Las Cosas Series #2: A Mare's Nest Faith

Capitulo Trece

I stood up straight and arched my back. Narinig ko pa ang paglagatok ng mga kabutuhan ko. I put the duster on the nearby table before I wiped the bullets of sweat on my forehead and blew a breath. Kinuha ko ang pantali at pinusod ang buhok.

Wala akong pasok sa sabado at linggo. It's saturday at mamayang gabi magca-club ang mga empleyado sa departamento namin. I thought twice of coming with them because I don't want to see Max, much more 'party' with him. Hell no!

Pinagod ko ang sarili sa paglilinis nitong munti kong apartment. One-storey lang itong kinuha ko dahil ako lang naman isa ang titira. The house contains one room, small kitchen and a small living room. May bathroom din pero hindi kalakihan.

Kahit maliit ay maayos namang tingnan. Dinisenyohan ko din ito at binilhan ng ilang furnitures para kaaya-ayang tingnan.

I looked at my mini book shelf full of different kinds of reading materials. There goes; Encyclopedias, Dictionaries, Magazines, Filipino and English Novels (Modern and Classic) and many more.

Pinasadhan ko ng hawak ang mga nakahilerang libro na nasa unang baitang. Ito ang ang mga librong binigay ni Max noon. Kahit nagalit ako sa kaniya ay nagawa ko pa ring basahin ang mga binigay niyang libro, until it became my hobby. I bought classical books tulad ng mga binigay ni Max at naaliw sa pagbabasa noon.

I adapted his likes and that made me more irritated at him. Dahil ano mang galit ang maramdaman ko ay nagagawa ko paring masunod ang mga gusto niya kahit wala siya! That's how big his impact to me.

My mind again wandered on the upcoming party tonight. Would I go? Nakapagbitaw na ako ng salita kay Risse, and as I've said, the woman doesn't take no for an answer. At kung hindi ako magpapakita ngayon baka magtampo ito. Pero ayoko ding makita si Max... But then, hindi naman siya ang pupuntahan ko doon at balak ko ding bumawi dito...

Hindi ko matanggap na pinagsalitaan ako nito ng masama. Sino siya sa akala niya? Hah! Lintik lang ang walang ganti.

Evening came and the clock striked seven. Buong araw akong nag-isip and I came up with a decision. I'll go. Sinabi ko noon na hindi ako magpapaapekto dito, at para patunayan 'yon ay dapat harapin ko ito.

Hindi ako mahilig sa mga sexy na damit kaya medyo nagkaproblema ako sa kung ano ang susuotin ko. Clubs has dress codes, some doesn't. But I bet may dress code ang pupuntahan naming aliwan. It took me an hour of finding something to wear and at last! Luckily I found a slightly daring dress on my wardrobe.

I took a bath and blowdried my hair before putting a light foundation, matte lipstick and a blush-on. Risse taught me on how to put an eye-shadow, I learned easily. Naalala ko ang tinuro nito at naglagay ng kaunting kolorete sa ibabaw ng mata. Charisse gave me a pallete of eye-shadow makeup, might as well use it for tonight. Hindi naman ako naglalagay nito sa trabaho. And I can call this party 'quite' an occasion kaya ayos lang naman sigurong mag-ayos ng kaunti.

Maliit lang ang mukha ko at maayos ang tabas ng kilay na nakuha ko kay nanay. Hindi gaanong makapal at makurba ang pilantik ko sa mata, pero masasabi kong ayos lang naman ito. My slightly chinky eyes looks so alive. Maliit lang ang ilong ko pero may katangusan naman. And I have a small but slightly puckered lips and a high cheekbone.

Kamukha ko si nanay at si ate Roan.

I wore a black bodycon backless dress na bigay pa ni Garutay. I didn't thought that I'll make use of this... But here I am, having a hard time wearing this skimpy dress. Hindi ko din namalayan na nasali ko pala ito sa maleta noon. Pinaresan ko ang suot ng isang three inches stilleto na sobrang pinag-isipan ko pa. But my outfit would be ruined if I wear a flat shoes.

Napabuntong hininga ako. Minsan lang naman ako magsuot ng may takong.

I sprayed a rightful amount of perfume on the side of my neck and wrists then I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Perfect. I'm now ready to go.

Isang itim na clutch ang bitbit ko kung saan nakalagay ang susi ng bahay, cellphone, lipstick at compact powder. Sumakay ako ng taxi papunta sa sinabing club.

The smell of smoke, blinding laser lights and Neffex's electronic music remixed with the DJ's favored song greeted me. Alas-nuebe pa lang at hindi pa peak ng party pero may iilan ng nagsasayawan sa dance floor. I looked around to find them, at dahil hindi pa ganoon karami ang mga tao ay agad ko silang naispatan.

