THE PLAY PRETEND

You

I opened my closet to choose an outfit for today. Hindi sinabi ni Felix kung saan kami pupunta kaya mainam siguro kung maging kaswal lang ako. I ran my fingers to these clothes hanged on a rack ang then I decided to pick a jeans and a white puffed-sleeves cropped top.

Mabilis akong nagbihis at nag-ayos. I unwrapped the towel in my hair and blow dried it. Nag-apply ng kaunting make-up products at nagspray ng perfume and I'm done.

Bumaba ako ng hagdan at nagpasyang maghintay sa sala. Ala una na ng hapon. We decided to have a late lunch instead.

Felix is not here yet.

Kaninang umaga ay mas nauna siyang magising kaysa sa akin. I woke up when he moved a little. But he told me to sleep more. Before I dozed off again, narinig ko ang paalam niyang uuwi muna siya sa kanila.

When I woke up, I saw a note in my side table saying:

*I'll be back. Let's have a late lunch? See you later. Love you.*

That one simple note had me humming and leaping all morning.

While waiting for Felix to arrive, I decided to call my parents via video call. It only took three rings before they answered.

Busangot na mukha ni papa ang bumungad sa akin.

"Nasaan na 'yung boyfriend mo? Aba hindi na bumalik dito hindi pa kami nagkaka-usap ng matino non, ah?" aniya.

Napailing na lang ako dahil dito.

"I miss you, too. Where's mama?"

"I'm here..." I heard her somewhere in the background but she can't be seen onscreen.

"She's testing her recipe of pineapple pie," sabi ni papa "Medyo mahina kasi ngayon ang bentahan ng pinya sa merkado kaya nag-iisip kami ng paraan kung paano mabebenta ang mga produkto."

My father got my attention with that. It's only natural na may mga ups and lows sa agriculture but it was my first time to hear crisis like this.

"Tapos saan po ibebenta?"

"We'll distribute it in the local stores. I guess. Sa mga suki rin natin."

"Honestly, I would like to try baking, anak. But I'm afraid walang katuwang ang papa mo sa pagmonitor ng mga products. A bake shop would require me to spend much time."

Mama loves cooking and baking. So I think the idea would really suit her. Pero oo nga, tama siya. Walang katuwang ang papa sa farm.

She finally showed up on the screen while holding a plate of freshly baked pie.

"It's a shame I was not there. I would like to try some of that..." naiinggit kong sabi.

Papa teased me by taking a big bite. Pero pareho naming pinagtawanan siya ni mama nang agad niya rin itong niluwa dahil mainit pa.

"When are you coming back pala? Do you not have work today? Himala at nakatawag ka ng ganitong oras a?" mama asked curiously.

Natigilan ako. Hindi ko pa nasasabi sa kanila na umalis ako sa trabaho.

"Uh, soon, I guess? I will be planning our trip overseas the moment na makauwi ako. Where do you wanna go mama, papa?" pag-iiba ko ng usapan.

Napa-isip si mama. "Hmm... I don't have places in mind. But i think I would be fine anywhere."

"Me, I wanna go to Disneyland."

"Pfft. What are you, a child?" singhal ni mama sa kay papa.

"Disneyland is a place for all ages, honey."

"Who said that?"

"Ako. Ngayon ko lang sinabi. 'Di mo ba narinig?"

Masaya akong pinanood ang simple nilang bangyan nang narinig ko ang door intercom.

It must be him.

"Sandali lang po," paalam ko sa kanila dahil baka magulat sila at nawala ako sa screen.

Felix kissed my forehead the moment I opened the door. I hugged him happily.

"Are you ready?"

Tumango ako. "Are you done? Doon... sa inyo?"

"Yes," hinawakan niya ang kamay ko "Let's go?"

"I was talking to my parents. Do you want to greet them?"

"Sure."

Marahan ko siyang hinila papasok at dinala sa sala kung saan naroon ang laptop ko.

