Gem

Forgiveness

“Am I in for anymore surprises during dinner?” I ask Ryder with a straight face. “That depends.. Will you allow me to be affectionate in public?” He says to me with his signature stupid smirk and a wink. “Ryder really? I will hurt you.” I say with my hands on my hips. He runs over to me and scoops me up in his arms.

“Wait until we are alone again.” He whispers in my ear giving me goosebumps. I roll my eyes trying to not let him see his effect on me. Once he gains his wolf it will be heightened. “Haze where’d you go?” He says looking at me and I laugh. “Sorry I must’ve spaced out. Anyways can we go eat I am starving. I didn’t eat much of anything today.” I say snuggling into his chest. He kisses the top of my head and let’s me down.

“What did you do today?” He asks me not moving from in front of me. “All we did was talk I promise you it is harmless. He is a friend. A good one of mine now. I hope someday you will be his too.” I say rubbing his arms up and down reassuring him. He sighs loudly then runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t have a choice do I?” He asks looking in my eyes. I shake my head side to side then give him a kiss on his soft lips. He smiles widely.

“Only if I can kiss you the rest of my life.” He says making me laugh. “We will see how you do. Now let’s go lover boy.” I say grabbing his hand and we head out my door. We pass the sitting area my parents no where to be found. We get in the elevator and Ryder is so touchy. It’s growing on me. I didn’t realize how much I actually liked it. Probably because I shut it down each time..

We get to the main floor and he stops. I look at him with a smile and grab his hand. We walk together to the dining hall. Our friends at our usual table. We stop to grab some burgers and fries. Ryder carry’s the trays and I grab our drinks. We walk over and Karson is the first to open his big mouth.

“So does this mean it’s official now?” He says with a look. “She’s stuck with me. Right buttercup?” He says looking down at me. Stass shoots me a confused look as I look over to her and Blake. I know Ryder saw it.. “Yes we are and we are happy.” I say finally sitting down and Ryder sits next to me. “Good. I’m happy to hear that.” Karson says and I look up meeting his eyes. Seeing mixed emotions from him. I just nod. We eat and laugh with our friends. ‘Keep your cool. Don’t let her get under your skin. Trust me.’ I look up to see Blake staring at me knowing he just mind-linked me something I did not want to hear nor believe right now..

I close my eyes knowing what was coming next I turn my head to see Elena walk right up to Ryder. “Hey Ry I’ve been looking for you.” She says touching his arm and I feel Angels anger rising. I look straight to Blake who is the only one keeping me sane in this moment. ‘Breathe Hazel. You aren’t suppose to have a wolf right now.’ He says while Ryder said something to Elena and I completely missed it. Frustrated about me missing what he said on top of her even being here is making me lose patience. I abruptly stand up and Blake fidgets. Ryder grabs my wrist and I look at him. “Good night everyone.” I say pulling my wrist from him. I walk away not giving anyone a second chance. I can hear Elena wishing me a good night and I debate turning around to kill her.

I pick up my pace knowing Karson had gotten up to follow me. Once I’m out of the dining hall I turn around feeling fast as lighting pushing Karson to the wall with one arm. “Dam.n that hurt. Not gonna lie.” He says rubbing his chest after I let him go. “Can you just give me a break. I still don’t want to talk to you.” I say to him with my arms folded. “Buttercup. I’m so sorry.” I hear Ryder say running over to us and I roll my eyes. He steps to touch me and I put my hand up.

“Don’t do this to me beautiful. I told her to f***k off in the rudest way possible I just needed Karson to hold you here a minute. You have to believe me.” He says inching forward with his puppy dog eyes.

“Alright I’m out. Good luck. I will see you around Hazel. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for everything between us.. I will never forgive myself.” He says with his head down and walks away. I watch him walk away then look at Ryder. He closes our distance and wraps me in his arms. “When are you going to forgive him?” He asks me holding me and I shrug.

“Also for the record you are mine Hazel. No one is changing my mind. I love you for real I don’t need a bond. I have always loved you.” He whispers in my ear. I take his face in between my hands and kiss him. He holds me tighter kissing me back when someone clears their throat and we break away. I see my fathers traumatized face and my mother holding in her laughter as our Alpha and Luna congratulate us before walking into the dining hall to greet pack members as they always do after they have their meals each day.

“I am so happy to see you kids made up.” My mother says with happy tears. She has always been emotional. I know that’s where I get it from. I smile breaking out of Ryders embrace. My father steps forward. “As much as I don’t want to see the public affection.. Well done son.” He says giving Ryder a pat on the back and I smile whole heartily. My parents head into the dining hall after our Alpha and Luna, leaving us alone once again. “Now that they are gone should we take this party back to your room?” He asks me wiggling his eyebrows and I just shake my head laughing a little.

