Mine Forevermore

Kabanata 13

Secret

Charlotte did horrible things before. Nalaman ko iyon after I saw her paying someone to cover up what she did before. She is the reason why Marcia and her boyfriend broke up. She made her friends believe that Dale, Martia’s ex-boyfriend had a woman but the truth was she just paid a woman to get Dale drunk that night which is why they were caught kissing inside a resto bar.

Iyon din ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw ko sa kanyang makipagkaibigan. I know na plastic siya but I don't know that she can do that to his own friend. I also don’t know what was her reason for doing that. Ang pumipigil lang naman sa akin na sabihin ang nangyari noon ay dahil ayaw kong makialam sa kanila at dahil nakita ko rin naman one-time na nambababae talaga si Dale. Pero iba parin talaga ang pakiramdam kung sarili mong kaibigan ay niloloko ka at sinisira ang relasyon mo sa iba.

But now, after kong malaman na sinisiraan din niya ako sa iba at mukhang may iba pa siyang binabalak sa akin, I decided to reveal everything so that she will finally come to her senses and pay for all the bullying she had done at our school. Lalo na ang paninira na ginawa niya sa akin. One mistake is enough. I thought she would change after what she did before, but it seems like she never felt guilty at all, it seems like it’s all nothing to her. It was all like a game to her. Kung hindi ako gagalaw ngayon ay baka kung ano pa ang magawa niya.

“Hi Nasia.” Bati niya sa akin isang araw.

“Hi.” Ngumiti ako na siyang ikinagulat niya. Sinulyapan ko si Sienna at Marcia sa tabi niya na bahagya ding nagulat ng ngitian ko sila.

But when I turned around, I lost my smile. Kung kaya niyang makipag plastikan. Puwes kaya ko din.

Nagbabasa ako ng text book pagdating ng huwebes para mag-review para sa huling final exam namin mamaya. But while I am doing that, I also heard some of my classmates busy talking about Althea Dela Vega's birthday party to be held tonight in Palawan. We’re not close, even when we we’re both in the same social circle. Everyone was invited though; I don’t think I can go since I’m busy with something. For sure, Daddy would have told me already that he would take me to Palawan for that party, pero naisip ko... when did the last time he took me to a party that involved the elites? Hindi kaylan man, except when I was young and Mommy was still there with us.

“Hoy Nerd!”

Napabaling ako sa pintuan ng marahas na tinawag ni Charlotte ang kaklase ko na laging naka suot ng eye glasses. She looks so furious when she approached my classmate. Naibaba ko ang binabasang libro sa nangyari at pinagmasdan sila.

“Huwag ka ngang feeling close kay Appolo! Tinulungan ka lang niya at wala iyong malisya, so stop acting like one!”

“I’m not Cha—”

“Anong I’m not! I just saw you flirting with Appolo. Akala mo naman magugustuhan ka sa ganyang itsura mo eh mukha ka ngang palaka.”

Nangunot ako sa sinabi ni Charlotte. May narinig pa ako na nagtawanan.

I looked at my girl classmate in amusement when she suddenly stood up. “Hindi naman talaga. The two of us were just talking. At bakit ba kung umasta ka ay parang girlfriend ka niya? I asked him earlier, he told me that you two are not a thing. That he’s just teaching you at wala iyong malisya. Ikaw nga itong feeling girlfriend kahit hindi naman kayo.”

Napangisi ako sa sinabi ng kaklase ko lalo na ng marinig ang tawanan at bulungan ng mga kakalse namin. I lost my smile after I saw Charlotte’s reaction. She’s fuming mad and was about to grab the girls hair, but she immediately backed away so she didn't reach her hair. Uulitin niya pa sana iyon pero sinaway ko na.

“Stop it!” Sabay naman silang napabaling sa akin. “Huwag kayong mag-away sa harapan ko.” I said coldly and frowned at them both. "If you won't, then feel free to leave!"

Charlotte immediately backed away but I could still see the irritation in her eyes. Muli niyang binalingan ang kaklase kong nerd.

“Atleast ako, close niya, eh ikaw, feeling close lang.” She fired back before she turned her backed and walked away. Her friends immediately follow her but my forehead furrowed when my eyes darted to Sienna and caught her looking at me.

