Mine Forevermore

Kabanata 12

I Think She Dislike You

After my last confrontation with Appolo, I went on a run around the city of BGC. I spend much time thinking of so many things, my relationship with Appolo, with Henry and his ex girlfriend. Thinking on how I end up on that situation.

Kahit ganuon ang ginawa sa akin ni Henry ay hindi ako nagtanim ng sama ng loob sa babae niya. Because I knew in myself that he doesn't knew about my relationship with Henry back then. So, every time we saw each other, tumitingin lang ako sa kanya. I don't glare or smile, just a normal look. Ganun din siya sa akin, though minsan nagmamadali siyang umalis sa tuwing nakikita ako. I sense that she's a bit shy or a little bit afraid of me, maybe it's because of our last confrontation.

Pakiramdam ko nga ay parang naka move on na ako sa nangyari. I overreact when we broke up and I even cause a scene. Maybe because I can't think straight anymore that time, nakalimutan ko na may mga nakatingin, nagpadala ako sa emosyon, because I know that I fell for Henry and it’s too late for me to realize it, but it's not that deep. Kasi kung oo, baka ako pa ang naghabol kahit na niloko niya ako. Pero naisip ko, kung hindi siguro niya ako niloko baka hinabol ko ngang talaga siya.

Now I know why I cry and feel so hurt that day. It's because I lost a boyfriend and a friend at the same time, and worst I have been betrayed. That was not easy for me because we had been together for so long. I'm used to always being with him. I then realize that...when a person has become a part of our life, and have been with them for a long time, or they have become special to us… it will be hard for us to forget them.

I thought, I can't do anything about it. I just have to move forward and continue with my life even if he's not with me anymore. Its just sad to think that not everyone around us will choose to stay forever. Time will come, when we also need to separate with the people we love or that became a part of our life, and choose to focus more on ourselves.

Lumipas ang mga araw at nagpatuloy ang pag-iwas ko kay Appolo. Hindi maiwasan na hindi ko siya makita lalo na't nasa iisang school lang naman kaming dalawa. Henry also stops stalking me. I haven't seen him in the past few days either. But then I see his ex-girlfriend. Kakatapos lang ng aming finals sa araw na iyon, so I guess clearance nalang ang aasikasuhin. Malapit na din ang summer break kaya magkakaroon din ako ng pagkakataon para magbakasyon.

Natigilan ako ng makalabas ng classroom at makita kung sino ang naghihintay sa akin sa labas ng corridor. Nag-angat siya ng tingin at deretso ang tingin sa akin kaya alam ko na ako ang dahilan kung bakit siya nandito.

"Stacey... anong ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong ko.

"Can we talk?" Aniya.

I sighed bago inilahad ang daan sa kabilang corridor kung saan wala masyadong yao. "Dito tayo." Sagot ko.

Nauna akong naglakad, habang naramdaman ko naman ang pagsunod niya sa akin. Tumigil ako ng makita na tahimik na sa corridor at wala ng masyadong tao.

"What is it?" I asked when I turned around to face her.

"Sorry sa pagsugod ko sayo nung isang araw. Nadamay pa kita sa galit ko. I was just so mad and confused. Henry was so kind to me, he's a gentleman, he's happy to be with. So, I didn't thought he would fool me especially since he's my first boyfriend.” paliwanag niya.

Tinitigan ko siya at kita ko ang pagpapakatotoo niya ngayon. Well, I guess she wants to open up to me. I sighed at naisip na magpakatotoo nalang din.

"He's also my first boyfriend, Stacey. Though, I can't blame you. Even if we always fight, we mostly cursed each other and broke up many times. I still saw his gentle side...Deep inside he cares for you." Sagot ko.

"You broke up many times?" The shocked was evident in her eyes.

I nodded and smile. "Yes, dahil hindi kami magkasundo sa maraming bagay pero…tumagal kaming dalawa ng ilang taon, because somehow we're happy with each others company. I guess our friendship help us two to last that long…though, hindi yun naging sapat. A relationship who always fight is not a healthy relationship at all, sometimes it's a toxic relationship. Siguro nagsawa na siya sa away naming dalawa, at sa pagiging malapit ko sa mga lalaki habang kami pa. I guess… I did cheat too, many times…because even were in a relationship, I still entertain other men... Akala ko nga babalikan niya ako, katulad ng dati. But then I guess he fall for you that's why." Natatawang sambit ko.