I walked my way near them. I saw their familiar faces laughing and having some good time while sitting on the crimson red U-couch they rented with boozes on their hands.

"Ysabelle!" Sigaw ni Charisse.

Nakangiting tumayo ang babae at lumapit sa akin upang gawaran ng isang yakap at beso.

"I'm glad you came!" Aniya.

"I'm glad you're not late," natatawang bati ko sa kaniya. Pansin ko kasing lagi ng nala-late ito sa trabaho.

She just slapped my arms playfully and laughed. Both of her hands are now clutching my shoulders as she eyed me from head to toe. Her mouth formed an O and laughed with amazement afterwards.

"Gosh...girl, you look so damn lit tonight! And you learned how to put eyeshadows na! So gorgeous, Ysa. And sexy..." She winked. Charisse look so proud upon observing me. Napangisi nalang ako at umiling.

She led me to the couch and proudly announced my presence to everyone.

"Guys, look who's here..."

They greeted me. I heard someone whistled too.

"Ysa, ang ganda mo kapag naayusan. Hindi naman sa hindi ka maganda kapag hindi, mas lalo ka lang gumanda ngayon ang sexy pa, oh." Puna ni Daphne. Ngumisi lang ako rito.

Umupo ako roon at nakisali sa kanila nang naramdaman kong may tumabi sa akin.

"You look dashing tonight, Maria."

I was taken a back by Sir Jarred when he suddenly spoke. Nakatingin ito sa akin at namumungay na ang mga mata ng kaunti.

"S-salamat po."

This is the first time he addressed me on first name bases. Lumalalim na ang gabi at umiingay na ang paligid. Bumaha ng mga tao sa dance floor. They're dancing wildly as the trance music boomed around the club. Medyo nahihilo na din ako sa party lights na tumatama sa mata ko.

"Stop saying 'po and opo' when we're outside. I told you to call me Jarred, remember?" Ani nito habang humahalakhak.

Tumango nalang ako bilang sagot at lumagok sa hawak na martini. I'm not into these; clubs, alcoholic drinks and such. I'm never used to parties way back in Las Cosas. Tambay lang kami ng mga kaibigan ko sa mga fastfood chains at hindi sa ganito. But then this is an experience and I guess it's fine to try this, minsan lang naman. At nagpaalam naman ako kay nanay kanina na pupunta dito, at pumayag ito.

Jarred and I talked about stuff, what's going on with our lives and etc. Though, I'm still kind of awkward whenever he adresses me as "Maria," siguro ay dahil hindi lang ako sanay na tawagin sa unang pangalan.

Pero sa "Bella" sanay ka? Ani ng isang bahagi ng utak ko. I scoffed insidely.

I never thought that your own mind is sometimes a villain to your ownself-Ironic, I know. But that's how I feel as of the moment. I feel like my mind is a traitor.

"Why did you choose to have your training in Luzon, particularly here in Manila?" Jarred asked.

Pinagmasdan ko ang hawak na alak at pinaglaruan iyon.

"Training in Core Inc. is a great opportunity. So why not grab it?" I answered casually.

Narinig ko itong humalakhak. "Yeah, right. But isn't it hard to be away from your family. Visayas is quite far."

I looked at him sideways. I saw how his face reddened as he gulped from his drink. He's tipsy. Hindi ko na ito nasagot nang marinig kong naghiyawan ang aming mga kasamahan.

Hannah's smiling widely habang binabati ang aming mga kasama. Tinutudyo pa siya ng iba and she just smiles at them shyly. I noticed how her grip on Max's arm tightened. Max and Hannah came here together, with the latter clunging on to the guy. They look like some sort of couple.

Max is wearing a white button down shirt, slacks a leather shoes, and his hair is combed backwards. He's currently wearing his infamous 'stoic' look too. 'Yan ang isa sa mga napansin kong hindi nagbago sa kanya. Pero tingin ko ay playboy na ito ngayon. I saw him last week hugging a girl, and now another girl's clinging into him. At ako pa ang sinabihan niya ng 'malandi' kahapon. Hah! Look at this little hypocrite. Ang lakas ng apog na pagsalitaan ako, tapos siya pala ang ganoon.

I immediately look away when he glance on my direction.

Mamaya ka sa'king lalaki ka. I'll let you taste your own medicine.

Jarred and the others went to the dancefloor. A girl employee dragged him kaya wala itong nagawa at sumama nalang. Tahimik lang ako sa upuan at nagmamasid. Hindi ako uminom ng marami dahil uuwi pa ako. I can't drag my ass back home when I'm drunk.

