The pain he never knew (Book 1)

17

Chapter 17

I was working with my unfinished portfolio when i heard my tummy rumble. It's as if it was telling me to stop working and grab something to eat. At yon nga ang ginawa ko. I stretched out my back before standing up.

Dinampot ko ang aking cellphone na kanina pa hindi nabubuksan dahil wala namang nagme message o ano. Dahil sa naiisip ay awtomatiko akong napasimangot.

Nasan na kaya yung lalaking yon? Kanina pa hindi nagpaparamdam.

I head to the fridge and i saw one of our maid readying something.

"Wow! Para po ba sa'kin yan?" i inquired. Agad naman siyang napatingin sa akin na tila nagulat pa na bumaba pala ako.

"Ah-eh..hindi po ma'am. Pero kung gusto niyo, gagawan po kita ng meryenda" aniya sa mahina at nahihiyang boses.

Kumunot ang noo ko.

"Eh para kanino pala yan? Kay dad? he's on a strict diet manang" i reminded nang makitang marami ang nakalagay sa tray niyang hawak.

"Opo. Sa daddy niyo..at saka dun sa mga kasama niya.."

I tilted my head sideways.

"Sino?" may bisita pala siya? "Sa study?"

"Opo. Hindi ko kilala eh. Pero isang binata at isang medyo kaedad niya. Sa pagkakatanda ko nakapunta na dito noon"

A wide smile formed on my lips when i thought of the possibilty nga baka si kage at ang dad niya nga iyon.

"Halika manang, sasamahan kita!" I enthusiastically said at inakay na siya pataas.

"Mauna ka nang pumasok" utos ko nang makarating kami sa pintuan. I decided to eavesdrop na lang muna. Naisip ko kasi na baka may importante silang dini-discuss since pumunta pa talaga ang mag-ama dito.

Wait! Is it about our wedding? Baka nga! They will either postpone or rush it. The thought of the latter made me excited. I didn't thought of this noon pero i was starting to imagine myself waking down the aisle and kage at the other end. Me wearing this glamorous wedding dress and me moving in on kage's condo. Sheez! I wanna squeal sa naiisip.

Tuluyan na ngang nakapasok ang kasambahay dala-dala ang tray ng pagkain. I stepped closer para marinig ang pag-uusap nila since pinanatiling bukas nung kasambahay yung pintuan.

I couldn't clearly hear what they were discussing but i can tell that it was something serious. Based on the firmness and formality on their voices.

"—i'm worried of her safety too tito. I'm her fiancé and it's also my job to keep her safe. I got everything under control."

"My son is doing his best to assure her safety eduardo. He's been with her almost everyday. Ni halos araw-araw ay nakabuntot na yan sa anak mo. And you know that he also hired some men, they are professionals and well-trained. You don't have to worry"

I heard daddy's heavy sigh.

"I'm not saying that I don't trust the capability of your son nor his men alfonso. I'm just worried since.. it's been months nang huling umatake ang mga 'yon. Who knows that they are planning something big! Silence doesn't guarantee na sumuko na sila. Natatakot ako kaligtasan ng anak ko. Ayokong maulit sa kaniya ang nangyari sa asawa ko."

So this isn't about the wedding? It's about me being in danger again? My smile dropped.

"Kung sa tingin mo hindi sapat ang apat na lalaki, we could always hire more. Let's say 6?"si tito.

Napaawang ang mga labi ko. Imagining myself walking around the school campus with 10 guards behind me feels humiliating! I cannot! Hell no! At kahit hindi naman sila magpapakita, nakaka conscious pa din iyon!

"She wouldn't want that"

Nakaramdam ako ng pag-asa nang mag-apila si kage.

"She finds it burdensome being seen with four men, sampu pa kaya? She wouldn't agree. I do too."

"This isn't about her preference kage this is about her safety! God dammit! Can you stop spoiling her and start thinking rationally!?" His dad shouted. I did not understand him. He is so short-tempered! Kage was just saying facts!

"She's.my.wife—and i will decide what's best for her." Kalmado pero may diin sa tono nito.

"She's not your wife yet! Wag kang magpakampante." His dad smeared.

"What are you saying old man? Na nasaiyo ang desisyon wether or not na magpapakasal kami?"

His father didn't expect what kage called him. Neither do i. Napaawang ang mga labi ko.

"What did you just called me?! Old man?! I am your father kage! wether you like it or not matuto kang respetuhin ako! Wala ka pang napapatunayan kaya wag kang mayabang!"

"Kayong mag-ama, tigilan niyo na nga iya—"

"Believe me old man, i can pursue our wedding without your blessing. We can live peacefully without your f*****g money! Unfortunately, i still consider you as my father dahil kung hindi ay hindi na sana kita iimbitahan pa si mismong kasal ko. And In fact you should be thankful, I just gave you a favor by accepting your damn company!"

"Aba't—"

"Alfonso!" Nagsimula nang pumagitna si dad kaya nag-aalala ako na baka masyadong mai-stress naman siya.