Pinagtaasan ko siya ng kilay, pero umiwas din siya ng tingin at nagmamadaling sinundan si Charlotte.

Pagdating ng tanghalian ay pumunta ako sa paborito kong tambayan sa school.

Naglalakad ako sa may mga bench at lamesa ng nakahilera sa garden ng eskwelahan. Natigilan lang nga ng makita kung sino ang dalawang estudyante na nakaupo sa bench. My eyes glared at them. Charlotte’s chest is touching Appolo’s arm while Appolo didn’t mind and just continue explaining what was written on the book. Akala ko ba gusto niyang iwasan, eh bakit parang gustong gusto niya pang magkadikit silang dalawa?

Appolo turn to Charlotte beside him but his eyes went to me. He stood up quickly as if I coughed him in a crime. Well, sorry, I didn't know they were here. I thought they were at the library like the usual, but it turns out that this is their new place to hide for their secret rendezvous.

I turned my backed on them. Maybe I should start finding a new place to hang out. But then I cursed when I heard his voice and his quick footstep behind me, I almost jump in shocked when she held my arm.

“Where are you going? You supposed to eat your lunch." Aniya.

My eyes narrowed at him. How did he know? Kaya ba nanduon sila para ipakita sa akin ang paglalandian nila.

“No thanks. Nandiri ako bigla.”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Dinumihan niyo lang naman ang paborito kong lugar.” Aniya ko at hinaklit ang braso ko mula sa pagkakahawak niya.

“It’s not what you think. I’m just teaching her.” he said softly and stared at me using his pleading eyes.

“Teaching or flirting?”

His lips parted when I backfired him with the words he used to me before, when he saw me once flirting with my classmate. I just make a little revision of the word he used.

“Para patunayan sa akin kung gaano kana ka-gag*?" Dagdag ko.

Kita ko ang pagdaan ng kung anong galit sa kanyang mga mata. Nagtiimbagang siya pero bumuntong hininga din kalaunan at tinitigan ako.

“Please, don't say that. Let’s talk about our problem.” pakiusap niya ulit.

"We don't have anything to talk about, go back to your girlfriend and it seems like she's waiting for you." I said coldly.

“She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t have a girlfriend. Please, baby believe me.” He begged. Kita ang pagsusumamo sa kanyang mga mata.

My eyebrows twitched and my lips parted after hearing the endearment he used. Tila hinihele ako nuon para manlabot sa kanya, and it was effective. It really affects me that's why I get more mad to myself. Hindi dapat ako nagpapaapekto pero ano itong nararamdaman ko?

"No. Stay away from me, I told you, I don't want to see you again." I said firmly but my voice almost tremble.

"You know, that it's impossible, Nasia." Marahang aniya naruon na ang lungkot sa kanyang mga mata.

“Then make it possible—”

"No." he cut me off. I saw the storm in his eyes.

"Then I will make it possible!" I shouted annoyingly this time and quickly turned my back on him.

I don't know why I'm so annoyed with him. I had been annoyed when Henry and I fought back then, but it wasn't felt like this. My chest was heaving for some reason and I was having a trouble in breathing when I walked away. I don’t actually know what is happening to me. I don’t understand.

Umuwi ako sa bahay na hindi maintindihan ang aking nararamdaman. I felt like something is wrong with me but I couldn’t name it.

I sighed in the end and thought of taking a shower so I can clear my head. I was about to go to the bathroom to change my clothes but I heard a knock on my door.

"Bukas yan!" Sambit ko.

Agad ko namang nakita ang pagsilip ng mukha ni Nesa. Kita ko ang tuwa sa mukha niya ng tuluyan siyang pumasok. Nangunot ang noo ko sa reaksyon niya kaya mabilis akong tumayo para lapitan siya.

"Nesa, anong kaylangan mo?"

"Ma'am, pinapatawag po kayo ng daddy niyo sa study room niya." Natutuwang sambit niya.

Nagulat ako duon. My father never called me, and he never visited me in my room or even joined me at the dining table, kaya nakakapag taka kung bakit gusto niya akong ipatawag ngayon. Aaminin ko na bahagya akong na-excite sa sinabi niya pero hindi nawala ang kaba at takot sa akin.