"Ma, pa. Felix's here... We're going somewhere."

"Where's he? Tell him we have unfinished business yet."

"I'm pretty sure he heard you though," I chuckled and handed it to Felix.

"Hello, sir and ma'am. I will surely find time to formally introduce myseld to you. Soon."

"Nako hijo," it was mom "Dont bother. I know both you and Shiloah are busy with your work..."

Pinagtaasan ko ng kilay si Felix nang makahulugan niya akong nilingon.

"...kaya 'wag mo na lang pansinin ang sinabi niya. Also, can you stop calling me ma'am? You can call us tita and tito."

"Huh? No, honey. He shoulf call me sir," giit ni papa.

I glanced at the wall clock and saw that the time. Inagaw ko kay Felix ang laptop at hinarap ang mga magulang ko.

"Ma, pa, I'll call you again alright? We have to go."

"Oh. Okay. Mag-ingat kayo ha?"

"Yes, ma."

"Shiloah, tell that Philip to send you home safely. Buo at walang kulang."

I smirked at him. "Opo. Also, it's Felix, papa. Not Philip."

Sumiksik si Felix sa akin para makita siya sa camera.

"I'll keep that in mind, sir. Thank you. Ma'am... I mean, tita. We will be safe po. See you soon."

"Bye!"

"Bye, ma, pa. Love you!" I gestured a kiss to them and ended the call.

Ni-off ko ito at nilagay sa table. I sighed.

"Let's go?"

Marahan siyang tumango.

He held my hand as we approach his car, a gift he received on his birthday.

"Wow! Tell me this is your first time riding this..."

"Yup."

"With me as the first passesnger."

Tumaas ang gilid ng kanyang labi. "With you."

I grinned.

"Where do you wanna go after this?" he asked as soon as we took our seats on an high-end restaurant.

It looked like a place only rich people can afford. The inside is already occupied by few people with chains of gold around their necks, screaming power and wealth.

The waiter just left when he got our orders. Ngayon ay hinihintay na lang namin itong dumating.

"Uhh, it might be corny to hear but I would go anywhere with you..."

I chuckled when he raised an eyebrow at me.

"You're now saying that when you won't even have a single meal with me before," pinagkrus niya ang kanyang mga braso.

"That's because you were so annoying," I leaned on the back rest.

"That's because you allow everyone to be pushover."

My jaw dropped.

"No, I don't!"

"Yes you do," pumangalumbaba siya at pinukol sa akin ang paningin.

My eyes drifted to the other tables just to avoid Felix's gazes. He always tend to look at me with intensity I could never stand.

I bit my lip. He's got a point. I know it myself.

"Hey," hinawakan niya ang kamay kong nakapatong sa mesa "Are you upset? I'm sorry."

"I'm not." If things between me and him did not change, then I would be sure that conversation like this would lead us into bickering again. "It's actually nice talking like thus. Making fun of the past. We never did it without us fighting and insulting each other," I smiled.

His face became serious.

"I'm sorry."

I faced down. I just now realized that I don't get along well with him is not because for the sole reason that he was rude. But because he can see through me and it was my ego that's always talking. Because I can't accept that he's right. About me. Always. I was hurt because I was insecure. And it's comforting that I can talk about it now. With him. Without getting mad.

We can be upset with each other but I know we'll talk and fix it out. Together.

"I'm sorry, too. If I ever was rude to you, but please know you we're rude to me first although I originally wanted to be friends with you," I pouted.

We wasted no second when the food came. The food they served were good but I think it tasted best because Felix and I conversed with things we could not before.

We spent hours in that place and when we're about to leave, I volunteered to pay for our meal. But Felix being a man that he is, he did not let me pay a single coin no matter how much I insisted.

We drove to a nearest park. Gusto niya sanang magmall kami pero sinabi kong sawa na ako roon kaya nagkasundo kaming dito na lang magpalipas ng oras bago umuwi. He told me he wanted us to be out of town but he's got work tomorrow.

