So Confused

Chapter 12

I heard 3 knocks on my door. Kinuha ko na ang satchel ko at binuksan ang pinto.

“Ready?” he asked.

I was mesmerized. Nag gel ba siya ng buhok niya? Dati kasi ay bagsak ang buhok niya, yung parang kay Kageyama Tobio ba ng Haikyu. Ngayon kasi itinaas niya, ngayon ko lang napansin na may scar siya sa bandang noo niya. Maliit lang naman pero halata siya. Dumagdag pa lalo sa bad boy side niya.

“You look different” I commented. And he smells good too.

He smirked at me and arched his brows

“You like it?” He asked me. Nagkibit balikat lang ako. Baka mamaya lumaki ang ulo niya at magyabang pa.

“Well bagay naman sayo.”

He smirked at me like he was telling me na I was drooling over him. See? Paano pa kaya kapag sinabi kong gwapo siya. Nginiwian ko siya at nagpauna na lumakad.

“Suot mo to.” Ibinigay niya sa akin ang isa niyang helmet.

Tiningnan ko ang design nun. Feeling ko anime to eh, magganda kasi pagkaka-animate sa drawings.

“What? Gusto mo ako magsuot sayo?” He smirked again.

Ihahampas ko sana sakanya yung helmet, buti nakapagpigil ako. These past few days he had been so talkative and blunt. Dati naman tipid lang siya magkwento pero ngayon, he is even boasting about his face.

“I’m just looking at the design”

“Pina-personalize ko pa yan. That’s my fave anime.”

Napatango naman ako at saka sinuot ang helmet.

“Kumapit ka. I’ll make this fast”

“Sus, gusto mo lang mayakap eh”

“Buti alam mo”

“Hindi ako hahawak sayo Rivarez. Kala mo naman napakamalaman mo. Ang payat mo kaya.”

“Coming from someone less than 50 kilos.”

“Atleast ako mataba naman tingnan, ikaw ang payat mo.”

“Are you gonna argue here with me or kakain tayo?”

“Syempre kakain”

Karlwin drove and brought me to a resto not too far from mg apartment. He said that masarap daw kasi ang dishes dito.

I never yet explored this part, hindi naman kasi ako mahilig lumabas. Pag kauwi ko sa school ay apartment kaagad. Kung lalabas man ay sa mall ang diretso ko.

“May gagawin ka ba bukas?” he asked me

“I planned to clean my place.”

“Can you postpone it?”

Isinubo ko ang pagkain ko at tumingin sakanya “Bakit naman?”

“I’ll bring you to someone important”

Someone important? Sino naman kaya yun?. BIgla tuloy akong nacurios. So far kasi ay si Levian lang naman ang kilala kong related sa kanya.

“Sino naman?”

“Basta” He replied and wiggled his brows.

“Girlfriend mo?” I asked

He looked at me with confused face.

“Girlfriend? If I have one, I won’t flirt with you”

Nabilaukan naman ako sa sinabi niya. Can’t he see that we are in public place? “Ack- Who’s flirting who?”

“I am flirting you right?” He replied.

“Huh?”

He rolled his eyes at ininom ang Ice tea niya.

“Didn’t I say ‘I like you’?”

I averted my gaze. My, my. This is making me uncomfortable. I’m not used to talking about formal things.

Lately we had been going out more, but he never told me about anything related to his intentions. I’m liking it. We are going out like the best buddies in the world, no commitments, no expectations. And if this is what he call flirting, he is flirting alone. And him saying those words, I never really thought of it at serious. Kasi parang ang bilis naman ata?

He chuckled “Okay fine. I won’t open it up. But to clear your mind, wala akong girlfriend”

“So kanino mo nga ako dadalhin?”

“Basta. Masarap kausap yun. I think you’ll like her”

Tumango na lang ako at pinagpatuloy ang kinakain ko.

“Don’t get to excited of being with me” he added

Nginiwian ko na lang siya at pinagpatuloy ang pagkain ko.We stayed at the place for a few hours. Nagkwentuhan lang about random things. I enjoyed it. Kapag alam niyang hindi ako interesado o komportable ay papalitan niya ang topic. Ngayon ko lang nakita ang madaldal side niya. Lagi kasi siyang parang may hinahamon na away.

After talking about a lot of things, we decided na umuwi na. Nakakahiya na sa mga tinder dahil panay na ang tingin sa amin.

“So see you tomorrow? I’ll pick you up at 9 am?”

“Okay” I smiled.

He smiled back to me and looks at me directly into my eyes.

“What?” I asked after a seconds of silence at panay parin ang titig niya sa akin. It is really uncomfortable.

“I think its getting deeper, Amelie”

I looked at him with my confused face. “Ang alin?”

Lumapit siya sa saakin. And that short distance is making me nervous. Hindi ako makatingin ng maayos sakanya. Fck. What is this?

“My feelings, I think its getting deeper”

He lifted my chin up and again look directly into my eyes.

My heart beat fastly as he started to come much closer. Hindi ko alam kung lalabas na ba ang eyeballs ko sa sobrang lapit niya. Ang alam ko lang, hindi ako makagalaw because Karlwin’s presence is too much to handle. Whenever he is this close, parang nagwawala ang sistema ko at hindi ako makagalaw.

“Ho-Hoy! What do you think are you planning to do?” I said after I came to realization that he was an inch away from kissing me.

He chuckled and let go of my chin. “Good night Amelie” He said and caressed my cheek

“Nababaliw ka na.” I murmured

“I guess so.” He replied back.

With the pressure I’m feeling, nagpaalam na lang ako sakanya at tumakbo papasok.

“What the f**k?” I whispered to myself.

I put my hands into my chest which is pounding so hard. I knew this feeling. I know this too well. No matter how I deny it to myself, I’ll still end up with the idea that I am starting to like Karlwin Ace Rivarez.

When? We have been talking like for less than a month? I don’t know. I just feel different. Like, I am so happy when he is around. Naiinis ako kapag hindi niya ako kinocontact. And I am anticipating everything that will happen if nag aya siya ng lakad.

I am afraid I might like him even more. I don’t know him that much but my hearts beating differently for him.

I’m not like this. I don’t usually like someone I barely know. I like someone whom I had connection for a very long time. Yung kilala ko, yung matagal ko ng nakasama. But with him, konting detalye pa lang ng pagkatao niya, gusto ko na.

Fck it.