"S-sige. Maliligo lang ako saka ako pupunta duon." Nakangiting sambit ko.

"Sige ma'am." Natutuwang aniya.

Hindi na ako nag-isip pa sa kung ano man ang dahilan niya. Masaya lang ako lalo na't ito ang unang pagkakataon na ipinatawag niya ako pagkatapos ng ilang taon.

Hindi na din ako nagpaligoy pa. I fixed myself and wear my new clothes before fixing my hair. When I was done, I left my room and went straight to his study.

Nakatayo na ako sa tapat ng pinto ng kanyang study room. Tinitigan ko ang doorknob at medyo kinabahan. Tumingin ako sa pasilyo kung nasaan si Nanang at Nesa. Tinanguan nila ako habang malaki ang ngiti sa akin, nasulyapan ko naman ang iba pang katulong na malapit sa grand staircase at nakatingin din sa akin. Siguro maging sila ay nagtataka kung bat ako ipinatawag ni Daddy. I smiled at them and looked back at the door. I raised my fist to knock.

"Come in!" Boses ni daddy sa loob.

I sighed heavily before I turn the doorknob and open it. I went in and saw him looking at his computer monitor. I turned around and slowly closed the door before slowly walking in front of his study table.

"Da-dad. Pinatawag niyo daw po ako." Kinakabahang sambit ko.

Unti-unti ay nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin. He was wearing his eye glasses as he watched me carefully. Bigla ay nailang ako ng sinulyapan niya ang kabuuan ko. He sighed and averted his eyes before turning his gaze to the monitor.

"How's your class? I heard you went to the sports complex and left your driver at your friend's house."

Napalunok ako. "Ah--dad. Gusto ko lang po sana na makasama ang kaibigan ko at parehas din naman kami ng pupuntahan kaya hindi na ako nag-abalang magpahatid kay Kuya Frank."

That pakialamero. Sinumbong talaga ako! I know na siya ang nagsumbong kay Daddy.

Bigla ay kinabahan ako pero imbis na pagalitan niya ay tumango lang siya.

"Tapos na ba ang finals niyo?" he asked calmly while looking at the papers.

"Yes, dad. Kakatapos lang po nung isang araw." sagot ko. Medyo nawala ang kaba ng hindi niya ako pinagalitan.

"Don't you have a problem in class?" He asked. I was a little bit surprised by his question. Hindi niya kaylan man ako kinumusta kaya namamangha ako sa mga sinasabi niya. He looked up at me when I didn't answer right away.

Mabilis akong tumayo ng tuwid sa tingin niya at mabilis din na sumagot. "Wala po, dad."

"Good then...I am planning to transfer you to a new school this next school year." Sambit niya na siyang ikinagulat ko.

What?

"Ba-bakit po, Dad?" Tanong ko dahilan para muli siyang mag-angat ng tingin sa akin. "I mean ... the school I'm going to now is better than the previous schools I went to. So why do you want me to transfer to a new school when I only have two years left before I graduate from high school." Nagtatakang tanong ko.

Nanatali siyang nakatitig sa akin. Hindi naman ako nagpa-awat. I also stared back at him. For what? Nasanay na ako sa school ko ngayon. This is where I have studied since I started high school. I didn't study there during my elementary days because I moved to the states after my parents separated, pero nagustuhan ko na ang school ko ngayon kahit pa maraming estudyante na hindi ko gusto. Kaya bakit? Why the sudden decision?

"It’s for your own good. Besides, I heard na marami kang nakakaway sa school mo ngayon. It's better for you to move to avoid the trouble."

Nanlamig ako sa sinabi niya. Bigla ay naisip ko na baka ikinakahiya niya ako ngayon dahil sa mga nakaaway ko. But then, hindi naman ako nakikipag away kung wala akong nakikitang mali. Hindi ako ang nagsisimula ng away kaya bakit ako ang kaylangang umalis sa school ko? I don't understand.

"I will hire some bodyguards for you too. It is not safe for you to walk alone freely especially since I have heard now that my business associates have received death threats." dagdag niya na mas lalong nagpalumo sa akin.

Dati na akong may bodyguards, natanggal lang dahil ayaw ko na may umaaligid sa akin. Tapos ngayon ibabalik niya.