I was enjoying the green trees and the other vibrant colors of the objects here. May ikapeperpekto pa ba ang oras na 'to? Felix and me, walking under the afternoon sun, enjoying the cold breeze of the wind and warmth of his hand on mine.

Busog pa ako pero pakiramdam ko ay nagugutom ako dahil sa amoy na nagmumula sa mga nakahilerang street foods.

Dahil hapon na ay marami-rami na ring tao. May mga mag-asawang binabantayan ang kanilang mga anak na nagsisitakbuhan sa berdeng d**o, estudyanteng tumatambay bago umuwi, at mga ibang namamasyal lang.

"Sir, bili na po kayo para kay ma'am," ani ng isang lalaking nagbebenta ng mga rosas.

Pareho kaming tumigil ni Felix.

"Magkano?"

"Fifty pesos lang po ang isa."

"Give me three," saka nito kinuha ang wallet at bumunot ng five hundred at inabot ito sa lalaki.

Felix took the three roses from him and pulled my hand to walk away with him but my head turned back to the boy who was as confused as me.

"Sir!" sigaw niya "'yung sukli mo po nakalimutan mo!" haboo niya sa amin.

As he panted, Felix and I stopped to face him again.

"You can keep it," Felix said.

"Po?"

"Sa'yo na ang sukli."

Bahagya akong natawa. He only translated it as if the boy does not understand it.

He took minute to process what Felix said. He then became excited with it but Ibsaw how he tried to suppress his smile.

"'Wag na po!" tanggi niya.

"It's okay. Christmas is months away anyway. Isipin mo na lang maagang pamasko. From a stanger."

The boy smiled but he took one rose and gave it to Felix.

"Heto po. Tanggapin niyo po." Nag-alinlangan pa si Felix na kuhain ito. "Thank you po," aniya at saka tumakbo ng mabilis palayo sa amin.

I let go of his hand to look around.

Aside from the swings and seesaws in the playground, there are statues of local heroes everywhere. Some are sitting on the grass, and some are on the benches.

I looked up and the the sky was already a combination of orange, pink, and purple. Naghanap ako ng magandang puwesto at ginaya ang mga taong nakaupo sa damuhan. Felix walked slowly towards me and sat by my side.

“Which one do you think is prettier? The sunset in the province or in the city?” I asked, eyes straight on the sky.

He chuckled. “It’s the same sunset, Shiloah.”

“Of course it’s not! I personally think sunsets on provinces or islands are better than on city. I mean, it’s more colorful and… I don’t know, more beautiful.”

“Do you think it’s the most beautiful thing?”

“Hmm…” napaisip ako sa tanong niya “Maybe?”

“I don’t. I know for a fact that it isn’t because I saw one that’s more beautiful and mesmerizing.”

Pinagtaasan ko siya ng kilay.

“And what could it be?”

“You.” Bumuga ako ng hangin para pigilang matawa.

“Here,” iniabot niya sa akin ang bili niyang mga rosas “You are prettier than that roses and mesmerizing that sunset.”

Pinandilatan ko siya habang nangingiti. “Stop using lines like that. It is so not you!”

We both laughed wholeheartedly.

“I know how pretty I am already, Felix but still, thank you…”

Malakas siyang humalakhak na para bang isang malaking joke ang sinabi ko kaya malakas ko rin siyang hinampas.

“Ouch!” aniya sabay himas sa namumula niyang braso.

“Sorry! Kasalanan mo kasi, e!”

Mabilis lumipas ang oras. When it was dark, we decided to have our dinner on a regular food store near our location. After that, we took another walk before finally sending me home.

I told him to park his car just in front of the building since hindi naman na siya papasok sa loob. Of all the other days, I think this day was my most favorite. I totally had fun and my heart feels heavy that this day ended so quickly. Hindi pa ako nakakalabas ay nalulungkot na agad ako.

Do I sound like I was overreacting?