Lumubog ang couch sa tabi ko na nagpapahiwatig na may umupo roon.

"Having some good time?"

Nairolyo ko ang mata nang marinig ang boses ng damuho. Bakit ba bigla-bigla nalang 'tong nakikipag-usap sa'kin? Napaka-feeling close.

Iilan na lang kaming nakaupo rito sa couch. Kami lang ni Max ang nasa sulok at ang nasa tapat namin na dalawang babae ay busy sa pagkakalaykay ng kanilang mga cellphone. Nasa dancefloor na siguro ang lahat.

Inisang lagok ko ang martini at nilapag sa mesa. Alas-doce na ng madaling araw, gusto ko nang umuwi. Kaso wala pa ang iba at ang sama ko sigurong tingnan kung aalis ako ng walang paalam.

Tumaas ang kilay ko nang maglahad itong katabi ko ng isang bote ng tubig sa akin.

"Here. Take this." Tinitigan ko lang ang bote.

"No, thanks. Baka may lason 'yan. Sabi ni nanay huwag tumanggap ng kung ano galing sa isang estranghero kapag nasa club." Dire-diretso kong sabi.

"So I'm a stranger to you now, huh?"

Natigilan ako sa dating ng pagsabi niya nun. Sinilip ko ang mukha nito at ganun nalang ang pagkalito ko nang may mabanaag na sakit roon. That's...weird. Napansin ko rin ang munting galos sa gilid ng labi nito na gawa ng suntok ko kahapon. Medyo nanakit pa nga ang kamay ko sa tigas ng mukha nito. Pero kahit nagalusan ko ang perpektong mukha ng damuho, ay ang gwapo pa rin. The bruise I gave him made him look more appealing.

Iniwas ko ang mata dito at tinutok sa mga taong nagsasayawan.

Natahimik kaming dalawa ng ilang minuto.

"You look like a temptress tonight." Nagsitindigan ang mga balahibo ko lalo na sa sintindo.

His husky and drowsy voice sounds so seductive-ipiniling ko ang ulo. God, what am I thinking?! Seductive? Really, Ysa?

"Hah! At ano? Sasabihan mo na naman ako ng malandi dahil sa suot ko? Ha?" Pinanlakihan ko ito ng mata at hinarap habang tinatalakan. But the wolf in me suddenly turned into a puppy in just a snap nang pinasadahan ako ng tingin ng damuho! He inspected my wholeness that made me awkward. By how he looks at me... Err... Bigla akong nahiya dahil sa ginawa nito.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago nagsalitang muli.

"Ako pa ang pinagsabihan mo ng 'malandi.' Tss. Eh, ano nalang ang tawag sa'yo?"

"What did you say?" My heart beat eratically on his low baritone voice, but I kept myself composed.

I gulped and dragged my gaze away from him. I don't want to see his hawlike stares.

"Nakita lang naman kitang may kayakap na babae sa harap ng Core Inc. Building noong nakaraang linggo, tapos kanina may ibang babae na namang nakakuyapit sa'yo." Napaismid ako. "Tapos ako itong inaakusahan mong malandi? Nakakahiya naman sa'yo, Max, na may napakaraming babae." I said sarcastically.

"Temptress, temptress. Hah! Ikaw higad." Pabulong kong panlalait sa kaniya.

"I'm sorry..." Natigilan ako sa pagbulong-bulong ko.

I tried to look at him but I'm having a hard time to breathe. Parang magkakahika yata ako.

He looks so....petrified. Tila nagmamakaawa ang mga mata nitong 'sing lalim at 'sing dilim ng gabi. I think I'll drown if I won't look away. His depths speaks pain and agony. It's like he's revealing to me that he's suffering. He's taking off his mask, his façade! And it's making me weak...

"I'm so sorry, Bella..." Pinigilan kong matunaw ang harang na nilagay ko sa aming pagitan. Hindi ako pwedeng manghina. Hindi pwede.

I looked at him, void of any emotions.

"Para saan?" It took me a great amount of strength para mausal iyon. "Dahil sinabihan mo 'ko ng maland-"

"That," agad niyang putol. "And..."

My breathing's starting to get heavy.

"And what?" I asked.

Nag-angat ito ng tingin. His green eyes were dancing against mine, like he's reading my thoughts, my soul... And no matter how hard I conceal the anger I am feeling...it leaked.

"And for leaving you..." He said while staring deeply into my eyes.

What he said triggered something inside me.

Wrong move, Maximus.

I put my hands into fist. I'm trying so damn hard to tame the beast inside me not to leash out. I gritted my teeth.

"Stay right there, Max. Don't try to cross the line." I said.

