of overwhelming loneliness. She stopped short and plopped down hard at the shore's edge, staring wide-eyed and out of breath at the sun on the horizon. I settled in beside her, panting in sync with her from our recent sprint, as I breathlessly followed her gaze. The sun seemed to be slowly sinking down into the vast expanse of the sea, like it was giving us a slow and painstakingly reluctant goodbye. It was a beautiful sight of yellows, oranges and pinks painting the sky as the sun made its descent for the day, as if its glorious display and last hints of warmth on my face were an unspoken promise that it would be back again tomorrow to play. I felt tears welling in my eyes, willing the absolute perfection of the day not to ever end. Scarlett put her small arm around me and hugged me close to her. “You’re my best friend and you always will be.” She promised with a smile evident in her voice. I glanced up into her searching eyes and hugged her back hard. “I love you too Scarlett, nothing will ever tear us apart.” If she only knew that she was the saving grace that held my world together. I feel moisture threatening to spill from my eyes as I am violently pulled back from my sweet reverie. “RIVER!!!” He bellows; I can hear the marked slur in just that one word as he stumbles through the house, clumsily searching for me. He must have finally roused from his routine drunken stupor. I leap from the bay window with a start, noticing that heavy rain is now aggressively pelting the glass I was moments ago daydreaming through. I grip even harder on the small pink stick still enclosed inside of my sweating palm. What a gloriously fitting night to tell the vile monster that I am pregnant with his second child. ***SCARLETT*** Carefully, I pick up Desiree as she screams at me, demanding her usual midnight bottle. She calms down slightly as I wrap her small body in my arms and begin to quietly sooth her hysterics. I quickly try to wipe the sleepiness from my eyes as I stumble with her into the kitchen to find her the sustenance she requires. I am always worrying ,even in my most sleep-deprived state, that her cries might wake her older sister Marilyn or worse, my “husband”. I sigh heavily at that thought and shift Desiree’s weight onto my hip so I can use my other hand to prepare her bottle. She already knows what is coming, so she is now playing happily with my messy hair and cooing quietly in my ear. I try hard to focus on her soft adorable coos and fight the painful memories that I know are about to arise from thinking about my husband James, that is if you can even call him a husband. I found out he had an affair not long after I discovered I was pregnant with Desiree. It devastated my entire world when I found condoms in his car and I fell into a dark, scary place deep inside of my mind that I try to avoid every time I think about or see him. When I first found out, I hounded him relentlessly for weeks until he finally broke down and told me who it was. I reluctantly stayed with my sister-in-law for a while, which was probably a mistake since his entire family wanted to make lame excuses for him... “He was stressed... He had to work so hard and be gone so much... He was working and going back to school for you...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH”. We did ultimately decide to stay together and try to work things out for the girl's sake, but honestly, we have been certified roommates since the adultery was discovered. We have had zero intimacy between us since that moment and I am almost positive he is still seeing someone else. He is so protective over his phone and he always walks away from me, so I cannot hear his conversations. It takes him longer to get home from work than it used to and, unless it is about the girls, we rarely even speak to each other. My self-esteem has been beaten down so low that I tell myself I don’t even care anymore. I turn to other guys online to try to salvage what little self-esteem I have left and to curb my own healthy s****l appetites. I stop my thoughts to settle into the rocking chair as Desiree excitedly reaches for her bottle. We both guide it to her little open bird mouth and I smile as she attacks it. I watch her beautiful little innocent face as she happily suckles her milk without any care in the world and I can’t help but notice how much she looks like him. I really don’t want to be jealous of that fact, but after all the hell he has put me through, he truly doesn’t deserve for her to have his face. I stop reflecting on that before I go too far down the rabbit hole and, with my free hand, I shimmy my phone out of my pajama pants pocket to try and distract myself. I blow a stray hair out of my face that got dislodged from my mom bun so I can see what I want to do. I’m not too big on phone games, so I naturally turn to f*******:. Perhaps I can get lost in someone else’s less dramatic life for a little while and forget my own despair. I hastily browse through my newsfeed and, like always, I end up on River’s page. River was the best friend I ever had. We haven’t really spoken, except in passing, since the end of our middle school year and that always hurt and confused me. We were inseparable and she probably had no idea how much she truly rescued me back then from my strict psycho parents who believed it was right to shelter me from everything enjoyable and worth doing in life. The bulk of my most favorable childhood experiences all centered around River. She was my God send and I loved her more than I thought I could ever love anyone else. Then, my mom grounded me for pretty much all of high school when she caught me sexually experimenting with a guy in