“Actually there is something I need to do first.. Go up and wait for me?” I say smiling at him. He just gives me a look. I chuckle. “I’m going to clear the air with Karson. It’s been weighing on me. Now that you and I are good I want to be good with him too. He’s my best friend and I miss him so much.” I say with tears in my eyes. He really is so special to me aside everything that has happened. “Okay buttercup but don’t be too long or I will have to come find you.” Ryder says wiping my tears and giving me a kiss. He walks towards the elevator sending me winks and kisses. I shake my head going the opposite direction knowing to check our pack gym first.

I walk in knowing he would be here. He’s doing some sparring with Callum. He must’ve yanked him away from dinner since usually no one is in here during meal times. They both look my way then back to each other. “That’s my cue. You two play nice now. I’m going for dessert so I can’t babysit right now.” He says with a chuckle grabbing his water bottle and walking out leaving Karson and I alone.

He grunts loudly laying flat on the mat. I walk over to where he is and lay down next to him. “I’m sorry. This last week has been.. Well to say the least really messing with me. My world has turned upside down. I feel like I have lost sight of everything I’ve ever known.” I say while looking up at the ceiling.

A minute or two goes by before he rolls onto his stomach bumping into me. We look at each other and laugh. “Sorry old habits.” He says laughing and I sit up smiling. “Do you want to go for a walk?” He asks as he stands up then reaches his hand down at me. I nod my head grab his hand. He pulls me up and into his arms. I stay there a minute in his warm embrace. I missed it. He lets go and we walk outside opposite from the pack house further into the woods where we would always escape to after long training days or if he was having a rough day and I didn’t want to deal with Ryder flirting every ten seconds.

“You know what I just realized?” He asks me as I walk a little ahead as usual. “What?” I ask. My impeccable vision always helped us. “I know I fu.cked things up for our friendship but please forgive me. I didn’t realize that it would cause the spiral of all this.. I am truly so sorry.” He says giving me a bone crushing hug like he always does then let’s go and takes a step back. I look up at him then look away sighing. “I appreciate you apologizing but you didn’t cause anything that wasn’t going to happen anyways. I don’t blame you for that. In fact I don’t blame anyone I just wish I was told this when I shifted for the first time as a young child. I have been keeping my wolf hidden and she has suffered from that. She has only spoken to me a few times.” I say sadly. Which is true she has basically been in the dark. Not shifting in the last nine years is kinda dangerous for my wolf I would think too..

“I’m sorry you’ve had to keep that hidden.. But what if you shifted now? You know go for a quick run in the woods.” He says he stops walking. “Right now? Are you crazy?” I say stopping to turn around and face him. “Why not?” He asks with a smile and I nod my head. I give a faint smile before I try and concentrate..

I close my eyes trying to think only about Angel. A few minutes go by and I have heard nothing nor felt her try to surface at all.. ‘Angel please’ I say through mink-link but get no response.. “I.. It’s not happening tonight.. She won’t respond to me.” I say softly feeling defeated. He gives me a big hug. “Hey it’s alright Haze.” He says rubbing my back. I slowly break out of our hug and he looks confused.

“Um it’s getting late I should really get back. Ryder is waiting for me and if I’m gone too long he will come looking for me.” I say lightly chuckling. “Yeah he is understanding but I don’t think he would be so fond of us being in the woods at night alone.” Karson says smiling at me and I nodded my head. We walk out of the woods and back to the pack house. I decided to take the stairs while Karson took the elevator. I get up to my floor and it’s quiet. I open my bedroom door and see Ryder laying on my bed.

“Finally I was going to come looking for you buttercup.” He says giving me a serious look just laying there arms behind his head. I laugh. “Well that would have been eventful I’m sure. Things are all good with Karson. We hashed it out thank goddess.” I say as I get over to my closet to quickly change then walk to my bed and get in. “Good. I’ve missed you.” Ryder says pulling me into him and I feel all the tingles. The more I’m with him the stronger they get. Not to mention he is only in his boxer briefs so I’m feeling all sorts of ways. He must’ve realized my hesitation when his junk rubbed against me.

“It’s okay buttercup. He will be a good boy.” He says in my ear sending a sensation through me. “Ryder I’m not ready for this yet. We have just gotten on good terms.” I say lightly pushing away but his grip only tightens. “I would never force you to do anything. I also don’t ever want to let you go so stop trying to escape me any chance you get.” He chuckles. He moves to lay down flat on his back and I crawl over to put my head on his arm as he holds me. He closed his eyes and I take a few minutes to admire his features.

He truly is so handsome. I’ve always thought that even though I pushed him away. I guess I just never realized what he could mean for me. With Karsons birthday right around the corner than shortly after Ryder’s. It would be interesting to interact with their wolves. I hope Angel will surface too. One can only hope. I give him a kiss and we slept the night through.