This is what I want right? Ang maungkat ang nakaraan. Ang malaman kung bakit niya ako iniwan pagkatapos ko siyang pagkatiwalaan.

I was so fragile before he left, he knew that. I opened myself to him because I thought he can be trusted. It was very hard for me to trust again that time but I tried my luck. But it came out that he was amongst them. He left me too... When he did, the scotch tape that's binding my broken pieces together lost it stickiness. And that left me shattered on the floor. Helpless, hopeless, and once again, faithless...

I don't know why it suddenly became a sensitive topic for me. Hindi ko inaasahan 'to.

Hindi nagpatinag si Max at nagpatuloy.

"I'm sorry for leaving you behind, glykía. Patawad kung hindi ako nagpaalam. Please hear me out..." His voice is pleading. But it didn't moved me.

I was holding into my tiniest strand of patience but he's making me snap.

"Why would I? What's there to be tackled? It's all in the past, Max. Let's leave it there. Let the wet wood stay as it is, huwag mo ng silaban dahil hindi aapoy ang basang kahoy." Ang totoo niyan, hindi ko talaga alam kung anong konek ng una sa huli kong sinabi.

"Your explanation's way too late, Max. It's years too late." Pahabol ko pa.

Tumayo ako at umalis roon. I bumped into one of my officemates at sa kaniya nalang ako nagpaalam at humingi ng pabor na sabihin sa iba na uuwi na ako dahil sumama ang pakiramdam ko.

I had a hard time on passing against the sea of people dancing wildly like an animal that just got out from it's cage.

Geez people, give way please.

Napabuga ako ng malakas nang makalabas sa wakas! Ah... Napapikit ako ng sandali at dinama ang malamig na hangin sa labas ng club. May mangilan ngilang tao rito na papasok at lumabas ng bar. May ibang nakatambay lang at nakasandal sa kanilang mga kotse na nakaparking dito. May ibang nagme-make out sa madilim na parte. Napailing nalang ako.

I stopped in a nearby light post. Napahawak ako sa pole at itinaas ng padekwatro ang kanang paa. Hinubad ko ang heels at nilagay sa simento na nagsisilbing base ng pole. I massaged my foot. Namumula na ito ng kaunti dahil sa suot ko kanina na three inches heel. This is the reason why I don't wear one at work at dahil na rin matangkad naman ako. Ngayon lang dahil tingin ko'y nababagay ang pagsuot ng takong sa outfit ko.

Muntik na akong manudnod sa sahig nang may biglang humaklit sa braso ko, making me lose my balance. Good thing, whoever's gripping my arm is tightly holding me kaya hindi ako tuluyang nadapa. Una pa ang mukha kong humalik sa semento kung sakali.

Ibinaba kong muli ang paa at itinapak sa malamig na semento.

"Are you okay?" Natuod ako sa kinatatayuan at napakumo.

Nagngangalit ko itong nilingon. "Bakit mo ako sinundan?!"

His eyes softened. They looked tired and weary. He sighed.

"Please, Bella... Hear me out."

I think my heart skipped a beat at his pleading voice. "Hear me out." It was like he's begging to be heard. To lend my ears to him for a minute and listen.

Nagpapalit-palit ang tingin ko sa mga mata niyang tila sobrang pagod. I flinched when his hand touched my elbow. Inilayo nito ng bahagya ang kamay pero muling nilapat. I became unmoving like a statue being taken out it's liberty to move.

His touch was full of care, like his touching a fragile thing that'll break any minute from now.

"Hear me out, please..." Masuyo nitong pakiusap.

He took me to a nearby 24 hours open Café. May ilang tao ding naroon na may kaharap na laptops at ang iba'y mukhang galing din sa club o bar at napahuhupa ng kalasingan. Mabibilang lang sa kamay ang naroon at tahimik ang lahat, alas-doce nadin kasi ng umaga.

He pulled me a chair. Napatingin ako sa kaniya, he was just looking at me with a troubled look. I never saw him like this-having second thoughts and such. I knew him as a proud man, always sure of what he's doing, but now... Gone was the proud Max. Ang Max na nasa harap ko ay puno ng pangamba at nerbyos, tila hindi sigurado sa kung ano ang sunod na gagawin. I stared at him for a second before I silently sat on the chair he pulled for me.

He hand me the menu and let me order. Cappuccino ang kinuha ko. Ang kaniya naman ay...

"Black coffee, no cream, no sugar, please."

Matapang na kape ang kinuha niya. Iyong kapeng sa sobrang tapang ay kaya kang ipaglaban, pero ang nag-order, hindi.

Nakiramdam lang ako sa kaniya, ganun din ito. Nagpakiramdaman lang kami.

Hinintay niya pang dumating ang mga order namin bago nagsalita.