our house while they were supposed to be gone. I was banned from going to River’s house anymore and River suspected my mom blamed her for being a bad influence on me. Sadly, our relationship just wilted and eventually died after that. I hastily just click on a few photos at the top of her page. River has been excitedly posting pictures to announce her second pregnancy. She had just announced it sometime last week and, for what it is worth, she appears to be content and happy with her life. She moved to Florida about a year ago with her husband, Richard, and their 2.5-year-old son, Alex. They moved into a huge blue house with an impressive inground pool, they travel a lot, and purchased an expensive-looking but adorable little brown toy poodle who looks very much spoiled. River did always love her animals. From her posts, it seems that Richard buys her everything she could ever want and need. That is not the life the River I had always known would have had, but she appears happy. I sigh wearily as I adamantly click out of her photos. I don’t want to be jealous of River, but I remember how it felt to have a husband who dotes on you, loves you, and doesn’t have eyes for anyone but you. I quickly go to her feed to ward off the demons trying to suck me into the abyss and casually glance through her most recent posts. Suddenly, my breath catches hard in my throat and my heart skips a beat as I read what is in front of me. I drop my phone from surprise as the air enters my deprived lungs again and my heart resorts back to its regular rhythm. There is no possible way that was River’s feed. I must have read it completely wrong in my sleepy state of mind or accidently clicked on the wrong thing when I went back. I rub my eyes hard in a futile attempt to clear my head and look down to check on Desiree. She is still happily guzzling down her milk as if nothing has even happened. I pull her bottle away, much to her displeasure, just long enough to try to get a decent burp out of her. As she is propped up against my shoulder and I am alternating between patting and rubbing her back, I think back to River’s page and convince myself that I must have mistakenly clicked on someone else’s profile or just read it completely wrong. I never did think Richard was the greatest fit for River but I had convinced myself that I may not know her as thoroughly as I used to. For some reason, when she was dating Paul, before Richard, I had this certainty that he was her soulmate, but we had been traveling our own paths for so long that she very well could be an entirely different person by now. She definitely seems to be enjoying the stuff that I never thought she would. She was always falling head-over-heels for those rugged, genuine-type guys. The ones who truly did have a heart of gold and normally not a single penny to their name, but that never bothered River. River never cared about material things or how flashy or expensive something was. She always valued people and their characters above anything else. It was one of the many things I loved most about her, that she loved me for me, period. That was why I was so shocked when I heard she had gotten engaged to and then married Richard. I don’t know him personally, but I know of him. When you live in a small town like Bodal, everyone knows a little something about everyone. He has always been a showboat, showing off his latest acquisitions and he always had to have the very best of everything. He flips jobs faster than he changes his underwear in order to chase any opportunity that will put him another step ahead and he drags River along with him wherever he goes. I can’t even give her credit for marrying him for his looks. He is a short guy, probably about my height at five foot 9 inches, but River probably doesn’t mind that, since she has always been a shorty. He also has short kinky brown hair that always looks matted, but at least his teeth are straight. I would know, I am a dental assistant, but they seem way too big for his mouth. His nose, lips, and eyes were all big and exaggerated and the glasses he wore did not help the appearance of disproportion in the slightest. River is an attractive woman and she managed to drop the baby weight after her first boy, Alex, was born. She could have someone so much more suited for her. She always seems content and happy on social media though; I never would have suspected that she wasn’t. Score one for her to move away from the gossiping biddies of this small town. A slight burp from Desiree interrupted my thoughts and I stooped down quickly to pick up my dropped phone before I gently lay her back down on my arm for the rest of her feeding. As soon as Desiree has settled in and got back to ignoring me for her precious bottle, I open f*******: back up and scan the screen. I double check and confirm that I am still, in fact, on River’s page and then I scroll down to find her latest post. It reads... “Richard and I have decided it is for the best that we go our separate ways. We hope everyone understands and I will be moving back to Georgia next week”. It says she posted it late last night and there are a lot of comments below the post, none of which she has granted a response. I don’t know why, but I feel that kindred connection with her again almost instantly. My friend, no matter how long we have been apart, needs me right now. I can just sense it. I feel a spark of hope that maybe, just maybe, she needs me now as much as I need her, so I send her a private message telling her if she ever needs someone to talk to, I am here. Before I can even set my phone back on my lap, I see the dots indicating a reply and I subconsciously hold my breath.