"Yan lang ba ang sasabihin mo kaya mo ako pinatawag dito?" Wala sa sariling sambit ko. I became rude suddenly at hindi ko iyon napigilan.

I thought it was something special since this is the first time he called me here, at ngayon lang din kami nagkausap pagkatapos ng ilang taon. Pero bakit ganito? Bakit parang bad news pa ang ang mga sinabi niya.

I don't even feel the happiness now. The excitement and joy I felt slowly disappeared. I feel so disappointed.

"That's all. You may leave." Sambit niya pa na tila wala lang sa kanya ang pagiging rude ko.

It was as if I was just one of his employees who was called and told what to do that needs to follow his orders. He didn't even ask if everything he wants me to do was okay with me.

I did not speak. I just nodded and turned around. When I opened the door, Nanang, Nesa, and our other helpers were already on the side of the door. I knew they listened to what my father and I talked about because I caught their head and ears leaning on the door.

Nakita ko ang lungkot sa mga mata ni Nanang. Bago pa siya makapag salita ay humakbang na ako pagkatapos maisarado ang pinto at makita si Daddy na nakatitig muli sa kanyang monitor.

He only glanced at me a few times. He couldn't even stare at me for long. I couldn’t even see the delight in his eyes after seeing me. It’s as if I’m not important to him.

Ilang punyal ang tumama sa dibdib ko habang naglalakad pabalik sa aking kwarto. Tulala at malalim ang iniisip.

That weekend, I decided to shop. I feel so stressed so I want to go out for awhile. I invited my friend Abby to go with me, but she told me she was busy, kaya sa huli ay lumabas akong mag-isa.

Ngayon ko kaylangan ng kaibigan tapos ngayon siya wala? What the hell? Anong nangyayari sa mga tao sa paligid ko ngayon? Am I not that important, para baliwalain ako?

Napailing ako. I stop in front of a bookstore, and out of curiosity, I went in to look for a w*****d book or any kind of book novel I could buy and read of. Ngumiwi ako ng makita ang mga blurb sa likod ng libro. It’s kind of cheesy for me. I don’t know, I’m not really fond of this. Umiling ako at naisipan na lumabas nalang duon. But then, naisipan ko na bumili ng iilang sikat na w*****d book dito para gawing bait kay Abby. Ngumisi ako. That’s exactly what I did before I left the bookstore.

Next stop, I went inside the Dior store to buy some clothes. Nakasunod naman sa akin ang isang attendant habang namimili ako. Tahimik ako habang pinagmamasdan ang mga damit pero natigilan lang nga ng marinig ang bangayan ng pamilyar na boses.

“Ano bibilhan mo ba kami o hindi? Ito na oh, nakapili na kami. Ito ang gusto ko.”

“Cha, ano ka ba, ang dami na nating ipinamili. Tayo na lang ang bumili nito. Isa pa, si Sienna and naunang pumili niyan. Give it to her. Let's just ask the attendant if they have some stock of the clothes you want.” Si Marcia.

“Bakit ba kinakampihan mo ang sinungaling na iyan Marcia? Sino ba talaga ang kaibigan mo sa aming dalawa?” reklamo ni Charlotte.

Nangunot ang noo ko at gumilid saka sumilip sa kabilang banda nitong pinagpipilian ko ng damit.

“Cha, I’m not taking sides here, I was just saying that this is too much. Si Sienna na lahat ang bumili ng mga pinamili natin. Let her buy her own thing and choose what she wants.” Marcia defended.

“Fine. Sa’yo na yan, ako narin ang magbabayad nito, pero huwag kang aasa na hindi makakarating kay Nasia ang sikreto mo.” Si Charlotte.

“Cha!” Saway ni Marcia.

My forehead furrowed at what she said. What do they mean by that?

"I'm sorry Cha, I will buy that for you, you can have this one too, just please... don't do it." Sienna said in a trembling voice.

“Ma’am, we have new arrive clothes from Dior in France. It’s inside the exclusive room. If you want, you can access to it.” The lady next to me said reason why they all to turn to us.

My forehead furrowed when I hear Marcia cursed, while Charlotte smirk at me and glanced at Sienna, Sienna then looks so scared and shock.

“Bakit? Anong sikreto ang dapat kong malaman?” I asked coldly.