"Tumigil na nga kayo! Both of you, stop it!" I stepped out and walked towards them three. Napabaling sila sa akin. "I'm sorry for the shouting pero kung mag-aaway kayong mag-ama please lang, wag dito! My father is sick and he might get severely stressed and hospitalized again dahil sainyo!" I shouted at them. Sa oras na yon ay tila hindi ako naintimidate sa mga titig nila.

"Dad, are you okay? Is your breathing fine?" Baling ko kay daddy.

"I'm okay princess. Okay na din iyon, atleast pinagpawisan ako ng bahagya." He wiped the imaginary sweat on his forehead then chuckled.

I then diverted my attention to kage. I glared at him at humalukipkip.

"Come with me" i said strictly bago tumalikod.

"But hija, we're still discussing about something" it was tito alfonso, I rolled my eyes without them knowing dahil nga nakatalikod ako. Nakahalukipkip pa din na tumigil ako sa paglalakad na nagpa tahimik sa kanila.

"Kage" ani ko na hindi lumilingon.

"I'm coming" narinig ko na nga ang yabag niya kaya lumabas na ako ng tuluyan. "Dad just..stop talking" narinig ko pang sabi ni kage sa daddy niya. It made me chuckle in a serious mood.

"Hindi ka nagmessage sakin buong araw tapos makikita na lang kita dito mismo sa pamamahay namin na nakipagdebate sa daddy mo? Ano yun?"

Tiningala ko siya ng makapasok na kami sa kwarto ko.

"I didn't know that it would turn out that way. Pormal naman kaming nagsimula ng usapan"

"It's because bigla-bigla mo na lang pinapalabas yang diin sa boses mo na tila walang magpapabago ng desisyon mo! He's your father and i think that you just hurt his ego knowing that his son is more authoritative than him"

Tumungo siya sa higaan ko at umupo doon. He then pulled me by the hand at nagpaakay naman ako. He make me sit on his lap making my lips rose secretly.He then grabbed my hand and started playing with my fingers.

"Someone has to. Hindi siya sanay na may sumasabat sa kaniya kaya ganiyan na lang siya kung umasta na akala mo ay pag-aari niya ang buong mundo. I shouldn't let him go around like that. He should start to see me as his son at hindi empleyado niya na kahit anong oras ay pwede niyang utus-utusan."

I stared at his face and his eyes was furrowing in frustration. His ticklish movements on my fingers were saying otherwise, it was soft and caring.

"What happened?" I said softly after kissing him lightly on the cheeks.

"What do you mean?"

"The story. Sa likod na kung bakit ganon na lamang ang sama ng loob mo sa daddy mo"

His corner lips rose like he remembered something worth mocking for. He then shook his head sideways.

"No, I don't wanna come out gay and dramatic"

"Come on, tell me." I pouted. "I'm your wife"

What I've said made him look at me. "You heard that huh? You've been eavesdropping?"

"A little" i chuckled.

"So you're not just my crybaby and sumbongera. You're also a chismosa?"

Gosh! I laughed loudly. I can't with his conyo statements!

"Magkwento ka na kasi! Mamaya mo na ko landiin!"

He just chuckled lowly then kissed me again on my pouted lips. Is my lips a daily vitamin or something? Why does he loves kissing me? Oh well! Ako din naman eh.

He just stared at me for a long time at hindi na nagsalita. Sumama ang mukha ko at aakmang aalis sa pagkakaupo sa kandungan niya nang hilahin niya ako pabalik.

"Bakit ba ang pikon ng asawa ko?" His question made me blush. Bakit ba kung harap-harapan niyang sabihin ay tila may kung anong nararamdaman ako sa loob ng tiyan ko? I can't help but bite my tongue to prevent myself from smiling widely.

"Asawa? Saan?" Luminga linga ako kunwari may hinahanap. Bigla niyang tinaas ang kaliwang kamay ko at nagmamalaking tiningnan ako.

"Here" he said eyes on the ring the he gave me. Kunwari Malditang tinaasan ko siya ng kilay at saka humalukipkip.

"There she is" he laughed one last time before the grin faded. "I've had a rough childhood because of him. Hindi nga ata iyon matatawag na childhood eh. You know kids were supposed to have fun, play, be care-free and just innocent. Me, I didn't get to experience those."

"What happened?"

"When i was a kid, i usually do kids stuff like going out of the house, play with the other kids, have fun, get sweaty here and there. Pero siya, hindi niya ako pinapayagan, he said playing are only for children, I'm a man and i should act like one. He trains me like how a man should be ready in a battlefield. How to properly hold a gun, shoot a dagger, punch with brass knuckles." His lips rose mockingly. "Pero syempre dahil bata pa ako nun, i tend to believe that he's only doing that for my safety. And whenever i feel like playing with the other kids, tumatakas ako which only happened once dahil hindi na ako umulit."

"You got caught?"

"I did"

"Anong ginawa niya?" Madilim kong tanong.

