Winning Her Back

Chapter 3

We're at a restaurant that is 30 minutes drive away from school.

May ilang mga estudyante na kumakain dito from our school at hindi ko maiwasan na tumaas ang anxiety level kapag may napapadaan na ilang mga estudyante malapit sa table namin.

Kinakabahan ako kasi baka mamaya awayin nalang ako bigla ng isa sa mga babae nitong si Santos.

My goodness! Hindi ko lubos akalain na ganito pala nakaka- anxious kapag kasama itong lalaki na 'to.

May tatlong estudyante mula sa university ang dumaan malapit sa table namin at dali- dali kong tinakpan ang aking mukha para hindi nila ako mamukhaan at halos mai- subsob ko na ang mukha ko sa pagkain na nasa hapag dahil sa kakayuko ko.

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag ng maka- lagpas sila at walang masamang nangyari saken.

Napapikit ako at saka bumuntong hininga.

Pagdilat ko, nakita ko na nakatingin saken si Santos na takang- taka.

"What was that for?" Inosente nyang tanong, naka- kunot ang kanyang noo.

Seryoso, hindi ata talaga aware 'tong si Santos, kasi chill na chill sya habang kumakain samantalang ako ay halos hindi ko na malunok ang pagkain ko.

I rolled my eyes at him and just resumed eating.

I cannot blame him if he cannot feel my uneasiness since I tried hard not to make him notice it.

"You act like you're hiding from someone," luminga- linga sya sa paligid na para bang hinahanap nya kung sino ang pinagtataguan ko.

When he suspected no one, his eyes went back at me.

"May magagalit ba dahil niyaya kitang mag- lunch?"

Tinapunan ko sya ng tingin

"Oo," deretsahan kong sagot sabay subo ng pagkain.

Nanliit ang kanyang mga mata at nagsalubong ang kanyang kilay. Nakita ko din ang pagdilim ng kanyang paningin at pagtiim ng bagang pati na din pagtikom ng kanyang kamao.

"Who? Your boyfriend?" He asked in his voice enlaced with irritation.

Tiningnan ko sya ng deretso sa mata kung seryoso ba sya sa tanong nya pero galit na ekspresyon lamang na mukha ang nakita ko. 

Galit sya, because?

"You're kidding, right?" Sarkastiko kong tanong, and his expression suddenly changed. 

"Wala akong boyfriend, Santos," sabi ko habang pinapahid ang napkin sa aking bibig. Inilapag ko ito sa mesa at muling tumingin sa kanya.

Hindi ko alam kung magic word ba yung sinabi ko pero nakita ko kung paano lumiwanag ang kanyang mukha at pagluwag ng kanyang kamao,

Ewan ko ba sa lalaking 'to. Pabago- bago ng mood.

Tumikhim ako bago muling nagsalita,

"Yung mga babae mo ang kinakatakutan ko, baka mamaya bigla nalang akong sugudin dito dahil kasama kita," sabi ko ng walang preno, bahala na sya kung ano ang gusto nyang isipin sa akin,

Tinaasan nya ako ng kilay na para bang hindi sya makapaniwala sa narinig nya,

"Mga babae?" Ulit niya sa sinabi ko para bigyang diin ang salitang 'mga'

Oh eh bakit? Hindi ba?

This time, ako naman ang nagtaas ng kilay sa kanya,

"Last week kasi, si Sandy yung kasama mo, pero last time nakita din kita na may kasamang ibang babae, definitely from another course, and earlier I saw you kissing Fiona," I frankly said without any plan to break my eye contact with him. I just really want to rub it in his face how womanizer and asshole he is.

Napakunot ang noo nya at bumalik ang iritable nyang itsura.

He closed his eyes before letting out a deep breath as if he's so frustrated with me. Really, Santos?

When he opened it, I couldn't escape his piercing gaze and I felt like I was frozen from my seat.

"Sandy, yes, she confessed last week that she has feelings for me but I didn't give a f**k about her. She keeps on following me and I didn't want to be rude to shoo her away, but last time, I got tired of her that's why I told her that I'm in love with someone else," he explained in a hoarse voice. I frowned at the last thing he said but I don't think he noticed it.

Is he really in love or it's just his alibi?

"The girl that you mentioned, yes, she's from another course, her name is Bea, she's a school journalist, she just interviewed me about how I handled my studies, stress, and pressure since I'm aspiring Cumlaude. Well, I cannot blame her if she chose me over you," he said without stuttering.