Napakurap kurap siya na tila hindi inaasahan na maririnig ito sa akin. Ngayon ko lang din ito narealize. Maybe, somehow, I cheated too kasi minsan I flirted with some boys. Hindi man katulad ng iba na dated secretly but still, you’re not faithful enough if you flirt with any other men. Siguro nga karma ko ito. Kasalanan ko din, kaya ako iniwan.

"I admit. Naging kami na wala akong nararamdaman para sa kanya. I just want to know what it feels to have a boyfriend, kaya naging kami. Pero habang tumatagal, hindi ko alam na nahuhulog na ako sa kanya but it's too late now kasi bago ko pa maamin, hiniwalayan niya na ako." sambit ko.

Her lips parted. I smirked ng makita ang pagkamangha sa mukha niya.

I chuckled. "So, ano pang sasabihin mo? Mas marami pa akong nasabi sa'yo."

Napalunok siya at sa huli ay bumuntong hininga. "I'm going to transfer to my old school after our graduation. Naisip ko na sana pala hindi nalang ako lumipat dito."

Nangunot ang noo ko. "What do you mean?"

"Hindi kasi ako dito nag-aaral. If you notice I didn't know that you two are lovers. Kung dito ako nag-aaral, malamang alam ko na kayo. Hindi ko sana sinagot si Henry. I just transferred here last sem because Henry was studying here, hindi rin mahirap lumipat dahil sister school naman ng CIS and dating school ko, but then we already broke up so I decided to come back to my old school. Besides, my friends are there, they missed me."

Natawa ako sa sinabi niya. "You did that?! Oh girl, your so dense!"

Ngumiwi siya ng marinig ang sinabi ko.

"I'm sorry. I'm just like this. I'm sorry for being rude. But then you shouldn't have done that. You can transfer here after you graduate. You really didn't finish the last sem before you moved here just to be with him? You love him that much, huh?" Hindi makapaniwalang sambit ko.

I probably wouldn't do that thing. I mean, I think I can date someone even if where not in the same school. Pero hindi ako lilipat ng school dahil lang duon nag-aaral ang boyfriend ko.

She sighed and shook her head. "I just want to apologize, bago matapos ang school year."

I nodded and bit my lip. "It's okay, I understand you though. You really don't have to say sorry."

Tumango siya at ngumiti na ngayon. "Akala ko totoo yung sinasabi nila tungkol sayo. Na masama daw ang ugali mo. Someone even told me that I was better than you." Nahihiyang sambit niya. "And that, kaya ka daw hiniwalayan ni Henry dahil… malandi ka daw." Nangunot ang noo niya at parang nag-aalinlangan pang sabihin sa akin.

Halos mapasingahap ako sa sinabi niya. Nangunot din ang noo ko.

"I'm sorry for the word. I then realize that I shouldn't believe them. Yes, I noticed that youre a bit rude, but you're not that bad at all." Ngumiti siya sa akin pero nawala ang ngiti niya ng tiningnan ko lang siya habang nakakunot ang noo ko.

"I-I'm sorry. I just want you to know that there are people out there who talked bad behind your back."

My forehead furrowed. "Who said that?"

Kita ko ang kaba sa kanyang mukha. "I'm sorry. Are you mad at me? Please don't. I didn't mean to make you upset--" Aniya.

"I'm not upset. I'm just curious kung sino ang nagsabi niyan sa'yo."

Nangunot ang noo niya at tila may inaalala. "Nakita ko sila dati na kausap mo sa cafeteria. I'm just worried for you because I thought they were your friends." She said and turned to me. "I think ... I saw them in your classroom a while ago."

Mas lalo akong naging interesado na malaman. Alam ko na takot sa akin ang mga kaklase ko at alam ko din na para sa kanila ay masama ang ugali ko, pero hindi ko alam na may kaklase ako na kayang sabihin iyon sa akin patalikod at higit sa lahat sinabi pa sa kanya. What is their intention though? Why would they tell her about it?

Kung sino man siya. I have a feeling na sinisiraan niya ako sa kanya. Para mas lalo siyang magalit sa akin o para mas mag mukha akong masama sa paningin niya.