"He whipped me with a belt buckle. You know, the metal thingy? In here" turo niya sa tuhod niya. "He accidentally hit me there kaya ilang araw akong hindi nakalakad ng maayos." He said like it wasn't a big deal. I on the other hand, gasped in horror.

I was shocked...really, how can a father do such thing? Raise a fist—no! A metal f*****g buckle on his son! How monstrous! Never in my whole existence na pinag buhatan ako ng kamay ng daddy. He believes that hurting your child will only lead to him/her adapting it. So unfortunately, lalaki yung bata knowing na lahat madadaan in rougher terms!

"Paano mo natitiis yon? Wait! Does your mother knows?"

"My mom wasn't home when he first hit me. But when she asked about the bruise, he just reasoned out that i fell from the stairs" he chuckled coldly, i can feel the bitterness on his voice. "At sa ilalim naman kami ng basement nag tetraining kaya hindi kami nakikita. Mom just knew years nang lumaki na 'ko."

I looked at him with pity. I couldn't bear living in a house with a man who made my childhood rough. Paano niya kaya natitiis yon? Pero syempre naisip ko din na wala naman siyang choice, he just gotta live with it 'till he's old enough to afford his own home.

"Now i understand na kung bakit ka umalis doon. Akala ko nga trip mo lang eh, i mean, ang laki-laki kaya ng bahay niyo compared sa amin. At mukhang hindi pa boring."

"Siguro napuno na din ako kaya umalis na ako doon."

"Ano na namang ginawa niya sayo?"

"You know I never wanted his company, i never had an interest in it."

"Then what are you interested in?" I suddenly got curious. Oo nga pala, hindi ko pa iyon natatanong sa kaniya

"Medical field, anything health-related."

Tumango-tango ako at gumawa ng tunog na tila nahihiwagaan.

"So you want to be a doctor?"

Tinaas niya ang kamay niya at ininpit ang buhok sa likod ng aking tenga.

"A chemist baby" he corrected, "I want to have my own company someday, chains of pharmaceuticals"

"So you're like smart, smart? Ang intimidating mo naman pala."

He smiled widely like he found something cute on my face.

"I read books." He filtered.

"Matalino ka nga" tango-tango ko. "I never liked books to be honest, kaya nga fashion designing kinuha ko eh. I'm more into that. Soo..can you continue yung kwento mo kanina? Na kung bakit ka lumipat"

"We fight a lot, we usually get into a heated argument like almost everyday simula nung sinabi ko sa kaniya na hindi ko tatanggapin ang pinaghirapan niyang kumpanya. But the main reason na talagang nag-ubos ng pasensya ko is nung umuwi ako at natagpuan ko ang mga librong pang medikal ko sa incinerator bin. All was left were ashes. Maybe he went inside my room and emptied my shelf. Oo, pwede din naman akong bumili ng bago but i find his action severely disrespectful. That's when i decided to pack up and leave"

Tama nga naman ang ginawa niya, if i were to be placed on his shoe, having a intolerable father, talagang aalis din ako sa poder niya. Sadyang swerte lang ako dahil hindi parehas sa kaniya ang daddy.

Wala na akong masabi so i just hummed while tracing his ears to his jawline.

"I have a question" i said after a long silence.

"What is it?"

"Kung kasal na tayo at saka-sakaling mag-away tayo like super malalang away, na talagang aabot sa point na magsisigawan tayo, aalis ka din ba? Iiwan mo ba ako?" I stopped what i was doing to him and stared directly at his brooding eyes.

"Bakit mo naman natanong yan?" His eyes became hooded and eyebrows furrowed like i asked him a ridiculous question.

"Sagutin mo na lang kasi!"

"I won't. I won't zy, you get me?" He clarified. "Hindi ako aalis. Hindi kita iiwan. Magkaiba kayo ng dad ko. I won't give up on you. I know i can tolerate you. I will, 'cause I don't want to lose you baby. I can't"

Napalunok ako sa sinabi niya. I was just inquiring, why does he have to be this serious? He's making my heart flutter, isn't he aware!?

"Okay, hindi din naman kita aawayin eh." I shifted awkwardly on his lap. "Hindi ka ba nabibigatan sa akin?"

He just shook his head and the atmosphere became silent again.

"Soo...pharmaceuticals? Hindi ba magiging mahirap iyon saiyo?" Pagshi shift ko ng topic.

"Of course it will. Hindi biro ang magtayo ng sariling pangalan. Now that I'm still not knowledgeable enough to run a company. But actually, nagsisimula na ako, i'm searching for some business partners that can help me in this one but I'm still nit sure if i should pursue it, my dad that is. Why do you think na nagiging busy ako this past few months?"

"I don't know 'bout you, baka nangbambabae ka na naman" i crossed my arms at inirapan siya. He laughed loudly at that.

"Hindi pa ba tayo tapos diyan? I'm a changed man now. Takot ko lang sayo" he pinched my cheeks.

"Aba! Dapat lang!" Ipapamulto kita sa mommy ko pagnagkataon!