Napakurap ako ng ilang beses sa sinabi nya. Bakit parang ang dating sa akin ng ganitong eksena ay boyfriend na nage- explain sa nagseselos na girlfriend.

What the?!

 I mentally cursed myself for that thought. Jusko Isabel, kilabutan ka sa sinasabi mo.

I tried my best to focus when I noticed that he is getting momentum to explain more but I think, I already lost my concentration a while ago and besides, I already embarrassed myself for judging him.

"And for Fiona," he narrowed his eyes at me as he leaned closer,

"Do you even know how to scrutinize kissing?" He asked as if questioning how I analyzed what I just witnessed.

That question caught me off- guard. 

Napalunok ako at napakurap ng dalawang beses. Alam ko na wala pa akong experience pagdating sa pakikipag- relasyon pero kailangan pa bang i- inspeksyon ang paghalik? At may iba't- ibang klase pa ba ng halik?

Oh God, Isabel! Bakit ba napaka- inosente mo pagdating sa ganitong bagay?

Ngayon, gusto ko nalang na tamaan ako ng kidlat dahil hindi ko alam ang isasagot ko sa lalaking 'to.

"Because as far as I remembered, she was the one who kissed me and not the other way around,"  he said, clenching his fist on top of the table while his eyes were full of grimace. Yeah, he's annoyed, I guess.

Okay, so si Fiona ang humalik sa kanya? Tama?

"And it's only a smack, I never responded to her kiss," sabi nya sabay lipat ng tingin sa labas ng restaurant.

"f**k," he hissed.

So kapag smack, wala lang yun? Ganun ba dapat?

It's still a kiss. A kiss is a kiss. You should not give it to someone if you don't mean it and if you don't have true feelings for that person.

 Just like the words, I Love You, you should not say it if you don't mean it or you'll end up hurting the person.

Well, maybe Fiona really meant to kiss Santos because her feelings are true towards him. But Santos doesn't seem to like it. So if that's the case, Fiona will just end up hurting herself. Because from what I can see right now, based on my perspective-- I looked at Santos who busied himself watching the cars that are passing by-- it's a one-sided love.

Naramdaman nya ata na nakatingin ako sa kanya kaya agad na pumaling ang tingin nya saken.

Ni hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko ng bigyan nya ako ng tingin na halos tumagos sa aking sistema.

"One more thing, I invited you for lunch not for us to talk about these things but because I want to reconcile with you for all the times that I made you feel bad, I know I teased you a lot and annoyed you almost every day so I really want to make up with you before it's too late," he said in a firm voice.

Ilang segundo kaming nanahimik bago ko nakitang kinagat nya ang kanyang ibabang labi at muling nagsalita, "I'm sorry but I just did it to get your attention-- because I'm craving for your attention, Tams," malumanay niyang sabi. 

Napa- tanga ako sa kanya. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig ko. Gusto kong tumawa ng malakas para pakalmahin ang mga paru- paro sa aking tiyan pero ang lalaking nasa harap ko ay mataman akong tinitingnan sa mata at pakiramdam ko ay nagwa- wala ang aking buong sistema. Nakaka- bingi din ang kabog ng aking puso.

He's craving for my... attention

What does he mean by that? For the record, I just want to make it clear,

"We've been classmates since first year but all I could do was to pissed you off just for you to notice me, I'm sorry for being that stupid. But today..."

Halos mapatalon ako sa aking kinau- upuan nang hawakan nya ang aking kamay at pakiramdam ko ay nanlamig ang aking buong katawan.

"I finally found the courage to confess my feelings for you. Yes, it's now or never. It's either you'll end up with me or you'll end up with someone else, but of course, I prefer the former," his hazel brown eyes are so passionate and I feel like it stirred up something in my emotion.

Pinagpapawisan ako kahit na maayos ang air conditioning unit dito sa restaurant. Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng puso ko at hindi ako sigurado kung pati siya ay naririnig ito. Naramdaman ko din ang pagtayo ng balahibo sa aking batok.

I saw his adam's apple move up and down before squeezing my hand.

He looked at me straight in the eyes and I felt like I am an ice cream that is melting under the heat of the sun.

Humugot si Santos ng malalim na hininga saka muling nagsalita, "I like you, Tams, and I didn't like it when you associated me with other girls because I know in myself whom I really like and it's you. No one else, but you." 

And that left me agape.