"I saw her too with Appolo. And I think sila ni Appolo. I'm not sure, pero para kasing girlfriend ni Appolo. Yun din yung reason kaya kita sinugod coz I feel pressure after she made me feel that I’m like a nobody to Henry, that I’m just like his girl toy."

Mas lalong nagsalubong ang kilay ko. "Walang girlfriend si Appolo."

"Oh, okay. Maybe I'm wrong. But I'm sure she's always with Appolo and I also saw them in the library studying together. I just forgot her name but I know her face."

Umawang ang labi ko ng napagtanto kung sino ang tinutukoy niya. Classmate ko, tapos kasama si Appolo habang nag-aaral, tapos laging kasama si Appolo. Hindi kaya…

"Si Charlotte ba?" I asked using my gritted teeth.

"Yes, yes, it's her." Aniya.

"She's not my friend. Hindi kaylan man naging kaibigan." Malamig na sambit ko.

"Oh, I just thought. Anyway, I don't like her even though she was on my side that day. And I don’t get her too kasi after that day, bigla nalang niyang sinabi na pinaglalaruan lang din ako ni Henry. Parang sinisiraan ka niya sa akin at gusto din niya akong saktan at the same time. Nag-aalala lang ako because I had a bad feeling for her." Nakakunot na sambit niya.

Tumango ako at lumalim ang iniisip. I know she’s a two-face b***h, but I never thought she could do this to me. She wants to be friends with me but I always reject her. Gumaganti ba siya ngayon dahil hindi ko tinatanggap ang alok niyang makipag kaibigan? How pathetic. So ngayon kinakalaban niya din ako dahil hindi niya nakuha ang gusto niya sa akin?

Napalunok siya. "I just want to make up for what I did. Just be careful with her. I think she dislike you."

Tumango ako at bumuntong hininga. "Thanks for reminding me about her. At hindi mo kaylangang bumawi. I'm fine and I think it's better for you to leave than being here. Charlotte is a b***h; she rather bullies you or be friends with you so she can get the fame and power."

Tumango siya at nangunot ang noo. "I think so too. I been watching her for days, and I saw her bullying her friends. Medyo nagtaka din ako kung bakit pati ang sarili niyang kaibigan ay bi-nu-bully niya.”

“They're not her true friends, if they are, she wouldn’t have done that in the first place. It's all for show. I've seen it before." Banggit ko ng maalala ang ginawa niyang pambu-bully kay Sienna noon.

Tumango naman siya.

“And about Henry...”

She immediately looks back at me when I mention Henry's name. She looks so interested so I laughed. I saw her blush.

"That kind of love you are talking about. I think it's serious. If it's good for you to go back to your old school, then go for it. I won't stop you. Besides what rights do I have to stop you. We're not even friends.” Sambit ko.

Tinitigan niya ako ng ilang sandali bago nagsalita. "I think your wrong about Henry not liking you. I think he likes you too. Hindi mo lang iyon nakita."

Natawa ako at umiling. Paano niya naman nasabi yan?

"Thank you for opening my mind, and telling me my worth. Hopefully, the next time we meet, in a different time and circumstances, maging magkaibigan na tayo." Aniya.

I grinned and nodded. "Let's see about that."

That was the last conversation I had with Stacey. Medyo gumaan din ang pakiramdam ko pagkatapos naming mag-usap. Though… tumatak sa isipan ko ang mga sinabi niya. Lalo na ang tungkol kay Charlotte.

Maybe, this is the right time for me to make a move. Especially since she has caused so much trouble here in our school for several years and yet he has not even been punished. And now she has wrong me. She talked behind my back, and even ruined my name to other people. Don't expect me to let it passed.

Pagkapasok sa sasakyan ay tinitigan ko ang aking phone. Nakakunot ang noo ko habang tinitingnan ang profile ni Charlotte. I also saw some post and pictures. The recent post was a picture of her with her friends inside a resto bar. I continue to scroll down. I saw some share pictures and videos. Then, I stop when I saw something that got my attention.

