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Jewish Cat, German Mouse

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Spinoff of "Thomas Grant: Vampire Hunter" and "Tusks in the Closet." Elias Bek is just a simple German who needs Turkish-German rappers of Cologne to protect him. That all changes when he meets the hot sss President of Afroasia by chance.

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Ah, Cologne; the throne and social hub of North Rhine-Westphalia. North Rhine-Westphalia has more Germans living in it than Berlin. With that said, it's a crying shame that Cologne is smaller than Berlin. With an armed convoy surrounding it, a limo rides across the Hohenzollern Bridge. The limo is fashioned with small Afroasian flags. On both sides of the bridge, Frenchfolk and North Rhine-Westphalians cheer, and wave little Afroasian flags of their own. Many are either Turkic immigrants, or products of them... It all continues at Cologne Cathedral. Around it, a crowd has assembled. Many have trouble getting inside. Hence, they'll miss out on the Afroasian president, when she reveals her rack...uh, face...to Cologne's passionate crowd... Elias Bek, sadly, will be one of these unlucky souls. He tries to get in closer...but can't. Nonetheless, his assignment was merely to attend one of these; and he is. All he's got to do, once he gets back to the hood, where hip-hop Turkic immigrants live with him, is write about what he remembers... He never sees her...but the acoustics in the Cathedral are so high-quality, that everyone can hear her from where they are. Good; at least Elias will have more than just the disgusting, monotonous, and over-human details of the crowd to write about in his report... Her voice is so seductive. Several times, during her speech, Elias feels as though she's speaking directly to him... Alas, that's just bogus. She's never even MET him, and probably never will... She's a Jew, after all; and he's a Westphalian. Once, less than a century ago, his kin would hang, shoot, and roast her kin in ovens, in swamped death camps all over Central Europe... Around, a lot of the Turkic immigrants see Elias. Elias tries to be friendly...but they just scoff, and look away. At one point, Elias is standing right next to a smoking-hot Turkish-German babe. She acts like she never sees him. Elias doesn't blame her. There was a time, less than a century ago, when most Germans would've had a ball roasting, shooting, gassing, and hanging Turks, Azeris, and Turkmens, too...Nonetheless, she does acknowledge him once. He isn't looking when she does. "I like your hair," she admits. Elias looks around... But he shakes his head, and keeps listening to the Afroasian president, thinking he's just hearing voices... Later on, it all ends. Ophir gets back into her limo, and is driven towards the town's limits... There are shorter ways through the city...but most of them are too risky for a celebrity such as Ophir to take. So, her secret servants take her on a path they think will be less risky... This is a nice neighborhood. TOO nice... It's inhabited by a lot of German patriots. For anyone else more local, that'd be amusing news... Somehow, the convoy is attacked. Somehow, Ophir loses all of her secret servants. Somehow, she's lost and alone, in the middle of Cologne. And somehow, she's got to get back to Afroasia, without drawing too much attention to herself... And when you look like an sss, and dress like one, there's almost no hope for you there...

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