But it’s really saddening that we have to be separated again! I don’t know if a day like this will ever happen again.

“Thanks for today…” I kissed his cheek. “Good night.”

Binuksan ko ang car door at dahan-dahang humakbang palabas.

“Shy…” habol niya.

“Hmm?”

“Do you wanna… come with me?”

“To where?”

“My home.”

My lips formed an ‘o’. But I can’t deny the fact that I was excited with the idea. Just thinking about how does his home looks like is already exciting. You know, people say we can know a person’s personality and character through his home kaya naman hindi ako nadalawang-isip na pumayag.

“Wait for me here.”

Malalaki ang hakbang kong tinungo ang building at saka dali-daling pumasok sa bahay ko. Halos matapilok na ako nang tigdadalawang hakbang ang ginawa ko para mas mabilis na makapasok sa kwarto. Nagmamadali kong pinasok sa duffel bag ang kahit anong damit kong mahablot pagkatapos ay tumakbo pababa. Humahangos ako nang nakapasok muli sa sasakyan niya.

“Let’s go,” nahahapo kong sabi.

Apparently, his house is just kilometers away from mine. Tulad ko ay convenient rin ang building ng kanyang bahay. Malapit sa kompanya. Ang kinaibahan lang namin ay hindi na ako nagtatrabaho.

Thinking about it, I am officially a jobless person. Hindi kakayanin ng savings kong buhayin ako kung magtatagal akong ganito. I have to find a work again.

Felix swiped his card key and revealed to me a luxurious yet minimal-looking. It’s walls are painted with spruce and gray colors. His living room a white couch, carpet, small coffee table and a wide flat-screen television and almost every corner of the room is a book case filled with different books.

“Felix, can I?” I pointed my finger on the other side of his him, asking permission if I can take a look around.

He nodded and held my duffel bag for me.

The kitchen is also minimalistic. Moderno ang lahat ng kagamitan. He has an electric stove and a smart refrigerator. Pagtingin mo sa may sink ay wala kang makikitang kahit isang plato o kutsara roon. Under the corner and side table tat looked like a sink is a cabinet where all his tableware are. He even has a dishwasher. Does it mean he doesn’t wash dishes? Tapos pinaghugas ko lang siya ng pinagkainan namin? My god!

I wanted to open the door beside his kitchen and dining room but I felt like it’s his library or office.

I went back to him in the living room pero masyadong naaagaw ng paningin ko ang mga nakapatong na libro sa couch at kanyang coffee table. Lumapit ako roon at kumuha ng isa.

“Let me just leave your things on the room,” paalam niya.

“Sure.”

I flipped the pages of the book and my head almost spinned when I could not understand a single word about it. Sinubukan kong kumuha ng isa pa para basahin ito ngunit kaunti lang ang naiintindihan ko rito. Bagsak ang mga balikat ay binalik ko ito sa kanilang dating pwesto. I looked at the title of the books and it is all about business.

Felix really is into business.

He came down and sat with me.

“You’re really into business, huh? Are you planning to make your own?”

“One day…”

“Does it mean you’re also leaving the company?”

I furrowed my brows. If he ever confirms it, I would have to question everything he did.

“Maybe?”

What?!

“If so, then why do you have to compete with me on the opening?”

“Because you look cute when you’re annoyed.”

“Really… Felix? Do you even have the slightest idea how heartbroken I was when Allona said the board prefers you…?” I sighed. “I-I mean, don’t get me wrong but… you know how much worked hard for it. Don’t you?”

He leaned on the couch and held caressed my hand.

“And that was why I kept asking why did you have to leave. I have plans, you see. But I, guess it was our lack of communication that led us to this…”

I sighed once more, this time heavily. It can’t be undone anyway. Do I regret it? I don’t think so. For the long years of being an employee, this is actually the first time I’ve felt so… free. Like, I won’t have to worry about waking up early anymore, and I won’t have to sacrifice my precious time just to submit a report my co-worker failed to do so.