I read her caption: "What a shame! Pagkatapos sa isa, maghahanap agad ng iba. And worst kaka break lang nila ng ex niya. Where's your shame girl? Ano yan, rebound?" I scrolled down and I find a caption again for an unfamiliar picture. "Ang yabang! akala mo sobrang ganda kung makapag salita ng cheater, akala mo hindi din siya nag-cheat. Kapal!"

Tugma lahat ng share pictures at video sa mga sinasabi niya sa caption, but why do I feel na may pinapatamaan siya? At bakit puro negative ang mga sini-share niya, ganun din ang mga comments niya?

I read the next caption: "May ibang babae talaga na kahit may boyfriend na, naghahanap pa din ng iba." It was her caption and a shares picture of a girl cheating her boyfriend below her caption.

I bit my lip when I read the comments: Woah, who is that, Cha? ... Magtaka ka pa, maraming ahas ngayon... Hindi na uso ang loyal, once a cheater always a cheater... Gusto siguro na maraming ulam... Ayaw ng isa, gusto dalawa... Two timer bitch... Dapat diyan pinaglalaruan, para maranasan din niya ang feeling kung paano lokohin.

Some even posted emoticons with vomiting, anger, and annoyed faces. But then, my forehead furrowed when I saw a picture with her taking a selfie, while Appolo was behind her back, busy scribbling on a paper. It was posted weeks ago. There is also a caption: Me and my Handsome Tutor.

Umirap ako. I scroll down to her next post. It was Appolo looking serious behind her back while looking at the camera, and Charlotte was in front of him. Taking a selfie with them both. They're so close with each other na mapagkakamalan mo na na may something sa kanila.

I clicked the comment below and read some of the comments... “So sweet, bagay kayo”... “Inggit ako, sana all may jowa”...”Pahinge naman ng isang Appolo Lorenzana”...”Ako din, magpapatutor”...”Uy yung totoo? Kayo na?”... “You two look good together”...”Wow, new couple, ChaPolo!”

ChaPolo? Yuck.

I gritted my teeth while typing my own comment: “Edi Kayo na....”

I bit my lip and deleted it when I notice that it sounds so bitter, and type…”Gwapo nga, asshole naman…”

Halos matawa ako sa sariling tinipa, it sounds I had a bad blood with him. Pinalitan ko nalang iyon ng… “Pangalan ng tutor mo, tunog aso.”

I chuckled but then I gritted my teeth to delete it again and change it into...”Ang sakit niyo sa mata.”

"Bwisit." mahinang angil ko pagkatapos burahin iyon.

Imbis na pagtuunan iyon ng pansin ay tinawagan ko nalang ang numero ng isang tao na naging kalaban ko noon ngunit naging kaibigan ko din kalaunan.

“Hey Baby! Whats up! Bakit ngayon ka lang tumawag?” He laughed on the other line.

Umirap ako sa tawag niya sa akin. “I told you not to call me that. Call me that one more time and I will never call you again." Banta ko.

“Oh? Really? You can't resist my charm though.” bumingisngis siya sa kabilang linya.

Umirap ako. "Really? Then I should cut the call now." sambit ko at ambang ibaba ang tawag.

"Wait!"

I grinned and put my phone back to my ear.

“Anong kaylangan mo?” tanong niya.

“I need your service.” Seryosong sambit ko.

"Oh girl! I told you I don’t do free service anymore.” Aniya.

"Who said it's free?" Tumaas ang kilay ko.

Natahimik siya ng ilang saglit bago nagsalita. “How much is it?”

Ngumisi ako. “Name your price.” I said then look at my driver na nagtatakang nakatingin sa akin. Pinagtaasan ko siya ng kilay. Mabilis naman siyang umiwas ng tingin.

“Okay! Let’s do it then!” He exclaimed. “Tell me...anong gusto mong gawin ko?”

Hindi ko man siya nakikita ngayon ay alam Ko nang nakangisi siya.

“I’ll email you the details later. Bye!—”

"Wait! Can we talk about the details in person?" putol niya sa akin.

My eyebrows met and my gaze deepened outside the window. "Sorry, what? I think, it would be better if I should give the job to someone else--"

“Fine! Fine! Later then.”

Ngumisi ako. “Good.” Narinig ko ang reklamo niya pero mabilis ko ng pinutol ang tawag.

Now, you’ll going to pay for it. This time...you’ll have no chance to escape. I'll make sure of that.